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archiveikemen · 1 year

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'Secret in Your Heart' Collection Event: Ellis

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

thank you so much @candied-boys for sharing this story + the screenshots with me ♡♡!!

When I was about to go shopping on my day off, Ellis offered to come with me.

Ellis: Kate, let me carry your bags for you.

Kate: That’s alright. You’re already carrying the things I bought earlier.

Ellis: I still have one free hand.

Ellis: Moreover… I’m physically stronger than you.

Kate: Of course you are…

Ellis: I want to pamper you. Can’t I do that…?

(Uh…)

Kate: … Then I’ll accept your kind offer. Thank you, Ellis.

Ellis: Mm, you’re welcome.

(... Ellis is so kind, as always.)

Ellis was always excessively kind towards me, as if I were his lover.

But it wasn’t because I was special, Ellis was kind towards everyone.

Whenever I was with Ellis, my heart felt lighter.

Ellis: — Hey, how happy are you right now?

Kate: Hmm… this is the happiest I’ve been since I woke up this morning.

Ellis: … I see.

(This question again.)

— “How happy are you right now?”.

He would ask that question to me and everyone around him at every opportunity.

Initially, I thought that it was just a habit of his, but—.

(I feel like there’s specific meaning behind it. Something very important to Ellis.)

There was a sense of uneasiness that felt like being choked by a ball of cotton.

As I pondered about the question I couldn't find answers to, I heard small footsteps next to me.

(...?)

Little Boy: Because I like you, I’ll tell you my secret!

Little Girl: Then I’ll also tell you a huge secret because I like you too!

The little children held hands and ran off giggling.

Kate: Fufu, how adorable. It must be nice to have a close companion.

Ellis: Shall we tell each other our secrets?

Kate: Huh?

Ellis: I want to get closer to you.

Ellis: Maybe we can get closer if we tell each other secrets. … What do you think?

His cute child-like suggestion made me smile.

Kate: Okay.

Ellis: … Great.

(What secret should I tell him?)

Ellis: Someone once said to me that if you tell someone a secret you’ve never told anyone else, you’ll get along very well, but…

Ellis: … Don’t go too far because you're going to end up having a hard time.

Kate: … Ellis?

Ellis: Which one is better? A secret that will hurt, or a happy one?

— It felt as if the bustling city suddenly stopped.

(Huh…?)

Kate: A secret that will hurt?

Ellis: Mm-hmm.

Kate: … Am I the one who will get hurt? Or you?

Ellis: Both of us, I guess?

Ellis: It’s a secret I’ve never shared before.

(How should I respond…?)

If I chose the painful secret, I might get to find out the reason behind his disturbing aura, and the meaning of that question he always asks.

(But once I find out, there’s no turning back.)

Ellis: I’d hate to make you sad.

Ellis: So I suggest you choose the happy secret.

Ellis: … What’s your decision?

(...)

(I…)

Kate: Then… I’ll do as you suggested.

Ellis: Mm, okay.

I decided to go for the escape route Ellis offered me, and he brought his lips to my ear.

Ellis: To be honest, I’m in a bit of a fix because both my hands are full.

Kate: Huh?

Ellis: I realised that I can’t hold your hand because of all the bags I’m carrying.

The unexpectedly adorable secret made my heart feel lighter again.

Kate: I didn’t notice that.

Ellis: Fufu, I did my best to hide it.

Ellis: Anyway, what’s your secret, Kate?

Kate: Don’t laugh at it, okay?

Ellis: … I might laugh because of how cute you are.

Kate: Then I won’t say it.

Ellis: Just kidding, my bad. I promise not to laugh.

Ellis: So tell me more about yourself, Kate.

His words and actions never failed to make me feel like a large weight had been lifted off my heart.

However, I had a hunch that I would someday be consumed by the dark secret he was burdened with.

