#the general effect is exceptionally swagger

[detroitlib]

Men's fashions for fall and winter 1926-1927 / English Woolen Co. Catalog featuring clothing from the English Woolen Company located at 1556 Woodward Avenue and 141 Michigan Avenue in Detroit, Michigan.

Burton Historical Collection, Detroit Public Library

#the general effect is exceptionally swagger #swagger #exceptionally swagger #english woolen co. #ulster #detroit #detroit history #illustration #vintage #vintage advertising #english woolen company #1920s #1926 #1927 #20s #twenties #1920s fashion

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 5: I forgot what I was gonna call this one

The previous few entries in this retrospective have had a big old lead-in, about where the band was and how the next album came to be. This gets somewhat awkward now, as we discuss Radiohead’s fifth album, Amnesiac.

The issue is, this tracks on this album were recorded in the same session as Kid A, and it was released just over half a year later, so there isn’t as much to talk about. Kid A was, obviously, huge, but its success wouldn’t affect Amnesiac that much. I guess it got a bunch of music videos? Like, Kid A didn’t have singles, so it didn’t have either those or B-sides.

Regardless, despite being recorded simultaneously, Amnesiac is not truly cut from the same cloth as Kid A. It’s a titch more traditional and less electronic, bringing in jazz influences and classical stuff in addition to the electronica the previous album debuted. It also apparently has krautrock influences, but I don’t really know what that means, so perhaps we should just dive into it and find out.

Much like Kid A and Everything In Its Right Place, Amnesiac opens on an electronic line, albeit one that is slightly less iconic. Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box (the spelling errors are not mine) is a substantially more muted introduction, driven by a scattered electronic percussion and a very low melody. The lyrics are pretty simple, but “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case” is kind of just a great, memeable line I’m sure people have had fun with.

Packt Like Sardines does unfortunately introduce us to a problem surrounding Amnesiac, and the discussion surrounding it. It is extremely often considered an outtakes album, a smattering of disconnected tracks, and I consider that completely unfair to the album’s design. However, Packt does inevitably invite comparisons to Everything, and it doesn’t compare favourably. I still really like the song, it’s soft and somehow comfortable in its coldness, but Everything is, well, everything.

This theme may continue.

It is exceptionally frustrating that a higher-quality copy of this video isn’t available, because it’s really good.

There was a solid period where I considered Pyramid Song my favourite Radiohead track. It is impossibly deep, and beautiful, and above all else evocative. I have no idea why it’s called the way it is, a name echoing either geometry or the ancient past, but the little piano loop Pyramid Song is built upon is just…so much. The lyrics aren’t especially complex, but they manage to capture a very specific emotion of loss and grief, but of absolution, and just hnnng.

If you didn’t watch the video, by the way, go fucking do that. It might have the graphics of an early 00s video game cutscene, but it is genuinely as evocative and tragic as the song itself. Although according to the comments, Pyramid Song was apparently in Cyberpunk 2077, which on the one hand is cool it exposed a bunch of new people to this baller song, on the other hand it deserves so much better than being in that of all games.

I’m just going to say this ahead of time, I don’t think Radiohead captures beauty so well again until two albums from now.

We go from the utterly iconic Pyramid Song to the significantly less so Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. I…really don’t know what there is to say about this one. It’s kind of an electronic soundscape more than a piece of music. It technically has lyrics, but they’re so heavily affected that it’s hard to see them as separate from the tune itself. I’ve spoken before about songs that are driving towards a point, that have a clear sense of forward motion from a repeating instrumental that feels like the consistent rattle of a train car. This song sort of has that, but without as much of the energy as those songs often have- it’s like a ride you have no control over. It’s basically fine, but I have no idea when I’d ever go out of my way to listen to this.

Also, what the fuck is a Pulk? That’s actually a word, I’m not getting a red underline like with Crushd, but I’m not sure if it’s an intentional misspelling or not.

The next song, You and Whose Army?, is something I remember as being way less subtle than it is. I mean the lyrics are very clearly directed at a person, and spoilers, it’s UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, but if you don’t know the period, or the band’s politics in general, it’s probably going to go right over your head.

It’s a song with two clear halves. One of them is quiet, muted even, subtle instrumentation over muffled vocals, and the second is swelling, and triumphant, powerful instrumentation over muffled vocals. The second half is a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t feel as paid off were it not for the first, so fair enough. I think I used to like this song a lot more than I do now, unfortunately.

I Might Be Wrong is probably the most traditional song we’ve seen from this band in a minute, huh. A bass-driven track that is unquestionably a rock song, even with more electronic percussion and effects on it. Try listening to this with headphones, by the way- it’s extremely heavily panned, something I picked up on in high school since every pair of earphones I’d get would break in one ear eventually.

Despite the previous track’s eventual energy, I Might Be Wrong conveys the general mood of the album- that is, it’s pretty mellow? Even as the bluesy groove keeps going, the track never gets as intense as even say No Surprises. It’s a bit of a vibe, isn’t it? I especially enjoy the little Afterword the song has, it’s not much but I feel like it really adds to the track as a whole.

Wait how the fuck is You And Whose Army? more popular than this? What 23 million people pop that song on the reg? I don’t understand.

Considering the subject matter of this song, and that I’d never watched it before, I was somewhat apprehensive clicking this music video. And…..yeah………..it sure is like that…..

Anyway so Knives Out is about eating people. Probably? That’s the text of it, the subtext is probably a fair bit deeper than that. Like taking advantage of what people leave behind in their absence in a more general, non-cannibalistic sense. Maybe.

I think this song is the most acoustic/least electronic song on the album? Save for one we’ll get to later, maybe. Its lyrics are kind of gross, but that’s allowed.

I’m somewhat frustrated by the lack of things I can think of to say, because I really like this song. It’s a lot like I Might Be Wrong, in that it’s a more chill rockier song than most of the album, but with a different sort of vibe. Uhh…yeah? Shrug? 8/10, would listen to again.

Anyway, we now hit Morning Bell/Amnesiac as track number 7, and it’s the least subtle reference to Kid A I guess you can think of. I mean, it’s a different version of the same song, much louder and more discordant. Bits of it sound like they could be comforting, but juxtaposed with some of the more distressing elements it’s a bit of a whirlwind.

I can comfortably say that Morning Bell/Amnesiac is A Good Song. However, I can’t really appreciate it as such, for a very silly reason. Since I thought the pun would be good, I had this track as my morning alarm for a very long time, and as a result, I cannot stand listening to it. Let this be a warning, never use a song you like to try and get out of bed, if you want to keep liking it.

Dollars and Cents is another sparse, low rock track that eventually builds into a bigger deal as it goes on. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to make out the instruments, a low cymbal line and loose guitar folding in on each other in the background. It, regrettably, doesn’t quite land on the same stick as many of the other tracks on the album, being basically fine but not really notable? And I think that’s the biggest difference between Amnesiac and Kid A, Amnesiac actually misses. Like, I always forget about In Limbo, but it’s unquestionably a good song. Between many of Amnesiac’s more experimental tracks not living quite up to snuff, and Dollars and Cents being largely okay, it’s no wonder why the album is often seen as the inferior follow-up.

This is not particularly helped by the ninth track, Hunting Bears, a loose guitar instrumental that doesn’t work nearly as well as Treefingers. It doesn’t have the vibe, and it doesn’t fit as cleanly in the middle of the album like that one does. It’s just, kind of, there. I genuinely usually skip it when I listen to this album, but I figured it wouldn’t be fair to do that here. It’s just, kind of, a miss. Pretty short, though- I could believe this originally having been part of Dollars and Cents, like a longer version of the end bit from I Might Be Wrong.

While I know this is a video for both Pulk/Pull and Like Spinning Plates, I associate it more with the latter. Not only is the version of Pulk/Pull very different from the album, well, you’ll see why I think the LSP bit is more memorable.

I think Like Spinning Plates is extremely cool. If nothing else, it’s super interesting how they got this to work. The vocal effect for the first verse was achieved by getting Thom to sing the lyrics, reversing that recording, having him memorise how that sounded and perform that, and then reversing that into the final results. How cool is that? I think it’s cool. Also at some points in the second verse, they’re playing a forwards and backwards vocal track simultaneously, which is a really neat effect.

The instrumental is…hard to describe. Apparently, it was a result of trying to make I Will (which would release one album later), which they reversed and played with to get this track. If you’re very familiar with that song, I suppose you could hear that, but I can’t. I just sit back and appreciate the music.

