#to be fair it does quarter HP so it's probably meant to either be an illusion (psychic types) or autotomy (like cyclizar) but still | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skeletonwoman · 7 years

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Strategic (Harry Potter)

this is all just a phase, i swear

“Ew, it’s Harry Potter!” You hiss, hunkering down over your desk and he stops, blinking at you.

“Seriously?”

You stare at him for a moment, a warm flush on your cheeks. “He’s so dumb.”

“I’m standing right here, you’re talking to me, Harry Potter,” he gapes and you cringe, your eyes still locked on him.

“I heard he eats dog hair,” you continue, “and that he’s never laid eyes on a Subaru.”

“What the… F…” He shakes his head and storms off down the aisle, sliding into his desk. At the front of the classroom, Flitwick starts up and you’re having a hard time concentrating. He’s three desks back but you can still feel his stupid presence, like a beacon for trouble.

“What were you doing?” Susan asks, beside you, and you startle. Looking down, you note the doodles on your page.

“Doodling,” you shrug and she frowns at you, wrinkling her nose.

“I meant before, you were really… Rude to Harry,” she says and taps her quill on the edge of her inkwell.

“Have you ever noticed that everything supremely bad or supremely good happens around Harry Potter?”

“He’s the Chosen One.” She shrugs, scrawling notes across her pages and you grimace.

“Exactly, and I want absolutely nothing to do with it.” You pause a moment to catch up on the lecture and write a sparse few words on the page before you. “And now, he’ll never meet my eyes again, let alone come near me.”

“So you’re going to be a pariah?”

She obviously doesn’t get it.

“Bones, if anyone in this school is a pariah, it’s the dark-haired magnet three seats back. My strategy ensures that he and I will never again cross paths and he won’t discuss me with anyone ever. We just won’t exist to each other.”

“Except that you explained all this to me and I could tell anyone,” she adds and you scowl at her.

“Do you at least like the strategy?” You whine and she giggles softly, scribbling down a dot point that you’ve missed.

“I’ll reserve judgement until I see it work in practice.”

“Sit with us,” Hermione orders and you can see a sparkle light up Susans eyes. She’s not invited, of course, but on your way to sit with her, you’ve been hobbled. “Y/N.”

“Sorry, Bones is waiting for me,” you attempt and Hermione spears you with a sharp look that has you slinking into the seat between her and George Weasley. “Hello.”

A chorus of greetings sounds and Ron gives you a particularly bright smile.

Merlin, if he has a crush on you and that’s why you’re here…

“Harry told us you said something weird and we just wanted to-”

“Oh, my God.” The words are sharp and Harry winces, apology written on his face. “You guys are shameless.”

“Really, I-”

“Harry, do-”

“Yup!” Ron grins, gesturing for you to explain and you scowl at the plate before you.

“It’s obviously a useless strategy, considering you lot took the first chance you got to be around me but I had hoped it’d have the opposite effect.” You nab a roast potato from the center and nibble it slowly. “I figured that the way I acted would mean that Harry, danger magnet extraordinaire, would never want to be around me and would avoid me at all costs- even perhaps never ever meeting my eyes again. From that then, I would never have to worry about… Say, being drawn and quartered by the Dark Lords followers.”

Hermione nods sagely, her gaze switching between you and Harry and you peek a look at the book in question.

Embarrassment blares across his features and you’re maybe a little smug.

“It didn’t work,” Ron points out obviously and you’re about to make a snide comment when he continues. “Instead, you should’ve flirted with him like crazy. Nothing turns Harry off a person more than them liking him, makes him feel wriggly and weird.”

“It does not!”

“Ron’s right,” Hermione agrees, over Harrys protestations, “better yet, sat beside him and touched his knee. He’d be leaping out of his chair and straight through the walls to get away.”

“Okay, that’s harsh,” you counter and Harry throws his hands in the air in agreement. “I mean, I’m not that awful to look at, right?”

“Wait, no!” He groans, and you frown at him.

“So I’m not?”

“No, you are, I mean- no, just- no to me leaping through walls!”

“So what am I?”

“What? What’re you- you’re fine!”

“Just fine? Wow.”

“What do you mean just fine? You’re gorgeous, okay?”

“Don’t let me bully you into it.” You scoff and Harry groans, the hand in his hair unable to hide the stress tufts that he’s drawn up all over his head.

