#will you get an answer in a minute or a year even i don't know

[blkkizzat]

❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜

PART 2

part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' series

⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 (IN STOCK NOW!!) | PART 3 (coming soon!)

⋙ product description (summary): okay so you finally realized how badly you fucked up. but is it too late? will choso even talk to you now? has he moved on for good or is it that you now have to worry about someone else moving onto him? ⋙ side effects (tw): more drama. more angst. teasing. jealousy. thirsting. mentions of sex and oral sex. intoxication with drug & alcohol use. sending nudes. y/n is still a brat. bitchy sorority sisters. party culture. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 8.2k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. i appreciate y'all liking this sm hope you don't mind i split this up more, but the second part was getting too unruly in length lol

Plug!Choso who you thought forgetting about would be relatively easy. Overwhelmed with the sheer amount of new presidential duties, you had no shortage of various meetings to keep you occupied. Even so, Choso had a way of popping into your mind as the most routine things would remind you of him. 

Yet now you couldn’t even go get a fresh set of nails without expecting to see his tinted blacked-out sedan parked outside waiting for you. Scrolling socials had also become annoying as you’d see a post and immediately want to send it to Choso— your sorority sisters would think you were gross if you sent them mukbang videos. You couldn’t even bake anything anymore, especially anything chocolate, without reminding yourself of how much Yuji hated nuts in his chocolate chip cookies. 

Or even now when you had been walking across campus with your sisters and chatting about the massive proposal plan of next year’s activities. A daunting task on its own which you had to submit to your national chapter by the end of the month. In fact, there were a lot of tedious things you realized you’d now be responsible for as president. 

However, all of that flew out of your mind when a car sped by blasting a familiar rock song— one that Choso always played. 

Stopping in your tracks you whipped your head around but the music was coming from a completely different car. The disappointment in your chest felt like you were suffocating.

The song was the first one from Choso’s ‘stoner emo boy playlist’ that you’d actually admitted you liked so he made sure to play it whenever you came around. You didn’t think you were official enough to have a song, it felt like you did when you’d heard it just now. 

Although what pained you more in the moment was the fact Choso hadn’t even bothered to text you since the day of the brunch. Your pride and guilt kept you from texting him initially but after the first week you caved and did what you once thought was unthinkable— texting a guy first. 

You’d thought he’d answer instantly, happy you’d finally forgiven him for nearly ruining your brunch and you did want to apologize for missing Yuji’s game. But when 20 minutes turned into an hour and an hour turned into the entire day you realized he was ignoring you.

Choso was a dealer. 

He always had his phone on him. In fact, Choso used to respond to you so fast you wondered if he’d always kept your messages up on his screen.

The seriousness hits home when more of your texts go unanswered as the days go by. 

You huffed. 

Two weeks had passed since you first reached out and apparently Choso was still giving you the cold shoulder. Unconsciously chewing on your manicured french tips, your intrusive thoughts from painting the absolute worst scenarios. 

This was around the time of day he’d usually be on campus and you’d meet up in the empty garage. 

Would he be there now doing another deal? 

Or giving ‘discounts’ to another girl?

You shook your head. Choso wasn’t like that. 

You knew he wasn’t. Then again he had stuffed your guts in less than 10 minutes of knowing each other.

But you were the exception right? Choso wouldn’t move on just like that, would he? 

Rejection wasn’t something you had dealt with often in your life or well, ever. 

You’d gotten everything you wanted since you were little whether it was something you worked for or something given to you. 

So what if you didn’t have Choso?

You should be content with life. 

You had everything you’d ever wanted right now. 

You were pretty, got damn near perfect grades and now had the title of sorority president for fuckssake! 

Meeting someone like Choso was never part of your plans and didn’t fit into them either, so you had never really considered what the both of you were to be anything long-term. 

Nor did you ever stop to consider what he thought of your relationship. 

You thought he’d lick his wounds for a few days and forgive you. However with each passing day the thought he might really be done with you sinks in more and more.

Regardless of the legion of frat guys who would jump at the chance to date you, the only guy you really wanted right now apparently wanted fuck all to do with you. 

Ok so maybe you deserve the silent treatment. 

A lot. 

You never been that big of a bitch to him before. But you really had panicked when he showed up out of the blue with your parents on the way! Also if he didn’t go and threaten the DJ like he did???

You sighed. 