Amnesiac’s final track is Life in a Glasshouse, easily its most bombastic and jazzy. This sounds like a cabaret closer, a swaggering tragedy, an exploratory rehearsal of a final track. It also kind of sounds like a mental breakdown, which, mood.

There’s like, a whole band on this thing. Horns and woodwinds, a piano and probably more than one percussion element. The clarinet (?) noodling on the song is incredibly fun, giving it an almost playful edge, undercutting the downtempo mood of the song, and keeping it from being such a dirge. Especially as the track builds towards its finale, it’s clear that there was a bit more fun going on here. Of course, it can’t end on such a climax, as that little stitch of paranoia that ends up being the album’s closing word manages to sneak through.

And that ends Amnesiac. Now, obviously, it isn’t as good as Kid A. It’s less consistent, it doesn’t have Idioteque, et cetera. But I don’t actually think the comparison is as one to one as often it appears people do. The styles of the albums are completely different- Kid A incorporating so much ambient and electronic noise while Amnesiac has more of the acoustic and jazzy stuff going on. The two albums may have released closely, and recorded even moreso, but they are extremely different beasts at the end of the day.

It’s far from my favourite album of Radiohead’s, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for having it as theirs, you know.

We’ll get to my favourite album next week, where we will also see if I can either defend or maintain that opinion. Hail to the Thief beckons.

#ramble #music #radiohead #amnesiac

[happymetalgirl]

September 2020

As quickly as I caught up, I fell behind, and I’ll explain it all later, but that’s why some of the review blurbs here are really short while others are much longer. I still tried to make the shorter ones as expressive and dense as possible, even though I personally don’t like that approach so much. Anyway, September 2020, still a hellhole.

Faidra - Six Voices Inside

Drawing very obvious influence from Burzum’s Filosofem for the ambient portion of its sound, Faidra’s atmospheric black metal debut manages to marry both the snow-hazy ambience of Norway’s second wave with today’s more full-bodied naturalistic ambient black metal in a ceremony rather respectably elegant for a debut.

7/10

Heathen - Empire of the Blind

One of the more anticipated thrash metal releases of the year, Heathen’s more intensely melodically focused and unbalanced approach only drags their lethargic Testament-sequel brand of melodic thrash down, as Empire of the Blind trades out the genre’s hallmark spitfire aggression for dull guitar leads and uninspired operatic vocal lines that leave only a desire for the former.

5/10

Oceans of Slumber - Oceans of Slumber

A demonstrably competent, but woefully soulless and bloated display of neo-classical prog metal chops, Oceans of Slumber’s self-titled fifth LP is one of many of the genre’s avatars for much of its impressive face-value and numb delivery.

5/10

Corey Taylor - CMFT

We all knew this day would come, the charismatic Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman has finally released a solo album. And you could tell from the rollout with the star-cameo-studded music video for the lead single, “CMFT Must Be Stopped”, that Corey was going to lean in on it. But honestly, for as much natural swagger Corey Taylor can wield and showcases on the track, his straightforward rock songwriting that has graced Stone Sour’s discography is astoundingly weak, and this song’s more exuberant egotistical indulgence amplifies it rather than remedying it. It’s definitely one of the worst singles I’ve heard all year, especially for a project so highly anticipated as this, and there’s really no excuse for it to be this bad. If the general goal of a solo project is to transcribe your creative DNA onto an album as authentically as possible, and if this is an honest portrait of Corey’s creative core, it really just affirms for the many people annoyed by his media omnipresence that his main talent is just being the great big mouth. It should be obvious, but I’m not saying this to disparage in any way his massive contributions to the legendary legacy of Slipknot or even the genuinely important role he’s taken up as metal’s de facto representative press secretary. It’s not unheard of, and probably more normal than the opposite, for group-embedded artists to struggle to get a strong solo venture going. Thankfully, the lead single is the lowest point this album stoops to, but with its generic 80’s hard rock and glam anthems, it frequently gets pretty damn close. And look, I can tell it’s an album that’s supposed to be more about having a good time than any of that other artist DNA shit I brought up earlier, but its only routes there are through cheap imitation of other artists’ styles, and this still wouldn’t be anywhere near my first well of songs to draw from if I were making the most drunken of tailgater playlists.

4/10

Skeletal Remains - The Entombment of Chaos

Relatively new on the wider death metal scene, the Californian four-piece show once again, on their fourth album, why there remains such an appetite for old-school death metal with effective beating sessions and shredding clinics like The Entombment of Chaos.

7/10

Messiah - Fracmont

Originally part of the movement of early intensifying that inched fast, heavy, growly metal closer and closer to, and eventually over, the line that would separate thrash from what would become the vast world of death metal before their lengthy disbandment, Switzerland’s Messiah are fortunate to return to a world still hungry for new and old flavors of death metal with the stylistically and compositionally vintage (if not rusty) but somewhat technologically updated death-thrash of Fracmont, but they will need to do more than just pick up where they left off and acclimate their approach to the modern era if they intend to stick it out in today’s harsher death metal ecosystem.

6/10

Stryper - Even the Devil Believes

The Christian glam metal outfit have really leaned into the power metal glory that their high-soaring brand was always kind of adjacent to over the past few albums, and to their benefit, and despite what their goofy striped outfit look back in the day would have led you to predict, the steadfast veteran Christian rockers have aged far better than most of their 80’s hair metal contemporaries. Nevertheless, the walking oxymorons’ cheesy, on-the-nose, and occasionally preachy lyricism remain a pesky turn-off to both the religion they espouse and the medium they evangelize through. Frontman Michael Sweet took a bit of a misdirected offense from another reviewer who pointed out exactly this about his band’s new album, taking some media time to play the insufferable persecuted god-fearing follower of Jesus that so many Christians so delusionally imagine they are as a majority religious group with more political power than any other. Now with Michael Sweet claiming that his band has it so rough because they’re openly Christian, I say it really comes down to how you present it, and he especially presents it kinda goofy. One of the songs I’ve been getting energized by a lot on my workout playlist is “Devil’s Den” by Impending Doom, an also openly Christian band. And apart from the nasty 8-string groove, the song’s central refrain “slaughter the demons that are clawing on my brother’s back, until my brothers fight back” about support through spiritual struggle against one’s vices is a thrilling lyric that frames that aspect of Christian spirituality in a much more relatable and sympathizable manner. I’m not expecting Stryper to go into gratuitous deathcore brutality to deliver their message, but they can’t be mad about receiving criticism when they haven’t evolved the 9th-grade-reading-level lyricism that was begrudgingly accepted in the 80’s. Sociopolitical stuff and frontman antics aside, Even the Devil Believes is an instrumentally solid, but exceptionally lyrically corny record full of Bible verse quotes and Sunday School rhymes. I’ll highlight the song “Do Unto Others” for beating the odds on this album with its invigorating sing-along power metal melody, but that song is perhaps the sole reason my feelings in this album are more neutral overall instead on negative, while the vast majority of this album is just begging to be instrumental or at least tuned out.

5/10

Mastodon - Medium Rarities

Mastodon really could have just saved the earth-quaking opening single for their next album or released it as a stand-alone single instead of with the other forty minutes of entirely unnecessary of instrumental versions and live cuts among the other worthwhile material to compile for an album like this.

Fallen Torches/10

Ihsahn - Pharos

The now prog-immersed enigmatic Emperor frontman put out a pretty solid EP earlier in the year, but I was still hoping that Ihsahn would come through with a more essential addition to his solo catalog, and even if it’s a small one, his second EP of 2020 is that addition. Pharos is a succinct, five-song display of proggy melodicism much more confident and infectious than the still-respectable Telemark, further bolstering Ihsahn’s prog credibility and proving to anyone skeptical that he was all esoteric experimental bark and no substantive bite that he indeed has the songwriting chops to thrive in the genre.

8/10

Uniform - Shame

The New York duo’s sardonic and noisy industrial metal neither progresses nor regresses on their fourth album, Michael Berdan’s nasty vocal delivery and the backing industrial instrumentation lose steam and effectiveness rather quickly and the numbing experience ends up being over before you know it for the wrong reasons. It has its moments, but they are brief and few in number.

6/10

Cloudkicker - Solitude

Through an eleventh album under the name of his occasionally djenty instrumental prog studio project, Ohio virtuoso Ben Sharp once again flexes his technical and compositional prowess in an entertaining rather than self-congratulatory manner.