“You didn’t-”

“She’s good,” Hermione stage whispers and Harry’s words die. He looks between the three of you for a moment, grimacing, and you can see the cool shuttering in his gaze. He really won’t want to be your friend now.

“I better go, like I said, Bones is waiting.”

Rising, you trot the rest of the way to your original seat and slide in next to your friend.

“That looked full on.”

“She probably has a crush on you,” Ron hums and Hermione blinks at him. Harry can see her considering it.

“She doesn’t,” he mutters, gaze on you as you laugh with Susan.

“She might, she was trying to get your attention,” Hermione adds and he sighs, rolling his eyes.

“Amateurs, listen to HP. That girl is as far from wanting him as she is from wanting Ron,” George puts in, voice lazy and knowing and the pair shoot him questioning looks. Harry couldn’t care less why she didn’t like him, it was very plain that there was only one real reason and that he’d never be able to change.

Unless, of course, he murdered a guy.

Even then though, Voldemort isn’t acting alone, other people would still want to strike out at him and a girlfriend would be fair game.

So, she’d never like him.

Chaddick, an older Ravenclaw sits himself beside her on the bench and she gazes up at him.

She doesn’t like him either, obviously.

“See?” George finishes and Ron and Hermionie share thoughtfully assenting noises.

Stabbing a baked potato harshly, Harry shoves it into his mouth and tears his gaze away from her.

Why bother pining? Pining sucks.

it’s chill

no part 2 for this one, sometimes people are just SAD

#harry potter fic #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter golden trio #idk even what tags #golden trio era #golden trio fic

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rockiesturnrose · 7 years

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D&D Diaries-October 17

So last night’s D&D session was an Event, the kind of Event that will be forever referenced, and a reminder of just how amazing this game can be?

Since we’re essentially a drop-in campaign (though with 5 constant party members), we occasionally get new blood. This week, it was a baby!Rogue, arcane trickster specialization. Turned out to be a bit of a jerk, but he was also a full elf. Not unexpected, alas.

The other thing? Our healer was missing this week, again. I suspect it’s because he owes Keth money and doesn’t want to pay up. So we’re again relying on potions and just plain not dying.

So, it starts like this: our motley assortment of adventurers was tasked with transporting a mysterious package overseas. We had to take said package from guild HQ down to the docks to actually start the adventure. Doesn’t seem difficult, right? Well, the tanks didn’t think so.

See, our ranger put the package in her bag of holding to keep it safe. And our fighter thought ‘out of sight, out of mind! Package is safe, this will be a breeze!’ So he challenged the barbarian to a race down to the docks. And the barbarian, missing the Voice of Reason that is the healer, readily agreed to the fun. The two took off at high speed, leaving the rest of us (2 rogues, a wizard and a ranger) all alone.

Yeah, they broke the cardinal rule of D&D: DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY.

And that’s not the worst thing they did. No. They tore through a busy market, causing a bit of an uproar there. And then the fighter crashed into a produce stand, causing a huge disturbance. It involved the guards, we’ll get back to it because it is important.

More importantly: us squishies, meandering along at a slower pace, couldn’t get through the square because of the throng of people yelling at something we couldn’t see. So in order to get to the docks before our ship left, we took a side alley.

Turns out, some baddies were waiting for us to leave the crowd so they could steal the package. They dropped some boxes at the entrance of the alleyway, cutting us off. I’m a rogue, I need stealth and surprise. I had neither of these things.

The gnome wizard tried to intimidate the thugs, telling them that if ‘they wanted his package, they’d have to buy him dinner first.’ His charisma is 8—the thugs did not take kindly to him. In fact, they hit him first.

Fun thing about wizards? They aren’t frontline fighters. They aren’t meant to take hits. (To be fair, he was only near the front because he was trying to convince Keth that they should open this mysterious package.)

The wizard tried to hold his own, aiming a fireball at the crotch of the head thug (who was conveniently placed so it would hit all the other dudes too). All the baddies succeeded their saving throws, so they took a grand total of 8 damage. Yeah, the wizard rolled 8d6 and only got 16/48 possible damage. He rolled a lot of ones. It was sad.

So he got knocked out almost instantly. Someone healed him, he got up and tried to cast Hold Person, he failed, he got instantly knocked out again.

(all the while, I was glaring at the two tanks who were either staring at this farce in shock, or doubled over laughing. If the wizard got hit, I’d toss them a middle finger. Keth’s fury is righteous and long lived. I had words for the tanks.)

