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wyrdweavings · 5 years

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Two of Vessels from the Wildwood. A meeting of the minds and hearts…for now.

Two of Swords, from the Samurai Tarot. “Keep your mind focused. Be peaceful even in the heart of battle,” the LWB tells us. Or, I would add, even in the heart of love.

Facebook just showed me this little tale–actually a true story–that I wrote a year ago.

A Modern Fairy Tale

Our tale begins with two men: both smart, both paranoid, both stubborn, one mechanically-inclined, one, not so much, yet both wanting to communicate with each other via text.

A meeting of the minds and hearts…for now. (The Wildwood Tarot’s Two of Vessels)

Their troubles began when one decided to install an encrypted text messenger on his phone.

He loved the encrypted text app, for lo, it made him feel safe. Wanting his friend to enjoy this feeling of security, he passed on the information about the app, but though his friend shared his fears of privacy infringement, he refused to install the cherished app, for lo, he did not like to be told what to do.

For a time, the two friends texted and chatted in great merriment, and all was well in the land. Then, trouble arose. Messages began to flow in only one direction. One friend could speak, but not be spoken to.

One who can speak, but who cannot read what is sent back, and who feels increasingly ready to use these swords.

The other could be spoken to, but could not speak. Phones were compared to ensure veracity. The mechanically-inclined of the two attacked this problem with all his might, assembling documents that spanned four months of messages sent yet never received. He assembled a crew of the best engineers in the land, those who work for U.S. Cellular, but lo, they could not help him.

He reached out to his not-so-mechanically-inclined friend, asking him to assemble a similar crew, of the equally able engineers who work for T-Mobile, but his friend responded, lo, I am busy, and I care not, yet you might seek the assistance of my kind companion, the one woman apocalypse, for though she is quite fearsome, she may listen to your tale, while I prefer not to, and if she offered intercessory prayers up to the engineers of T-Mobile, perhaps they would grant your request and consider this matter more fully.

Though the first friend had doubt in his heart, he could not abandon his quest, and so he turned to the one woman apocalypse and related his tale. And lo, the one woman apocalypse analyzed the situation, for though her wisdom may have been no greater than that of the two stubborn friends, she possessed a tool that they did not, a rare elixir called patience, to which she added another, equally rare concoction, which we shall call willingness to think things through. And as well, unlike the two friends, her head was unlike that of a pig, and she had no dog, at least not one in this particular fight.

Yes, the Queen of Swords (Queen Soloman?) is occasionally a one-woman apocalypse. Except not really. She has a kind heart.

And lo, the one woman apocalypse analyzed the problem, and destroyed it using the sword of her intelligence, first forming a hypothesis and reproducing the very problem in question, on another phone, and then fixing it.

The one woman apocalypse returned to the two friends with her joyful news, but lo, they were not joyful, for she had failed to do the one thing that mattered most to them: determine who was right and who was wrong. Though her sword of intelligence could slice through their mystery, she could not use it to compel one friend to start using the encrypted software, nor to compel the other friend to lay it aside and text with a less secure app. For lo, neither friend wished to be told what to do.

And there they remain, to this very day, one able to speak and not be spoken to, and the other able to be spoken to but not to speak.

The one woman apocalypse, however, may still speak, and be spoken to, and she is able to hear your cries of “yay!” and “huzzah!” for lo, she is a good listener.

Afterword:

It is most fortunate that the one woman apocalypse is patient, for in the telling of this tale, she forgot to turn on the steamer that she had hoped would cook her vegetables, and the vegetables are warming up at a pace that might be expected when vegetables are left to sit at room temperature. And thus, the woman who has not the head of a pig has been left to consider this truth, that no one is perfect.

A Modern Fairy Tale, or, No One Is Perfect Facebook just showed me this little tale--actually a true story--that I wrote a year ago. A Modern Fairy Tale…

#friends #Harvey Birdman #patience #Queen of Swords

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glamobserver · 6 years

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Doc, she’s beautiful. She’s crazy about me. Look at this, look what she wrote me, Doc. That says it all. Doc, you’re my only hope. And where’s my reports? I’m telling the truth, Doc, you gotta believe me. Yeah, exactly. Sam, quit fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat your dinner.

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Just turn around, McFly, and walk away. Are you deaf, McFly? Close the door and beat it. Precisely. Thank god I found you. Listen, can you meet me at Twin Pines Mall tonight at 1:15? I’ve made a major breakthrough, I’ll need your assistance. Ah, honey, your first novel. Wow, ah Red, you look great. Everything looks great. 1:24, I still got time. Oh my god. No, no not again, c’mon, c’mon. Hey. Libyans.

Okay, that’s enough. Now stop the microphone. I’m sorry fellas. I’m afraid you’re just too darn loud. Next, please. Where’s the next group, please. Yeah, well, how about my homework, McFly? This sounds pretty heavy. Yeah. whoa, this is it, this is the part coming up, Doc.

You bet. Sam, quit fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat your dinner. I’ll get it back to you, alright? Uh, Lorraine. How did you know I was here? What you got under here?

Yeah, well history is gonna change. Hey George, buddy, hey, I’ve been looking all over for you. You remember me, the guy who saved your life the other day. Does your mom know about tomorrow night? Hey, George, buddy, you weren’t at school, what have you been doing all day? He’s an absolute dream.

Marty, are you alright? What the hell is this? My insurance, it’s your car, your insurance should pay for it. Hey, I wanna know who’s gonna pay for this? I spilled beer all over it when that car smashed into me. Who’s gonna pay my cleaning bill? Okay. I just wanna use the phone.

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Doc, you gotta help me. you were the only one who knows how your time machine works. Right, George. Well, good luck you guys. Oh, one other thing, if you guys ever have kids and one of them when he’s eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug, be easy on him.

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Wait a minute, wait a minute. 1:15 in the morning? That was the day I invented time travel. I remember it vividly. I was standing on the edge of my toilet hanging a clock, the porces was wet, I slipped, hit my head on the edge of the sink. And when I came to I had a revelation, a picture, a picture in my head, a picture of this. This is what makes time travel possible. The flux capacitor. Look, you gotta listen to me.

I don’t like her, Marty. Any girl who calls a boy is just asking for trouble. What’s a rerun? Huh? Stop it. whoa, whoa Doc, stuck here, I can’t be stuck here, I got a life in 1985. I got a girl.

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Well, ma, we talked about this, we’re not gonna go to the lake, the car’s wrecked. No, Marty, we’ve already agreed that having information about the future could be extremely dangerous. Even if your intentions are good, they could backfire drastically. Whatever you’ve got to tell me I’ll find out through the natural course of time. Radiation suit, of course, cause all of the fall out from the atomic wars. This is truly amazing, a portable television studio. No wonder your president has to be an actor, he’s gotta look good on television. Oh. I, I don’t know.

Biff. Good. Have a good trip Einstein, watch your head. Hello. Listen, Doc, you know there’s something I haven’t told you about the night we made that tape. My god, it’s my mother. Put your pants back on.

I need fuel. Go ahead, quick, get in the car. Well, I figured, what the hell. Scram, McFly. I think I know exactly what you mean. Precisely.

Its good. Ronald Reagon, the actor? Then who’s vice president, Jerry Lewis? I suppose Jane Wymann is the first lady. Well, safe and sound, now, n good old 1955. Holy shit. About how far ahead are you going?

Children forgot to play and enjoy life Doc, she's beautiful. She's crazy about me. Look at this, look what she wrote me, Doc. That says it all.

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