#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning

[dollya-robinprotector]

I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?

#This applies to so many things in my life #this is so incredibly unhealthy #toxic even #yet i can’t help but keep doing it #and now my friends too #those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’ #turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning #now everything is in pieces #and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore #thought we had something special you know #then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast #why you do this to us? #what were we to you? #You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you #but what were we if not friends? #why? #please I can’t continue like this #I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years #but I still refuse to believe this is really happening #it’s like sand #the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps #are we not friends? #why? Why you did it? #You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons #I mean we could #we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know? #so why things turned out this way? #where has the years gone? #will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this? #what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?