#there was so much mental fuckery and pain caused by this dude

[forbiddennhoney]

tbh snooping on my ex doesnt even hurt bc of him directly atp- im glad he's getting better and happier. what hurts is seeing ppl who claimed that no matter what they'd be there for us both who chose him bc he played victim so well

#like these ppl literally would be like omg we need to get to know each otehr better #and then when i would try to spend quality time with them he would insert himself or 'suddenly' have a crisis #and i would have to do damage control #to the point i snapped #and the first 2 times i snapped were angry and violent (suicide attempt and kicking him out almost 1y apart) i wont deny it #but like i immediately became the bad guy #nevermind all the shit he did to me! they immediately believed him cause he's a poor little white guy who is easy to infantilize #honestly this is the msot ive talked abt this here cause im STILL scared of him seeing my accts #i dont even think he'd do much atp but like the fact that i had to erase my ENTIRE online self to get away from him fully #cause the first time i didnt and he made Multiple accts to get me back #and preyed on the fact im a little gullible and was suffering from extreme paranoia #and its like..... ALL that is just scratching the surface! #there was so much mental fuckery and pain caused by this dude #not to mention the sheer number of times he'd try to kill himself in front of me so i could be responsible for his death #literally from when we met there was 7 attempts/ODs where he REPEATED that it was my fault #as early as when we first met he started doing that and i felt so responsible #like i do not deny homeboy was suffering in his own ways but the way he projected his pain on to #me has caused so much gd damn damage #adn the fact that when i had to LITERALLY run from him after the last one to the point i was thinking of moving across the country when #i left #and these ppl STILL shut me out after i refused to "just try talking to him bc he didnt mean it liek that #like what the fuck else does throwing a bottle at someone;s head and swallowing pills right outside their door after screaming at them bc #they had to either move into their dads or be on the street cause they couldnt trust the 'secured' housing after being homeless for a 1.5yr #bc he kept pawning ppls shit and stealing items from bedrooms and they couldnt handle being on the street AGAIN bc they were always #the fall guy #like what else is that situation supposed to mean! #what is it supposed to mean when someone who claimed to love you causes mental and physical harm to you when you try to explain #that you are TIRED of cleaning up their messes cause their messes ahve isolated you #that you need to live at home so u could actually finish ur degree even if home isnt much better cause at least its constant shelter to fin #the degree that he's been depending on u for and pressuring you to finish so u can get a job bc he was incapable of being sober for more

[crazyshipper67]

Okay now I'm going to add a little bit more to say you because I can tell Adam to be back to his fuckery and I need some wholesome sheets remind me that that it can be okay sometimes

I don't have any headcanons for teenage Joe, because I think it's pretty much Canon that he spent almost his entire high School career just pinning after cherry, and being low-key jealous of his relationship with Adam/Eve and that won't really change in this AU.

Basically Joe is being the best best friend you can be while also falling more and more in love with Cherry.

Now Cherry though I got some ideas. And how they run things at us when they're grown.

-He and Shindo break up and this AU because Cherry is gay and Shindo is a woman. And for while they do try to make it work they both agree that a straight girl and a gay dude don't really make the best couple.

-and cherry feels guilty about it. Because he's stuck in the mindset of if I really did love her I can overlook her gender. Because physically she is the same person and emotionally and mentally she still the same person. She just identifies as she. But Cherry knew that this mentality wasn't doing Eve any good with her dysphoria. And so long after his feelings for her and he still feels guilty about causing her so much pain while they're together. There's still best friends though don't worry.

-Now when they're older though they decide to split the responsibilities of 'S' evenly between the three.

- With Eve taking care of the legal things and making sure that on paper 'S' and abandoned mine don't exist. And she still works in government under her dead name because she knows it's easier to move up the ranks of politics and have as much control over the police as possible, if they think she's just a CIS male.

-Cherry takes care of all the technology , he makes sure that the lights, the cameras, the security system can all run of the officially as possible. And serious medicine that all the cameras footage goes to a heavily encrypted cloud that can only be accessed by Eve, Cherry or Joe.

-And Joe make sure that the people that are welcomed into 'S' are as non-toxic as possible like you are allowed to do whatever you want while you're skating but when you're off the board you need to be a decent human being. He make sure that there are no transphobes, homophobes skinheads, Nazis ,anyone who could bring a toxic environment to 'S' he wants gone and he makes sure of it.

-and don't worry anyone who's kicked out of 'S' has to sign an NDA that states that they are not allowed to talk about anything that happened while they were part of 'S'. And you better believe Eve has the lawyers to keep them silent.

That's it for now bye

#sk8 the infinity

[meme-sauce]

Hi! What are some other reasons you dont like thirteen reasons why? People tell me to watch it but idk im not really sure? Id love to hear the other side too. (Love your blog btw)

Hi! Thank you! I’ve gotten a few of these in my ask box so I’m officially answering this one, but it’s for everyone else who asked too. There’s a lot of anger in here but it’s not directed at you anon! Just the book. (Please keep in mind I have not watched the show, nor do I intend to, so most of these are based on the book. This will also contain spoilers.)

