#this actually kinda sets things into perspective for me more too bc

[fumiku]

Chlonath wips

I have so many Chlonath art and fic wips… I am such a slow writer and I’ve had most of these written down for like 2 years, so I wanna share most of their premises now in case I never get around to them! For joy and prosperity and whatnot, if someone wants to write one of these just ask me first! Someone needs to feed the chlonath masses. My next fic is going to be the camping one I think~

My fave picks:

Your majesty: Despite his bright fiery hair, he was all too easy to erase, to fade into the background. Garish, but unmemorable. Talented, but lame. Chloe decides to change that, takes him on as a pet project as fashion coordinator. "Come on, look at yourself! That hair, those eyes. You were *made* to pop! Everyone’s eyes would turn to you when you’re in the room!" He flushes, was that how she saw him? "But I don’t *want* to be the center of attention..." She smirks confidently/slyly. "Well too bad! Chloe Bourgeois will make a peacock out of this ugly little duckling!". Much later there’s a much quieter, sweeter scene of him voicing not wanting to be that different or flashy and she takes out some accessories that suit and enhance his style, comfy and like him. Eventually oop! She rlly needs a date and it’d go with her pet project, "besides you could use this for networking". "Hm? Oh yeah, a half up half down ponytail would look cute on you, in a street kind of way. But bangs in your face can go for cool and mysterious too. It can give you some personality that goes with or contrasts with your outfit, I guess. But this *is* still a fancy event, so a simple well-groomed swept aside style would keep it prim and formal, and it *is* your first entry into high society... But I *suppose* if you do your big debut with the aesthetic you’ll keep with, it’ll probably help your brand long term, attract the right kind of contract for you right away-" "Wow, where was all this perspective when you were doing the analysis on the blue curtains?" She smirks, "I have more experience in keeping up appearances —and everything it entails— than you think, apparently"

Everything else under spoiler bc I have tons of prompts haha

Chloe becomes designer & coordinator, director, for marc & Nath’s comics! She loves outfit coordinating, set designing, composition etc. Marc handles the writing and Nath the drawing, Chloe helps with the visual design. It starts with Chloe suggesting lil things to Nath when she sees his drawings, like add a common accessory to all the team. And since she was queen bee she can fact check some things. He loses his sketchbook while walking and she picks it up, not in her usual mood, n she sees his sketches and starts rattling off about details and fashion. Nath: "oh I- I’m not very knowledgeable in fashion designing..." she looks him up and down, taking his garish outfit in. "That I could have guessed." He huffs, sarcastic "Well, *thank you*, Chloe. That’s not a half bad idea, I could ask Marinette for some designing help, actually!" He lights up at that idea. She grits her teeth, angry and snatches his sketchbook back. She starts drawing on another page and her drawing isn’t really good but the ideas? Wow, they work. Chloe knows her aesthetics. "Stupid Marinette would *not* know how to arrange queen wasp’s hair, thank you very much. Ugh, this is outrageous! Utterly outrageous! You can keep the changes, and keep your god awful awfully thought out designs out of my sight, next time!" With his open sketchbook shoved back into his hands, he stares down at it n truly appreciate it. Wow, this is some serious good job. He thinks about it, kinda smug, oh I can *definitely* play her. He starts leaving his sketchbook behind on purpose n she starts giving him more and more notes when sabrina isn’t around. At some point she comes to the art room and everyone is silent but she’s shy and makes an effort not to be mean. The art dude takes her a bit under his wing and she starts channeling her time n energy into art, peeps of the art room start tolerating her. She takes Marc under her wing confidence wise, and sabrina tags along and rediscovers a love for scrapbooking. Omll marc & sabrina besties qpr cuties?

Pas de deux: they have a random ballet class in PE and they get paired up for the project and chloe 1) wants a good grade for her dad’s rep 2) is goal-oriented 3) has much less barb when teaching. Also prob a sad side note about impressing her mother with ballet classes as a kid.

But Are the Curtains Blue or Just Your Tear-stained Veil: Nathaniel tended to notice things, notice people. To dissect them, as if they were a comicbook character. What was surprising about Chloe is that while her attitude was bolsterous and always seemed so heated, her eyes were like ice, distant. A deep blue, and curtained off, like she could not let anyone else see what they hid. But Chloe was mean and cruel, and sometimes, Nathaniel dug too deep at wasn’t there. Maybe, they were just blue. He always came back at the mystery of her, though, and was pushed and pulled in a one-sided dance with her like the come and go of waves. //Maybe they just weren’t any curtains, whatever that meant. Maybe he was making everything up. Tags: kinda like The Girl Of the Train tbh

Name ideas:

Buzz off

Sweet as honey: What chloe turns out to love in a man is how sweet he can be

Renaitre

Esquisse

Preen my feathers (peacock holder Nath + motif with Chloe & appearances)

Quick ideas:

"I’ve spent so long hoping to be saved, that it feels weird to save people."

Chloe realizes her mother will never love her, or even respect her. Everything changes. //She lets herself be and experience pain and failure

By fake dating chlonath can make adrienette jealous! A scene: chloe tightens her grip on his arm with a crestfallen gaze at adrienette, nath is like ...? and realize Chloe hated Marinette bc abandonment issues

Sabrina chews chloe out and is done with her when they were on an outing, chloe runs into the nearest building, a museum, to hide and cry her eyes out. She bumps into Nath, and a friendship goes from there.

Ever since nath learned chloe is queen bee, he calls her stuff like yes your stinginess.

Nath brings chloe to a emo concert to throw her off, all hell breaks loose. (She likes it)

Two works linked together, one from chloe pov about nath n the other vice versa. "It’s wicked how sweet you are" and "it’s sweet how wicked you are"

Impression, soleil levant: they have a run in in the museum. Chloe genuinely likes fine art. Nath likes popping color, lineart, contrast and stylistic appeal, more contemporary stuff. Chloe really like impressionism, it calms her down, she could spend a lot of time just watching a painting. When she was a kid her dad would bring her when talking business at the louvre so she ran off with Jean and she knows the museum very well.

Chloe’s dad keeps bothering her about rules and standards and finding a partner, so Chloe resolves to find the lamest lousiest boyfriend. To make a statement, of course, she tells herself so when her eyes keep flicking to the redhead sitting at the back of the class.

What better way to learn to be vulnerable with each other than ice skating, when you’re both awful at it? A date <3

She points out a panel with queen bee when he’s doodling it, she has no context she just chilling "why is her hair down?" Nath answers without missing a beat "It’s a metaphor for vulnerability".

Nath starts disappearing quietly to places more and more, now that he has a miraculous. Chloe susses him out. W-what?? How did you notice it? Nobody ever pays attention to me- Ugh, you’re *impossible* to miss with that fluorescent hair of yours. Well you’re the only person who pays attention to it, apparently. Hah, blame my superior eyes if you must. Well if *I’m* what your superior eyes choose to watch then- U-um, we’re getting sidetracked! W-what are you doing here! Reverse universe where she’s still denied being queen bee so she’s Nath’s sidekick? He doesn’t really have any friends besides Marc which not in this universe bc it comes before, so he wouldn’t have anyone else so lowkey he’s grateful. He notices her really truly changing for the better as they hang out more.

I dig my hole, you build a wall: As Chloe Bourgeois doubles down on being an irredeemable bully, Queen Bee continues to rise on a pedestral of adoration. It doesn’t help, nothing ever does, and it’s getting harder to make herself ignore how miserable she is. Chloe drowns herself in her superhero job, squeezes every drop of appreciation from her fans she can. Nath happens to be one of them, hardcore. She just needs someone to lean on.

26/11/‘22 Chloe gets akumatized into a dollhouse lover like with her teddybear mr cuddles, and she wants to kidnap some ppl and keep them like dolls to play with her and listen to her every want and choice of activities. Sabrina is mad at her so elle la boude. She picks Nath and they have a tea party isolated at Le grand paris etc etc. Maybe after Adrien cuts it off with Chloe so she freaks out amd wants friends, even if toxic controlling, but she’s not shooting for Adrien bc she’s upset at him and ignores him.

Outlined:

He forgets some comic pages behind, vs queen wasp, and goes back to get them and finds chloe reading them intensely, seeming genuinely invested. She’s lowkey having a panic attack n shoos off an akuma?? He’s shocked, but that requires introspection so in the moment he’s doubtful and bitter. She’s panicced and embarrassed about having been found out. He’s like, wtf was so upsetting about my comic?? Jealous of my art? Mad that something isn’t about you? Angry that I have talent and dreams, unlike you? she flinches. She upsetti "you wouldn’t understand." "Oh, try me. I have experience in being put down, after all." He bites coldly. She explains half-heartedly "Oh, here comes the self-pity." Her lips quiver, she looks down. "You’re right. It is self-pity. I’m miserable." The "and I have no one else to pity me but me" is muttered so quietly. Her fists clench, chin tucked in her torso. Then her gaze hardens and she snaps her head up. "Whatever." He blocks her way out. She grits dangerously "*Out*. Of. The way." Her eyes prickle with tears. He doesn’t even flinch "That won’t work today." She’s so close to snapping violently but instead just cries. Blabla "Yeah well, when you’ve dug a hole as deeply as I have, you can’t get out. Not without a miracle, anyways." She says, you could do one about queen bee next, please. N leaves quietly and he’s never seen her so... non-agressive.

