#usually that measn im more regulated. somehow. lol.

[weathernerdmando]

Me: despite knowing that I will be in a lot of pain later if I don't do it for the five hours shift, I don't put my knee braces on.

Me five hours later with my entire lower body in enough pain to make me want to not walk around at all:

#heds #probably #hypermobility spectrum disorder #hypermobility #pots possibly #apparently i was around an 8ish on the pain scale when i asked my fiancee to see where #“pushing through it but having to sacrifice some things getting done tonight because i wont do a lot of it otherwise bc of the pain and #being tired“ was on the pain scale. apparently the way i said it described around an 8. i thought i was naybe at a 4/5? lmao #i apparently had gotten to the oint of out of it/derealizing/disassociating/something when i got to my car #took a half hour to just drive the mostly empty interstate and blast music at full volume #and then called my fiancee when i felt real/like a person/aware again #basically when i could turn the music down bc it began to be irritating and overloading instead of comforting. #usually that measn im more regulated. somehow. lol. #chronic pain #if i dont wear knee braces tommorow this only gets WORSE lmaok #also i think i might be developing allodynia or whatever its spelled when touch causes pain? #specifically on my legs. no knee braces means any contact on legs hurts. including clothes 😭