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lia-jones · 3 years

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Growing Together - Chapter Eleven - Bonding Over Crickets

We stood before the old wooden doors, holding hands.

“We don’t have to decide anything yet.” Victor squeezed my shoulder. “We will just get some information.”

“I know.” I took a deep breath.

“Ready?” He gave me a loving smile.

“As I will ever be.” I offered him a weak smile in return.

He rang the doorbell, taking a step backward, his hand holding mine.

We were greeted by an old lady, with grey hair held up in a careful bun, deep wrinkles framing blue eyes.

“Victor! So nice to see you!” She took Victor’s hand, shaking it. “And you must be Andrea! Nice meeting you!”

“Andrea, this is Miss Dillon, the orphanage director.” Victor introduced us. I smiled, shaking her hand.

We were led into an old corridor, leading to what I suspected was her office. Inside, a table with tea and cookies was waiting for us.

“Sit down, let me serve you some tea.” She took the teapot, filling our cups. “So, Andrea, Victor tells me you would like to adopt a child.”

“We want to know more about the process, yes.” I said, taking the steamy cup from the table.

“It would be fairly easy, to be honest.” She sat down, her hands moving as she spoke. “Firstly, we have some standard procedures before we even introduce you to a child, like background checks, a full course you need to attend, a few sessions with a counselor. But I think, in your particular case, we can forgo all of those. Victor has been a good friend of ours for quite some time, and I think I know him long enough to know he is a good man and an excellent candidate for an adoptive parent. And knowing his standards, I can only assume you are no less than a remarkable woman.”

“To say the very least.” He smiled at me, taking my hand, and I let out the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

“I can see that.” Miss Dillon smiled. “Which is why I think you are good candidates to go straight to referral. What kind of child do you think would be the best fit for your home?”

“We haven’t really discussed it…” I hesitated, looking at Victor. “But maybe the younger the better, for a better adaptation?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Very well. I will look into our files to see what we have that we can refer to you, and then we’ll set up a meeting.”

“So, what’s it like?” I fidgeted in my seat. “We spend time with this child and see how it goes?”

“Exactly. You interact with the child to see if there’s a bond.” The director nodded.

“But… What if there is no bond?” I started to panic slightly. “What do you say to that child? I’m sorry, but they didn’t want you ?”

“Well, you don’t exactly disclose to the child what’s happening…” The director hesitated.

“Sure, but they know, right? They are children but they are not idiots! What if we don’t feel anything? What if the child doesn’t like us? Do we adopt her against her will? How does that happen?” My hand flew to my forehead, Victor catching it midair and squeezing it.

“Listen, there is no right method to do this.” Miss Dillon leaned on her desk, speaking to us with a knowing soft voice. “Trust me, we have tried several. This is the one that brings less anxiety to the children. Of course, there is the chance of refusal from one or both parts, but I don’t want you to consider the worst already. Just the fact that you are considering the child’s feelings tells me you won’t refuse any child, and any child will feel it too.” She gave me a soft smile. “We will be contacting you shortly. Just come with an open heart. You will do fine.”

Two days later, Victor got a phone call from the orphanage, saying that they had found a good match for us: a three-year-old girl whose parents had died in a tragic accident, without any known relatives. We scheduled a meeting for Sunday afternoon, and we bought a ragdoll to give her.

Victor seemed calm and patient with the whole thing. I was a bundle of nerves.

“I mean, this girl has some recollection of her parents.” I spoke from the walk-in closet, as I changed into a dress. “Can you imagine being so young, living with a happy family, and then being told you will never see your parents again, but Hey, here’s a brand new set of parents for you, they have actually no idea of what they are doing ? She’s going to resent us on principle alone. She wants her mother, not me.”

“Firstly, I don’t think they will be telling her that.” Victor walked in to pick a tie. “Second, remember what Miss Dillon told you? Just go with an open heart and you’ll do fine. These children are mostly starving for affection and in need of a good home.” He came to me, holding my chin, making me face him. “Besides, I know any child will love you. Just show them that warm smile of yours.”

“What if I don’t like her for some reason? What then?” I sat down to put on my shoes. “What if I find I don’t have a maternal instinct? That I am better off not being a mother anyway?”

Victor kneeled in front of me, holding my shoulders, a slightly worried look in his eyes.

“Why are you actively creating scenarios in which things go wrong? Do you not want to do this?”

“I do… I just…” I trailed off with a sigh. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being incredibly hard. I’m just afraid this won’t work. And this is our last chance. If we want to become parents, we need to do this right. How are you not nervous?”

“Being nervous won’t guarantee me success, quite the contrary. Besides, I’m not doing this alone.” He held my hand. “Neither are you.”

I would like to say his kind and wise words relaxed me, but they didn’t. The last time I had tried to become a mother it was only to get my hopes up and then see them crash down violently again. I wasn’t ready for another loss, I had just recovered from the last one. In retrospect, my intensive worry was my weird way of protecting myself in case it didn’t work. Should the worse case scenario happen, I was already protected.

It was a sunny afternoon, so when we arrived at the orphanage, all the kids were playing outside. We were told to wait inside, so our presence wouldn’t alarm the other children, while the girl was getting ready. We obediently stood in the corridor, waiting. Out of the blue, Victor got a phone call.

“It’s Goldman.” He read from his phone screen. “He knows I’m here, so if he’s calling it must be urgent. I’ll take this outside, send for me when they call for us.”

Awesome, just awesome. I was a nervous wreck, my palms were sweaty and I had lost my companion. I felt like a naughty kid about to be summoned to the principal’s office, the time dragging lazily. I looked at my wristwatch, only two minutes had passed since we arrived.