Entracte/solo act: Picking on Nathaniel Kurtzberg when alone with him, Chloe found, was a much different experience than humiliating him in public. It turns out, he only unleashes his fury on the most deserving of private audiences. Notes: I headcanon Nath, bc of the reflekto ep, would stand up for himself more if he wasn’t being bullied in public. I feel like having all the eyes on him motivates him to shut up and try to make the ordeal as brief as possible & leave the situation, so when he’s alone and getting sass he has less qualms about snapping and ripping into ppl lol. Chloe goes to the art room and Nath is alone in it. He asks where Sabrina is, she rolls her eyes "She had *something important* to attend to." She goes to see what he’s working on and makes her snide remarks as usual but unlike usual he snaps and rips into her, she loses her haughty attitude real quick. The next time they make eye contact in class, she grimaces and looks away. He wins. But then she gets a fire and glares at him head on. Let the war truly begin. 

To Nathaniel’s and Choe’s horror, the class goes on a mandatory camping trip. It does not go well for either of them. "Um, I’m sorry mme Bustier but I won’t be able to come. I’m sick, yes, cough cough, how unfortunate." Bustier is not amused. She groans when it’s announced they’ll have a camping trip. Nath keeps his in, but for once they agree on something. Ugh.  Nath just wants to draw in his tent, that’s too much to ask??!

Royalties: nath finds out chloe is queen bee and threatens to tell it to everyone so that ladybug will take her miraculous away. In exchange for his secret, Chloe must praise him and his art on her social media, throw his name in at fancy soirées, become his "fan". To Nath’s surprise and Chloe’s horror, it backfires. Royally. Her "Nath is so cool" post was half advertizing half for public humiliation. Being the daughter of the mayor of one of the most famous cities in the world meant she has a lot of followers, quite a few in the elite sphere of Paris. The post’s a bit rebellious on her end because he doesn’t like her calling him Nath. Since Chloe *never* praises anyone and the tone was overeager/affectious, people start theorizing they’re actually dating. He takes the logical leap to be invited by her at an event, but as a plus one because it’s not her party to invite people at. Normally he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with a fancy party, but he begrudgingly has to admit networking is very important as an artist, plus he’d do it to piss off Chloe alone.

Vampire au!! Summary: Beyond her humanity, which Chloe had never truly cared about anyway, becoming a vampire hadn’t really, concretely, taken away anything from her. She was still rich, loved by all of Paris, and beautiful. And yet, she realized then that she had lost herself without knowing when.  //Chloe has been a vampire for a lil while, very upset. Mr cuddly is also a reminder of her past life. She longs to see herself again, she has had to keep out of the spotlight because she has no reflection and can’t be taken a picture of, she asks Nath to draw her like in Mirror, Mirror the awesome fic which I recommend! Nath finds out her new identity so he becomes tied up in it all, he’s the only one who knows so he becomes who she feeds on. "I can pay you. What do you want? A thousand euros per night? The latest drawing tablets? A gallery showing? Publishing deal? Just help me." Right from the start she feeds off from his neck despite his hesitance. She goes "a wrist? Are you kidding me? I settle for nothing but the best." But the reality is she just wants to feel close to someone, one time the bite turns into a hug crying session. -"... Does that mean my blood is the tastiest?" She’s shaken at that, "That- was *not* what I was implying. It’s not like I would know, anyways." She huffs n looks away. "Your blood is... satisfactory." He smirks, from her, that’s a huge compliment. He can just hear it in his mind "My taste buds are only the most refined!! I can tolerate only but the best!!" She does tell him he’s sweaty n stinks the first time tho. He has to hide his neck bite, ppl tease him about hickeys. At some point a classmate figures out it’s chloe that gives him his hickeys and Nath has to damage control and people start sussing they’re a couple.

No lullaby: No one liked her, but she could dream, couldn’t she? The delusions she lulled herself to had never really been dreams, but maybe to reborn anew she could find a lullaby in someone new, too. // based on the song No Lullaby by Siamés. Also La la la by Jason Chen Akuma that calls itself Lullaby, it was made because they have to move away from their parents or smth like that, so it lashes out and makes all kinds of kiddy & wholesome parenthood stuff. It turns people into happy kids/babies by tapping into childhood memories of parents(something like that), but doesn’t affect Chloe. Because Chloe never had her parents be around much, or them being much like parents at all. Chloe is fighting as Queen Bee, of course, in an AU where people know who she is but Ladybug still trusts her to want not to smear her family name by being a bad superhero. "I could be a superhero and my mother still wouldn’t blink my way... Oh, sorry, that actually happened, not much for an hypothetical." Everyone stares at her in shock. "What? I can have a smart vocabulary!" People look at her with pity and sympathy. "T-that’s not it..." Chat says. Anyways they’re fighting it and a lot of other miraculous holders get hit and she does too but is immune bc it taps into their happy parents childhood memories, meanwhile it’s only able to conjure up her plushie for her. Anyways so she gets swinged up to a rooftop where Nathaniel is sitting and drawing Queen Bee, he jolts and goes "Q-quee-Chloe?" but they don’t have much time since the akuma comes swinging in too and gets Nath under its spell. She carries around baby!Nath around because for some reason she feels a sort of duty to people she knows irl. She goes to the building the other holders are in or something but still ends up alone with Nath since everyone got affected, she panics as her miraculous beeps and she’s alone to fix everything, but Nathaniel draws with his fine art colored pencils like kids use crayons and does tons of kiddy imaginative drawings, and starts humming, bringing her out of her torpor. As the tune calms her, she does a “what would Ladybug do?”, "Ugh, I could have used Evillustrator right about now." She strategizes on how to break the spell over Ladybug for purification, and goes in to break the akuma item holder. When Nathaniel comes to, he’s mad to have ruined his pencils, now with blunt deformed tips, but then he looks at his sketchbook in utter confusion he sees pages and pages of kid’s drawings, recognizing his own infantile style, but the most curious are that some drawings include Queen Bee. His feelings are conflicted and he wants to know what happened, but dreads asking her, but he laughs at a drawing of him pulling her ponytail, and stills at the one of her hugging him. End notes: Next time Queen Bee gets swung onto his rooftops by an akuma, Nath jolts but responds to that adrenaline by crossing his leg over his other knee and raising an eyebrow over half-lidded eyes: "Somehow, I’m not surprised." You know, like sometimes when people flirt as fight or flight response lmao.

22/2/‘23 Chloe was trying really hard to be kind like a true superhero now, and with the birthday of her classmate Nathaniel coming up she would have to, painstakingly, do everything in her power to give him the best gift ever. One problem is, she doesn’t really know him, like, at all. She asks him what he likes. She thinks of supherhero stuff and art stuff. She doesn’t know about drawing tablets so she’s like, what about this professional drawing desk I’ll have my bodyguard carry? As if everyone has the privilege to have the space for a new furniture on a whim. She asks Sabrina for help like this close to a meltdown, maybe even Marinette: "The fool was in love with you, don’t you know anything about him that could help??" And then at the end shes like "omg. I can get him an interview with Queen Bee!" Ooh does she get akumatized with some gifter gimmick? Would be neat but naaah. Maybe two parts, idk what the end should be! Copic markers maybe

#chlonath #fanfic WIP #chloe bourgeois #nathaniel kurtzberg #Angst & fluff and the whole shabang

[claudemblems]

Heyo idk if requests are still open but I don't see a post saying they're closed so I hope it's okay that I slide in with an idea 👀

This may be pretty similar to the Sylvain & Kaeya request you just did so feel free to ask for a different idea lol but I wonder what you think about Childe and Sylvain with a reader who doesn't fluster easily and is just always like "okay buddy" whenever he flirts with them? Bonus points if reader actually likes him but is beating their feelings back with a stick bc they think that he can't possibly be genuine

Thank you for sending a request in! I actually just write with fem readers in mind but I didn’t use any exclusively female terms for these. I also tried to follow the same format as the Friends to Lovers one with just sets of headcanons. I hope this is all right!! I’m just happy to get another request like that one because it was super fun to write about :) This did turn out kinda angsty but I felt like it fit with the overall theme. It's time to make your hearts hurt LOL

Friends But...Not Lovers?

Summary: Childe and Sylvain try and fail to win you over, but what they don't know is you've been purposely withholding your own feelings from them, too.

Notes: I tried to make these a little shorter because I tend to write way too much lol. I hope they're not too short though. Also, each set of headcanons is divided into the boys' perspectives and yours.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Childe

Childe isn’t fazed at all by your nonchalant attitude. In fact, he finds it really attractive. He’s a man that likes a challenge, after all!

“C’mon, you’re bound to crack at some point! You can’t tell me you don’t feel a little bit bashful?” “Are you calling all that flirting? I thought it was just a really bad attempt at comedy.”

The thing with Childe is that he’s not satisfied until he wins, so don’t expect him to give in so easily. He’s persistent if anything.

Of course, he wouldn’t flirt so brazenly with you if it actually made you uncomfortable. He may do questionable things, but he’s not without morals.

Especially when it comes to you. He wants to keep you safe and happy, more so than anyone else in the world. 

