#upsetting that this is like. Exactly what i pictured jn my head | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jasenet · 3 years

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200714 | #backyard

( image cover. ) — location: seraph house.

CH: he quickly lost track of how long he'd been working on setting the tent up, willing to settle for making it through the rest of the night. sunset had passed him by, wiping the sweat on his brow with a small wash towel, wrapping it around his neck as he let out a huff. it was standing. that's an impressive feat in and of itself considering he just figured out not too long ago how to get the stakes in the ground. hoping no one would be upset with him for leaving holes behind in the grass, he takes a glance around. scant outdoor lighting and the moonlight his only sources of light, he grins at how much easier it is to see the stars here than in town or the city. when he moved in, it was what made the nights easier. blankets inside the tent and one beside it, he lays down, holding his phone up and luckily not dropping it on his face within seconds, he looks to the snacks he'd brought outside with him, glad it was nothing that needed to be kept chilled and clicked on his messages.

( ˟ 𝙊𝙐𝙏𝙂𝙊𝙄𝙉𝙂 » julian *rainbow emoji* ) ☇ could you meet me in the backyard?

JN: With his infrequent use of the device, it only shocks him more when it goes off. He thinks setting it on silent would keep him from an emergency so he doesn't. The smile on his lips is automatic. Chase, with a yellow heart beside his name, already gets him up and out of his bedroom all on their own. It's only when he's on the first floor that he can properly decipher the text. 'Okay! I'm coming' is all he sends despite only being a room away from the backyard. Though he comes with no expectations, wishes or otherwise, the surprise in his eyes and genuine pause keep him from speaking right away. The words bubble in his throat. Is this a tent? Did Chase build this? All alone? He could've helped, too, insisted even. "Hi," is all he can muster now as he gets closer; curious with Chase's work. It's not exactly like the pictures, but neither are any of his own creations. Bending over and looking inwards, he's struck with the question of what this is all for. He looks back at Chase, trying not to touch the tent in case it somehow gets ruined. "Is it your birthday?"

CH: waiting makes him restless, always has, and so he's easily rolling around, arms extended when he's on his back once more. groaning as he stretches them higher, higher yet, until he can't without lifting his shoulders, and he laughs at the slight ache from earlier, thinking he really ought to work out more now. asking cam, even ilya or yeon would make sense right? sweet almond and cassis wraps around him like a gentle breeze, luring him upright with a smile on his lips. "julian!" bending one of his legs at the knee, pulling it closer to the other, he gestures for the lota to join him, patting the area next to him, his gesture coming to a slow stop at the question. "my birthday? that's not for a few months." at least, it's the birthday he thinks he has. "oh... i don't think i know yours. when is it?" though he didn't have an occasion in mind, he wishes he had made a cake, the craving coming to him now that it's in mind. but that would've been more fun to make together too. another time. "you cloudgazed with me before, i thought we could stargaze together too. is that okay?"

JN: julian falls to his knees when he gets called. it's better and more comfortable to be at a similar eye-level while talking. then, as if it's all the permission he needs, he crawls the rest of the way to where chase allows him. it's certainly a different perspective, particularly at night. but it's one he's grown to like with good, comfortable company. settling for having his legs crossed, sitting to chase's right, he remains seated with his back upright—pulling at the ends of his sleeves as he watches the other. "october twenty second. i made it up since i don't know my real birthday." though it comes out with eyes down-turned and his voice just as soft as ever, he offers a small, reassuring smile. "when is yours?" now, if all of this isn't for a birthday celebration, then what could it be for? julian looks up at the sky, littered with stars, but not as close as he'd likely see them in pictures. constellations are hard to find like this, even as he's on the search for the classic ursa major and minor, if possible. "i'm happy you invited me. the tent looks great." placing an open palm on his left knee, he offers chase the chance to take it—unsure of how in favor he would be to touch. "how'd you come up with the idea?"

CH: now that he knows why julian wears long layers, even in the heat of summer, there's a certain warmth that comes to him to as well— one he realizes he can tie directly to julian the more he sees him. there's no denying it, that when he sees the lota these days, a smile is automatic and everything seems brighter. how can it not when julian's smiles seem more important now, more precious, considering what he's been through? "oh, me neither!" brows furrowing, he dials back the excitement, acknowledging it's not exactly a happy commonality to have. "i think it's in november . . . so i go with that. november 22nd. one one two two, isn't it nice?" when julian thanks him, he hums softly, not realizing it's one of the songs julian showed him that rainy night they were in his room, thinking he might not have asked anyone else. he only thought of asking julian. "you don't have to lie to me," he laughs, looking at the tent and tentatively reaching out. "i'm worried it'll fall down if i go inside so i waited out here." he's sorta joking. looking back to julian, gaze falling to catch the open hand, chase doesn't wait for confirmation that it's an invitation and takes it anyway, squeezing julian's palm like a heartbeat. ba dum. ba dum. "the sky looked so pretty earlier. there wasn't enough time to catch the sunset but . . . there was for the stars."