It would be like I’m paying the price for overlooking it.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil collection event #ellis twilight #niki translates

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echologhia · 2 months

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ok i just wanted to add my two cents to the analysis of reuenthal's thought train in ep 93 of logh. no major spoilers but it's better to come back later in case you haven't seen the ova yet

so people have already analyzed the hell out of this particular frame (i apologize for the blurry screenshots i took hastily from laserdisc rip on archive.org, might fix that later) with reuenthal imagining his mother looking as himself and her lover as a guy who looks suspiciously like mittermeyer

well i just found more proof that this is not a flashback or an accurate retelling of the actual events. rather this is some sort of elaborate fantasy that reuenthal orchestrated in his mindscape.

even though it's extremely on the nose i haven't seen anyone else before me pointing that out! so i apologize if somebody did and i missed that.

anyway, let's go back to ep 28 (portraits). this is the first time we see reuenthal talking about his mother and his family in general. and what we see is that ova actually shows us a portrait of his mother (not just in one frame but in two):

yeah that's right. her hair isn't dark it's blond-ish. and despite that, oskar still imagines her as having dark hair (just as himself) a few seconds later.

might have been an animation blunder but i want to believe that this decision was deliberate. there are more things hinting at this whole thing being made up (others have pointed them out already), such as the inconsistency of the "flashbacks": the suicide of reuenthal's mother is portrayed very differently in ep 28 and in ep 93. since he couldn't possibly remember her death accurately (even the books mention this) the most likely scenario is that his father is at fault, and he shifted the blame onto the child - probably telling oskar that he's "just like his mother", and he internalized it. gender delirious

i also think that ova creators specifically chose to go this route. i haven't read the source material in its entirety but from what i understand there's no mention of reuenthal being a carbon copy of his mother appearance-wise. moreover, in die neue these (which some praise for being truer to the books than ova) it is the father who looks exactly like him. so ova constructed this personal freudian hellscape just for my boy reuenthal. i rest my case

#idk maybe i'm just going insane but i haven't seen anyone else mentioning this #so yeah this means i'm def going insane #lotgh #logh #legend of the galactic heroes #analysis #die blorben #mein bruder siegcheis #take a look at this #sorry i keep tagging you on everything!

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delusion-of-negation · 1 year

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so the notes of that logan paul's pig post are still ass, with more reblogs going very angrily to versions without the corrections:

some people, like myself, tried to get more accurate info out but there's only so much that can do when people are so angry:

this problem appears to be repeating itself on similar posts:

and posts that just share this information and don't place these screenshots of posts years apart side-by-side get zero notes:

and I don't want to reblog bait with this myself, but I don't want misinfo to spread because other people would rather get notes putting two screens years apart together to paint a false story, I therefore want to say you can reblog this or you can copy paste, make your own post, and so I won't gain anything from that:

Logan Paul did not abandon his pig, and he did not rehome her because of her size - a few years ago he moved countries and it was necessary to rehome her, as she couldn't come. he says he believed the ranch to be trustworthy and that they rehomed her again without his knowledge, months later, and it was the new owners who would eventually abandon her. nobody correcting it necessarily likes Logan at all, but people should hate him for the myriad of things he's actually done, not screenshots from years apart disingenuously placed together. the pig rescue seems not aware of this when they made their post, and Logan expressed thanks to them for having rescued her and for caring for her.

"He said he was heartbroken to learn his curly-tailed friend - who he had to leave in the US when he moved to Puerto Rico - had been found with a life-threatening infection and wounded ears.

In a statement, he said she had been rehomed without his knowledge by the new owner.

Logan rehomed her during his move to Puerto Rico from California a couple of years ago, and she stopped appearing online.

The sanctuary said she was found abandoned in a field next to another pig which had died.

Sharing his side of the story on Twitter, Logan said he rehomed Pearl at a ranch where she lived for 10 months before being rehomed again without his knowledge."

we should be happy the pig is now safe, not using her pain to do posts baiting reblogs by misrepresenting the whole situation.