Thankfully for him, you’ve told him before that his flirting doesn’t faze you and that you’d actually like to see if he could manage to successfully fluster you, which only spurs him on even more. 

It’s game on, and he’s not going home until he secures his decisive victory.

You

You can talk the talk, but that unbothered facade of yours hides something under the surface: your real feelings for him. 

Sure, you could try to imagine that Childe means what he says, but it’s hard to tell when he’s being genuine and when he’s playing a part.

Can you really allow yourself to be swayed by his words when one order from the Tsaritsa can steal him away from you forever?

You’re not someone to get involved in a relationship that’s doomed from the start. You don’t have the kind of thick skin you need to come out unscathed. 

Sometimes you wonder if all this is just a game to Childe, if winning your affections would just be another trophy on his shelf.

But you try not to think about it too much. It just leaves you confused and upset.

You can’t deny, however, that you truly enjoy his company. He’s unlike any other person you’ve met on your journeys. Being with him is a breath of fresh air in your otherwise uneventful life.

If the day ever comes where you’re faced with accepting Childe’s declaration of love or rejecting it…only time will tell if he’s managed to convince you of this lie, too.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Sylvain

Ngl Sylvain is actually very pleasantly surprised by this revelation.

After seeing how all the women he’s flirted with eat up any compliments he gives them, your unaffected deadpan demeanor is absolutely hilarious to him. It’s definitely a first for him.

“Are my methods of flirting getting stale or are you just hard to break?” “It’s a little bit of both.” “Ouch.”

This is all very interesting to him but also very confusing. Talk about being totally unprepared.

However, his inability to make you fall for him has actually made him head over heels in love with you instead. But how is he supposed to win your heart if his words don’t affect you at all?

On many occasions he finds himself staring off into the distance trying to use that big brain of his to come up with a way to convince you that he truly does care about you. Though, it’s really hard to come off as genuine when all of his prior relationships have been made of thinly-veiled compliments and surface-level attraction.

You’re the only person who hasn’t been wooed by his words, looks, or his crest. You’re that one in a million. An anomaly. The kind of person Sylvain has been searching for his whole life. 

And Sylvain will do whatever it takes to prove to you that he can be your one in a million, only if you’ll give him the chance to.

You

You wish you could tell Sylvain to his stupidly beautiful face that his words actually do have an effect on you.

But you’re afraid of becoming just another name on his list of women he loves for one week and discards the next.

Out of all the guys in Garreg Mach, why did you have to be in love with the resident womanizer???

Day in and day out you go back and forth in your mind trying to figure out if it’s worth giving him a shot. Having feelings for Sylvain is utterly exhausting. Unfortunately they’re not like an item you can simply exchange for another.

You do have to admit that it pricks your heart a little each time you see him being a little extra friendly with another woman. Was it it that they have that you don’t? Can you really compare to all of the ones he’s dated?

You hope Sylvain never has any actual romantic feelings for you. With his kind of history, there’s no way a relationship with him could ever last. But would it be worth it for that one small period of happiness?

Who are you kidding? He’s a man that has everything. Someone like you trying to win his love would just prove to be a lost cause.

For now, you’ll just have to settle with watching him walk arm-in-arm with another girl he’s confessed to, praying that the sorrow in your heart will one day begin to disappear. 

#claudemblems writes #genshin impact #genshin x reader #childe #childe x reader #fe3h #three houses x reader #sylvain #sylvain x reader

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

hihihi!!! i disappeared lowkey, but for the ask game, 7, 20, 46 and 55 if you dont mind!!

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

yeahhhh i know theres a lot of phrases that stand out to me while im writing but the only one i can think off the top of my head is "so incredibly [blank]". i use italics a lot too, maybe too much but *shrugs*. i fucking love using celestial themes too; talking about the sky or comparing characters to planets or the sun- shit like that is just sooooo fucking good to me i use it whenever i can. oh and polyamory! i can and will insert poly relationships into everything possible and if its not explicitly states, just assume its in there somewhere

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

character driven with a strong emotional flow

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

i think either party or cherri is my favorite to write at the moment!! party bc i love i project onto them sooooo heavily yes BUT ALSO because there's such a gap between how they interpret the things that happen and the things they do verses how they actually come off and i just fucking looooove exploring how that gap affects them. the way they spiral and they feel these things that they have no word for is just so fucking fun to me. plus theyre such a huge fucking drama queen its so fun writing them interacting with other characters cherri, on the other hand, ive always loved just for the sheer angst potential yk? like all the killjoys lives are tragedies in their own right, but cherri especially to me has just always been this character SURROUNDED by tragedy and but shes still filled with so much hope and love for the world and she keep holding on and its just so nice writing him bc she lives and breathes and thinks poetry and i love making that come across in descriptions from her perspective and i love thinking of new ways to cause her pain. also! out of the five poems ive written that ive Actually Thought Were Good For Longer Than A Month, TWO of them were written while i was working on fics from cherris perspective so. hes like magic to me <3 ive also been getting soooooo into writing kobra lately bc hes so fucking filled with this bitter anger all the time and i love exploring that- and i think my obsession with his was definitely at least kinda influenced by people's positive response to his first ttid chapter bc it really got me thinking more about his character

#asks #ask game

[torotornottorot]

Books read in 2023:

The secret life of bees (Jan 6) 4/5 (probably would have enjoyed it more when I was younger. Great overall but still the mammy stereotype. Don’t like it when poc women are portrayed as ~divine creatures~ we are just normal people and we just wanted to treated like normal people. Nothing more, nothing less. Too flowery and cliche at parts but still good overall.) 

I’m glad my mom died (Jan 15) 5/5 (funny and thrilling. Reading this would probably help a lot of people with toxic parents think through their own trauma) 

Evil Under the Sun (Jan 17) 4/5 (simple and entertaining. Not a masterwork of literature but satisfying nonetheless. A bit slow to get started but great overall) 

The hunting party (Feb 4) 4/5 (found hard to get into it/get invested because of unlikeable cast of characters but stil high rating for unexpected ending. I was bored a few times in the beginning and middle parts but it really picked up in the end and made up for it. Would make a great movie) 

Sparkling cyanide (audiobook) (Feb 20) 3/5 (good to listen to while doing other work around the house. Probably not worth it to take separate time out to read) 

Last bus to Woodstock (Feb 24) 3/5 (hated the main detective and how he went about the investigation eg. relying on instinct and chance discoveries. But the side characters were super interesting and the ending was unexpected. Would have liked it better if inspector Lewis was the main character. No decent female characters. Only wh*res or the "shrill wife." But the crime itself was interesting and I liked the writing style). 

And then there were none (audiobook) (Feb 26) 5/5 (Omg. I was in thrall throughout. My favorite Agatha Christie book I’ve read so far. I actually thought there had to be a supernatural explanation lol) 

The dark remains (feb 26) 3/5 (not bad. Just boring. Can tell it was written by a dude. Not one interesting character despite being set in the gang world. Very cliche type of noir) 

The Falls (Ian Rankin) (March 1) 4/5 (great buildup but disappointing payoff. Loved the concept of the quizmaster. Very likable the main detectives and very interesting plot. Sustains you throughout despite being so long. But yeah. Didn’t quite like the solution to the murder) 

Wire in the blood (March 22) 5/5 (excellent. Gory but excellent. What a plot!) 

The distant echo (March 30) 5/5 (omg. If someone asks me what’s your favorite crime fiction book I’d say this one! Very suspenseful and unpredictable loved it loved it loved it!!!!) 

The Guest List (April 13) 6/5 (this surpasses the distant echo. This actually made me feel things. The amount of gasps I gusped could have powered the state of Texas for a year. Absolutely loved it. ) 

East of Eden (May 15) 100/5 (what kind of genius do you have to be to write such a book?  

In Cold Blood 4/5 (May 30) maybe bc I already knew the story, I kinda had to force myself to finish this 

Macbeth 5/5 (June 14) iconic 

Northanger Abby by Val Mcdermid 4/5 (June 17) fun modern retelling. Expected a crime and twist but it was faithful to the original. Enjoyed reading. 

Gone girl 6/5 (June 24) omg her mind. Will definitely read more by her. Wish I hadn’t seen the movie before so I could have been fully surprised. Liked the ending. 

The Pearl (5/5) (July 3) not a page turner but a good depiction of reality. Very sad. 

Age of Vice 3/5 (July 7) great beginning but I didn’t like the ending. I think the author tried to put too many stories and perspectives in one. That whole bit of Sunil was unnecessary? It just slowed the story down at such a crusial moment. And Sunny’s backstory with Vicky too. I don’t think it was necessary to have an unbelievably tragic backstory for every character and he already had his deal with his dad. Some things are never clarified like what happened to his mom, his true relationship with Vicky. Why Ajay agreed. Ajay turns out of be such a loser in the end. Maybe it’s “realistic” but lots of things that happen in this book are not realistic so I don’t know why only the ending has to be realistic. I wish I could have followed Ajay’s journey to a good ending. 

Milk fed 2/5 (August 12) only read bc of booktok. Good seeds here and there. didn't realy like it.

The club (5/5) (august 19) excellent, gripping. A bit longer than it needed to be though. 

