#this is all because one time i cut a jalapeno and my fingertips hurt for like a day after

[brutal-nemesis]

Wound Irritation Day 2022: The Spice of Life

I could have finished this on time but then I watched Space Dandy for 40 minutes and guess what i regret nothing and as always Daniel and Wren belong to @galaxywhump

Castys Masterlist 

Ingredients: stabbing, a little blunt force trauma to the head, alcohol in wound and also spicy in wound and that’s about is this is a tamer one

Sometimes Castys was excited for dinner, and sometimes he was not. Well, he was always excited to eat dinner, if he even got to, but as for when it was being prepared…it varied. On better nights, it was just Wren, and Castys could sit in the kitchen with him, on a stool, and they’d talk and Wren would sneak him bites of food or let him help with things that didn’t require a knife. However, tonight was one of the fun and exciting nights when Daniel helped cook, too, which meant Castys got to be tied to a chair and had to keep his mouth mostly shut if he didn’t want to get muzzled. As fun as annoying Daniel was, the muzzle sucked enough that it sort of outweighed that. Most of the time.

“Hey, guys, fuck, marry, kill for rice, pasta, and bread, go. I think for me, I gotta say fuck bread, marry rice, kill pasta. Don’t get me wrong, I love some noodles, some noods, but, like, man. Have you ever just, like, had some bread? Insane. I would fuck bread. I don’t wanna fuck anything, but boy I would fuck the bread. And rice, man, she’s so dependable, she’s always there for you. What I would want in a spouse if I wanted anything in a spouse. This game wasn’t really designed for me, and yet, here I am. So, c’mon, what’s it from you two? You’ve gotta have-Hey, Danny boy, got an opinion you’d like to share?” Castys smiled up at the man now standing in front of him.

Daniel rolled his eyes before putting his asshole face back on. “Just do something useful for once and hold this for me, vermin,” he said with a smile, lifting Castys’s shirt and gently sliding the knife he was holding into his abdomen. Castys just sighed, way too used to being stabbed to really care much about this. It hurt just as much as normal stabs di-well, no it…it hurt a lot. Like, a whole lot more than it should. I-it was fucking burning what the-Castys frantically looked around on the counters for what the hell Daniel had been cutti-there. Little pile of green cube-y things, and off to the side some stems and round, flat seeds. 

Of course.

Normally, Castys loved spicy food. Well, he still loved spicy food right now, but only when it was in his stomach instead of in his…stomach area. You know. Eaten vs. stabbed with. No, no, Daniel didn’t actually stab him with a hot pepper, just a knife covered in hot pepper juice. He didn’t remember the exact name of it, just that it had a funny “ny” letter in it. He really had been paying attention whenever ago when Wren had told him what it was, he just had a lot of bigger problems right now. Namely, problems that he was avoiding by going off on this mental tangent instead of thinking about the very hot toasty burning knife buried in his gut.

He’d been stabbed with actual hot knives before, and he wasn’t sure which was worse. Sizzly hot knives were sizzly and they smelled awful and the heat from them gripped his whole body in its very hot heat which sucked it made him all sweaty and feverish even after the knife got pulled out. This hot knife was not sizzly and smelled like spicy, but not very strongly, and it didn’t stop him from bleeding, except for the fact that it was left in the wound, but there was still blood coming out! And it was still hot, still burning, but different, more intense, more focused, throbbing and pulsing, enough to still bring tears to his eyes, which he was sure Daniel saw, so hoo-fucking-ray for that, but what could he do, absolutely nothing, as always, as usual, classic powerless Castys moments, put it on the record.

After watching him a bit, Daniel finally got back to cooking, but he’d steal glances every now and then, smiling all the while. Castys smiled back at him, doing his best to keep the pain off of his face, but who the fuck knows how well that was working. Well, Daniel knew. And maybe Wren, who was looking at him with sympathy when Daniel was occupied with cooking shit. There was a lot of looking going on. A lot of looking and a lot of pain in his gut. It came and went, like a bird that will not leave you alone when you’re trying to enjoy your bread that you keep shooing off. Damn, Castys wanted some bread. Like, good bread. Quality bread. Fuckable bread. Unfortunately, putting bread in his stab hole would probably not make it any less spicy.

Once dinner was ready, Castys got to kneel in his special boy spot right next to Daniel’s chair, the leash tied tightly enough to the leg that he couldn’t move for shit. His hands were cuffed behind his back, as always, but to spice things up, he still had that damn knife in his tummy. Stomach. When did he get in the habit of saying “tummy”? It was weird. Who says that. Castys, apparently. He needed to un-say that. Which would be-oh hello, Daniel’s hand in his hair. It wasn’t unexpected, but it also was nowhere near welcome. Especially when it turned from gentle stroking to a clenched fist, tugging, and-WHAM there goes Castys’s forehead into the leg of the table. Fuck, fuck, he definitely, like, yelped or something, involuntarily, of course. 

