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lovefoolholland · 1 year

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about you - theodore nott x reader

summary: the train reminded theo of you. thestrals reminded theo of you. what did theo remember about you that wasn’t as heartwrenching?

warnings: angst, a couple of lines from little women (greta gerwig’s movie)

a/n: i can’t stop picturing theo as a the 1975 type of guy. like, he gives off matty healy’s vibes, you know?

English is not my first language!

The platform didn’t quite spark memories of you, but boy did the compartment he and his friends shared sparkle something.

“Theo!” exclaimed Pansy Parkinson, clearly confused by the looks on Theodore Nott’s face “Are you alright?”

That was an understatement.

“Indeed” he answered instead.

“You don’t seem alright” Blaise inquired, and Pansy gave him a glance.

“I’m just tired” Theo said, rolling his eyes.

“Tired of spending all summer thinking of Y/N, I’m sure,” Draco’s voice spilled like venom, and Theo turned to look at him with a dark demeanor in his eyes “am I wrong?”

“Shut up Draco” Pansy said, and then looked at Theo with an apologetic smile.

“It’s fine,” Theo heard himself answer “but you’re incredibly wrong. Apparition always tires me.”

No one mentioned Y/N again, but Theo could feel the tension in the air.

The compartment reminded him of the smell of freshly baked cookies, and how – somehow – you always managed to smell like that. You’ve mentioned before that you’d stayed over at the Weasley’s for a couple of days before going back to school, but it had never occurred to him until later in the relationship that cookies were something Molly Weasley surely did the morning her children (and her friends’ children) left for Hogwarts.

Now, he missed the smell and he missed having his head dipped into the top of your head while his arms tangled on yours as you read some boring book that had to do with the classes to come.

“We’re here mate” said Blaise when everyone but him had gotten out of the compartment.

“Thanks” he said, and watched as a bunch of students started walking towards the thestrals that always drove everyone to the castle.

He didn’t find you in the crowd.

He got up and got out of the train in order to get to the castle in no time. He didn’t want to keep depressing himself over his failed relationship and the memories everything in Hogwarts brought him upon with.

At least not until he saw your wild hair waiting for a carriage.

“Hey” he said, and you couldn’t help but jump in place once you saw him.

“Oh, hi” your voice was as soft as the day he left you “, waiting for a thestral?”

He stared at you for a solid minute, watching how you curved your hands in your robes and a shy blush creeped up your cheeks. He then nodded.

“Yeah,” you nodded along “how long have you been here?”

“Not that long” your voice came out squeaky, noticeably ashamed “I just got off the train. I fell asleep.”

“What?” he asked, quite interested now “Why? Didn’t your friends wake you up or…?”

“I was alone” you said, pulling your lips together.

Of course you were.

“Right,” he said, uncomfortable “we should probably start walking.

“We should, yeah.”

The two of you made your path down the castle in silence, both of you unconsciously thinking of the other.

Theo remembered the first time he got on one of these carriages. He was incredibly nervous, and that’s when a girl with a bright smile sat next to him and started asking him questions. Just… Asking. She didn’t know about his nerves, if anything, she was interested in meeting new people and getting to know them.

That girl was you.

Four years later, during the Triwizard Tournament year, he had told you about the Yule Ball during your ride to the castle and had noticed the way your cheeks flushed when Draco mentioned he was going to ask Pansy to go with him, pretty proud of himself.

Days later, he asked you, and you went together.

Now it all seemed like a daydream, a cruel, plain daydream he had the day he told you he didn’t want a relationship with you anymore. How he told you that anyway or another, you were an obstacle in his life.

How stupid of him.

“How has your family been?” you asked, head tilting towards him.

He frowned.

“Father’s been pretty busy. And mother's portrait has been asking about you.”

Of course he had to say that.

He looks up to you to find a startled, yet satisfied expression on your face. He feels as if hot porridge has been spilled all over his face and neck because he knows he has turned red out of embarrassment.

“Send them my greetings” you simply say before accelerating your pace “, come on, we’re going to be late for dinner.”

“Wait, T/N,” the lights of the path leading to the school flick a little, and you stop in your tracks as he reaches to you “how have you been?”

You open your mouth and then close it. It almost seems as if you want to tell him everything about your summer but… But you can’t.

“Good,” you say, and start walking, slower this time, to the castle “my parents have been pretty busy too. The Ministry is going mad over the news of the return of You-Know-Who.”

“Yes, of course,” he says, and then slightly smiles “did you stay at the Weasleys?”

He’s met with silence. You look at him with suspicion, and he notices.

“What?”

“What is the point of you asking these questions?”

He scoffs.

“Alright, sorry. I won’t be asking anything else.”

“No, Theo– I mean, Theodore,” your breath hitches in your throat “it doesn’t bother me. At all. You know it never will.”

He knows what you’re asking.

But why?

As the two of you step into the entrance of the castle and Flitwick tells you to register yourselves, Theo realizes why.

“I’ve missed you” he confesses, and notices you try to evade his eyes “, Y/N–”

You take a sharp breath before speaking.

“Stop it,” she says, and he notices the tears forming on your eyes “Theo, you’re being mean.”

“Mean?” he asks, eyes narrowing.

“Yes, mean” you emphasize in the word, and suddenly the two of you find yourselves right at the doors of the Great Hall.

Theo realizes neither has the intention of going in.

“I’m telling you how I feel, I don’t see how that’s mean.”

“No,” you say again, and now inevitably make eye contact. He instantly regrets, you’re on the verge of tears “you don’t get to say this, not after hurting me so much.”

“Y/N…”

“Not when I haven’t forgotten about you, not completely” you hiss, and take a step back.

Theo’s mind runs wild.

“You haven’t forgotten about me?”

The choice of words amuses him. How can you forget all that you’ve been through? From sleeping in each other’s arms on the train to the sight of you wearing captivating robes to the Yule Ball, dancing until the last song ran out.

“No, okay? I’ve tried, and I’ve tried, and I’ve tried, but I can’t” you say, tears sprinting down your cheeks as they turn red “I miss you on the train, I miss your arms around me, and I never know what to think about but…”

“You think about me” he finishes off, and takes a step towards you “, do you think I’ve forgotten about you?”

He knows you know that’s impossible.

You put your lips together tightly and look up at him with a frown.

“No.”

“That’s right,” he says, cupping your cheeks with your hands. He cleans the tears with his thumb “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”

You close your eyes once you feel his skin against yours.

He silently dips his head and kisses your forehead. You still smell like freshly baked cookies.

“I’m sorry.”

You simply nod.

He sighs and dips even more, sliding his hands against the back of your neck before kissing you more feverishly than before. Both of your heads spin as every student storms out of the Great Hall, and even a poltergeist calls you two out.

“I will never forget you,” he assured you “all I can think about… Live about, is you. I’ve never stopped.”

You smile and nod, opening your eyes and clenching him by the robes surrounding his body.

“Never let go, Theodore Nott.”

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