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scarletk537 · 1 year

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The next day, as sunny as usual, though some grey clouds passing by, it was the day that has kept inside for awhile now, will be revealed to hear. Though it's not so easy.

James May has arrived back at the park and now is waiting for the children, Tamia and Cleo, under the tree, promised them to come here and explained everything to them. As he wait for the two, he felt a little reluctance about this. One is why the children need to know him? And two, will he tells them who he was?

Letting out a sigh, he tries to clear his head a bit by looking at the trees as the wind flowing within the leaves, though he is still reluctance about the topic. He just have to wait for the children, that's all it matters.

"Mr May!"

The voice rang in his ears from the distance and James turned his head to that voice and his mouth stretched to a grin as he sees the children, Tamia and her little brother, Cleo, has arrived, but with no parents around.

"Hello, you two!" he greeted them. "You've finally here, I thought your parents won't let you both see me. I forgot to tell you not to tell your parents or anyone that we shall met here again." "Oh don't worry, Mr May," Tamia said. "I told my parents that we want to meet the Johnson family, because they want us to come over to their home with their cousins to play some games."

James lets out a sigh of relief. 'Well, that's probably a good thing.' he thought.

"Nice one, my dear," he said to Tamia. "But please called me James. Mr May sounds a bit old, despite I'm being old myself." "So, can you tell us now? You promised us you'll tell us," Cleo asked him. James's grin suddenly turned into a thin smile. He wanted to tell them, but deep down, it was too soon to tell. If he told them, will they believe him? Will they trust him?

'Will they...'

Without other options, he takes a deep breath, and as he opens his mouth to speak, a different voice called out.

"Hey kids!"

Everyone turned to that voice and out of the blue, a tall, handsome looking man arrived. He wore blue shirt, jeans and sneakers, and his hair is a bit grey.

"Huh? Uncle Tommy?" Tamia spoke, recognized who is that person was. "That's me, kiddo!" the man, known as Tommy by his first name. His eyebrow raises up when he noticed James May. "And you are?"

"An English muppet," James began. "Funny, very funny," Tommy said with a smirk. "The name's Vercetti. Tommy Vercetti." "The drug lord of Vice City I presumed?" James replied with a sarcastic tone. "What are you, a cop?" Tommy inquired. "No, I'm just an arse," James snided with a smirk.

"What are you doing here, Uncle Tommy?" Cleo asked Tommy. "Looking for you guys, that is," Tommy replied. "Actually, I came here, stopping by to see your parents and others. Your mom told me you went to see the Johnsons, but instead you met.. whatever he is."

"We were just chatting, no big deal here," James replied. "Yeah, I can see that," Tommy said. "Anyway, come on kids, I want to take you somewhere more fun than here." "But Tommy!" Tamia whined. "We just got here."

James groaned of this, but decided not to stop them. "Go on, you two. Maybe someday we could talk about it. Alright?" "But-" "No buts, Tamia," James stops Tamia's sentence. Tamia and Cleo sigh in disappointed but decided not to protest and walks with Tommy out of the park, while James is watching them go and waved goodbye as the kids looking back at him before they entered the car and drove away.

James lets out a groan while rubbing his face down with his hands. "Bad timing this one," he muttered, before starts muttering curses while facepalming his face with both hands multiple times before stopping to calm himself down.

'Someday sooner or later...'

_______________________________________

Finally post this, the continuation of the previous post. I made Tommy Vercetti's first appearance in the screenshot. Not very accurate of Tommy because I couldn't find a Hawaiian t-shirt and such.

Oh by the way, the user, ashmirkier, who wrote the GTA The Holy Trilogy on ao3, has deleted their Tumblr account, and deactivated their Twitter account, before activated again and later, probably deactivated that account two days later.

Damn, this is sucks...