7/10

Marilyn Manson - We Are Chaos

This was a bit of a weird one, and it definitely caught me off guard for a few reasons, mostly for how it flows and for my own not hearing the title track previously when it was released as a single. The iconic 90’s boogeyman of the religious right wing in America is on his eleventh album now and (I mentioned it when I reviewed his tenth album, Heaven Upside Down, in 2011) it seems like people are finally accepting that the Antichrist Superstar’s fire-stoking strategy of blasphemous industrial metal last century was something that served its purpose for a time that has now passed. With Manson now on the more mortally introspective side of 50, the more measured rock of the latter portion of his catalog is starting to outsize what so many see as his grotesque golden age, which has seen him dip occasionally into the sounds of his beloved trilogy, but mostly dabbling in glam and indie rock sounds to find a late-career footing to sustain him. And on this album’s collaboration with country outlaw Shooter Jennings, I think the aging provocateur has found a direction that could be promising. Now I say it that way because I don’t think they gave us more than a tantalizing taste of it on this album, but I would love for Manson to further pursue what he and Jennings pull off together at the beginning of We Are Chaos. It took me a little while to warm up to the hammed up spoken word intro and industrial rock body of the opening track, “Red, Black, and Blue”, but I do think it does kick the album off well, albeit deceptively. It’s easy to forget how well Manson can hold himself on a ballad, not just on his meditation on his own aging during “Running to the Edge of the World”, but also on several cuts in his famed trilogy like “Lamb of God”, “Man That You Fear”, and “Coma White”. But after the somewhat tame fire of the intro track, Manson jumps straight into three songs of completely unexpected indie rock balladry that capture his mission to soundtrack every listener’s individual apocalypse at this time. Going through a lot of changes in life myself, I had a bit of unexpected catharsis with these songs that I think I’m going to be unable to dissociate them from with future listening. Unfortunately, Manson doesn’t re-engage ballade mode until “Broken Needle” closes the album, with the middle portion of the album having some good moments of industrial rock swagger, like “Perfume” and “Infinite Darkness”, but also some songs like “Half-Way & One Step Forward” that are just too dry on energy to be worth the time. But overall, I think the brightness in this album’s best spots make it well worth more than just a cursory listen, and I just hope that this album is a turning point for Manson and a step toward finding his groove without the flagrant heresy that built his youth.

7/10

Derek Sherinian - The Phoenix

Meandering through a generic prog rock instrumental wasteland and picking up the occasional morsel from between the dried out cracks of desert floor, The Phoenix is barely even a hearty display of the prog metal skill and street cred we all know the talented keyboardist to have.

5/10

Napalm Death - Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism

British grindcore legends Napalm Death need no introduction at this point, and with plenty of excitement behind their most lengthily-awaited LP after 2015’s well-respected Apex Predator - Easy Meat (and the sizzling appetizer the Logic Ravaged by Brute Force EP gave us), the band’s fifteenth full-length onslaught of deadly grindcore, Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism is a satisfactory dose of the band’s usual black-pilled rage against political and societal ills at most, with a few odd, to say the least, stylistic choices to say the least that beg the question of why this took so long.

6/10

Finntroll - Vredesvävd

While its adherence to the band’s boundaries within the niche genre they occupy makes it unlikely to take its established Finnish masterminds to any new heights, Vredesvävd is a professional, yet still fun serving of Finntroll’s black-metal-flavored folk metal brimming with energy and optimism.

6/10

Proscription - Conduit

Another Finnish outfit making their mark on 2020, Proscription still have some important ground to cover in ironing out and more specifically differentiating their blackened death metal sound, but Conduit is hardly a timid debut, providing a solid foundation for the four-piece to build upon.

6/10

Carnation - Where Death Lies

Not the faintest hint of a dreaded sophomore slump can be heard on the Belgians’ unflinching, merciless follow-up to their sizzlingly nasty 2018 debut album, Chapel of Abhorrence. Where Death Lies is as unyielding of a continuation as it gets, and in the best way such a straightforward trajectory can be. Nothing but skin-shredding, means-tested death metal in its most fibrant Floridian Form from front to back, Carnation showcase their skills from groove to solo in another stellar all-around display of force that provides a perhaps necessary reminder to the fans and critics annoyed by its ubiquitousness of the raw power that can come from unadulterated death metal.

8/10

Fit for a King - The Path

Fit for a King deliver perhaps the most convincing pathos yet for their more brightly melodic brand of Architects-like metalcore on their sixth album, putting on an exquisite balancing act that could sway even the most stubbornly cross-armed observer who likes the breakdowns but hates the clean singing.

7/10

Kataklysm - Unconquered

Kataklysm’s 2018 album, Meditations has ironically stuck out to me in retrospect because it was the shortest full-length review I had ever done, simply because there was so little to say about the unmemorable melodeath on that record. The band have definitely bounced back with some potent fire in their belly on the metalcore-infused Unconquered. Boasting more infectious grooves and more crushing breakdowns with a notably greater sense of urgency behind them, it’s still a pretty unambiguous and unambitious record, but it makes a far more convincing case for itself.

7/10

The Ocean Collective - Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic / Cenozoic

After a largely forgettable preceding act from all the way back in 2018, The Ocean Collective Return much more revitalized and sufficiently warmed up for a much more engaging 51 minutes of progressive metal that checks both classical and modern boxes.

7/10

Fires in the Distance - Echoes from Deep November

The debut album from the Connecticut four-piece offers a rather compositionallly directionless and standard take on the death-doom it offers. Even while taking a melodic approach very similar to that of a Khemmis or a Spirit Adrift, the attempted soulful guitar leads come off as aimlessly noodly and unplanned as the structures enclosing them, whose dynamic shifts feel more like repeated defibrillation attempts for unlively songs.

5/10

Darkcluster - Spirit of the Void

The debut album from this Canadian one-man-band studio project makes its intent to fill the sci-fi extreme thrash void that Vektor might not get to return to in the wake of the revealing David DiSanto’s domestic violence toward his girlfriend, and while Darkcluster’s mastermind clearly has the technicality down, the atrocious vocals across the rather lengthy and largely compositionally aimless project greatly hold this album back.

4/10

Swine of Dissent - An Uprising

A safer and more measured, but more successful black-metal-flavored thrash debut record, Swine of Dissent still have some work to do on the compositional floor as well, but with not as many glaring flaws, they have enough to start with and move forward with this type of thrash metal.

5/10

Gazpacho - Fireworker

The artsy Norwegian outfit returns to the more sprawling prog rock that hooked me into their music on Night for their eleventh album, but Fireworker is far from the kind tepid, nostalgic return to normal that a late-stage revisiting of older styles often suggests of other acts. Elevating their already lofty sound and massive scope to new cinematic, choral, orchestral heights with astounding ease, the soulfulness contained within the band’s clinical execution of such a daunting series of tasks makes Fireworker their most accomplished and enrapturing work yet.

9/10

Sumac - May You Be Held

While far from fatal, after the enthrallingly eccentric and humblingly heavy sludge experimentation of 2018’s Love in Shadow, the slightly tempered creativity and muddied production of May You Be Held is a mildly disappointing fourth LP simply for how high its creators have set their own bar. Nevertheless, Sumac continue to impress with a noisy, explosive, yet hypnotic approach to post-metal that thrives in the band’s love to draw outside the lines and with a deluxe box of crayons.

8/10

Obsidian Kingdom - Meat Machine

Priding themselves on their eccentricity, Obsidian Kingdom come through with one of the most stylistically diverse, genuinely experimental, and entirely entertaining sludge albums of the year, if not recent memory. Taking the thunderous sludge of Mastodon and going at it with the mindset of a band like Sumac, the quirky Catalans pack operatic vocals and even Slipknot-sequel passages into the intricate compactor that is Meat Machine, and it’s a feat they can certainly take pride in.

8/10

Deftones - Ohms

Coming from a big fan of both Gore and Koi No Yokan, Deftones’ plunge deeper into the elegant shoegaze of this later stage of their career on Ohms was bungled far too much by a lapse in the critical compositional organization that has allowed their ventures into spacey alternative metal territory to succeed.

5/10

[autumnthejokerat]

Beginner's Guide To Buying A Garage Door

So you need to purchase a garage entryway and be a specialist your first break. The following are a couple of tips to help the most common way of tracking down the right entryway for your home.

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Here are some overall principles:

Appearance

There are a wide scope of alternatives out there. You don't need to purchase a white garage entryway with a ton of squares any more. Truth be told a few producers can give you an entryway without any squares whatsoever. Example and plan alternatives are large number for most significant makers.