The grownup Gillian Flynn (4/5) (October 19) great short story. Great writing. So engaging. Perfect length for getting back into reading 

Emma by charlotte Brontë and another lady (5/5) (Nov 2) love. Mr. Ellin needs to be played by Simon Baker in a movie. 

A room of one’s own by Virginia Woolf (Nov 11) (1000/5). This has been on my to read list for ages. I see quotes from this everywhere and every time I’m astounded by how she just she gets it and knows exactly what to say to express it perfectly. The essay was everything I imagined it would be. Forever grateful to that Destiel fanfic for introducing me to this. 

Villette (4/5) (Dec 29) lovely 

Girl, interrupted (5/5) (Dec 31) made me ponder about a lot of things. Her youth was really kind of stolen from her. Made to freeze just like that painting. what is the right thing to do? What is helping and what is hurting? What does “crazy” even mean? I think I tend to be very judgemental about this kind of stuff. But this book made me realize that people are people even if you do not understand why they act a certain way. They feel the same as me. 

#books #english literature

[astronomical-bagel]

I want to know about the mushrooms tell me more about mushrooms

AGFHGJN YESSSSSSSSSS I WILL SHOW YOU MY TOP 5 FAVORITE MUSHROOMS. FEATURING: LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS AND ABOUT 957 WAYS TO MISSPELLL MUSHROOM!! THIS IS ALSO VERY LONG. SORRY. IM NOT ACTUALLY SORRY THIS WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN.

Okay okay okay first of with the most popular one: you know amanita muscaria? the fly agaric or whatever? the one that is THE mushroom? this one?

its like. SUPER deadly. itll give you a high, but it also comes with thinhs like involontary muscle spasms, general stomche problems, amnisea, and can even put you in a coma! and also it will Just Kill you. i like that such a loved and well-known mushroom is actually one of the most deadly. idk exactly why i liek that abt it its just like. not a lot of people realize. even though its so popular.

and the NEXT one is the devil's tooth fungus! it has a lot of names but thats the one im going to call it rn. It does this funkt little things called gluttation, which as far as i know is just the mushroom pushing out excess water. but the COOL thing about it s that hte moisture is thick and sticky due to an anticollagen (helps things not clot) that is a DARK RED. this mushroom is literally so metal it literally looks like its bleeding.

unfortunality it does set off my trypophobia so i cant really look at it for long. but its FUCKING COOL. i also like it EVEN more because, color-wise, its the exact opposite of amanita muscaria! And i like it EVEN MORE because while the amanita is like. thought to be the cutsey mushroom and all that but is SUPER FUCKING DANGEROUS, the Devils Tooth LOOKS all scary and halloween-y but is actually pretty harmless! I mean, it tastes bad and kinda stinks too, but its like. (and youll have to excuse me for anthropomorphizing mushrooms) its like a PERFECT narrative foil to amanita!!! AJGNGGH GOES INSANE!!

the next mushroom, and youll probably recognize this one, is the inky cap mushroom!! this mushroom is another SUPER popular one-- or, at least, its popular in 1. mushroom circles and 2. goth cottagecore circles. my perspective might be a little skewed LMAO. anyways this is also called the "shaggy cap" mcuhroom because when its young it has a pretty white cap with little ruffles on it!! buT! when it gets older! it starts to look like its liquifying, and it starts dripping black "ink"

ISNT IT SOOOO COOL??? this mushroom is my favorite-- at least in terms of aesthics (though devils tooth has GOT to be like. my second favorite bc that is too cool) This muchroom is actually edible! Tje website has it written down as a "nutty, mushroomlike taste" which. tells me absoltuley nothing. But also, and i just found this out 2 minutes ago, appearently you cant drink alcohol for 3 days after eating this!! the effects can go from a stomache ache to a heart attack, dependign on how much of either youve consumed. because of this, its also called 'tippler's bane", which i think is hilarious.

The next mushroom is the ZOMBIE FUNGUS. I was first introduced to this fungus via a nature documentary. it gave me nightmares for weeks and started at LEAST 2 debilitating phobias, but also at least 2 special interests so. i guess?? it evens out?? anyways i LOVE this fungus even though it still terrifies me to this day. This mushroom is called the zombie fungus for good reason: when ants digest it, it takes over the muscle system gradually over the course of a few days, and walks the ant over to a leaf for it to bite onto (exactly 25 cm off the ground, apparently) and then the ant flowers, making another hub of fungus to infect other ants and start the cycle anew. But i need to be absolutley clear here. this ant is still like. alive. its brain is active, but its muscles are moving without its permission. it has literally described by scientists that the fungus was controlling the ant "as a puppeteer controls as a marionette doll". this thing is both corruption and the web. the ant is STILL IN THERE. and one!! how the FUCK is the fungus smart enought to do that?????? What the shit??? How does the fungus tell the ant to move its legs???? hoe does it tell it whre to go??? how is the fungus in the ant communicating with the original fungus?? this mushroom is so scary to me in so many ways but one of the most proniment is that it almost??? seems to be ??? sentient???? i dont know. idk. but i do know is that its SCARY AS FUCKK. im not including a picture of this because i cant stand ants and also. the image of bugs with mushrooms squeezing past their exoskeletons and shooting out of their head is kind of. terrifying.

the last mushroom of the day is called the bitter oyster mushroom! this one is SOOOO cool!!! its special gimmick is BIOLUMINESCENCE, BABEY!!!!!!

ive been obsessed with biolumiencnce for FOREVER, because 1. its fucking cool. who wouldnt be obsessed honestly, and 2. Avatar (2009)!! theres not much more to say on why i like it honestly. its glow in in the dark. its automatically awseome. this mushroom in the daytime is a nice creamy orange color, and grows in shelves along trees and logs! not every strain is bioluminecent, in fact the biolumicent strain specidically does not live on the pacific coast :((((( but ill get to see it one day. one day....

anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH for inviting me to ramble, and ummmm congradulations if you read all of that LMAO. This was a lot of fun and resolidified the fact that I LOVE MUSHROOMS SO MUCH. ok thank you byeee

#trypophobia #blood #ask to tag #astronomical asks #beloved mutuals #myceliums #GOD. MUSHROOMS. COOL.

[noblechaton]

so. the ml movie huh. hm (big ol post with spoilers under this cut btw)

so after almost 10 years of being on this bug and cat train they finally get a big ol expensive movie and I think it was. fine? maybe? there's a lot going on here and while I don't think I can call it good and mean it I don't think it was the worst thing ever. a 6? out of 10 feels kinda right for me. got a lot to say here fwiw so buckle in if ya wanna read it all lol

main issue I feel is obviously them trying to adapt 5 seasons, each of which was dozens of hours at least, and a near decade of storytelling into a movie that doesn't even hit two hours. no idea why - I imagine the money ran out tbh - but running through the entire thrust of the series in ~1h40m movie just. was never gonna work man. feel like there had to be better options out there, like just adapting Origins with some episodes from S1 thrown in between them getting their miraculous and Hawkmoth revealing himself or something. idk. I ain't a writer

but then also I felt despite the short runtime that it sorta dragged on at times? like it got stuck spinning wheels here and there. Marinette constantly needing her confidence boosted even after being Ladybug for so long was weird. it's so strange bc they flashed through a dozen akuma - some of which looked kinda cool btw, be neat if they made the jump to the show - and yet it felt like there'd been no progress made? like the flow of time in the movie just. didn't work. a lot of stuff just sort of happens at you and you gotta hang onto whatever ya like and hope it doesn't just vanish in the river of events

voice acting in English was like. pretty solid honestly. maybe the best performances I'd heard from that side of the dub tho I have no idea what they were thinking with the singing voice for Marinette at least. couldn't really tell if Adrien's was still Bryce (I don't think it was but it wasn't as jarring) and I know Keith sang for Gabe's songs but whoever they got for Marinette just. wasn't even close to Marinette's normal speaking voice and it's super distracting. really weird choice. no shade on the singer tho she was solid imo just like. no connection to Marinette's normal voice really took me out of it

also the songs were kind of nonsensical most of the time and there's way too many of them. some are kinda good - Gabe's, Chat's and tbh I kinda liked the one over the credits to name a few - but like. they were not good enough for there to be what felt like 6-7 different songs in a movie that doesn't even crack 2 hours lmao

they made a ton of changes in terms of the story and general world and I actually kind of liked some of them - Ladybug learning to swing through the yoyo (which had a neat redesign) and doing so using that Ladybug vision was cool, I appreciate that we get a reveal and how it's done even if the end card was brutal, the miraculous seeking them out felt more like nice compared to just having the weight of the world dropped on them by some ancient man lol - but then there's others I didn't. Ladybug just never uses the cure until the end? I guess? she also doesn't purify the first akuma I don't think and like. nothing happens? Adrien's just sorta out and about? going to the school already? he gets a really understated intro imo. Gabriel sort of doesn't get an ending. I'd assume he's in jail? we get almost none of Adrien's perspective on getting the ring which is really weird

and that sorta extends into my feeling that somehow we did not get enough Gabriel in this. really weird saying that after having enough of that bum for the last 4 years of my life but his motives are carried hard by my knowledge of the show, and even then they're not really shown enough - he's not shown enough, and I don't feel Adrien is either. neither is the school setting or side characters, heck I'd say Adrinette gets kinda shafted overall since most of the development they get is in a montage sequence. there's a lot chopped out of this for the sake of a brevity that doesn't feel all that brief?