#grand theft auto #ashmirkier #gacha version #gacha oc #fan child #tommy vercetti #james may #tamia speed #cleo speed #gta the legend unbound #fanfiction

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 3 years

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Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

#danachan's posts #personal stuff #new year post #tw: covid #tw: yeast infection

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hegodamask · 5 years

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I think you've already talked about this before but I couldn't find the post on your Tumblr, so I was just wondering what your process was for making animated gifs. Like what methods you use to make them, what software you use, etc? Also, what parts do you find most fun or difficult or challenging? I've started making some animated gis, and while I don't know if I'll ever be nearly as prolific as you are, I was interested in learning more about them.

Oh hey! Thank you!! I don’t think I’ve ever gone through the process of how I make gifs in detail before, mainly because I don’t use Photoshop so I just assume my advice won’t be helpful to anybody. I don’t know how helpful this will be to you, but I’ve done a little step by step walkthrough of how I make a gif with a few general pointers thrown in. I was gonna try and keep it brief but it turned out much longer…..sorry.

I’ve put what I find most difficult and fun at the end, so you can just skip to that if you want.

As for the rest, here goes….

So, background: I taught myself how to make gifs using Serif Photoplus X2 because we used their products in highschool. Then a few years later, I updated to Photoplus X7 (made hardly any difference though). Serif doesn’t even make the Photoplus range anymore (they still sell X8 but it’s rubbish and crashes a lot, and their new product Affinity doesn’t even let you make gifs!). I’ve tried to use Photoshop in the past and everyone says it’s better, but I’m stuck in my ways like the stubborn old woman I am.

Anyways, when I want to make a gif I start off by capturing screenshots for the frames. I’ve always used GOM Player and their “Burst Capture” option to do this. GOM Player lets you choose the format your images are saved as and where you want the frames saved to. I have a special “captures” folder for temporarily storing the files in. So for example, these are my frames:

A good general tip for making gifs with any software is to use the best quality video you can find. Most of the stuff I make is with 1080p or 720p quality. I find it helps when it comes to colouring and making the gif look clearer.

Once I have my captures, I copy them into my animation “canvas” (or SPP file) which has a base colouring I’ve already made on it. It’s kind of like a PSD on Photoshop. I select my captures and drag them onto the canvas which looks like this:

The canvas is 1080p, the same as the captures but everything will be resized later. I originally captured 100 screenshots here, but I’ve decided to use only 40 in the end because I want to make a 540px width gif. If I used all 100 frames for a 540px gif it would end up being way over the 3mb limit and it wouldn’t work on Tumblr.

Now this is where the time consuming work comes in for me. Once my captures have been copied into the SPP file, they actually become layers which I have to turn into gif frames (if that makes sense). So at the moment they look like this

But I don’t have any actual frames yet at the bottom of the screen. So what I do next is go to the layers tab at the top of the screen and click “hide layers”, making them all invisible

Then basically what I do next is create a frame at the bottom and assign an individual capture to it by clicking the little grey square (making it visible again). So as you can see, my first frame is for my first capture/layer. The next frame will be the capture/layer on top of that.

So yeah, that means I create each frame individually. It’s veeery time consuming but you get quicker at it the more you do it (it’s also faster to do on a laptop touch pad rather than a mouse.).

Once I’ve created all my frames, I reselect the colouring layers at the top so they’re visible on every frame. It should look like this

Next, you need to crop your gif and resize it. I want my gif to be 540px by 270px so I put 54.00 and 27.00 into the crop feature to get it accurate. This allows me to crop the canvas into the right dimensions.

Once I’ve cropped the canvas, I then go to the Image tab at the top and click “Image Size…” and set the image size to 540px by 270px. I usually ignore the Print Size bit.

540px is the best size for a full width Tumblr gif, anything bigger or smaller will make your gif look blurry. This gifset is a good guide for making sure Tumblr doesn’t blur or crop your gifs.