JN: At the exclamation, he turns to look at the other with some sense of anticipation. But as his brows knit, he thinks they're having the same thought. It's bittersweet not to know the very day you're born on. The day one would otherwise be celebrated on, and he would absolutely love to celebrate Chase. Humming along to that exact information, there's a bit of comfort in how they're a month apart. "We picked the same number. Twenty-two. That's something to be happy about." Though he doesn't have the same bout of excitement as Chase had just previously, he holds onto the wolf's hand a bit tighter at it. He proceeds to soothe his thumb over fingers that have known so much more than he can remember, and he'll be more than honored to hold them for longer. "I think it's great, you even made it yourself." He pushes himself backwards to get into the vicinity of the tent for emphasis. Sure, he's scared it'll fall apart, but he'll be the first to help Chase put it back together and make it more structurally sound. Like the words of Athena, maybe its foundation is stronger in some places. "I don't lie. You can count on me not to lie." He says with a grin as he pulls Chase along with him. "We'll watch the stars. Then tomorrow, we can watch the sunrise together. In here." He delves further into the comforts of the tent, adorned with all the necessities already, it seems. "You're so prepared."

CH: his expression dimming for only a few seconds, his smile regains strength and grows again, nurtured by julian's words, by his presence too. "it's because you and i, we match well, don't we? oh— there's a song like that too, right? with twenty-two?" brows furrowing slightly, he laughs when the lyrics come to mind, scratching the back of his head as he tilts his head, tongue poking the corner of his mouth. "ah, that's about feeling twenty-two. wait, right now, we both are!" another reason to be happy is easily found and he sings, squeezing julian's hand.

i don't know about you but i'm feeling twenty-two everything will be alright, if you keep me next to you

"if i played it right now, would you dance around with me?" chase chuckles, inhaling deeply at how gentle julian's touch is. on second thought— he'd much rather lay around and talk, revel in how holding julian's hand is an honor not many get. his brows shoot up when julian starts to move towards the tent and he's reaching out with his other hand, lips parted to tell him to wait but everything seems alright. the song's more relevant than he could expect. following julian's lead, he falls forward once in the tent, holding himself up with one hand above the lota and smiling, eyes searching julian's with a grin. "the sunrise? sounds beautiful. you have a lot of faith in my tent-building skills to stay in here, that makes me really happy." rolling onto his back, he reaches over for one of the snacks, glad it's a bag of gummy bears. not the healthiest but still a classic. "i was hoping you'd stay."

JN: Following a conversation is one thing, but following a train of thought is quite another. He thinks he'd get a better grasp of it if he just stays quiet and listens, process it on his own time. Fortunately, Chase ends up singing what he's thinking about and like a puzzle, the thought pieces fall into place. An automatic smile, something that happens more often than not whenever he looks at Chase, plays on his lips. Then, before he can even make a comment on the song itself, completely unknown to him, amidst his giggling, asking for a dance is certainly a surprise. Though his brows raise, he happily nods in agreement. "Yeah. Do you really have the song on your phone?"

Lying next to the omega is nothing short of a pleasure. He'll sleep alone every night without much of an issue, but it's rather warm and nice to have the company of another—particularly one he's grown so fond of. "Then we have all night together. Are we sharing a blanket?" He continues to hold Chase's hand while his other rests aimlessly on his stomach. His eyes light up at the sight of gummy bars, hurried to make grabby hands at it. Julian would argue that he would favor any sort of sweet, and maybe a few savory ones, but there's no denying that he loves this the most. "I'll stay wherever you are. I want to."

CH: "we can if you don't mind but i brought a few blankets," he grins, turning on his side and looking to julian, wondering when even the smallest of things started to give rise to butterflies in his stomach, encouraging them to flutter around as he stares. fingers squeezing julian's, he laughs as he hands over the bag of gummies, leaning closer to rest his chin against julian's chest, his own leaning against the lota's arm as chase half-lays on them. "i'll stay wherever you are too," he grins, warmth spreading from his cheeks down the nape of his neck, taking hold in his chest. "especially if you feed me gummies." he lets go of julian's hand to settle more comfortably in place, scooting closer despite the summer heat still lingering from the day. "if we stay in here, i might fall asleep on you again," chase grins, thinking back to that night in his room. it'd be harder to see the stars like this too, from inside the tent, no matter how comfortable he is already. "but that's not bad either..." blinking languidly, his smile grows as a song comes to mind, an artist that julian said he likes and he shifts again, leaning up and in til his forehead rests against theirs, forgetting his request as he sings, "i wanna sleep next to you, but that's all i wanna do right now."