Wizard rolls a death saving throw, fails. Not good, but not terrible yet. He has two more. We could let him lie there for a bit. Few more rounds of combat, take out a mook or two

The next fun thing to happen? The wizard rolled a Nat 1 on his second death saving throw. The DM looked at him, completely mindboggled. “Okay. If someone heals you like, immediately, you won’t die.”

Thankfully, I went next. Not so thankfully, I had been set up perfectly for flanking and possibly ending this fight. But now I had to heal the wizard or we would legit lose him. Keth sees the wizard spasm and make some terrible sounds, so she decides she needs to heal this small dude she’s fond of. So I used my action to give him a greater healing potion. You know, pretty expensive, 4d4 plus 4 healing? I figured I’d give him at least a fighting chance.

I rolled 4 1s.

The entire table had a moment of stunned silence, then burst into laughter. The DM stopped the game to take a picture of this spectacular fail.

Whenever someone rolls spectacularly good or bad, the DM gives you a bonus or a penalty (like last campaign, our sorcerer had advantage on this climbing check and rolled 2 nat 20s. So now he can basically spider climb without having to roll). This photo-worthy dice fail deserved something. My permanent new bonus when healing? Everyone I administer a healing potion to gets an extra +1 HP. “That’s…not what I was expecting, but okay,” says I, starting to jot it down.

The DM smiles his terrible smirk. “There’s more,” he says. “Whenever you heal the tanks, they get -2 to whatever you roll.”

Cue more laughter from the table. Keth is so mad at these idiots, and probably will be for a while, that whenever she tries to heal them her absolute fury and loathing is felt in what is supposed to be a life giving substance. And even when she does cool down and they redeem themselves, there will always be that small part of her subconscious that’s still keenly aware that their foolishness almost got their wizard killed three times.

So the wizard gets healed. But by this point he’s just pissed off the head thug so much that the dude instantly attacks him. He’s unconscious again.

(That’s 3 times in 30 seconds, more or less. He wasn’t having a good morning)

Keth originally had plans to keep this last guy alive to ask what’s so important about this package, so I was just going to roll non-lethal damage. Turns out, sneak attack damage isn’t like…the most subtle of damages. Especially when you roll 17/18 possible sneak attack damage. Keth was a combination of very panicked and super pissed off that her assassin training took over and she just wasted the guy. “Oh, oops, meant to have my dagger pointing the other way. Oh, well.”

To top it off, these guys were so nondescript that we couldn’t even tell who sent them. So that was useless.

When the battle was finally over, the fighter’s player looked at us and was like ‘Hey, no, it’s good we’re not there! This would’ve been tougher!!’ The DM just looked at him and shook his head. Apparently, this battle was supposed to be super easy for our entire team. All it was supposed to do was let us know this package was so important that people were after it. He kind of expected the tanks to take care of the big guy while the rest of us picked off the tiny mooks. A 5 minute combat, tops. Not 30 minutes with our wizard getting knocked out three times.

Also, the barbarian, out of character, tried to mitigate my anger by pointing out he had given Keth 100 gold from selling some treasure no one knew he had, and that that should have garnered him some goodwill. Then there was an incredulous ‘you think the wizard’s life is worth 100 gold???’ followed by the squishies pointing out that the value of health potions poured down his throat was more than the 100 gold. The barbarian was thus shamed.

There was also a slightly hilarious moment when we looked at our poor wizard and decided maybe someone should carry him? Except Keth and the ranger are both weak as shit (8), so we looked at the other rogue, who has a whopping 12 points in strength. We labelled him the strongest among us and gave the gnome to him. The tanks only tuned in at the mention of ‘strongest’ and asked what number value that was. Then both started laughing because they’re at 18 and 19.

So how did the footrace turn out? Well, as mentioned, the fighter careened into a vegetable stall and got covered in tomatoes. He attempted to push the stall away and continue, but the town guard was instantly there. Somehow, amazingly, despite a 5 to a persuasion check, he convinced the guards to let him go if he just paid the fine (they crit failed against the persuasion). The merchant demanded 50 gold and made the fighter count it out one piece at a time. He was in such a rush he dropped the 49th piece and had to start again. If the guard hadn’t been there watching, he would not have payed such an exorbitant amount.

The DM’s original plan was for the disturbance that made us take a side alley be a planned thing, something the thugs had started when we left the guild. But because of the fighter’s shitty rolling, the disturbance ended up being caused by him. He was the reason we had to take an alley, and he was the reason we got ambushed. The thugs just took advantage of this handy distraction.