My gif is almost ready to be exported. But I want it to look clearer, so I sharpen all the layer/captures (yes, individually again). I have no settings for sharpening, but I find using the standard “Sharpen” effect under the “Effects” tab is enough.

Once I’ve sharpened everything, I get to the colouring and exporting which is the biggest challenge for me. Photoplus’ options for exporting gifs are limited, so the only decent export options are these

“Web-safe” and “Ordered” makes the gif look like this

“Optimized” and “None” makes it look like this. Okay, but the background looks low quality and patchy

“Optimized” and “Error Diffusion” is the only one that to me, looks the best quality. That’s probably why it produces the bigger file size too (the gif below is 2.78mb)

But there’s other downsides to Error Diffusion which I’m still trying to figure out to this day. Like how it makes parts of the gif “glitch” (that’s the only way I can describe it) or look extra fuzzy. The only way you can fix it is by playing around with the colouring. And by “playing” I mean adjusting and previewing until you want gouge ur eyes out :)

I think that’s why I like giffing The Terror so much, because the film they used has a grainy texture to it, making it easier to hide all my Error Diffusion sins. Though there’s been many times I’ve posted something and hoped no one’s noticed all the mistakes.

Some general tips for colouring

Unless you’re going for a certain effect, emphasise on the colours that are already in the shot. In my gif above for example, I turned up the blues and cyans.

Use Levels or Curves instead of Brightness and Contrast.

Zoom in on your gif to spot any Error Diffusion glitches.

Be mindful about whitewashing POC, especially if you’re following the pastel gif trend.

Look at how other people colour their gifs and use PSDs for reference but don’t rely on them too much.

Colouring can increase or decrease the gif file size. If you need to get below 3mb, try toning down super vibrant colours. If the shot you’re giffing is dark, make it a bit darker. If it’s light, make it a bit lighter.

If all else fails, just make the gif black and white.

Reading all this back makes how I make gifs look like a nightmare lmao. But I’ve been doing it this way since like, 2012 and i love it. I started out making very bad Star Wars and Lady Gaga gifs but as time has gone on and I’ve gotten better, I’ve found I enjoy making things for smaller fandoms much more. I like that if I want a certain set or edit on my blog, I can just go and make it (with varying degrees of success) instead of waiting for someone else to do it.

You appreciate the work that goes into making a movie or show when you make gifs too. Like, you notice subtle little things in the actors performances or something the cinematography is trying to convey. You get to revisit a scene in detail and then share it with everybody else and if you’re lucky, watch them scream in the tags get some nice comments.

There’s lots of other stuff I like about making gifs but I’ve rambled on far too much so I’m just gonna shut up for now. But I think I’ve covered all the important stuff. I don’t know how much of a help I’ve been (there’s still stuff I don’t understand myself) but if there’s anything else you want to know just drop me a message. Good luck with your own gifs!! I’m sure you can do a much better job than me!

#Ask #unspeakablehorror #phew! this is a full on essay i'm sorry #gif making #Serif Photoplus #photoplus #long post

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uncanny-accuracy · 6 years

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Time to spill the tea, y'all

For those of you who know what's going on, cool. That's cool. I don't need to explain. For those of you who don't, you'll find out soon enough if you keep reading.

Now let's not get our panties in a bundle. Redrose is an amazing person and fucking GREAT addition to this fandom. But because of one thing she said, that's not even an opinion, it's FACT, y'all decide to go after her.

So let's spill the tea on me. Yes, me. You read right. I'm gonna tell you why, if anything, you should be attacking me. Because Redrose put up with my shit, and she did it marvelously without anyone but the two of us knowing.

This damned Hell-bent world has a decent human being and y'all are really starting to push her over her limits. After all my bullshit, which is proof Redrose is a good-hearted person, maybe y'all can sit back and let me explain what she meant and why this whole post is relevant. It may not seem so at first, but the beginning of this post DOES further my point later on.