JN: Popping the bag open, the gummies stay where they are. They're all stuck together inside anyway. If he presses them together, he knows it'll end up becoming a big ball of it that's sort of hard to bite on in his experience. Nevertheless, he's quick to pry a few off and feed himself. Then he goes in for another just to feed Chase. He's rarely this close with anybody, and likely never with someone resting on him, but he thinks Chase has earned that ability not too long ago. He'll never forget it either. An afternoon that started off sleepy and aimless progressed into something fun and colorful, and then something anxiety-inducing but comfortable the more he was assured. To have that sort of trust with someone if quite another feeling. So when he feeds Chase gummies, barely registering that he was told that, too, his cheeks flush and he has to stare at the roof of the tent as he checks himself, breathes himself back into sanity. "Then I'd like to stay in here with you." He's quick to reply, and even quicker to hold onto Chase with more fervor. It's emphasis, he thinks, that touch is okay and even encouraged. At least with Chase. Julian blinks back his surprise when he's abruptly met with pretty eyes and a pretty voice. The song is instantly recognized and, though he knows he doesn't sound nearly as good as Chase ever, the following lyrics come out of him. "So come over now and talk me down." As soon as it does, he beats the embarrassment that Chase would have sung it with him down, that their close proximity to one another was on purpose. And that purpose lies in the kiss he manages, without thought and without filter, as his lips press against Chase's with more eagerness than he himself knew to have.

CH: there's a lingering temptation to do more. always to do more. when julian is this close, when his hand is practically in front of chase's mouth, when they're not even a foot apart, mere inches of distance that don't have to exist when it comes down to it. barriers tested and crossed, he leans more into julian, almost light-headed when julian says he wants to stay. it's his secret mantra when he wants to hold onto someone. he wants to stay, wants to find someone who will stay with him. a home. one with real love, not a fetish or some experimentation because of the supposed thrill gossiped about within social circles. it's how they find him. well, how they used to find him but he doesn't want that anymore. he doesn't want to be found by anyone else in this moment. no, that's it it either. he's already been found.

is he wrong to think that? to believe that? but julian sings before he can, words mouthed along to and he would continue the song, knows julian compliments his singing, loves the praise when it comes and the way he's looked at, but warmth finds his lips first, filling him with more than he can handle. surprise, hope, a greed to hold on and one that he swears is matched in the way julian kisses him. why didn't he do this sooner? but it's so rewarding to have it done first, to find consent in that way. a gasp is forgotten as he gives into a small moan, the hand above julian's shoulder holding him up losing strength the more he deepens the kiss.

JN: Though his eyes remain closed, and he thinks it makes sense to do that, he still wants to see this for himself. He wants to somehow capture however they look like in this moment, within this kiss, into a drawing or better yet, a painting. It's okay, though, he reassures himself when Chase deepens the kiss, because he could still paint the way Chase looked just before. Julian's fingers intertwine in both Chase's own and his shirt. Having never done this before, yet being so eager to do it with Chase doesn't slip his consciousness, wanting to keep the wolf there with him for longer. However, he doesn't know how long these are supposed to last either. What's appropriate? Does a kiss include tongue, too? Isn't that something else? It's when he's in need of air that he pulls away, scrunching his eyes together as he gasps for breath. "We might need to... Practice that more." He quirks his lips into a smile, quickly pecking those very lips. "You taste sweet." He's a little lightheaded, but he feels evermore willing to hold the wolf close, even closer. Wrapping his arms around Chase's middle, it's certainly a different way to hug someone. Is this also considered cuddling?

CH: when julian's fingers lace with his, the melody of the song floods his mind and he finds traces of julian between each note. how to hear a song like this and not think of right now, of this very moment? if you don't mind, i'll walk that line. just when he thought it couldn't be any sweeter, julian says something so endearing that chase feels his heart skipping rather than racing, finally finding its pace to the rhythm of the song in his mind as it becomes steady, comfortable, tamed by how cute julian is, by how his compliment makes his cheeks burn red. i wanna come home to you. is that what this feeling is too? eyes still widened by the peck to his lips, he relaxes even more once julian holds him closer, tighter. fingers that laced with his now pulling at his heartstrings instead, a song only heard between them in this tent as he settles in, settles down, rests his weight against julian's, leg slipping between theirs. "is it just practice?" or is it for real, he doesn't ask right away, only staring at julian with a smile, shifting atop of him more to gently knock his forehead against theirs and he finally says it, "what if i want to do it for real? can i kiss you anytime?"

#( ongoing )

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