The world was kinda spinning now, spinning and even more hot than before, there was the bird coming back, the bird was on fire, and it hurt. So. Fucking. Much. He didn’t know how else to call it. Hot. Throbbing. Burning. Ringing. Swirling. Pulsing. Verbs. Ouch. Black spots. Cool wood under his knees. Very warm hot everything else. Maybe if he stared at the knife long enough it would go away. It didn’t work, but it got him through the rest of dinner and Daniel’s annoying petting, so that was something. Being an annoying little shit probably would have gotten him through it better for all of two seconds before Daniel decided to bang his head again or muzzled him, so he shut up for now. He’d probably done enough stupid stuff for today.

Castys didn’t crawl out of the little hole in his head until he felt a hand at his neck, unclipping the leash from his collar, and thankfully the hand belonged to Wren. “Hey, Castys. I’m just about done with doing the dishes, but, uh…”

Castys glanced down at the knife handle sticking out of his tum-stomach. “I do seem to have some of the dishes.”

Wren laughed a little. “Yeah, you do. Come on, I’ll get you taken care of first.” He unlocked the handcuffs before helping Castys to his feet, frowning as Castys winced in pain, the movement angering his burning wound. 

“I’m fine.” Castys waved him off. “Hurts like a bitch, but I can walk to the bathroom, at least.” Wren raised an eyebrow but nodded, stepping back slightly, still close enough to catch Castys if he fell. Thankfully, Castys had enough Cool Guy points saved up that he did not fall, but once he made it to the bathroom, he practically collapsed onto the toilet. 

“Hey, uh, Castys…I think this might be easier to clean up if we do it in the shower. Sorry, I know you just-”

“All good man, I can do the moving.” However instead of moving, Castys sat there and felt lots of pain for a few moments. “It’s gonna hurt like fuck to pull this thing out,” he muttered before deciding he would pull his shirt off now to put off moving a little bit longer. There, no shirt, just knife, what a classic look, and now it was time to move, hooray. Grunting slightly, he accepted Wren’s help in stepping over and sinking down to the floor of the shower. 

“So, uh…does it still burn?” 

“Yes indeed it fucking does.”

“Okay,” Wren held up a bottle of…rubbing alcohol, which was a thing that existed, apparently, “I remember reading somewhere that alcohol can dissolve capsaicin, so maybe this will help stop the stinging a bit? Since dying probably won’t make that go away, ‘cause all it’ll do is heal the wound, right?”

“You’re really studying up on your Castys death lore, huh? Yeah, the captain whatever will probably not go away, so as much as alcohol on wounds sucks, fucking go for it.” Castys leaned back against the wall of the shower, trying to relax as Wren knelt next to him, bottle of alcohol in one hand, gripping the knife handle in the other. 

“Ready?” Wren asked, giving him what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile.

“Yoink it,” Castys said, just wanting to get thi-fuck he asked it to get yoinked but that hurt like a lot and now there was lots of blood and now Wren was pouring fucking alcohol on it and that totally didn’t sting and make his whole abdomen light up in agony he sure wasn’t feeling the burning anymore because fuck there was so, so much other pain now why did a fucking stab wound have to hurt this much incredibly unfair Castys wanted a refund and now that the stinging was sort of dying down the burning was back, lovely, terrific, perfect, de-light-ful.

“Did that help at all, Castys?” From the look on Wren’s face, likely a reaction to the look on Castys’s face, he could tell that things were not great.

“Uh…maybe? Dunno, it just…still hurts like fuck. Maybe a little less, but it’s,” he winced, “it’s really hard to tell. But that’s okay. We fucking tried. Maybe it’ll be better when it’s just spicy and no longer a stab hole.”

“Right. In that case, let me just, um…” Wren held up the knife, pointing it towards Castys’s neck.

“Hey, Wren?”

“Yeah?”

“Wash the fucking knife first.”

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#i wrote something #wound irritation day #wound irritation day 2022 #castys #wren rackham #daniel rooney #immortal whumpee #alcohol in wound #painful wound cleaning #wound irritation #how did i write this at all i dont know #i was very hung up on what castys would kill in fmk but in the end he said pasta 😔 #this is all because one time i cut a jalapeno and my fingertips hurt for like a day after #and then i was like hey castys what if i put that in you #it will not stop hurting after he dies <3 i just did not feel like writing more #idk thats about all i got sorry it's nothing super gory or whatever i've been a busy man