#to get me out of my 20k+ longfic slumps

[jeongjaebae]

Redo

Pairing: Juyeon x reader Genre: holiday fluff fluff fluff Word count: 3.5k Warnings: mentions of alcohol

The holiday party was a little crazy and you wake up not remembering who you were making out with last night. Luckily your best friend was there and can help you solve this mystery, right?

Is it bad that the only thing you can remember from last night is making out with some guy?

Yeah, you were wasted out of your mind. The obnoxious pounding of your head and the lack of memories beyond your fourth shot at the party is only further proof of that. But oddly enough, you can clearly remember the stranger's gentle touch, the heat of his mouth, and your heart pounding so hard it might explode.

Which, when you think about it, is the other weird thing. That kind of knee-weakening, heart fluttering type of feeling has only ever been evoked by one person before—

"Y/N? Are you even listening?" Juyeon waves a hand in front of your face, thankfully interrupting your train of thought. "Are you sure you don't remember anything from last night?"

"Based on the way you keep asking me that, I'm starting to think I'm better off not remembering it," you retort, groaning at the growing headache when you attempt to recall any memories at all. "Anyway, that's exactly why I called you. You're the last person I remember from yesterday, and I need your help."

Juyeon's instant frown tells you that he's already wary about where this conversation is heading. And sure, he has every right to be after having spent years being dragged into the antics of his closest friend.

In your defense though, the party last night wasn't exactly your idea.

The party was Changmin's holiday party that he was co-hosting with his friend, Chanhee, at a local bar where one of their friends works. You definitely weren't expecting an invite from Changmin, but there he'd been, handing it to you at the end of your tutorial one day. By this point, you'd already heard the rumours about how Chanhee and Changmin's parties tend to be... just a little bit sketchy. They had a bad rep, so to say, but no one ever talked about the reason behind that. Of course that only made you all the more curious.

So really, you were just an innocent guest attending a party that your friend personally invited you to.

And it was a good time, at least to you. But judging by Juyeon's unamused expression, you're now wondering if you perhaps contributed to this bad rep, whatever it was you ended up doing.

"Yeah so. Did you see who I, um..." You have to pause to figure out how to ask your question without asking it directly. "Like, how I ended up getting home? After leaving the party?"

No response. You can feel him staring at you, likely to be judging you internally, but when you meet his eyes, he looks away.

"Right, okay." You give him a wry smile. "That's fine. I was thinking that retracing my steps from last night might help me recover my memories."

Juyeon blinks.

"Please? I'll buy you that skin you've been eyeing lately?" The least you can do is try to appeal to his gamer side.

He considers for a moment, acting as if the two of you don't already know what the outcome would be. "Make it two skins."

"Deal. Now let's go do this thing."

An hour later, you're getting a strong sense of deja vu as the two of you head to the dinner spot you were just at yesterday. Nothing has changed within the span of a day—the lights are still up, not yet lit in the fading afternoon sunlight, and the trees are still decorated with the tiny trinkets and colourful tinsel. If anything, it's just slightly quieter on the streets without the same bustle of people out like last night.

The stillness on the streets coupled with Juyeon's strange silence gives you the opportunity to finally slow down and think about why exactly you want to remember the events from last night. Why are you so adamant on finding this mystery person you were making out with? Truth to be told, you don't really know the answer to that; it was just a kiss after all, albeit a good one, but did it need to mean something? You save the thought to examine later.

"Here we are," Juyeon breaks the silence. He opens the door to the restaurant and steps aside, waiting for you to enter first. "Anything ring a bell yet?"

You snort. "Please, it's not like I can't remember anything from this early on."

He follows right behind you, and soon, the two of you are seated. You're on the opposite side of the restaurant today, though yesterday's table with the couple currently occupying it is within your field of view.

"Oh yeah?" Juyeon raises a brow at you. "Then what were we talking about?" He slides a menu your way and then opens his own, though he chooses to stare at you instead of reading it, awaiting a response.

