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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 1 year

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Preliminary Review: Gladiator (2000)

Warning for spoilers.

New fandom just dropped: Gladiator (2000). It's set in pre-Christian Rome, so it uses ancient Roman mythology (e.g. Elysium) but still it's a compelling and tear-jerking story if you can suspend your disbelief properly.

Yes I like old movies. Yes it's more historical fiction. Yes I am now reading 2001 fanfic that was abandoned in 2004. Yes I post reviews anyway. So?

That movie was amazing. It suspended my disbelief like nothing has in a WHILE. It made me cry, which is tough to do.

In accordance with my recent character study on my top-ranking obsessions, Maximus the main character slots in BEAUTIFULLY but not in a typical way. His devotion and loyalty is to his family, his wife and son (and despite being away in battles for nearly three years, the movie does an amazing job convincing you that these ARE his greatest reasons for living) is his primary motivation. And he loses them. What follows is an astonishing exploration of his mental state following this, from apathy and passivity to simply surviving, to being revitalized in the name of revenge. Through it all is the theme of death - intimately close for a soldier and now gladiator - around every corner and in his thoughts continually as he thinks of his family. They are waiting for him in Elysium. In the end he dies - this is upsetting and distressing, of course, but also the only reasonable way it could have ended. His family was his reason for living. His family was his everything. What point would there be to life afterward?

It's an extremely interesting exploration of the theme that speaks to me; usually it's about a person's values and what they sacrifice for those values, and the level of significance that sacrifice was and what it meant. This time it's about having values (family) and refusing to sacrifice those to (some might think) a higher calling or duty. It's about losing, unwillingly, the things that are valued rather than sacrificing and/or regaining them.

However, Maximus the main character DOES also fit another common theme of my top obsessions: military or at least battle experience, despite the fact that I don't think I feel anything particularly strongly about the fact that a person is battle-hardened. But perhaps the combat experience shows another side to dedication and loyalty: that of risking life. Soldiers have strong force of will and self-control. Perhaps that life is necessary for the denial of self/desires for a higher cause that is inherent in my favorite themes. Thoughts to ponder.

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strongfeelingsaboutsalads · 7 years

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So I keep meaning to put together a nice little collection of character profiles. I finally got around to writing some “messy little blurbs” for them, but... they got out of hand. So much text below.

Ainbheach

Sylvari. My precious troubled boy. Something over a year old. Complicated relationship status. Recovering alcoholic. Had something of a human preoccupation right out of the pod, since his Dream showed him mostly images of them and Kryta. Traveled to Divinity’s Reach as soon as he could, and very soon ran into a particular human he was certain he’d caught a glimpse of in his Dream. They had an affair, in Ain’s eyes a grand story of fated love. Unfortunately, this was also around the time he discovered alcohol. Things spiraled out of control and the relationship disintegrated with a lot of hurt on both sides.

The following months involved a lot of fumbling around the city and self-discovery and working through the bitterness of having naive dreams shattered by reality. He’s doing much better lately. He’s starting to find a kind of peace with himself. He went through a bit of a rejection of his human-fanboyism which led him to shed some ideas that upon reflection didn’t feel natural to him, including strict concepts of gender and presentation.

He ran into his ex boyfriend again more recently. Through work, no less. And he still very much has feelings. It’s a very, very uncomfortable situation.

Arisaema

Sylvari. Gunsmith. Maybe 7-ish? Spent a fair bit of her life in the Black Citadel honing her craft, but that came to an abrupt and unpleasant end after Mordremoth rose. Between the shifting attitudes and the voice calling to her, all she felt she could do was flee. This only helped one of her problems. She did have the dubious fortune of running into a far-flung Nightmare Courtier named Cearnan and a human he seemed to have some sort of control over. Both sylvari’s main goal was just to resist Mordremoth, and both succeeded, but it was far from a pleasant experience for Ari. She didn’t even realize that Mordremoth had been defeated until some time after, when [someone who thanks to multiple reworkings of this story is now uncertain] killed Cearnan.

The human turned out to have his own complicated history and quite a bit of his own trauma. Ari took it upon herself to look after him since he was quite incapable of taking care of himself at that point. They currently live peacefully in Applenook Hamlet.