Most makers have a few tones, yet some deal the adaptability of many industrial facility prepared on colors. What will look best with your home and draw out the components you believe are significant? Those are the central questions to inquire.

Material and Plan

Steel garage doors come in embellished, ribbed and flush plans. Garage doors come in steel, copper, glass and aluminum, so there are different alternatives to consider. You have a larger number of alternatives than simply the one entryway you might be checking out in the display area. A few producers have some expertise in altering your entryway inside an exceptionally brief time frame, so lead time for a modified entryway with the right material and look is one more choice to consider.

The worth of the steel in your garage entryway is likewise a significant issue. Greetings ductile steel is best in somewhere around 25-check for security from imprinting. Guarantee that you ask about the check of steel utilized and regardless of whether the paint is prepared on, or just showered. This will give an extremely clear picture in a rush with regards to the quality that went into your possible buy. Click here : Woodinville garage doors

Discretionary Windows

Any garage entryway can be bought with discretionary windows. A bunch of examples and plans are presently accessible that permit in normal light to brighten up the garage. Gauge wellbeing issues in your decision and regardless of whether the windows are made of acrylic or glass.

Protection esteem

A few producers promote the protection worth of garage doors. The vast majority question this worry, since the garage in many homes is neither warmed nor cooled. In case protection is a worry to you, lightweight polystyrene froth protection can be added to most doors. Protected doors will assist with lessening the measure of outside temperatures that enters your garage, in this manner keeping it more agreeable for you. A protected entryway is for the most part calmer and has a more appealing inside than a uninsulated entryway.

Springs

The spring is maybe the most underestimated part of a garage entryway at first however spreads the word about its worth rapidly. Minimal expense doors will in general utilize expansion springs. Ensure an inward security control link is remembered for instance of breakage.

Springs will in general be the initial segment of the garage entryway to require administration or substitution. Many springs are tried to work between 5,000 to 10,000 cycles while a few makers make a spring that will endure up to 30,000 cycles or more. That is a wide contrast in life span and worth when you add it up. Most mortgage holders go through their garage doors to 3,000 times each year so a 10,000-cycle spring could break inside 3-4 years. Substitution generally costs $150 - $250. Actually look at the producer's guarantee on the spring. Never purchase an entryway with just a one-year guarantee on the spring.

Equipment

This is one more characterizing contrast in quality and worth. Is the maker giving you equipment that will keep going for quite some time or 30 years? The covering on the equipment will be one of the primary signs and has the effect in rust, so normal in muggy regions. Check for something like a G-60 zinc covering on the equipment.

Wind Opposition

On the off chance that you live in a high-wind area, you'll lament holding back on your garage entryway. The garage entryway industry set guidelines on wind stacks that an entryway ought to have the option to endure. Ensure the entryway you're taking a gander at meets neighborhood construction regulations. Ordinary garage doors as a rule can deal with a breeze load up to 35 mph, while others assemble one that is standard at 70 mph. Extra swaggers can build the breeze opposition on any entryway.

Guarantee

What amount of a guarantee would you be able to get? This is the place where makers will in general disperse in a rush. Many proposition one-year guarantees and restricted use guarantees, yet there is something like one organization that offers a lifetime guarantee on its item. Why should willing stand behind their item? At the point when you're putting cash in a garage entryway this ought to be a major thought.

While you might save $100-$200 in purchasing a less expensive entryway, you will really be paying more over the long haul when considered as far as the amount you spend on your entryway over some random period. As a rule you get a lot more noteworthy worth, by spending the extra $100 to $200 front and center. By and large, search for a garage entryway guarantee that covers moving parts for somewhere around 15-20 years, and that covers twist jumps on no less than 5-10 years or more.

Wellbeing

This is one more characterizing contrast among garage entryway makers. The business will in general be daintily controlled thus the scope of security alternatives among producers is very wide. Every year the Shopper Item Wellbeing Commission gauges there are huge number of injury related with garage entryway use. In 2001, for instance, there were an expected 17,000 occurrences identified with the garage entryway, many including kids.

The most widely recognized difficult situation is between area joints. A finger trapped in a segment joint can without much of a stretch be broken or cut off. A few makers have upgraded their garage doors to secure the fingers, by obstructing access and contracting the size of the hole in the joint. For some this is found distinctly on the more costly model, yet for no less than one it is all inclusive on all of its garage doors.

Track equipment and the link used to move the entryway here and there are likewise key. A significant number of the track frameworks, normal today, have expanding openings or capture focuses where a youngster can stick their finger however and can without much of a stretch outcome in a genuine physical issue in a neglectful snapshot of play. Set aside effort to consider the security elements of your family, particularly in the event that you have more youthful kids, before your finish your garage entryway buy.

Garage Entryway Opener

Openers are typically accessible with a belt or a chain drive and a ½ or 1/3 torque drive. Force is typically just a factor in picking an opener when a huge entryway is involved. Wellbeing guidelines started in 1993 necessitate that an entryway invert its course when something crosses the way of photoelectric eyes set up that cross the entryway opening - - a key security include. However, new principles to the side, numerous openers are as yet loud and convey restricted guarantees. Commotion can be a factor in case there is a room or room over the garage.

#Woodinville garage doors

[gojiro]

The Vinyl of the Day is ‘Ace of Spades’ by Motorhead, 1980. The fourth studio album by the band, it was their debut release in the U.S. Motorhead’s ferocious, loud proto-thrash sound appealed equally to punks and heavy metal fans, but in 1979 ‘Sounds’ magazine writer Geoff Barton coined the term "New Wave Of British Heavy Metal" (NWOBHM, not to be confused with NKOTB. At all. Seriously.) to classify a slew of newer bands such as Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, and Saxon. Motörhead — a band that resented being labeled anything other than rock 'n' roll — was placed in this new genre, which would go on to influence the emerging thrash movement that would include bands like Metallica and Megadeth.

In the 2011 book Overkill: The Untold Story of Motörhead, Joel McIver quotes vocalist and bassist Lemmy:

"..I like Iron Maiden and Saxon out of the new mob, and that's about it, really...We were too late for the first metal movement and early for the next one...Motörhead don't fit into any category, really. We're not straight heavy metal, because we're a rock 'n' roll band, which no-one knows how to market anymore.."

Which is absolutely true - I’ve always put Motorhead’s sound as leaning way more punk (but with way more hair) than what I grew to know as ‘heavy metal’, which I always categorized as heavy and kind of plodding. But this album and this band were influential to both hard core punks and metalheads alike. It's fast, punishing and not unlike white-lining it at 100 miles an hour on your Harley. Subtle this ain’t, just balls out rock and roll and one of the finest metal records ever made.

"Aces of Spades" is an essential, legendary punk/thrash/speed metal classic. It's full of fast, meaty riffs, great solos, toe-tapping drums, and catchy, gruff vocals. Almost every song on here (especially the title track, "Love Me Like a Reptile," and "We Are The Road Crew") is very catchy. And the album opening title track, which has a speedy, groove-y main riff, is world renowned. Other highlights include the wah-wah solo and shout-along refrain on "Fire, Fire," "Jailbait," "Dance" (which has a pair of tasty guitar solos), the X-rated "The Chase Is Better Than The Catch," and the famous, rhythmic, nearly dance-able "Please Don't Touch." All in all, if you're looking for great, groove-y, contagious and exciting speed metal, Motorhead "aces" it.

And of course, the whole thing is powered by the genius of the legendary Lemmy Kilmister. A true character, bassist Lemmy was the ultimate rock 'n' roll badazz. He digs his music raw, dirty, obnoxious, and driven, and so should you. His witty lyrics, alcohol-soaked yell, and swagger totally define this and other Motorhead albums. And his bass playing--sloppy, but fast and killer. Instead of just plucking away in the lower register, he uses it like a second guitar. Awesome. Fast Eddie's guitar playing is simple yet effective and energetic, and "Philthy" Phil Taylor may be one of the most underrated rock & roll drummers ever--he knows exactly what to hit and when to hit it, and keeps the tempo at appropriate levels of thrash 'n' burn. Genius, and easily the best Motorhead lineup.

At our church (which represents the TRUE FAITH) we burnt this band in effigy. Most of us wanted to abduct and actually burn the real musicians, but Father insisted that we couldn't. He said that the libruls in government passed laws making it illegal to burn sinners alive until they are dead and gone and can't corrupt our children anymore. He said we would probably get in a lot of trouble, maybe even end up in jail. I hate government!!!!! We've got to get it out of our lives!!!! This is an evil, bad awful band. They are a mockery of all that is good and righteous. I hate them i hate them. but I’ve still got to admit that this album rocks, and rocks hard, and that against my better judgement I really enjoy it. 