For those of you who remember on Redrose's Instagram, she got an anonymous ask on her tellonym awhile back. Essentially, it said something along the lines of, "Uhh don't mean to be rude but there's already an RA Amino so :/ That's kind of a kick in the dick."

Redrose posted a photo on her story of an Amino invite card to the second RA Amino. But guess who's a leader on the first? This bitch!

I thought it rude or whatever. I was stupid and honestly? Dead fucking wrong.

Here's the screenshot:

That's me. Want to know how Redrose handled this? Fucking beautifully. Wanna know what I did? I was a dick. I went on my art account on Instagram and messaged the Amino invite card to her, no explanation. I don't think she ever put it up. And you know what? Good. Because then I continued to kiss her ass after I realized my Instagram name could be tracked to the watermark on the art posted on my Tumblr account.

Redrose couldn't have missed that watermark. But who know what she did? She didn't say a word. She made the connection of uncanny-accuracy to LowReihn. But like a mature, responsible adult, she didn't say shit.

Next up, we have my main Insta account! Who has no connection to any RA related stuff. But Redrose posted on Instagram a picture of John Flanagan's United States tour dates. I saw one of them was close to me so, because I couldn't find any info, I asked her if SHE could take time out of HER day to help me. I don't know if she was busy, but she did hunt down the info and she posted it for me, no complaints.

It's because of her that I'm meeting Flanagan on the 28th. Without her, I would've never known he was so close. She prioritized me. And yeah, sure, my main Insta has no connection to LowReihn, but she still did it.

Redrose is always answering asks, responding to comments, not just posting RA content to entertain but RA content to help others. Wanna learn about the Ranger knives? She's got you. Wanna know tour dates? She's got you. Wanna know more about a meetup or larp group? She's got you.

So let's move onto the Middle Ages stuff. Redrose made a comment that she didn't find Trans Alyss realistic because the stories are set in the Middle Ages. My opinion? She's right. That's not even an opinion. She's right. She's speaking fact. But that's not to say she's going against the LGBTQ+ community, because she's not.

Speaking as a nonbinary pansexual, I'm going to basically repeat what Redrose said. And y'all can't tell me I'm homophobic or transphobic or whatever, because I'm literally a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Ranger's Apprentice is set in the Middle Ages. Yes, it's fantasy, but it is still set in that time. LBGTQ+ was not openly expressed because it was wrong back then. Honestly? You would've been killed. Alyss being male to female isn't realistic, but I’m not against it. Redrose isn’t either. If RA was set in more modern times, then yeah. It could work well. But the fact remains that it's in the Middle Ages. Alyss would've been killed if she was trans. The same goes for anyone who's found to be gay, lesbian, bisexual (not that they knew what that was), etc.

Sure, characters could be a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Redrose isn't saying they can't be. I'm not staying that either. Will could be pan. Crowley could be gay or ace. Halt could be demi. Who knows? Only Flanagan! But they'll all written as straight because it's the Middle Ages.

Redrose is not against the LGBTQ+ community. And coming from someone who is a part of that community, I don't see why y'all are butthurt. I like headcanoning the characters as a gay or pan or trans or whatever. Both of us are just saying that it’s not really that accurate, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it or that we’re going to attack you. Because frankly? I’ve draw Halt x Crowley before. Redrose is a fan of Cralt and Will x Gilan, last I checked. I’m sure Crowley x Duncan is one she’s mentioned too.

Redrose has dealt with my shit on multiple occasions and continues to be nice to me whenever I reach out. And if she sees this and knows all my accounts now, then good. Because it isn't gonna change the way she responds to me. She'll continue answering when I ask questions. She'll continue being a decent human being, because she is a decent human being. Just like nothing happened, she'll be mature and honest and marvelously patient. She's a beautiful person inside and out.

Unlike you guys who attacked her. So let's sit back and think.

Who's the real monster here? Because it sure as hell ain’t Redrose.

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