You shoot him a dull look back. "We went over your hatred for the holidays. Sorry—not hatred, but distaste. The crowds are terrible, the lights are way too much, and you obviously don't like the red and green colour combo. Don't even get me started on the music."

When the waitress comes by to take your orders, you snap your mouth shut, hoping she didn't overhear this odd conversation. Juyeon picks something off the menu as if he'd been reading it, while you end up ordering the same thing as yesterday.

"Wow, is that really how you think of me?"

"Who knows," you shrug, feeling the smug smile on your lips. "But you see, I have a theory that it's not really about any of that at all."

"Really? Go on."

You lean a little closer and gesture for him to do the same, intentionally pausing to up the suspense. "I don't think it's about the holiday or festivities at all. What you actually dislike is the—how do I say this..." you wrack your brain for the right term. "It's the couple-ness of it that you don't like. The whole cuffing season thing, the way couples are all around you, from the moment you step out of the house to when you turn on your screen and those hallmark movies are playing. You hate how love is in the air."

He doesn't respond immediately, and so you take a sip of your water to make your whole demeanour a little more nonchalant. The subject is one you don't bring up much—you may have known him for a long time and are his closest friend, but you still don't know why he's never shown any interest in love. There has never been a crush, a dating app, or someone he vaguely found attractive, and he's never cared much about your love life either and would much rather avoid the topic entirely.

Well, not that you've had much of a love life in a long time.

The crease between Juyeon's brows deepens as he thinks, and by the time he opens his mouth, his entire face is a look of disdain. "I'll go with answer A: shitty crowds, lights, and colours."

"Bingo. I got it, didn't I?" You push it just a bit more so that maybe then he'll tell you what's really on his mind. But before he can respond, the waitress comes back with the food, and you know you've lost your opportunity.

Juyeon stays silent for a while as the two of you eat, but you can feel his analytical eyes on you every now and then. He almost looks like he wants to say something, like he's wavering and might actually answer your question instead of avoiding it like you expect him to.

He doesn't, though. In the end, he decides to change the subject. "What about you? Why do you want to find the person you were with last night?"

"Because—"

You stop to think.

Perhaps it's what you remember about it that stirs this feeling in your gut. You remember the way it felt, the softness of his lips and the warmth of his fingers as they gently held you. The absolute tenderness that existed despite the heat of the moment and despite the alcohol in your veins making everything glow as the world spun around you.

And then there were the butterflies, the ones that only come out in the presence of that one special person. You're sure not just anyone could've made you feel like that no matter how inebriated you were, so this stranger had to be someone special. There was definitely something there.

Or so you think. Of course it might've been something you misremembered because of your delusional state last night, but at least it was something you could cling onto, right? You've been telling yourself to get out of this cycle of unrequited love and hopefully move on with your life next year. This would be the perfect excuse, and a much better one than the blind dates that your aunt keeps trying to set up for you.

"My family is still on my back about that blind date," you say, rolling your eyes for extra effect. You might as well lay the foundation now so that you have a back up excuse. "Maybe if I find this person and things work out, then they'll finally stop pestering me about that."

"How are you going to find this person? Surely you're not going to go around kissing strangers until you recover your memories? Do you remember anything about them?" Juyeon's questions come one after the other, and it's the first time he's so interested in your love life. Usually by this point he'd be looking slightly uncomfortable and then changing the subject, and seeing this odd behaviour makes you wonder if it has anything to do with what happened yesterday.

"I... haven't thought that far," you admit. "I guess finding them isn't that important; I just want to know who they are."

"Does it matter who they are?"

The question surprises you again, so you peer at him, trying to analyze him the way he often does to you. Juyeon's face doesn't give anything away though; he stares back without moving away once you meet his gaze, almost as if daring you to answer the question. Just like you did earlier when asking about his aversion to the holiday stuff.

"Hey, how are we doing over here?" The waitress stops by just in time.

You send a silent thanks to the greater powers.