Galen Blake

Human, early-mid 20’s. Married. Very polite, but also very disinterested in the affairs of most people. Much more interested in his necromancy and his religion. And seeing as he has a particular affinity for Grenth, he tends not to think of there being a huge distinction between the two things.

Common born. Had a bit of a tiff with his parents and doesn’t really talk to them anymore. All because it’s apparently considered in bad taste to practice your necromancy on recently dead relatives. Pffft, some people, amirite? (Though in all seriousness, he DOES feel pretty bad about that now.)

The story of how he met and got involved with Rilias is one of chance meetings and unspoken longings and observant third parties trying to nudge the dumb boys in love into actually talking to each other, and it’s all much more than I can go into here.

Galen’s current social status is… odd. Rilias is technically kind of nobility, but in a loose, no-actual-power kind of way, putting Galen in the even odder position of only sort of marrying into nobility in a way that doesn’t actually offer him much of an elevation in status. But he does have access to more luxuries now, and he’s quite asocial anyway, so it works out for him.

Jeanine Cantrell

Human. A bit of a non-character in that she does have a backstory and the start of a personality I like, but a good chunk of it doesn’t actually belong in GW2. In another universe, royal badass and drag king.

Cearnabhan

Pod-twin of Cearnan. (Originally Cearnan WAS Cearnabhan, but they got separated out into two characters because I got tired of my only guardian technically being dead. And evil.) Not very developed yet, though there’s probably a whole lot of juicy drama to explore around the whole “my twin fell in with the Nightmare Court” thing. Both are pretty blueberry boys, but I suspect Cearnan got the bulk of the overt charm.

Cearnan - Deceased Nightmare Courter. Not a character I actually have, but he got some development. The twins probably started off bright and promising, quickly becoming capable future fighters of evil.

But Cearnan was starting to think. He’d heard Nightmare Court propaganda and dismissed it as such, as he’d been taught, but as he had time to let some of their ideas roll around in his mind, the more sense they made to him. He found many of Ventari’s tenets vague and unhelpful. And what tight did a long-dead centaur have to dictate sylvari morality, anyway? Still, he wasn’t certain he much cared for the Court’s methods.

As time crept on, however, he came to the conclusion that the better way he was looking for just didn’t exist. Life in the Grove was peaceful but stifling, and running off to some isolated village trying to cut himself off from the world wasn’t his idea of freedom. The Nightmare—he’d seen the Nightmare by now—wasn’t pretty, but that was the strange appeal.

Unsurprisingly, it did not go well when he finally brought all this up with his brother. They had several heated arguments over the next few days in which each tried without success to bring the other to their way of thinking. In the end, they reached an uneasy sort of truce and went their separate ways. They did not meet again.

Cearnan turned out to be quite good as a Courtier. Charisma was his tool. He could make people feel comfortable around him and present his ideas gradually in the most appealing possible light. There were plenty of young sylvari who could be convinced to follow his lead. Forcing the issue was a last resort. He always maintained a sort of disdain for those among his number who seemed to enjoy the chaos and destruction too much. He did start to understand where they were coming from as he embraced the Nightmare more fully, but there was still a goal to meet that required focus.

The story of how he ended up dead all the way out in Ascalon is a whole other thing that I’ll write up another time. (Only partly because it still has a couple holes I need to work through.)

Chwilen

Sylvari, 14 years old. Initial interest in necromancy had a very artistic bent to it, focusing on craftsmanship, an understanding of anatomy, and an eye for form. As time passed and her talents grew, so too did her awareness of the word around her. She had an idealistic streak and a sense of wanting to be useful to her community that drove her into the fight against the Elder Dragons. She found a niche with the Order of Whispers, were someone small and quiet with the ability to quickly summon a small army of backup proved helpful. And when the Pact eventually formed, she was part of it.

The fight against Zhaitan was quite possibly her peak. The risen, while not quite the same as her minions, were still something she felt she understood and could handle. She was at her most confident and focused on a clear goal. And of course, there was sometimes the presence of a certain Firstborn whom she idolized.