Trying to distract myself, I looked at the decorations. There were pictures of the kids in the orphanage taken every year, Miss Dillon present in every single one of them. It was clear that she was doing this for decades. In the children’s smile, a sad resignation, but a hope for better days. I could do that, I could give a child a happy life. I could give a child the dream of better days. And I would get those same days in return.

Lots in my own thoughts, I wandered through the corridor, when I noticed a small red-haired boy sitting on one of the wooden seats, holding a children’s book. Maybe I could talk to him a little. Victor was taking the longest time to return, and I was in dire need of something to distract me from my anxiety.

“Do you mind if I sit here for a minute?” I pointed to the seat next to the boy.

“No.” He didn’t even lift his eyes from the book to answer me, totally engrossed in the book. I read the title. It was the children’s book version of Pixar’s movie “A Bug’s Life”.

“That is an awesome movie.” I tried to make conversation, pointing to his book. “Do you like the pictures?”

“Pictures are for toddlers.” He scoffed, seemingly aggravated with my comment. “I’m already four, I am reading it.”

I was baffled. I chuckled to hide my surprise, hoping I wouldn’t aggravate him any further.

“Well, yes, if you’re four, you are certainly not a toddler.” I noticed the boy seemed pleased with my answer, the frown on his face relaxing slightly. “Who taught you how to read?”

“No one.” He shrugged. “I taught myself.”

“Impressive.” I nodded. “By the way, my name is Andrea. What is yours?” I extended my hand formally.

“Are you here to adopt a child?” He took his eyes off the book.

“I am here waiting to meet one, yes.” I answered, uneasy with his question.

“Then why do you want to know my name? You won’t see me again.” He looked straight at me, and that was when I really noticed his features. His hair was somewhat long and curly, and he was staring at me with sweet dark brown eyes that stood out from his very fair skin. I could see he wasn’t being defensive. He was genuinely curious as to why an adult thought of starting a conversation with him.

“Well, I could see you again.” I smiled. “If we were friends, I could visit more often, and we could talk about things you like.”

“Would you really do that?” His eyes seemed to be studying mine. “Would you visit me?”

“I would.” I nodded. For some reason, that idea excited me more than anything in this world.

And then it hit me. I was bonding with that boy. We were talking to each other for no longer than five minutes, and I already felt this affection towards him. And Victor wasn’t there.

“I’m Owen, Owen Cole.” His tiny hand reached mine, shaking it.

“Andrea Lee. Nice meeting you.” I melted with how adorable he was.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you!” I heard Victor approaching us from the end of the corridor.

“I’ve been busy making a new friend. Owen, this is my husband, Victor. Victor, this is my new friend, Owen.”

“Nice meeting you, Owen.” Victor smiled as the young boy formally shook his hand. “Andrea’s reading you a story?” He pointed at the book.

“I know how to read. I’m four already.” He explained to Victor, as he took a seat next to us. “I need to study hard if I want to become an insectologist. Better start now.”

Victor raised his eyebrows at me, surprised.

“You’re a very decided little man.” I complimented. “You know, when I was a little older than you, I would go to the forest next to my grandmother’s farm with my brother to hunt for crickets.”

“That is so cool!” His eyes widened. “Do you know that only males chirp, to call females to mate or chase away another male? They produce that sound by rubbing their wings together. And the females have their ears in their legs!” He laughed.

“Oh, I didn’t know about the ears!” I laughed as well.

“How did you catch them?” He asked, excited. “Did you use a special trap?”

“Just an empty bottle and some sugar, and a lot of patience. We would catch dozens of them sometimes. I can teach you how it’s done someday if you want to.”

I sense Miss Dillon approaching us with a smile, only to go past us without a word. Owen kept asking all sorts of questions and showing us what he knew about his favorite subject, which was in fact quite a lot. Victor would mostly listen, dropping a sentence now and then, apart from the time he shared his experience raising silkworms. When we noticed the time, it was getting dark, and Owen was summoned for dinner. We left him with another formal handshake and the promise that we would come back next week to visit him.

Back at home, I felt exhilarated, talking about how sweet that boy was, and so very enthusiastic.

“He learned how to read so he could learn more about insects!” I commented as I mixed the dressing into the salad. “That’s how determined he is. Reminds me of someone I know.”

“He’s a great kid, yes.” Victor smiled knowingly. “So, do you want to start formally visiting him for adoption?”

“What about the other girl we were supposed to see? Miss Dillon didn’t mention her when we left.” I frowned.

“Miss Dillon has been doing this for many decades. She must’ve canceled the meeting the moment she saw the two of you talking.” Victor replied as he finished setting the table.

I went to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, tilting my head to look at him.

“Well, this is not a decision I can make on my own, and you were mostly very quiet. What do you think? Did you like him?”

“I liked him very much, he reminds me of you.” He kissed my forehead as he caressed my hair. “You know, the curls, the sweet brown eyes… He could easily pass as your child.”

“Our child.” I corrected.

“Yes.” He smiled widely. “Our child.”

“So that’s a yes?” I beamed at him. “Or a maybe?”

“A solid yes.”

He chuckled as I threw myself in his arms, covering his face with kisses. Carrying me to the kitchen counter, he sat me on it and took me in his arms, kissing me deeply.

“Is this really happening? Are we really becoming parents?”I whispered, afraid that somehow fate would listen and make things go wrong.

“We are.” It was Victor’s turn to beam at me. “To a very special little boy.”

“Are you happy?” I made him face me, so I could see his expression. His eyes were shining.

“Overjoyed.”

“I love you so much.” My voice was strained, overwhelmed with affection.

“I love you too, my light. Thank you.”

He held me tightly in his arms, and I could hear his heart beating fast with happiness. We had been through a lot, but we had finally made it. We were becoming a family of three. The happy family Victor never had, and the one I had always dreamed about.

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