After finishing up the meal mostly in silence, you're now heading toward the bar where the party was held last night. It's not too long of a walk from the restaurant, which was good for yesterday when you were trying not to freeze in your party outfit—or, well, maybe it wasn't so good since Juyeon did pull you in and open up his coat to try to shield you from the wind with it.

What this short walk is also not good for, is today when he seems to use every opportunity to convince you to turn around.

"Are you sure you want to know, Y/N?" Juyeon slows down his steps beside you until he's practically dragging his feet. "It's not too late to go home. We could watch that movie on your list or put up the new ornaments you bought."

His offer is so strange, not quite unlike your offer to buy him skins for his game, that you nearly accept on the spot. But as tempting as it sounds, today needs to be spent finding the potential love of your life.

You pretend to consider for a moment. "Tempting, but no," you shake your head. "I need to solve this mystery."

He doesn't say anything to that, but you don't give him a chance to before you're speeding up and heading to the next spot.

The sun has now set, and the many coloured lights of the streets are just beginning to light up as the two of you head towards the bar where the party was last night. More people are out and about; couples holding hands as they walk side by side, singles hurrying home, groups of friends heading to the Christmas market nearby. Everyone you look at could potentially be the person you were with last night.

But who could it have been? Surely it couldn't have been the worst-case scenario, your ex—you don't even think he was at the party since you've never talked about him before, but knowing Chanhee and Changmin, they totally could've found a way to bring him there. Maybe it was the hottie, Younghoon, whose name is the only thing you can remember just because of his thousand-watt smile. Or maybe it was—

No. Your heart gives an involuntary jerk at the thought, and you have to shake your head to get rid of the idea. No, it's not possible at all.

"Y/N?" Juyeon stops a few steps ahead of you, glancing back with concern at your abrupt stop. "You good?"

"Yeah, of course." You shoot him a quick smile but avoid his gaze. Now you definitely need to get rid of that thought.

The two of you make your way to the bar, but the search is futile the whole way. People are everywhere all around you, walking along the streets and gathered by the bar, and yet, somehow no one you look at seems to fit the picture. You see the same bartender from last night and he greets you with a wave, but his hair is much longer than what you remember about the mystery person, and his lips much thicker.

But you soon realize that the lack of resemblance isn't even the issue. At the back of the bar when you do seem to spot an attractive stranger with similar features to what you remember, your heart still sinks at the thought of having kissed them. And it's the same with every person you look at, which only means one thing: the problem is that you can't possibly imagine ever being in love with them. You can't imagine being in love with anyone other than your best friend.

It feels like hours later when the two of you finally decide to call it a day. 

There's an empty bench just down the street from the bar, close enough to the Christmas market that you get a nice view of the lights when you collapse onto it. The bustle of earlier has calmed down at this late hour, though it does little to calm the nervous pulsing of your heart. You can't quite pinpoint what it is that's making your stomach twist, and it certainly doesn't help that Juyeon is so close you can see the fresh snowflakes landing on his eyelashes and in his hair.

It'd be nice if this moment could last forever—only the two of you existing as the rest of the world is muffled by the snow.

But nothing lasts forever, and you know that you have to end this and move on with your life.

"It was someone from the party, wasn't it?" you ask tentatively. Juyeon seems to be analyzing you when he looks over, but otherwise doesn't respond. "And you know who it is."

That earns you a nod.

"I thought so." You heave a sigh, turning away from him to stare at the lights in the distance. No wonder he seems to have been dropping hints all day—the cryptic questions, the subtle slip ups. He can be a really careful guy when he wants to be, but this time it's as if he wants you to know that he knows. And yet, the two of you still spent all day aimlessly retracing your steps. "Then why wouldn't you just tell me who it is?"

"Because," Juyeon mumbles, "what if it's someone you don't want it to be?"

"Then it would just have been a fun time and nothing more, I guess. Why does that m—"

"What if it's someone that you can't see that way? Someone you'll never be able to have feelings for?"