there's some good stuff in here for sure. the animation is undeniably pretty and slick even if some models are kinda wack. most of the action was fun and cool, the final sequence with Chat running up the tower and such was neat. I loved the Ladynoir something fierce honestly, the bantering and the sparring and the getting closer and closer. missed them being like that a lot tbh, someone on staff clearly did too. couple of jokes got me too like the opener with Chloe getting a single drop of coffee on her shirt lmao

but then there's a lot of stuff that really didn't work for me. Plagg being reduced to a fucking fart joke kind of made me mad lmao. them being super inconsistent with their powers was so weird. no lucky charm?? WHAT?? did I miss something?? no side character getting any focus beyond Alya was disappointing too and even Alya just dips out of the story after a while. breaking out into song once every like 15 minutes got old kinda quick too regardless of song quality (tho it was funny that Marinette seemed aware of the fact that she'd just participated in a musical number at one point lol)

Fu opens the movie with some really weird monologue and basically dips after the first akuma and they just. never find him again? he plays zero role beyond that point? Adrinette's first meeting is kinda cute in an understated sort of way but it's also sort of nothing and doesn't feel like a lingering thing for long afterwards - it ain't no umbrella scene dude. also Chat Noir seemingly drops the "my mom died btw" thing on Ladybug like she'd know that and she just sort of goes "Ah. Sorry, Chat." and that was. super fucking weird lmao

like I said. there's a lot going on - tho I gotta say for sure the writing was not consistently good. there were moments, flashes, Ladynoir is the strongest thing in the movie imo but there's so many fucking craters in terms of quality that it makes me so happy we get what we do in the show

on the whole I felt the movie was somehow way too condensed and yet too long at the same time. it felt like it was made by someone who really likes the surface details of the series but not the whole thing and like that's fine but I wouldn't say it was a good representation of the show. like the things I like about the movie are kind of all things I've liked about the show, and I like them more so because of that but also like I can't say the movie was good just bc I like the show lol

shallow is a good word for it I think. a flashy, expensive hour or so with little more beneath the surface which I feel sorta betrays the show it's based on where it's cutesy on the surface but has more going on under it. which like this feels very much made for the younger demographic and those that aren't into the show, like sort of an ad for someone's ideal version series even if it sorta strays really far from the show itself. as if someone perhaps in charge of this movie was clinging to what elements of their flagship series that they thought were keeping their company afloat and foolishly believed they could do it better than the creator or any other actual writer. wonder who that could be. anyway

as an adaptation of the show I don't think it was good overall and as a movie on its own it was like. fine. imo. wouldn't sway people into picking the series up but definitely not the worst movie ever made. super safe and super shallow, really messy with a few bright spots thrown in. a cluttered Ladynoir reveal fic where the Ladynoir bits are good and the rest is not. etc.

I like it but mostly bc I love the show - I would not introduce someone to the series with this and might not even urge casual fans to watch it either tbh. real mixed bag imo

also what happened to the "Awakening" subtitle? I kinda liked it and it's just gone. weird

#noble watches the ml movie #i pray for the soul that reads this whole post especially at this hour #ml spoilers #ml movie spoilers

[transcomputer]

HEY HI WALLY UM SORRY TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID OF YOUR INBOX BUT I WATCHED 8 EPS OF FIONNA AND CAKE AND I SAW THAT YOU DIDNT LIKE EP 9 AND 10 WHICH MAKES ME CONCERNED CUZ I REALLY LIKE THIS SO FAR EVEN IF IM A PRETTY CASUAL AT FAN. IDK WHAT I MEAN BY SENDING YOU THIS JUST THAT. MAYBE I WONT BE AS DISAPPOINTED IDK?? ok ill stop screaming now i hope youre having a good day/night :"3

HIII SU YAYY IM GLAD YOU LIKE FIONNA AND CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o(^▽^)o despite my beef with the last 2 eps i really really do like f&c as a whole ... it feels like such a natural and intriguing progression for adventure time's story while also being creative enough to have its own identity. when i was watching it i was blown away with how much it exceeded my expectations!!! i wanna see where they take the 2 stories and im excited to see where the team decides take this universe (˘◡˘) ♪ ......

full disclosure im a #fake at fan i havent watched since iwas like 13 or something so take what i say with a grain of salt . but ig the main appeal of the first 8 eps for me is that i felt like it was set up as a subversion of what we knew about fionna and cake and, by extension, adventure time as a series. it takes a look at at's typical storytelling formula but from a more detached lens so it provides a new take on adventure time's storytelling by subverting it's key elements while offering a new perspective and tone (i was very pleased w how different f&c are from their at counterparts!) . simon's depression only seems to spiral with time despite everything "ending well" in the original series. fionna, who was initially excited to escape her boring life, becomes slowly disillusioned when she realizes she's out of her element amidst all the magic. both fionna and simon were stuck in a point where they can't progress in life (though in varying degree) because no matter what they do, there isn't really anywhere they belong. so their arcs are set up to have them live for themselves and carve an identity outside of wanting to escape their situations!! i found that very interesting!!

but then. episode 9 and 10 ...... gotta say i was pretty underwhelmed w these ones ha!

(extended thoughts beyond the cut bc its wayy too long and kind of a downer.. ^^ dont click if u havent finished yet!!):

i mean. eps 9-10 do a good enough job in wrapping up the story .... its just that the tone and way in which conflict was resolved felt kinda disconnected from the first half imo. fionna's struggles and what she needed was set up as a fairly complex problem and seemingly extended beyond her surface level desire to escape. but by the end shes like no wait im ok with my town actually i just needed to accept it :) which while yes that was the resolution the show was setting up, the way it's handled feels too. easy ig? idk her journey in the last two episodes feels wayy more cut-and-dry than i was hoping. it really feels like they wanted to delve into her struggles a little longer but weren't given enough time to do so, so they just kinda had to skip to The Part where she learns her lesson, but for me that kinda undermined the complexity of the conflict being set up and resolved things in a pretty generic way. also nitpick but her decision to not change her world mainly coming from gumlee going like "nooo we just got together!" was like disappointingly simple to me (._.)

which brings me to simon. ouuugh simon. i loooove fionna and cake's take on simon as a character a lot but im sorry betty and simon's resolution left me with more mixed feelings than it did closure. their story is bittersweet and doomed from the start so i dont have a problem with them not being meant to be but "simon was selfish too" being the major takeaway is so strange to me? throughout the show simon is shown to be incredibly selfless and self-sacrificial so having THAT be what we take away from his character feels so out of left field. and yes bc we dont see much about simon's personal life in the main series i dont doubt that he was prone to being selfish. it could be an interesting direction to take him in! but.... his selfishness towards betty is only brought up in episode 9 (we didnt see betty till episode 8 mind you) through an exposition dump via casper and nova (whose segments+designs were admittedly rlly cute) and directly called into question in the last episode, which was ALSO their last meeting. and it leaves such a sour taste to me ....... if youre basing a climax off a specific conflict....why wait UNTIL the climax itself to directly bring up said conflict with little to no buildup. i couldnt feel any closure bc i didnt think this was the conflict theyd choose to build their relationship on at all (then again i have bad foresight)

also "we could've made better choices" still confuses me bc literally WHAT..... if simon never put on the crown he wouldve died and never wouldve found marcy. if he escaped the crown's curse he wouldve projected his madness onto pb. idk. maybe i was reading too much into those isolated incidents. but also somehow i doubt that betty turning insane and ice king's existence were consequences of his selfishness 😭 mind you he literally tried to stop betty from saving him in at!!

additional nitpicks the tone kinda switched back and forth and it felt jarring. going from the somber tone of simon and betty resolution/final meeting and the lighthearted/vaguely humorous tone of fionna and friends trying to stop the bad guy kinda messed with my investment a lil bit...also jay permanently living in fionna's universe was so strange to me likerwyt2r!^%@%#& DONT YOU HAVE SIBLINGS?

anyways i sound really critical but its only bc im rlly invested and believe it could be better if its given enough time to explore its concept better!! and even if the last 2 eps werent for me as a whole there are a lot of things i love about it . the visuals (casper and nova, simon and betty's resolution, the scene of simon returning to ooo, the dandelion scene, the epilogue, GOLB) were sooo beautifully done and did such a good job giving the scenes weight like seriously props to the creative team. i also looove beth and shermy we've only seen very little of them but already their dynamic is so endearing. there's so much passion and creativity jampacked into this project i reaaally can't wait to see what else they have in store

#PHEW im done....ive been working on this one in my drafts 4 quite a bit! sorry again 4 late reply (>﹏<) #but ANYWAYS. im rlly glad you liked it yayyyy ^__^ sorry it got long you gave me an opening and i just had to take it #ive been thinking abt this for awhile so ty for giving the opportunity to actually verbalize it :] (consumed by the f&c brain mold) #https://catabolicseed.com/txt #fionna and cake