AllMusic Review by Jason Birchmeier

With the 1980 release of Ace of Spades, Motörhead had their anthem of anthems -- that is, the title track -- the one trademark song that would summarize everything that made this early incarnation of the band so legendary, a song that would be blasted by legions of metalheads for generations on end. It's a legendary song, for sure, all two minutes and 49 bracing seconds of it. And the album of the same name is legendary as well, among Motörhead's all-time best, often considered their single best, in fact, along with Overkill. Ace of Spades was Motörhead's third great album in a row, following the 1979 releases of Overkill and Bomber, respectively. Those two albums have a lot in common with Ace of Spaces. The classic lineup -- Lemmy (bass and vocals), "Fast" Eddie Clarke (guitar), and "Philthy Animal" Taylor(drums) -- is still in place and sounding as alive and crazed as ever. The album is still rock-solid, boasting several superlative standouts. Actually, besides the especially high number of standouts on Ace of Spades -- at least relative to Bomber, which wasn't quite as strong overall as Overkill had been -- the only key difference between this 1980 album and its two 1979 predecessors is the producer, in this case Vic Maile. The result of his work isn't all that different from that of Jimmy Miller, the longtime Rolling Stones producer who had worked on Overkill and Bomber, but it's enough to give Ace of Spades a feeling distinct from its two very similar-sounding predecessors. This singular sound (still loud and in your face, rest assured), along with the exceptionally strong songwriting and the legendary stature of the title track, makes Ace of Spades the ideal Motörhead album if one were to choose one and only one studio album. It's highly debatable whether Ace of Spades is tops over the breakthrough Overkill, as the latter is more landmark because of its earlier release, and is somewhat rougher around the edges, too. Either way, Ace of Spades rightly deserves its legacy as a classic. There's no debating that.

#show me your record collection #vinyl of the day #motorhead #ace of spades #lemmy kilmister #punk rock #thrash rock #heavy metal #80s music #vinyl #vinyl lps #vinyl records #my music #album covers

[lexideanna]

Best Electric Scooters for Adults 2018

Best Electric Scooters for Adults 2018

I trust we are as one on this, in spite of how prominent an electric bike for grown-ups may look, there is a high shot you will ride one soon. The reason? Individuals require a way to move around without boarding an auto.

The electric bike is a well known methods for transport for people who need to move starting with one point then onto the next in the midst of the substantial activity in each urban setting or simply have a fabulous time.

An electric bike for grown-ups is a durable, minimal, and profoundly versatile controlled bike that is really simple to utilize and keep up. It can be thought to be the Holy Grail of individual transportation.

Best Electric Scooter for Adults in 2018

A portion of the best electric bikes for grown-ups we tried figured out how to conceal to 20 miles on a solitary charge. On the other hand, one can utilize their feet to push the bike forward like a grown-up kick bike. You can likewise convey them if require be because of their overlay capacity and light (around 30 lbs) plan and you can also discover to read more about Electric Scooters in 2018 for Adults.

Is it true that you are searching generally advantageous, multipurpose, and off-road electric bike for grown-ups? After many days of testing a few decidedly investigated electric bikes for grown-ups, we prescribe the EcoReco S5 E-bike. This is a best collapsing electric bike. This bike is fueled by a dependable 36V Lithium particle battery which drives a high torque 270 watts engine. It was found to achieve paces of up to 20MPH and go for 20 miles on a solitary charge. This electric bike for grown-ups has a decent double suspension, runs noiselessly, and offers extreme back brakes on the off chance that one needs to stop suddenly. It weighs only 28.2 lbs and it can convey a man measuring upto 250 lbs (its weight limit). It can climb grades of upto 15 degrees and exceptionally agreeable in riding on unpleasant territory. This is a work horse.

On the off chance that you are searching for a standard, moderate, and foldable electric bike for grown-ups without much strange we suggest the SWAGTRON Swagger High Speed Adult Electric Scooter. This is a genuinely decent and less expensive foldable electric bike. It is lighter because of its carbon fiber outline (weighs 17.26 lbs) and convey a man measuring upto 250 pounds. Its energy ranges from 50 – 250 watts. In any case, its Rechargeable Lithium Ion Battery has an essentially bring down voltage (29.4 V) which implies lesser energy to the engine. Be that as it may, it conforms to the TSA for plane go as the battery is only 98.42 Wh. It does between 5 - 15 miles on a solitary charge. Sit tight for this, it has 5 speed rigging, front light and reflectors. Its working temperature is 32°F – 104°F. Recommended stature of the rider will be rider is 4'3″ – 6'6″. It comes in three hues; dark, white and purple

It is safe to say that you are searching for a grown-up electric bike that matches an all around nourished work horse? For the most capable (1000 watts) electric bike for grown-ups that can defeat any landscape and slant not overlooking the solace we suggest the Super Turbo 1000-Elite electric bike. This bike pulls up a chair, double suspension, effective engines (1000 watts), turbo choice (more power), enormous wheels for off-road, and fog light. This resembles a tractor on two wheels for anyone (weight limit 300lbs) going anyplace (15 miles at 27 mph).

Is it true that you are on a tight spending plan and you need a shoddy, fundamental, nonfolding electric bike for grown-ups that won't baffle you? We got you secured. The Razor E300 Electric Scooter for grown-ups will do fine for you. Check your weight, the E300 has a weight limit of 220lbs. Accompanies a 24V battery, 250W engine and can journey at 15mph. It doesn't have a front light and a LCD show (odometer). No spring suspensions and subsequently not appropriate for unpleasant landscape and soak inclines. Be that as it may, the pneumatic tires assimilate a smidgen of stun.

[voidkraken]

multiples of six!

Thank you! This is a bit long so under a cut

6. What are they like in motion–in differentenvironments, and in different activities? What causes the differences betweenthese?

Riobhan moves with a comfortable, relaxed confidence – not quitea swagger, but definitely something close. Riobhan almost never feelsuncomfortable or unwelcome, a side effect of growing up parallel to bothroyalty and crooks. That said, Rioban is a talented actor, assassin and thiefand as a result they are good at knowing how and when to blend in, taking onappropriate behaviours or otherwise fading into the shadows. Riobhan’smovements are graceful but not always smooth – Riobhan is exceptionally thinand bony and their natural movements can take on a jerky quality. When pickpocketingor sneaking, however, their movements are smooth and subtle.

12. How are they bodily expressive? How do theyuse nonverbal cues such as their posture, stance, eyes, eyebrows, mouths, andhands?

Riobhan covers their eyes (and, consequently, eyebrows, browand upper nose) most of the time when they’re away from home, so they relyheavily on body posturing and their mouth for expressions. They express withthe entirety of their body, and it’s generally a good idea to give them a good berthwhile talking so they don’t stab you with an elbow or knee. Their hands are anexception to this – Riobhan is a pickpocket and a cheat and they’re verycareful about when and how they draw attention to or away from their hands

18. What kind of person could they become in thefuture? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst,most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequencesmight they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

I know what path I have planned for them and that I want todiscuss with any dm I use them with, but I suppose a few ways of derailing themfrom that include:

- finding someone (beside their father) who they actuallylove and care about and could actually… improve, or at least change, who they are as a person

- for some reason remaining loyal to their queen. A largepart of Riobhan’s end game involves them becoming more interested in their ownpower so pretty much anything that changes that changes the end game

- beating them. If Riobhan dies or doesn’t achieve the powernecessary for their end game then it has to change

24. How do they present themselves socially?What distinguishes their “persona” from their “true self”, and what causes thatdifference?

Riobhan puts on whatever front they need to achieve whatthey want. Usually this involves a polite smooth-talker, though sometimes itrequires someone more innocent or down-to-earth. Their true self is much morecrass and conniving and holds other people in a much lesser regard than theirpersona suggests.

30. What is their preferred level of activityand stimulation? How do they cope if they get either too little or too much?

Riobhan needs a lot of physical and mental stimulation. Theyhave adhd and need to be doing something at all times or they get frustratedand annoyed. What “doing something” involves can range from fiddling with a fewcoins to racing through the streets to quietly plotting a new assassination.

36. How much do they rely on their minds andintellect, versus other approaches like relying on instinct, intuition, faithand spirituality, or emotions? What is their opinion on this?