The question catches you off guard. Here you are, half expecting a name drop at this point after having spent so long searching in vain—you expect him to simply tell you that this mystery person really was your ex or maybe the bartender, or maybe even Changmin himself for whatever reason. Gross. So yes, there might be a list of people you don't want it to be, but what you don't understand is why Juyeon is making such a big deal out of it.

When you look over at him, there's a sort of apprehension written on his face that he doesn't bother hiding. And while it confuses you why he's taking this so seriously, you can also feel the growing tension in the air between you, making each ticking second veer towards a slope that you'll be unable to turn back from. You never thought this would matter so much, but it's as if everything depends on this one, singular moment. The instant when he reveals the truth.

Why would he care so much about it though? Why would it matter to him who his best friend was drunkenly making out with? Why would he be so oddly hesitant yet curious about what you thought of this person—

"What if you're disappointed by who it is?"

The memories rush back so quickly that you nearly kneel over.

Stumbling out of the bar, finding this exact bench. The world spinning in a kaleidoscopic blur of lights, the warmth of his hands guiding you. You'd sat here and teased him about his distaste for the holidays—you asked if he hated it when you brought him to the Christmas market with you every year, and if he'd much rather not help you put up the tree. You asked why he even went to the holiday party with you this year despite hating both the holidays and parties. 

Then when you looked up...

"The mistletoe." You let out a gasp when you see it right above you, still in the same position it'd been in last night. The very mistletoe that you'd pointed out to Juyeon and asked him if he hated it too.

If he hated being underneath it with you.

"You remember it now?" he asks quietly. He appears calm, stoic as usual, but it's all too easy to see that there's anxiety swimming just beneath it all.

"Yeah, it's coming back to me now. So that's why you didn't straight up tell me even though you knew all along." You nod to yourself as you put together the pieces.

"We were drunk and caught up in the moment so I didn't think you meant what you said or would even want to remember it. I was going to let you forget it, Y/N, in case you thought it was a mistake."

It all makes sense now. All of that would explain his nervous energy today, the odd questions, the sudden interest. Except there's just one more thing... "But then why did you agree to come with me and retrace our steps? You—you wanted me to remember."

He sighs and gives in with a nod. "Yeah, it was a chance to redo the day. Last night was wild and things kind of went out of control, but this way, we could do it differently. I kept hoping that maybe there's the slightest chance you really meant it, what you said about..."

About being in love with your best friend, you think, internally cringing when you can hear the words in your own voice from last night. You'd nearly screamed it out loud, and the situation was probably more than embarrassing and not pretty at all—blame it on Changmin for having this party in the first place. This was nothing like how you might've pictured confessing to a crush at all.

But as crazy and mortifying as it was, it feels almost like an inside joke, a moment that only the two of you would ever know. And when you finally manage to process what Juyeon just said, your heart speeds up for an entirely different reason.

Hope. This is what you'd been hoping for, too.

"I meant all of it," you quickly say, diving right in before you can chicken out. "Did you? When you said that you don't hate all this holiday stuff, but actually enjoy it because it's with me? That you... feel the same way?"

"Yeah, Y/N. You have no idea how long I've been holding onto that." The tension in his body has eased and there's finally a smile on his lips, perhaps for the first time today. "And about the mistletoe right above us? I don't hate it, Y/N," Juyeon repeats his words from last night. "Not at all."

"Ah, I see," you tease despite the hammering of your heart at what's to come. "Is that what you want to redo this day for?"

Juyeon's smile widens. "I'd gladly redo any day if it's with you."

When the distance closes and you feel the tenderness in his touch and taste the soda on his tongue, you know that this redo of a night would be committed to memory forever.

#juyeon fic #juyeon x reader #juyeon fluff #juyeon imagines #juyeon x you #tbz fluff #tbz fic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fluff #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #my fic #how the heck do u tag things again it's been tooooo long #anyway!! this is just some writing practice #did a short holiday writing challenge thing #to get me out of my 20k+ longfic slumps #this was originally written for a diff fandom so #you might see it on a diff blog / for a diff character!