[dollfaceksj]

okay clover, im finally out of work & ready to give my review/analysis. but beforrrree that, I can totally relate to that anon with being delulu & thinking yk who I am by my typing style and because I was kinda the first to start these long ass analysis💀i am humbled now bcs your inbox is flooded. BUT OKAYYY back to it ! as you may or may not know tehe im a slut for angst so I actually loved this chapter don’t kill me guys, different strokes for different folks ig .. I haveeee to compliment you on the way you write because as soon as I started reading the first few sentences, my heart sunk & I literally felt everything oc was feeling. It was so descriptive & literally just so well written! But once I realized how angry Tae was omggg was I scared for oc. I can understand the betrayal tae feels but I think he went overboard with airing her business out like that! I’m not sure if he aired both their business out like that with the intention of doing it so they break it off. I feel like he knows them both well enough to know that this could possibly end them. Both pieces of information was extremely personal and really hurtful/harmful to what they’re in the process of building. I don’t want to think tae would sink that low but in the heat of the moment, nothings off limits. I understand & sort of sympathize with Tae because when I get mad I say some pretty shitty things too (im working on it!) im not saying it’s okay AT ALL what he did, but I can understand it! I was wondering when you wrote “but Taehyung loves you. He grew up with you. He knows you like the back of his hand. You're family and there's nothing that will change that. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.” Was this her thoughts or was it Tae’s, would he actually do it all again? Because if yes :( if no :((. Also "Who do you think will get the blame when you suddenly start slacking with your grades because you're getting fucked over by some guy?" OMGG did this go everyone’s head!! Like why didn’t jk say anything?? Like i get if he would’ve said something he could’ve just made Tae blow up even more .. but like he basically said you’re gonna fuck her over & you didn’t defend yourself, you had no rebuttal.. so is it because Tae’s right??!? OMGOMGN THIS MAY BE ME JUST OVER REACTING BUT also 👀👀👀. Then he drops the whole pregnancy thing !!!!! That was shitty asf tae, that was not your business to tell! Honestly oc stronger than me because the whole situation was emotional asf & I would’ve broke down as soon as Tae raised his voice at me & looked at me with disappointment in his eyes :( I couldn’t take it :((( the timing was terrible too, oc lowkey initiated the whole going raw thing so I could understand if Jk’s view changes towards her a bit. It does look bad on oc’s part. The whole “oc’s a slut” thing is a big nono bcs it’s life shit happens. Is she irresponsible, reckless & impulsive? Yes. A slut ? No. Also I’d like to point out, we don’t know oc’s entire pov of what actually happened, only Tae’s angry spew of words. For all we know she could’ve been doing it with someone she was really in love with. Also, cumming in someone & wanting someone to cum inside you is a big kink, maybe she got carried away. She’s young okay. Let’s take it easy on her! Even though part of me is saying “oc bitch come on girl!! Twice?? & you’re still at it with your risky games? bffr!!” From Taehyungs perspective I feel like he’s being really misunderstood! What oc did is really fucked up, because yeah him & jk are close but him & her are closer! They’re practically family! He literally gave up his dream school for her, he loves & protects her! If shit goes left it’s not her thatll get yelled at, it’s him .. by BOTH sets of parents. Because he was her responsibility. If I was oc I would literally go in a depressive state bcs, now all I would think about is “does Tae hate me? Does he regret what he did for me? Am I a burden? Did I ruin his life?” Shit is just really sad :(! (Omg it got long again, hold of 1/?)

wow! im so impressed with your analysis! i really read this with a cold drink in my hand like i was reading the morning news paper lmaoooo

to answer some of your questions: 1. who thought "tae would do it all over again" it isn't either of them thinking this. it is my input as the author, it's canon and it's true to what tae would do. he would

2. i understand why you would think that about the fucking over part and why jungkook didn't defend himself, but it was more of a way if jungkook said he wasn't fucking her over or trying to, tae would be confused cause its jungkook and he's known for fucking around so he might've made the connection that they weren't just messing around but that there were romantic feelings involved and he wasn't sure how tae would take that, especially with the mia thing

3. yeah. i tried foreshadowing y/n's strict parents by her being reckless and enjoying her freedom as much as she does. you know what they say, strict parents raise sneaky children

i'll go read your other half now!

#toapp | jjk: discuss

[yandere-sins]

Hello~☆ Here for my thoughts on your blog and it's actually the perfect timing bc I've been thinking on whether or not to tell you smth. That something being...

How grateful I am for you!💜!💜!💜! Like, I think you're one of the first yandere blogs that opened my eyes and really pulled me into this special hell. I like how you...stay in character? Might sound weird since you'd think that's the standard but it's just what I noticed. Like, they way you write characters is very much believable. And the way you write is also just so easy to read, digest and pops like a Nimm 2 candy. It was also kinda surprising to know that you're also German bc of how fluently and well you write but also bc it just feels very smth distinct I can't describe to know that there's smn who's also into this fucked up shit in the same country as me.

Anyways, I love your stuff and I owe you my life 🤗 take responsibility for what you've done to me

Late replies, but thanks everyone who sent something in! I’ll go through it now ^-^

Thank you! I am really glad that I’m still able to keep up making the characters feel believable despite distorting their personalities! I’ve always tried to stay as much in-character as possible with my fanfiction, and I try to grab what I can for yandere and build on it (or wreck it hehe)!

I know that I make a lot of mistakes still, but I’m glad that it seems like non-primary english speakers are still able to read it! I think that’s already an achievement in itself :D You’d be surprised, though, how many Germans I got to know via my blogs, so you’re definitely not alone with whatever your preferences are! And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying what’s enjoyable for you personally :3 I’m glad that I’m able to give you the immersive experience through yandere in writing that makes you feel a lot of things!

Thank you for sharing and I hope you get to enjoy a lot more stories in the future!! ♥

I can’t take responsibility for your life tho, pls have mercy I can hardly manage my own x’D

It’s never too late, thank you for reaching out ♥

With the concepts, it’s a lot like with the characters, where you set on a completely normal, harmless point and then just drag it down to hell. It’s just practice I’d say! Nevertheless, thank you for your kind words and support! It means a lot to hear you say these things about my stories, especially when I try (even when I’m struggling at times), to present them the way you just described! I hope you’ll enjoy a lot more of my stories in the future :3

Welcome back! I’m glad to hear from you again ^-^

(POV and perspective are both okay to use, no worries! :D) Thank you so much for your insight! I’m sure you noticed I’ve been trying different POVs lately, and from different people, so I’m glad you found them all enjoyable regardless! I definitely want to do more yandere pov in the future, especially with the prison project still running (I think that would put a very different, interesting light on things >:3), but sometimes I get insecure and just hope it’s not too difficult to read as a reader who might not be able to relate. But I’m glad you don’t seem to have a problem with that! :D More power to you!!

Reblogs are definitely the best form of support, even for older works! Oftentimes I see someone reblogging a piece from a while ago and suddenly it gains notes again! Tumblr algorithm is crazy sometimes, but it of course makes me really happy to see that my old writing gets another chance at life ^-^

As for the OC content, I will admit that has slacked a little. Rhys is mostly finished and I think a lot of people don’t really know him since he’s quite old, but I have one more general headcanon request for him which I will do (hopefully soon). I don’t think Atreo will be featured in the upcoming MerMay again but I am still working on plotting out the story, so who knows! However, it’ll feature three new OCs so... that’s something xD As for the Alien Project, which is not only hosting my OC but also other people’s OCs, that’s probably the best bet for OC content! The next time I get to write about it, we’ll get some more Azazel action at least, so that’s something to look forward to!

Otherwise, I hope you’ll enjoy the semi-oc’s I sometimes write about, and who will keep popping up here and there, but I don’t have any more planned aside from the mentioned above yet, sorry >-< Maybe the next time, we’ll switch things up and get a darling OC where we are the yandere? Who knows, but I think that could be fun as well ^-^

Stay safe & healthy as well, and thank you for checking in ♥

#Admin

[1kook]

hiiii i hope ur well i hate asking bc i don’t want u to think i am complaining or begging (i am kinda begging, hands and knees) or anyth i kno u were on a break and as u should <33 well deserved, good break !!! but but but i have to ask … abt …. Born Sinner …. *hides* im sorry i just miss church boy n just was wondering if u ever … like see in the future urself updating it again im sorry i had to ask ok ok i love u i love ur mind i love ur works and i love born sinner sm if u ever update again or not it’s rly one of my fav works evr and i think abt it all the time . Ur mind is just that amazing ok okok i love u n hope ur well n happy and i wish u the best yami :* 💗🫶🏻💗🫶🏻 ilyyyy

🫶🏻😎 hi hello thanks for ur kind words!! long answer + answers for zoom jk as well just cuz, not cut bc I figure most ppl who followed for writing r wondering too lol

first off, I have generally not had time to write with school and the chronic guilt I feel whenever I’m not studying teehee just girly things, BUT concerning born sinner and zoom jk, I actually kinda wanna delete those 2 series and write them anew.