1) Hannah Baker is a selfish hateful bitch. I really hate the B word, but honestly, I dont know what else to say. All suicides are selfish honestly, but she killed herself out of straight spite. She even says that its for revenge. Yes, there were some god awful things that happened, but she destroyed her family, her future, and honestly herself just so she could get back at the people that hurt her. Pathetic. I had a friend who’s client killed themselves, and they were devastated. It wasn’t even a person in their family and they couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. I could never imagine butting my family through that just to get revenge, and make people feel bad for fucking me over. 2) Basing off that, Hannah blames everyone for her suicide except for her own damn self.  Every single one of the issues she talked about sucked, but they could have been solved in so many ways other that suicide (again, I can not believe someone would do that to their family and friends.). If she talked to the people, or went to a real counselor, or did fucking online schooling whatever, she could have avoided it. There so many options she could have taken to better her self, but she allowed what people had done to her to control her. She uses the tapes to show how other people caused her suicide, but her hand was always the one on the trigger. 3) Blame of other people brings me to my next point, which is basically the same as number two only more specific to the School Counselor. I honestly cant remember his name right now, Mr Porter?  I have no clue so Ill just call him SC. This poor dude. He’s just a school counselor, but suddenly he’s the most responsible for her death? She says on that tapes that he’s the only person standing between her and suicide. What kind of god awful burden to put on somebody?? Who fucking does that?? Tells someone they’re the only thing stopping them from killing themselves?? Gross people that’s who. And the real kicker is, she didn’t even tell him. She didn’t even tell him half of the whole story. She said there was sexual things that happened with a guy, didn’t tell him if it was rape or not, and when he offered solutions, she wasn’t open to them. The poor dude did his best, but when who you’re talking too won’t help themselves, there’s really nothing more you can say. He told her to move on, because she wouldn’t press charges or even talk about what happened, and she twisted his words into inspiration to kill herself. And in the book, they talk about how horrible he is for that!!! She tells him he can take the tapes to hell, Clay calls him awful or something. He did his best with what she told him!! And even then, it is not his responsibility to make sure she doesn’t kill herself. Yes, counselors should help, but saying he was the one thing standing between her and her death is???? Crazy??4) This takes me to my next point. Clay. Clay Clay Clay. This whole time, shes talking about people who wronged her, and Clay is wondering how he got on the list. So when it gets to his tape, I’m like “Okay cool maybe the Author will explore the grey areas in this book, and how even good people can do bad things, or about how people you expect to be good can really fuck up, accidentally or on purpose, or fuck maybe it’ll only be a little thing and the author can use it to show how even small actions can impact a person (I wouldn’t say to a point of SUICIDE, but just show the impacts)” but then the tape comes on and its “Clay you don’t deserve to be on this list. You’re the odd one out”. How, fucking, convenient. Our Hero Clay Jensen, who didn’t do anything wrong!! He is exempt from all of her hate so we can have a likable main character. Wonderful. I rolled my eyes his entire chapter. 5) OH Also! talking about Clay’s tape, let’s also talk about (again), Hannah’s absolute fuckery when it comes to dealing with her problems. Literally pushes away anyone who could help her. She doesn’t even want to be helped, and at this point, shes going to twist every damn thing someone says to fit her own self justifying agenda. She says people caused her suicide, but she caused it her self by allowing it to happen. She didn’t help herself, even when she could, and wont take responsibility. Also, she fucking traumatized this poor boy for the rest of his life by making him listen to all the awful things on a set of tapes “he didn’t belong on”. Fuck off Hannah Baker. 6) The book is plain unrealistic. This is less of a character thing and more of something I noticed the second time i read it and it just made me hate it more. First off, literally no one does that shit. No one gives a fuck in high school. if someone cares enough to tell everyone that Justin felt up Hannah on the playground, no one is gonna care enough to believe it. When was the last time you heard a rumor about a girl getting felt up and went  “ wow this must be true what a slut I hate her”. It’s also unrealistic in the sense of the way it portrays depression, which is very poorly and Ill get to that more later. When I’m depressed I can’t even get out of bed, much less orchestrate an entire guilt trip with cassette tapes. Also the fact that Clay knows every single person on those tapes and their backstories despite having very different social groups as them? I’m not buying it. 7) It’s portrayal of depression and suicide. It makes it seem like its this beautifully sad pain. No. False. depression is like,  not getting out of bed because you’re physically unable too. It’s not taking a shower for weeks. It’s crying at two AM for no fucking reason. Miss me with this “I began to see the beauty in giving up” bullshit. You want to show suicide? Show what really happens. the wreckage people leave behind. Jay Ashter or whatever his name is goes into it a little bit when he’s talking about how her parents left for weeks and how the school counselor looked when he found out, but thats about it. Mainly it talks bout why she killed herself and how other people caused it, but not a realistic version of what the aftermath actually entailed. People, especially young people,  might look at this without knowing the true consequences of suicide or impacts of depression and get the wrong idea; namely they killing yourself is a revenge tactic to make everyone see how right you are and feel bad about what they did. Depression isn’t romantic emptiness and suicide isn’t a way to get revenge. It’s a serious issue and it just felt so… empty.8) While I’m not 100% sure, I’ve heard that not only does the Netflix series show the suicide, but also a really long rape scene. Can anyone say Yikes. Lets create a show about mental health and things that cause it,and then not give a fuck how said show will impact viewer’s triggers and mental health. There’s more but this post is already long as hell so I’ll end it here. I’m not the best writer, so there are some concepts that may have gotten muddled and not thoroughly explained, So i apologize for any misunderstandings someone gets if my words aren’t clear enough. I think you get the concept though.

#Long Post #13 reasons why #Suicide Mention #Rape Mention #And if someone reads this and wants to hate me for it i dont care i hate the damn book