I think, overall, they rely more on their intellect, but itdoes tend to be fairly evenly shared. When planning ahead Riobhan likes to dotheir research and consider the possibilities and options open to them, but inthe heat of the moment – whether that moment be a battle of swords or wits –they fall back on their instincts, albeit instincts informed by knowledge andexperience.

#riobhan #riobhan: character talk #Anonymous

[weepingpeanutkid-blog]

Donald Trump: The Businessman and Entrepreneur Who Has Redefined Politics

Donald Trump has dependably needed to manage rivalry. He was one of five youngsters destined to Mary Anne and Fred Trump and appears to have had no issue emerging among his kin. I figure that was an indication of things to come. Dissimilar to many favored kids who wind up squandering their lives and fortunes, Donald took the benefit of being destined to well off guardians and kept running with it. Trump turned into an exceptionally rich and extremely open figure in the 1980s. By the 1990s he was at that point an unbelievable figure in New York City, a town of incredible figures. In the principal decade of the 2000s the Donald turned into a reality indicate star as "The Apprentice" and later "Big name Apprentice" had an evaluations effect on TV. Continually rethinking himself, Trump has as of late exchanged his world show have gig and moved past his business realm to keep running for the Presidency of the United States in the 2016 decision.

It was nothing unexpected to a hefty portion of us when the Donald very quickly assumed control in a vast field of Republican hopefuls. A few people were stunned by his remarks about enormous national issues, for example, illicit movement and the abuse of veterans by their own particular government. Many anticipated his crusade would fumble in the wake of a few dubious tirades, notwithstanding, the exact inverse happened. Trump figured out how to hit a nerve with the American People. He was all of a sudden the leader as the main Republican verbal confrontation occurred. Despite the fact that he had no pretty much time than any of alternate hopefuls, Donald Trump figured out how to react to what had all the earmarks of being some exceptionally dubious inquiries with his own image of cleverness and swagger. Fox News supported the occasion which was seen by more than 24 million individuals and there can be undoubtedly the Donald had a great deal to do with those record-breaking numbers.

To comprehend Donald Trump you need to comprehend where he originated from. It began when Frederick Trump touched base in the USA from Germany in 1885. He wedded Elizabeth Christ in 1902 and that is the place his German foundation and his family fortune started. Donald's dad Fred Trump (who was named for Frederick) wedded Mary Anne Macleod (a Scottish outsider) in 1936. The privately-run company was Real Estate and the Donald demonstrated an early enthusiasm for his father's work. He viewed everything his dad did in business and gained from it. While living in Jamaica Estates, Queens, New York City, Trump went to the Kew Forest School in Forest Hills. He experienced difficulty concentrating on his school work and wound up being rejected. His folks wanted to set him straight by sending Donald to the New York Military Academy. It more likely than not worked on the grounds that Trump at that point went ahead to go to the lofty Fordham University.

Following a few years Trump exchanged to the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania where he graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Economics. That school was one of only a modest bunch that offered exceptionally respected Real Estate learns at the school level. A few faultfinders contend that Trump intentionally maintained a strategic distance from military administration amid those days as a result of his position in the public arena. Trump reacted to those faultfinders by pointing out that he had a high specific administration lottery number, which is valid. He likewise got two understudy postponements and was eventually pronounced unacceptable for benefit because of a punctured eardrum. That is normal and has been a reason that numerous others have been turned around the U.S. Military. In any case, Trump utilized his training and family associations with his own particular leverage. He joined the privately-run company in 1968 and turned into its head in 1971, that year he moved to Manhattan. Starting there on the organization ended up plainly known as The Trump Organization.

Trump wedded his first spouse Ivana Zelnickova in 1977. She moved here from what is referred to today as the Czech Republic. That union kept going until 1992 and delivered three youngsters: Donald Trump Jr (conceived in 1977), Ivanka Trump (conceived in 1981) and Eric Trump (conceived in 1984). In 1993 Trump wedded Marla Maples and the two stayed together until 1999. Their marriage created a little girl named Tiffany (conceived in 1993). Trump acknowledged his marriage disappointments for an affection for his work. In 2005 the Donald wedded Melania Knauss from Slovenia. Nobleman Trump was conceived in 2006. As of this written work Trump is as yet hitched to Melania with no open indications of conjugal dissension. Dissimilar to his initial two spouses she remains out of sight and maybe that is a lesson learned for the present Mrs. Trump: Never attempt to be as well known or questionable as the Donald.

Two of Donald Trump's first enormous arrangements were turning the monetarily strapped Commodore and Grand Hyatt inns into gainful elements. In the wake of getting a weighty Broker's Fee for the offer of property where the new Jacob Javits Convention Center was in the long run manufactured, Trump assumed control over the rebuilding of the Wollman Rink situated in Central Park. That venture had been tormented by work delays and kept running over-spending plan for a considerable length of time. Donald finished the reclamation in three months at no cost to New York City. Despite the fact that undertakings like the arena built up Trump's notoriety for being a quick agent, it was additionally exorbitant. By 1989 Trump confronted money related issues of his own making by conceivable over-putting resources into Atlantic City clubhouse and different tasks. This prompt business chapter 11, be that as it may, he never petitioned for individual liquidation.

Trump turned things around amid the 1990s and gave New York City astounding properties like The Trump World Tower (over the road from the United Nations home office) in 2001 and later built up the Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. He took after that accomplishment with more Trump properties in New York City, Chicago and around the globe. Trump additionally started to take advantage of his name by marking and authorizing it to everything from occasions and organizations to apparel, fragrance, chocolate, home furniture and even filtered water. He infrequently played money markets and won procuring a benefit of around $27 million dollars in 2014 alone. Trump's affection for sports lead him to purchase a USFL Team in 1983, quickly oversee boxer Mike Tyson and turn into a piece of different Professional Wrestling occasions. He is said to be an enthusiastic wrestling fan and close companion of the WWWF's Vince McMahon.

Trump dependably figured out how to keep himself exceptionally noticeable to people in general. Some portion of this obvious methodology implied showing up in "Home Alone 2: Lost In New York" in 1992 and "Money Street: Money Never Sleeps" in 2010, and in addition showing up on TV indicates like The Nanny, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Days Of Our Lives. At that point came "The Apprentice" unscripted television appear in 2003 which turned out to be so well known and persuasive that some school educators that show business courses requested their understudies to watch the show and clarify what they gained from every scene. I watched the show and urged my more established kids to watch. All things considered, it was free guidance and business preparing from a Billionaire: How would you be able to lose?

Excellence Pageants and Golf Courses additionally turned into a piece of the Trump Organization. In 1996 Donald Trump assumed control responsibility for Miss USA and Miss Universe challenges. Trump additionally possesses and works various well known and top of the line fairways in the USA and around the globe. When he turned into a confident for the 2016 Republican Presidential Candidacy he made remarks about illicit settlers from Mexico which the NBC and Univision telecom companies protested and they say that made them cross out their cooperation with Trump's "Big name Apprentice" TV show and Beauty Pageants. Trump says he is suing Univision for a large portion of a million dollars.

None of the contention he has caused has harmed his general fame among potential Republican voters. He now stands out of Republican hopefuls by twofold digits. Regardless of whether he has arranged this or is essentially winging it, nothing the Donald has done as such far is by all accounts ready to shield him from being a Presidential Candidate in 2016. Regardless, Trump has figured out how to complement the positive and clarify away any negatives throughout his life up until this point. Like most New Yorkers his talks his psyche and goes up against all comers. As a kindred New Yorker I can state that in New York City disappointment is impossible and Trump has spent his life demonstrating that very actuality. It stays to be checked whether he can stay at the highest point of the political load. That all relies upon his capacity to clarify, in detail, precisely how he can take care of so huge numbers of the issues Americans confront. Stay tuned.

[readbookywooks]

MR. TOAD

It was a bright morning in the early part of summer; the river had resumed its wonted banks and its accustomed pace, and a hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green and bushy and spiky up out of the earth towards him, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, very busy on matters connected with boats and the opening of the boating season; painting and varnishing, mending paddles, repairing cushions, hunting for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and were finishing breakfast in their little parlour and eagerly discussing their plans for the day, when a heavy knock sounded at the door.

`Bother!' said the Rat, all over egg. `See who it is, Mole, like a good chap, since you've finished.'

The Mole went to attend the summons, and the Rat heard him utter a cry of surprise. Then he flung the parlour door open, and announced with much importance, `Mr. Badger!'