I feel like a huge downfall with church boy was that it tackled some pretty deep themes and the direction it was going felt slow and really far off, thus making it hard for me to find motivation in writing it bc the end just seemed so far away. I had planned for it to be about 8ish chapters, and each one being over 7k and trying to put those out on regular basis didn’t work out.

i love the concept of church boy, but overtime i kinda came to feel dissatisfied with his character. I mean. yn’s pov was often very short in the chapters, but if that WAS ME and I was dating a guy who was so deeply religious, he felt the need to blame his shortcomings on ME? girl what 😑 she’s definitely no pushover, but i did feel she was too accommodating at times (even tho i was planning on having her stand her ground in future installments). I love the idea of the story being from jk’s perspective bc it was after all about him going through a huge change in life, but I felt like his constant emotional turmoil and hyper fixation on sex was turning him into a rather unlikeable guy, which is something I don’t want 😭 he felt misogynistic at times and I hated that :/ whenever I had to write his thoughts I was kinda like yuck. Ew. lol, and I also always had to be thinking “ok, but how is he going to compensate for being like this?”

With zoom jk, I kinda felt the same lol but more annoyed with the story’s pace. I feel like the first 4 only 4 ghahbsbwhs chapters could easily have been one chapter that set the stage, introduced the universe, etc. HOWEVER I do think the progression was realistic for the story it was telling; come on lol, you’re not gonna be instant besties with a classmate you’re meeting for the first time over zoom during a lockdown. so I felt like I couldn’t really do much to change that. but like I said it was more so the format I did it in.

at the time I posted both these stories, it was fall of 2020, which was kinda “peak” lockdown where I live. everything was closed or remote, so I had a lot of time to focus on writing. however, now it’s almost fall of 2022 and the circumstances are not the same anymore, which has made writing very hard to do for me.

hope that answer helps !!

#asks

[rainparadefromhell]

okay so love victor s3 :

spoilers ahead!!!

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i'm gonna be honest. i really didn't like this season. everything was full of cliches (i know the show was like this from the start but it was especially bad this season) and it seemed like the writers completely gave up. i feel bad bc this review will probably end up being very negative but it is what it is. i've seen mixed reactions from people but it's always interesting seeing someone enjoy something you didn't and see it from a different perspective.

so, i'm just going to briefly touch on the characters.

victor = oh boy. i get that he was confused but knowing that he was still hung up on benji..... like why didn't anyone advise him to be single for a little while. i guess that's a problem most people in that town have, lol. i hated how i barely remembered the new guy's (nick) name. i hated how they just used him for benji and victor drama. it was so obvious in the break up, too. like why was he smiling and flirting with the guy victor wanted to be a guru for (see i can't even remember his name!!!) 5 seconds later. he didn't even feel like a real person. anyway i couldn't care less about victor and benji, the same as before.

benji = i didn't see this coming but i did sort of, kinda like benji, a little bit this season... i liked that we found out more about him and his addiction. i also really liked him in scenes with rahim which just confirms my theory of rahim being the best character and making everyone better. honestly i thought the show would try to make them (benji and rahim) a thing for a second and i weirdly wasn't mad at it....

isabel and armando = ah my actual best friends! they were so so cute this season. i loved seeing isabel more confident in supporting victor even though i thought that setting him up with (checks notes) ahem nick, was a bad idea...but she is trying and she's pretty and i love her. armando<3 pls be my father. i loved the talk he had with pilar about their first daughter. it was very emotional. and i love that they are starting their own business. truly a highlight of the season!

mia and andrew = oof. i did like them overall but seeing andrew be willing to drop everything for one person made me sad. you can't think like that especially when you are that young. it's not a good message and the show acknowledges it, which is good. it's definitely a tricky situation and i get it.

felix = stanning felix weston is not just a hobby. it is a lifestyle. it is the smell of flowers and the sound of birds first thing in the morning... lol okay but fr now. he was really witty this season ("oh he's not a dick, he just wants dick..... thinking about victor? lake, i don't think you're his type", can't think of more but pls put some in the comments if you remember). what can i say? i love the guy. i just wish his relationship with victor wasn't kind of forgotten again :/ i also adore him and his mom! their relationship was everything. (i talk more about him and pilar in her section of the review).

pilar = my girl..... i loved pilar. i still kinda do but this was probably my biggest problem with the season. why. why did she break up with felix??? the reason did not make sense to me AT ALL. she said he chose her family over her?? just because he suggested to lay low for a while until things with her dad calm down? that's the right thing to do! it wasn't like he wanted to break up. and she completely freaked out. seeing her climb through his window and try to sleep with him out of pure insecurity about their relationship and feeling like she's losing him made me so sad.....she's a young teenage girl so i get it but like to not want be together even after some time passed and you thought about it more? it's like the writers couldn't think of a better reason and just did that. i was sad they didn't end up together but also their relationship was moving a bit quickly (saying i love you like 3, 4 episodes in?). they could've just have them be a cute no drama couple and let them say ily at the end of the season.......

lake and lucy = what a delight! their relationship was short but sweet. nothing really stood out for me about them except their break up scene which made me weirdly emotional?? i feel like the actresses reallllly did a good job, both of them. and i liked hearing a bit about lucy's life. i really related to wanting to run away from your town, lol. glad they didn't break up! the only thing i disliked was that weird ass kiss between lake and felix wth was that??? and they didn't even flinch, it was like it didn't happen. weird as hell.

rahim = ah! my other favorite character right next to felix. he found a bf. good for him! i do think it was weird the way him and victor got over their feelings for each other so quickly. but all of these characters do act like they've got amnesia every new scene they're in, so it makes sense, ig. his storyline with his mom and that homophobic relative (was it an uncle?) really touched me. the scene with his mom where he just said a simple "never again." as to let her know he does not want to hide who he is ever again was excellent! anthony keyvan is such a talent and i hope to see him in other things soon! wish the scene was longer, i almost teared up with him haha.

so to wrap things up, sadly i was annoyed with a lot of characters this season and i felt like the dynamic between some of them completely disappeared (mia and victor, felix and victor, victor's little brother was legit in like 2.5 scenes, i forgot he existed). i understand that the season and episodes are short but they just threw in a bunch of characters with honestly some pretty interesting and complicated issues and then just either left them hanging (like the guy victor and felix had the school project with who kissed victor?? where did that storyline go? or mia's mom?) or "solved" them with a corny speech/ friendship-is-magic-esque message. which is why the pilar and felix break up did not make sense. everyone was magically able to overcome every obstacle but they just broke up for such a dumb reason. i also hated the pop culture references. and yet again did not understand this huge love between victor and benji? this grand connection they shared. (was laughing at victor looking at that water fountain remembering when he first saw benji. i was like, really? you couldn't remember anything more special from your relationship? just him looking hot and walking? (i will say i understand why he remembered that - bc it is the first time he saw him, i get it, i just find their relationship very superficial and lacking substance). it would've been awesome for victor to end up single but oh well. it was a cute show overall (the 2 previous seasons at least) and i'm gonna miss some of the characters (mostly felix and rahim), but i will probably pretend this season doesn't exist bc it was a 2/10 for me :(

#love victor #love victor s3 #love victor spoilers #love victor season 3 #victor salazar #victor x rahim #pilar salazar #felix weston #victor x benji #mia brooks #andrew spencer #lake meriwether

[gayspock]

also more general #thoughts bc trying 2 keep liveblogging to a minimum so im not off on a tizzy constantly

FIRSTLY: it was nice 2 see inside the raider, and it being an unpiloted, partially alive ship!! like... ok ok ok bc heres my general thoughts like

bc thus far, i have liked bsg!! i think its got good potential. i really do. you know, strong set up that i can really invest in if they continue on this trajectory, esp with some really good more insular episodes to work with wherein theyre dealing with like. various crises. like i did actually quite like the episode before this- with the prisoner ship- and the conversations thatbrought up, but also like..

part of me does feel like its lacking a bit. like the show. & maybe thats a 2022 perspective in combination with my own personal tastes. bc i guess i like my scifi... a LITTLE quirkier? LOL. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT. or not even quirky per se, but... i feel like THUS far bsg is lacking a lot in terms of creativity.

like maybe its bc we havent seen that much with the cylons, yet, but im kind of... uninspired by them thus far as antagonists. the most interesting thing abt them are the models that look like ppl- and whilst i like gaius' hallucinations, and boomer is who im most invested in rn, idk? other than that they havent really done much; theyve kind of just been serviceable. like do you know what i mean? nothing is stand-out to me, yet, bc theyve really just been held at a distance thus far and i GUESS that could be the shows pacing, too, but still. nonetheless, it feels a bit lacklustre in terms of its own identity for sth thats 5 eps + a miniseries in- but maybe again thats a 2022 perspective, yknow?

bc its not just the cylons but again. worldbuilding in general. even small shit, bc theres parts that REALLY INTERESTED ME to begin with- like the fact bsg itself was meant to be more of a museum??? a relic? and thats why it survived? god, cool- use that more! bc if i hadnt seen the miniseries, i wouldnt have even known, man.

and i respect if they wanna keep it kinda earth adjacent, but i still think theres more they could do to really give more depth to stuff like... the politics of this place, especially... theres been hints of it but eh. like it feels earth adjacent as a crutch, sometimes, and not a choice they wanted 2 make.

and i dont think they need to be crazy with it . i know a lot of thats my own personal tastes. theres deffo a way to make it work otherwise if the characters are really strong which so far theyre pretty good so i cant knock it there. early days i guess. early days

and also, i AM a little nervous in general, i guess, of where they might go with the cylons... just in terms of, like, my faith in sci-fi shows in general, especially ones with a military emphasis, and when it comes to developing "enemy races". i feel like its a really hard needle to thread, and theres been one or two lines that sent a warning sign off in my head.