Of course, we squishies didn’t know that until we finally got the docks. The wizard, poor thing, was covered in blood. The fighter was covered in tomatoes. When he tried to ask what happened, Keth scooped up some of the tomatoes and shoved them in his mouth. She did this three times, every time he tried to talk, before storming away. She contemplated slapping the barbarian or kneeing him in the groin, before deciding he wasn’t even worth the effort.

Meanwhile, the ranger (who has the calmest head, apparently) told them what happened to us. The fighter put the pieces together and was like “Oh shit. Oh shit, you guys, I’m so sorry that was totally my fault.”

The wizard, battered, bloody and pissed off, heard this and whirled on the fighter. He cast firebolt at him and crit succeeded on the roll. The fighter, now smelling like burnt tomatoes and missing his beard and mustache, was left with 3 HP and much shame. Their strange détente is…I’m not sure where it is now. The fighter won’t doubt the wizard’s ability to start fires now, at least? The wizard might stay pissed off for a while.

So on the plus side, the idiots have gained some awareness. They have realized that we squishies require someone big with us at all times because none of us are good at sustained close quarters combat. We can’t take the same hits, we will die. We rely on being far away from the combat, or only being close for a maximum of 2 seconds. The barbarian, at least, was suddenly much more attentive of us. It remains to be seen if the fighter will be.

Also Keth learned that the barbarian considers cities ‘safe for adventurers.’ He bases this off the fact that civilians could do little damage to him, while he could do lots of damage to them. Keth was furious and pointed out that she’s an adventurer, more skilled than he is (level 5 vs his level 4 so you know), was raised in this city, and still doesn’t go traipsing about because cities aren’t safe for anyone. Who’s to say the person attacking you isn’t an adventurer themselves?

And then she stopped talking to both of them.

So we finally got on the ship, which was…an experience. The wizard and other rogue were both puking their guts out. The barbarian actually followed through on his awareness by gluing himself to their sides. Keth still glared at the both of them, though only the barbarian really noticed her ire.

Second day into a week long journey, and of course we get attacked. Same nondescript band of assorted humanoids, all after the package. This battle wasn’t necessarily as hilarious as the last one. We had both our tanks actually performing their jobs (the fighter got knocked out and kept asking me if that was redeeming enough. I just responded that he might want someone else to heal him). The wizard took no damage this time, to his relief. I put uncanny dodge to wonderful use. We managed to make short work of the entire pirate crew except one annoying gnome.

Actually there was one beautiful moment, where a guy attempted to stab the ranger, lost grip on his sword, and sent it flying through the air. As the ranger is watching it go by, he stabs her for laughing at him.

Keth also learned that when jumping fifteen feet down, she needs to be a bit more graceful or she’ll take some damage. She’s blaming it on preparing for the boat to suddenly rock and it staying pretty still. Being over prepared can sometimes hurt.

So there we all were, moving in for the disabling blow on the gnome pirate when a fucking ballista caught him in the stomach and sent him flying over the side of the ship. Cue all of us, staring in surprise, convinced that these guys were so well-organized they didn’t want any of their own taken alive. As the DM revealed, they nat 1ed hitting the barbarian and hit their own guy instead. It was painful.

Then the wizard noticed that the bad guy’s ship was trying to get away, so he sent a fireball at them. It took out everyone on the deck in a glorious blaze of fire. He got a bunch of XP for one shotting seven NPCs.

The tanks boarded the second ship to see if there was anything worth stealing. While headed down into the lower reaches, the fighter kept his halberd at the ready…and ended up spearing a crew member hiding down there. Spearing him so hard, in fact, the halberd got imbedded in the wall. And then he couldn’t dislodge the weapon. The barbarian, meanwhile, found a second guy and attempted to tackle him. Except he kept rolling really badly, and the guy managed to teleport away.

Meanwhile the newbie rogue demanded our crew give us payment for saving their lives. They tied a rope around his waist and dropped him off the side of the boat until he stopped being a jerk. Full elves, you know.

And then we ended the night standing around in -10 weather discussing concussions?? I love this group so much. I had reservations joining a drop-in group, but we all mesh so well together, everyone’s pretty reasonable, and everyone’s pretty consistent about showing up. It’s great. Even if not every week has an event worth writing about, it never fails to put me in a good mood.

#Kethila Nadroson #universe: Gryffonshield Guild

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