This was a wonderful thing, indeed, that the Badger should pay a formal call on them, or indeed on anybody. He generally had to be caught, if you wanted him badly, as he slipped quietly along a hedgerow of an early morning or a late evening, or else hunted up in his own house in the middle of the Wood, which was a serious undertaking.

The Badger strode heavily into the room, and stood looking at the two animals with an expression full of seriousness. The Rat let his egg-spoon fall on the table-cloth, and sat open-mouthed.

`The hour has come!' said the Badger at last with great solemnity.

`What hour?' asked the Rat uneasily, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.

`WHOSE hour, you should rather say,' replied the Badger. `Why, Toad's hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would take him in hand as soon as the winter was well over, and I'm going to take him in hand to-day!'

`Toad's hour, of course!' cried the Mole delightedly. `Hooray! I remember now! WE'LL teach him to be a sensible Toad!'

`This very morning,' continued the Badger, taking an arm-chair, `as I learnt last night from a trustworthy source, another new and exceptionally powerful motor-car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. At this very moment, perhaps, Toad is busy arraying himself in those singularly hideous habiliments so dear to him, which transform him from a (comparatively) good-looking Toad into an Object which throws any decent-minded animal that comes across it into a violent fit. We must be up and doing, ere it is too late. You two animals will accompany me instantly to Toad Hall, and the work of rescue shall be accomplished.'

`Right you are!' cried the Rat, starting up. `We'll rescue the poor unhappy animal! We'll convert him! He'll be the most converted Toad that ever was before we've done with him!'

They set off up the road on their mission of mercy, Badger leading the way. Animals when in company walk in a proper and sensible manner, in single file, instead of sprawling all across the road and being of no use or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.

They reached the carriage-drive of Toad Hall to find, as the Badger had anticipated, a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red (Toad's favourite colour), standing in front of the house. As they neared the door it was flung open, and Mr. Toad, arrayed in goggles, cap, gaiters, and enormous overcoat, came swaggering down the steps, drawing on his gauntleted gloves.

`Hullo! come on, you fellows!' he cried cheerfully on catching sight of them. `You're just in time to come with me for a jolly--to come for a jolly--for a--er--jolly----'

His hearty accents faltered and fell away as he noticed the stern unbending look on the countenances of his silent friends, and his invitation remained unfinished.

The Badger strode up the steps. `Take him inside,' he said sternly to his companions. Then, as Toad was hustled through the door, struggling and protesting, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new motor-car.

`I'm afraid you won't be wanted to-day,' he said. `Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He will not require the car. Please understand that this is final. You needn't wait.' Then he followed the others inside and shut the door.

`Now then!' he said to the Toad, when the four of them stood together in the Hall, `first of all, take those ridiculous things off!'

`Shan't!' replied Toad, with great spirit. `What is the meaning of this gross outrage? I demand an instant explanation.'

`Take them off him, then, you two,' ordered the Badger briefly.

They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling all sorts of names, before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole got his motor-clothes off him bit by bit, and they stood him up on his legs again. A good deal of his blustering spirit seemed to have evaporated with the removal of his fine panoply. Now that he was merely Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled feebly and looked from one to the other appealingly, seeming quite to understand the situation.

`You knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad,' the Badger explained severely.

You've disregarded all the warnings we've given you, you've gone on squandering the money your father left you, and you're getting us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving and your smashes and your rows with the police. Independence is all very well, but we animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit; and that limit you've reached. Now, you're a good fellow in many respects, and I don't want to be too hard on you. I'll make one more effort to bring you to reason. You will come with me into the smoking-room, and there you will hear some facts about yourself; and we'll see whether you come out of that room the same Toad that you went in.'

He took Toad firmly by the arm, led him into the smoking-room, and closed the door behind them.

`THAT'S no good!' said the Rat contemptuously. `TALKING to Toad'll never cure him. He'll SAY anything.'

They made themselves comfortable in armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door they could just hear the long continuous drone of the Badger's voice, rising and falling in waves of oratory; and presently they noticed that the sermon began to be punctuated at intervals by long-drawn sobs, evidently proceeding from the bosom of Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate fellow, very easily converted--for the time being-- to any point of view.

After some three-quarters of an hour the door opened, and the Badger reappeared, solemnly leading by the paw a very limp and dejected Toad. His skin hung baggily about him, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were furrowed by the tears so plentifully called forth by the Badger's moving discourse.

`Sit down there, Toad,' said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. `My friends,' he went on, `I am pleased to inform you that Toad has at last seen the error of his ways. He is truly sorry for his misguided conduct in the past, and he has undertaken to give up motor-cars entirely and for ever. I have his solemn promise to that effect.'

`That is very good news,' said the Mole gravely.

`Very good news indeed,' observed the Rat dubiously, `if only-- IF only----'

He was looking very hard at Toad as he said this, and could not help thinking he perceived something vaguely resembling a twinkle in that animal's still sorrowful eye.

`There's only one thing more to be done,' continued the gratified Badger. `Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me in the smoking-room just now. First, you are sorry for what you've done, and you see the folly of it all?'

There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.

`No!' he said, a little sullenly, but stoutly; `I'm NOT sorry. And it wasn't folly at all! It was simply glorious!'

`What?' cried the Badger, greatly scandalised. `You backsliding animal, didn't you tell me just now, in there----'

`Oh, yes, yes, in THERE,' said Toad impatiently. `I'd have said anything in THERE. You're so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and put all your points so frightfully well--you can do what you like with me in THERE, and you know it. But I've been searching my mind since, and going over things in it, and I find that I'm not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it's no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?'

`Then you don't promise,' said the Badger, `never to touch a motor-car again?'

`Certainly not!' replied Toad emphatically. `On the contrary, I faithfully promise that the very first motor-car I see, poop- poop! off I go in it!'

`Told you so, didn't I?' observed the Rat to the Mole.

`Very well, then,' said the Badger firmly, rising to his feet. `Since you won't yield to persuasion, we'll try what force can do. I feared it would come to this all along. You've often asked us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in this handsome house of yours; well, now we're going to. When we've converted you to a proper point of view we may quit, but not before. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him up in his bedroom, while we arrange matters between ourselves.'

`It's for your own good, Toady, you know,' said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was hauled up the stairs by his two faithful friends. `Think what fun we shall all have together, just as we used to, when you've quite got over this-- this painful attack of yours!'

`We'll take great care of everything for you till you're well, Toad,' said the Mole; `and we'll see your money isn't wasted, as it has been.'

`No more of those regrettable incidents with the police, Toad,' said the Rat, as they thrust him into his bedroom.

`And no more weeks in hospital, being ordered about by female nurses, Toad,' added the Mole, turning the key on him.

They descended the stair, Toad shouting abuse at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then met in conference on the situation.

`It's going to be a tedious business,' said the Badger, sighing. `I've never seen Toad so determined. However, we will see it out. He must never be left an instant unguarded. We shall have to take it in turns to be with him, till the poison has worked itself out of his system.'

They arranged watches accordingly. Each animal took it in turns to sleep in Toad's room at night, and they divided the day up between them. At first Toad was undoubtedly very trying to his careful guardians. When his violent paroxysms possessed him he would arrange bedroom chairs in rude resemblance of a motor-car and would crouch on the foremost of them, bent forward and staring fixedly ahead, making uncouth and ghastly noises, till the climax was reached, when, turning a complete somersault, he would lie prostrate amidst the ruins of the chairs, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. As time passed, however, these painful seizures grew gradually less frequent, and his friends strove to divert his mind into fresh channels. But his interest in other matters did not seem to revive, and he grew apparently languid and depressed.

One fine morning the Rat, whose turn it was to go on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, whom he found fidgeting to be off and stretch his legs in a long ramble round his wood and down his earths and burrows. `Toad's still in bed,' he told the Rat, outside the door. `Can't get much out of him, except, "O leave him alone, he wants nothing, perhaps he'll be better presently, it may pass off in time, don't be unduly anxious," and so on. Now, you look out, Rat! When Toad's quiet and submissive and playing at being the hero of a Sunday-school prize, then he's at his artfullest. There's sure to be something up. I know him. Well, now, I must be off.'

`How are you to-day, old chap?' inquired the Rat cheerfully, as he approached Toad's bedside.

He had to wait some minutes for an answer. At last a feeble voice replied, `Thank you so much, dear Ratty! So good of you to inquire! But first tell me how you are yourself, and the excellent Mole?'