Mordremoth changed everything. The Pact which had become her community was torn to shreds. She, so used to being the minion master, was now feeling the pull of another’s will. She’d come to think of herself as one of the protectors of Tyria, but that felt like a thin sham against her now certain knowledge that she was created as a tool of Mordremoth. She’d always been a good follower.

It took every ounce of her will to make it out of the jungle without completely losing herself, helped in no small part by her brethren and thoughts of the friends she’d made in the world she wanted to protect. She had to convince herself that the feeling of wrongness was just the dragon’s mind games. She didn’t entirely succeed at that, but she did press on.

The worst part of it all was that she felt very little relief at Mordremoth’s defeat. She’d done the right thing, she must have, but she didn’t feel like it. Word of Trahearne’s death only left her numb. It seemed portentous. Something more fundamental to the world than an enemy had died. That idea scared her more than Mordremoth ever had.

She tried to keep working with the Pact to help them rebuild, but she was thoroughly burnt out. Worse than that, the unspeakable sense that perhaps Mordremoth should have won stuck with her. She lived with friends for a time while she tried to settle back down into a life without thinking about the Elder Dragons. She has been doing much better lately, though she tries to avoid too much news about recent activity. Some of the things she’s heard stir up the old feelings that she may not have been on the right side after all.

Culcasia

Sylvari. She has a pretty sword and is my warrior. That’s literally all.

Ferthainn

Sylvari. No real development. But leaf puppies! Three of them. At least. (Ranger pet, sylvari elite summonable, and mini.) He probably cares for them or raises them or something. I’ve decided to justify the summoned that he can’t just wander around with all the time as being a rescued hound that the Court was trying to turn. So it’s a bit touchy still.

Ikallis

Charr. Not very developed. The most terrified looking of charr and/or the sweetest grandma charr, I can’t quite decide. I told myself I’d come up with a warband for her “later,” but it’s been years and that hasn’t happened so I don’t even know anymore. Keeps devourers.

Jattzil

Asura. Revenant. No character.

Alaric Landi

Human. Noble. Pretty boy who hasn’t quite found his niche or his confidence yet. One of my too many magic nerds, with the twist being he’s not… Well not any good at it. At all. Probably a fair bit of tension with his sister Amara since she’s the competent one. At least he can use a sword and shoot straight.

Amara Landi

Human. Noble. Needs development. Mesmer. Sister of Alaric. Probably the one actually running things.

Liathann

Sylvari. Magic nerd. Probably very water focused and possibly some earth? Possibly some other areas of interest. Escort boyfriend who’s also a history nerd. Probably a fairly casual sort of thing. Not very developed yet, but he’s a very pretty twig.

Ilta Lightweaver

Norn. Needs development. Cute little sylvari girlfriend who’s not actually that little for a sylvari, but norn. Probably one of my low-combat characters, with something nice and mesmer-y for an occupation.

Mari Ovesdottir

Norn. The smallest and daintiest of norn. But with firearms. And a baby griffon that’s probably canon. Needs development.

Lynette Rhodes

Human. Lesser nobility. Aromantic. Lesbian. Tends toward a lot of friends with benefits arrangements. Not to be mistaken for detachment or flightiness, she cares very strongly about maintaining friendships and alliances, just if you’re looking for romance you’d best look elsewhere. A lot of what she does is with the ultimate goal of building allies, status, or funds to maintain her family’s somewhat tenuous position. Notable part of a couple other character’s lives: Employed Galen for a bit and is responsible for him meeting his husband; Chwilen’s partner on some Order of Whispers business, as well as one of the aforementioned friends with benefits arrangements. Pretty close with Chwilen, actually.

Calanthe Riverwind

Human. Common. Might have a girfriend? Has a twin sister, Catrione. (Also I think a brother, oops I don’t do enough with her and the brother belongs to someone else.) Cat’s the more outgoing of the two and an unrepentant flirt, while Cala tends to be the quieter bookish one. While Cat is more likely to be the troublemaker, it doesn’t exactly take much convincing for Cala to run with it. Not to be mistaken for meekness. Mess with her or get her angry and she will respond with fiery passion. Quite possibly involving literal fire.

Garrick Selway

Human, common, jeweler and keeper of dogs. Needs development.

Tetchii

Asura. My oldest character and holder of random crap that doesn’t fit in my bank.

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