No, even under more peaceful circumstances the end result was you weren’t going to leave to go to Yuji’s game. You couldn’t blame him for being furious with you as you knew how protective he was of his younger brother but you at least wish he’d hear you out.

Just for one last time and maybe you could make it up to Yuji too? 

Get him a nice gift for missing his little league game and bake him chocolate chip cookies—without the nuts. You wanted to hear him adorably ramble on which would always be accompanied by animated hand movements while he gave you the rundown. Yuji often even roped in Choso, who would be all too happy to play whatever role or prop Yuji needed him for. 

Their identical grins, goofy and filled with joy never failed to put a smile on your face. A smile which came easy as there was never any demands put on you when you were with them. No pretending for the sake of appearances, no worrying about social standing and no expectations for favors. 

With them you were just you and they had accepted you.

But had you accepted them? 

Shit. 

Yeah you had fucked up big. 

You knew you needed to talk to Choso and If you weren’t all but certain Choso would slam the door in your face, you’d have half a mind to go pop up at his house. 

Although maybe if Yuji ans—

“—-Like HELLO!? Earth to Prez!”

Your train of thought abruptly comes to an end when one of your sorority sisters— Brianna— rudely snaps their fingers in your face. 

Bitch. 

She’d been bitter ever since she’d lost the presidency to you. 

Elections were over so you didn't have to worry about staying on everyone's good side like you had been doing for the last 3 years of being super sweet and non confrontational. Even so, snatching up a fellow sister certainly wouldn’t make a good impression for a newly appointed president.

“What IS it Brie!?” 

Turning to face her you had no choice but to keep your cool.

“Don’t give me attitude! You’re the one not paying attention, space case.”  

Brianna huffed accusingly. 

“Yeah, Brie’s kinda right Prez, you’ve been a little bit distracted lately.” 

Another one of your sisters chimed in—immediately looking down when your eyes narrowed on her.

“Don't tell me the pressure is already getting to ‘Little Miss Legacy'? Or—”

Brianna flips her hair with a sly smile before continuing.

“—is it just that you miss your burnout stalker boy?” 

“E-Excuse me!?”

Extremely disarmed by the allegation, you were not expecting in a million years the very person you were thinking of to be brought up like this by Brianna of all people. 

“You know—you’ve been acting off since the brunch a few weeks ago and we used to be practically swimming in za—way more o’s than we paid for. You must have been doing something to get all that from that future convict and he must be pretty pissed with you if you haven’t been able to get anymore since.”

The rest of your sisters were gagged at the accusations Brianna was tossing your way as it was  true that your supply had been dwindling. Their eyes darted between the two of you but mostly focused on you waiting for your response. 

You ignore them though as all your ire was on Brianna.

This whore had some fucking nerve speaking about Choso like that. 

The thought of knocking the smug look off Brianna’s face is almost too tempting —presidency be damned. 

Yet this time your own guilt stops you.

Too little, much too late for you to be standing up for Choso now the way you had dismissed him so harshly in front of Brianna and the rest of your sisters just a few weeks ago. You could only be mad at yourself, your own actions showed them how to treat Choso.

That didn’t mean you were going to let her get away with it without a proper lashing though. 

“Listen—Brie, Little Miss Legacy is busy juggling the presidency, a 3.8 gpa, volunteer work and planning every goddamn sorority event worth attending. As for you? Well I heard you’d been pretty busy these days juggling your creepy ass T.A. Noaya’s balls because you were going to fail Biology again for the third time—so do you really want to talk about pressure or whose fucking whom for what?”

Standing up for yourself wasn’t something you ever did in an effort to be likable and so Briana—as well as the rest of your sisters—were stunned into silence. 

Even if her fucking for grades had been no secret, it wasn’t something anyone talked about out loud and yet you’d gladly air her out again for insulting Choso.

“Urgh, whatever! Anyways while you were daydreaming we were planning Jeremy's birthday party on Saturday.”

You rolled your eyes at the inattention to some random frat guy’s bday being the reason for this whole confrontation.  

“Oookay and—?”

“—and we need you to get some more za from your stalk— er um, I mean your plug...” 

Brianna quickly corrects herself seeing your eyes flare.  

“Jermey wants a joint filled pinata and don’t have nearly enough right now to roll all those joints.”

You suck your teeth in annoyance. 

Of course it all had to come back around to Choso.