`O, WE'RE all right,' replied the Rat. `Mole,' he added incautiously, `is going out for a run round with Badger. They'll be out till luncheon time, so you and I will spend a pleasant morning together, and I'll do my best to amuse you. Now jump up, there's a good fellow, and don't lie moping there on a fine morning like this!'

`Dear, kind Rat,' murmured Toad, `how little you realise my condition, and how very far I am from "jumping up" now--if ever! But do not trouble about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I do not expect to be one much longer. Indeed, I almost hope not.'

`Well, I hope not, too,' said the Rat heartily. `You've been a fine bother to us all this time, and I'm glad to hear it's going to stop. And in weather like this, and the boating season just beginning! It's too bad of you, Toad! It isn't the trouble we mind, but you're making us miss such an awful lot.'

`I'm afraid it IS the trouble you mind, though,' replied the Toad languidly. `I can quite understand it. It's natural enough. You're tired of bothering about me. I mustn't ask you to do anything further. I'm a nuisance, I know.'

`You are, indeed,' said the Rat. `But I tell you, I'd take any trouble on earth for you, if only you'd be a sensible animal.'

`If I thought that, Ratty,' murmured Toad, more feebly than ever, `then I would beg you--for the last time, probably--to step round to the village as quickly as possible--even now it may be too late--and fetch the doctor. But don't you bother. It's only a trouble, and perhaps we may as well let things take their course.'

`Why, what do you want a doctor for?' inquired the Rat, coming closer and examining him. He certainly lay very still and flat, and his voice was weaker and his manner much changed.

`Surely you have noticed of late----' murmured Toad. `But, no-- why should you? Noticing things is only a trouble. To-morrow, indeed, you may be saying to yourself, "O, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!" But no; it's a trouble. Never mind--forget that I asked.'

`Look here, old man,' said the Rat, beginning to get rather alarmed, `of course I'll fetch a doctor to you, if you really think you want him. But you can hardly be bad enough for that yet. Let's talk about something else.'

`I fear, dear friend,' said Toad, with a sad smile, `that "talk" can do little in a case like this--or doctors either, for that matter; still, one must grasp at the slightest straw. And, by the way--while you are about it--I HATE to give you additional trouble, but I happen to remember that you will pass the door-- would you mind at the same time asking the lawyer to step up? It would be a convenience to me, and there are moments--perhaps I should say there is A moment--when one must face disagreeable tasks, at whatever cost to exhausted nature!'

`A lawyer! O, he must be really bad!' the affrighted Rat said to himself, as he hurried from the room, not forgetting, however, to lock the door carefully behind him.

Outside, he stopped to consider. The other two were far away, and he had no one to consult.

`It's best to be on the safe side,' he said, on reflection. `I've known Toad fancy himself frightfully bad before, without the slightest reason; but I've never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there's nothing really the matter, the doctor will tell him he's an old ass, and cheer him up; and that will be something gained. I'd better humour him and go; it won't take very long.' So he ran off to the village on his errand of mercy.

The Toad, who had hopped lightly out of bed as soon as he heard the key turned in the lock, watched him eagerly from the window till he disappeared down the carriage-drive. Then, laughing heartily, he dressed as quickly as possible in the smartest suit he could lay hands on at the moment, filled his pockets with cash which he took from a small drawer in the dressing-table, and next, knotting the sheets from his bed together and tying one end of the improvised rope round the central mullion of the handsome Tudor window which formed such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid lightly to the ground, and, taking the opposite direction to the Rat, marched off lightheartedly, whistling a merry tune.

It was a gloomy luncheon for Rat when the Badger and the Mole at length returned, and he had to face them at table with his pitiful and unconvincing story. The Badger's caustic, not to say brutal, remarks may be imagined, and therefore passed over; but it was painful to the Rat that even the Mole, though he took his friend's side as far as possible, could not help saying, `You've been a bit of a duffer this time, Ratty! Toad, too, of all animals!'

`He did it awfully well,' said the crestfallen Rat.

`He did YOU awfully well!' rejoined the Badger hotly. `However, talking won't mend matters. He's got clear away for the time, that's certain; and the worst of it is, he'll be so conceited with what he'll think is his cleverness that he may commit any folly. One comfort is, we're free now, and needn't waste any more of our precious time doing sentry-go. But we'd better continue to sleep at Toad Hall for a while longer. Toad may be brought back at any moment--on a stretcher, or between two policemen.'

So spoke the Badger, not knowing what the future held in store, or how much water, and of how turbid a character, was to run under bridges before Toad should sit at ease again in his ancestral Hall.

Meanwhile, Toad, gay and irresponsible, was walking briskly along the high road, some miles from home. At first he had taken by- paths, and crossed many fields, and changed his course several times, in case of pursuit; but now, feeling by this time safe from recapture, and the sun smiling brightly on him, and all Nature joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise that his own heart was singing to him, he almost danced along the road in his satisfaction and conceit.

`Smart piece of work that!' he remarked to himself chuckling. `Brain against brute force--and brain came out on the top--as it's bound to do. Poor old Ratty! My! won't he catch it when the Badger gets back! A worthy fellow, Ratty, with many good qualities, but very little intelligence and absolutely no education. I must take him in hand some day, and see if I can make something of him.'

Filled full of conceited thoughts such as these he strode along, his head in the air, till he reached a little town, where the sign of `The Red Lion,' swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he had not breakfasted that day, and that he was exceedingly hungry after his long walk. He marched into the Inn, ordered the best luncheon that could be provided at so short a notice, and sat down to eat it in the coffee-room.

He was about half-way through his meal when an only too familiar sound, approaching down the street, made him start and fall a- trembling all over. The poop-poop! drew nearer and nearer, the car could be heard to turn into the inn-yard and come to a stop, and Toad had to hold on to the leg of the table to conceal his over-mastering emotion. Presently the party entered the coffee-room, hungry, talkative, and gay, voluble on their experiences of the morning and the merits of the chariot that had brought them along so well. Toad listened eagerly, all ears, for a time; at last he could stand it no longer. He slipped out of the room quietly, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he got outside sauntered round quietly to the inn-yard. `There cannot be any harm,' he said to himself, `in my only just LOOKING at it!'

The car stood in the middle of the yard, quite unattended, the stable-helps and other hangers-on being all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly round it, inspecting, criticising, musing deeply.

`I wonder,' he said to himself presently, `I wonder if this sort of car STARTS easily?'

Next moment, hardly knowing how it came about, he found he had hold of the handle and was turning it. As the familiar sound broke forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely mastered him, body and soul. As if in a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in the driver's seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car round the yard and out through the archway; and, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious consequences, seemed temporarily suspended. He increased his pace, and as the car devoured the street and leapt forth on the high road through the open country, he was only conscious that he was Toad once more, Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller, the Lord of the lone trail, before whom all must give way or be smitten into nothingness and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew, and the car responded with sonorous drone; the miles were eaten up under him as he sped he knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living his hour, reckless of what might come to him.

`To my mind,' observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, `the ONLY difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn't any.'

The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. `Some people would consider,' he observed, `that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of cheek, judging by what we've heard from the witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more myself--those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen years----'

`First-rate!' said the Chairman.

`--So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side,' concluded the Clerk.

`An excellent suggestion!' said the Chairman approvingly. `Prisoner! Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It's going to be twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very seriously!'

Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking, praying, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when one is merely `wanted,' assailed him with jeers, carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in a horrid, sarcastic way, because that is as much as a sentry on his post dare do to show his contempt and abhorrence of crime; up time-worn winding stairs, past men-at-arms in casquet and corselet of steel, darting threatening looks through their vizards; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leash and pawed the air to get at him; past ancient warders, their halberds leant against the wall, dozing over a pasty and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the rack-chamber and the thumbscrew-room, past the turning that led to the private scaffold, till they reached the door of the grimmest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they paused, where an ancient gaoler sat fingering a bunch of mighty keys.

`Oddsbodikins!' said the sergeant of police, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. `Rouse thee, old loon, and take over from us this vile Toad, a criminal of deepest guilt and matchless artfulness and resource. Watch and ward him with all thy skill; and mark thee well, greybeard, should aught untoward befall, thy old head shall answer for his--and a murrain on both of them!'

The gaoler nodded grimly, laying his withered hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key creaked in the lock, the great door clanged behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon of the best-guarded keep of the stoutest castle in all the length and breadth of Merry England.

#WindInTheWillows