you know what i mean. i feel like... ugh, at BEST its as i said: it can be lacklustre, and bland, and they can just kind of serve as an "enemy" (which that too is a bit ehhh) functionally speaking. at worst we get all sorts of horrific, clumsy ass analogies for racism and oppression which i am genuinely quite worried for -_-

like my point is. they have good pieces to work with but ALSO this setup could be so EYEROLL! if it breaks bad . or could really just peter out in which case i might shut it off bc ehhh IDK IDK IDK

nyways did i have more in particular to say

yeah i like boomer. grin . and gaius. and the president and her little guy. i think theyre my favourites... my finger is on their pulses. i cant wait 2 see what they get up to

#Egg.txt #bsg liveblog

[leonardalphachurch]

church?

assuming you mean alpha/bgc church here so

First impression

LMAO i guess i wont be answering these solely from a fictive perspective. what was my first impression of myself 😂 luckily i do remember basically what the system’s first impression was which was “i love this guy” which is fucking hilarious bc early church was SO far from our type we just like. fucking knew where he would end up i guess (sad robot)

Impression now

lol. well. i’ll be honest i’m pretty fucking good at distancing being a fictive from analysis but when it comes to my like. fucking feelings. that’s me. i’m that guy. what do you want me to say.

Favorite moment

“you know what? i could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing” is still such an iconic line bc it does such a damn good job setting up church’s character with just the one line. maybe also uhh??? “this is the voice of god! give up your evil ways! join the blue team!” or, fuck wait this is the one “no matter how bad things might seem, the can never get any better and they can never get any worse because it’s just the way things fucking are” it’s just like… perfect philosophy of him and also a retroactive good cap on his character development kinda? went from the director desperately clinging to the past to alpha trying again and again to fix things to him actually accepting reality for what it is. shrugs it’s just good.

Idea for a story

LOL my head is literally filled with nothing but ideas for a story for this guy. bluhhh off the top of my head uhhhh modern-ish au where he’s like a robot/synthetic person and the fragments are robotic/synthetic kids he’s gotta take care of?

Unpopular opinion

uhh?? i honestly think most people tend to get church pretty well. obviously there’s little things i think they miss but i don’t think that’d be considered an unpopular opinion because it’s not like they’re actively disagreeing, theyre just not thinking about it? maybe that he’s fat. most people tend to draw him skinny which i kinda hate bc canon implies he’s fat. ppl should draw more fat characters.

Favorite relationship

pfft. it’s church and tucker man it’s always gonna be church and tucker. him and tex is good too obviously i like all his relationships with blue team but. chucker man. not even necessarily romantic just every interpretation every iteration. man.

Favorite headcanon

“church” and “alpha” are two distinct entities

#asks meme #church

[parachim]

Okay so I’m going to try out writing my reactions/feelings for everything I read in a month. Some of the stuff I read isn’t captured by Goodreads, and some of it I have opinions on that I want to get out but don’t want to post on GR for all the world to see A note that for this month I mostly worked from home post surgery. I do my of my book consumption via audiobook in the car so this is a relatively light month.

So here we go for April!

FICTION

The Body Without Organs @Natsinator (AO3) I first saw Space Odyssey 2001 in 8th grade and I had two takeaways: 1) I would like to do LSD 2) HAL 9000 is kinda hot Once a robotfucker, always a robotfucker I guess. Anyway, this is good! Solid exploration of the ship mind concept. Some quality homosexual subtext. Better writing than the Arthur C. Clarke novel (truly I think he is overrated - his best work is definitely Childhood’s End which is usually not discussed when people bring up his work). The Last Shadow Orson Scott Card OSC is unambiguously a bad person. I have never paid money for any of his work (I use the library) but I understand that even just reading his work is tacit support. It sucks that Ender’s Game was so damn good. Even Ender’s Shadow and I would say up to even Children of the Mind are pretty solid work. Everything after that goes further and further downhill. Last Shadow is supposedly (HOPEFULLY!) the final book. And oh boy does it suck! Freaky plot point that goes on and on about the butt and associated bodily functions of a little boy character. Why does OSC talk about little boy butts so much? What’s up with that?? Racist about Asian women. He really draws upon the harmful stereotype of Asian women being the perfect wives/mothers/homekeepers. They really have no meaningful agency beyond that. Building on the last point, OSC definitely sees it as the greatest good in life to have children. Thus women who don’t want children don’t exist in his books. There’s even a fucking hyper intelligent bird that talks about having children. Even if there wasn’t all that shit mentioned above - it was a badly assembled book. Plot threads that were set up in books prior never go anywhere. There are too many new tertiary characters we don’t care about because we hardly know anything about them. The main conflict of the book is solved quickly and easily with little pay off. Was there anything good in this book? Hiram is now and immortal holographic AI. That’s kind of a cool concept but it doesn’t go anywhere at all. But the best things is that I am finally free of this series. Finally fucking free!!

Bonus - I didn’t actually read Empire of the Ants by Bernard Werber but I ordered it via ILL for 98 to read. 98 gave me the summary and I read a bit of it out loud for them. I thought it was going to be a middle grades book like Redwall or Watership down but I don’t think this book’s intended target audience was children. I think it’s supposed to be more in the Michael Crichton sphere of ‘thriller pop science.’ Some of the stuff from the ants perspective is really clever (like how they view the mini golf course). The author definitely has some views that would be considered ecofascist.  There’s a weird spiritual? metaphysical? twist at the end that isn’t really pulled off.

NONFICTION

Futureface: A Family Mystery, an Epic Quest, and the Secret to Belonging Alex Wagner The investigation of the DNA testing kit industry is really good. She had a good exploration on how such companies advertise themselves (learn how global you are!), vs the companies original intent (help Mormons find and baptize their dead ancestors), vs how the general public really interprets the tests (latching onto one or two unique/special things). I like her discussion of the flaws of the industries (most of the sample pops are European bc those descendant populations are whos paying for this kits, the ethnicities reported are based off of contemporary boundaries which are not what you own ancestors would have necessarily known or understood). I think if she had put that section in the front half of the book and centered it it would have been a much more solid work. Her more traditional genealogical research is probably too personal in-the-weeds for a lot of people to care about. The stuff about the Burmese political climate was good though. Information Doesn't Want to Be Free: Laws for the Internet Age Cory Doctorow Suffers from ‘could have been an article’ disease. Way too fucking long for something that just hammers the same point over and over and over. His argument that current copyright law doesn’t really work in the modern world is something I largely agree with but unless you are a copyright scholar this book is just too long for what it’s accomplishing. Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars from 4chan and Tumblr to Trump and the Alt-Right Angela Nagle This is bad. Don’t read this. I think I found it by searching for ‘anthropology’ in the library catalog. That’s pretty slim pickings so I got this without reading too much about it. It’s not an ethnography, that’s for sure. I thought it would be about how the internet can be a force of isolation and hyper insular communities that drive things like Qanon and deaths of despair. It's not about that. Nagle has a weird juxtaposition between the altright and tumblr culture, as if those things are somehow comparable. Jan 6ers really have nothing in common with 14 year olds using faeself pronouns but she gives them both the same treatment. There’s also a bizarre snub about video game journalism in here. Nothing is cited in this book. Apparently in the print addition there are a lot of typos. No idea how this got an audiobook produced. Arriving Today: From Factory to Front Door-Why Everything Has Changed About How and What We Buy Christopher Mims Supply chain step by step investigation. Would have loved for this book to come out like 2 or 3 years down the line to actually properly see what a post-covid supply chain looks like once things settle more. Good discussion on automation. Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady's Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners Therese Oneill Weird fucking book. I’ve never seen a history book written in second person before. I get that this is supposed to appeal to women who read Victorian romance, but it is off putting to almost anyone else in the tone. The book puts you in the place as if you were an upper class, white, Victorian Era woman in England. A very hard book to enjoy for me because of that for my own personal Gender reasons. I think the second person POV also stymies the book in that it limits the scope of who can be talked about and what life was like for women during the era who were not white, well to do, etc. Do we really need a deep drive on the women we already have the most information on? It does seem to be comprehensively researched. Nothing factual in the book seems incorrect as far as I know.

Index, A History of the: A Bookish Adventure from Medieval Manuscripts to the Digital Age Dennis Duncan Amazed that a book this specific got an audiobook made and a library system that I’m in bought a license to it. But, I supposed if anyone is going to be interested in this book it’s going to be someone with a library sciences degree. Even for being so hyper-specific, I think this book is good for what it is. Interesting investigation of how the way of organizing information has changed over time and how people perceive how information should be sorted. The author casually mentions that in the medieval era that it was way more common for people to read while moving their lips which is something that people are made fun of for doing now! Interesting that seems to be the default way of reading back then and it has since shifted towards silent reading. What factors played into that? More legible books? Capitalism driving focus on the individual vs community (if you read out loud it could be sharing with the people around you)? Would love to know when that shift happened temporally.

#kavkareads #bringing that tag back #these books are discussed in no particular order