“I’m not talking to him right now. We’ll find someone else.” 

Well it was half true, more like he wasn’t talking to you. 

You tried not to pout and completely give yourself away at how much it really was affecting you you.

“Well start again, Prez! You know his stuff is the best!”

“We already promised everyone we’d have it!” 

“Please Prez!”

The rest of your sorority sisters chimed in.  

“Yeah Prez it shouldn’t be a problem. Send him an ass pic or something, I bet he would respond to that.” 

The rest of your sisters giggled in agreement. 

Little did they know you had already sent Choso nudes 8 days ago, which when you checked Snap last just 10 minutes ago he still hadn’t opened yet. 

You’d die before admitting that though.

“Fine. I’ll figure it out.” 

“Knew you would Prez!” 

Brianna tossed you a fake smile as she turned around and your sisters followed suit walking back towards the sorority house. The chatter now moves on to drink options as the previous conversation is instantly forgotten. 

You still flip the bitch off behind her back though before you catch up to join the conversation lest these dumb bitches skimp out on drinks for more decorations and have you all drinking Monarch vodka again—gross, much more so than a mukbang video.

Plug!Choso who later that night has you laying on your bed staring at your phone suspended over you, your finger hovering over the send button. 

What if he ignored you this time too? 

Worse—what if he had finally blocked you?

Well all your messages had gone through so far even though his read receipts were off. 

Choso hadn’t blocked you yet. 

Only two days had passed since you last texted him but scrolling through your history the wall of blue taking over the entire screen had you feeling vexed.

Hadn’t Choso punished you enough? 

Biting your lip in apprehension you hit send. 

You almost dropped your phone on your face. Sitting up in your bed you stare at his text incredulously as the sticker shock of Choso jacking up the price by $150 hits you.

You deserved that, you supposed. 

But fuck you knew you’d have to come up out of pocket yourself for the extra and you couldn’t admit to your sisters why the price had gone up so much again.

At least he was answering you though. 

You threw your phone across your bed. 

Well that went super. 

You’d hope you’d have the chance to talk about things while he was responding to you, maybe get him to video call you? You knew he still wouldn’t be thrilled with you but you didn’t expect his responses to be that short once he finally answered. 

Choso always over texted you if anything, sending paragraphs at times so these clipped messages were like tiny daggers pricking you with each one you received.  

You didn’t think you could handle him being mean to you like this for much longer. 

Getting a taste of your own medicine fucking sucked.

With a sigh you had decided to push it to the back of your mind. It was Tuesday and he wasn’t even coming until Friday.

That’s when you realized Choso implied he was coming to you. 

As in your sorority house. 

On Friday. 

The night of the Barbie’s Dreamhouse Kegger. 

Goddamnit.

Plug!Choso who shows up to your sorority house on Friday night just before midnight when the kegger is at its peak. Choso doesn’t give a single fuck this time around that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his dark tattered jeans, matching leather jacket, heavy eyeliner and metal piercings amongst all the colorful and peppy pastel attired party-goers. 

Choso waltzes right through the front door like he owns the place.

“Oh! It's you! Finally!” 

Flipping her hair behind her to show off her ample cleavage, your sorority sister Brianna bounces over to Choso who continues to look past her as his eyes scan the foyer.

To be honest he wasn’t even sure she was talking to him until she mentioned you.

“You’re the plug, right? Choso? Here for Prez, hmm?” 

Brianna appraised Choso with a flirty glance and a smile. 

“I’m Brianna, but everyone calls me Brie. She’s outside with her boys! I’ll take you there, kay?”

Her boys?

Brianna batts her eyes sweetly to complement her peppy demeanor. 

Choso simply nods, appearing unphased as Brianna grabs him by the arm of his jacket to lead him through the sea of people crowding the hall and out to the backyard. The very same backyard where you had rejected and humiliated him to save your own superficial social standing just a few weeks ago. 

Of course he hadn’t forgotten. 

Choso noted this time though the expansive yard had a completely different vibe from the pretentious scene he’d walked into before. The backyard was now filled with pink inflatable decorations and rose gold plastered party supplies, trading the expensive crystal for matching pink solo cups and decorative flower displays for shotskis. 

Yet Choso’s comparisons end once he finally spots you in the crowd. 

Playing beer pong with some frat fucks, carefree like you had zero concerns (or thoughts of him) in the world as you taunted your opponents. 

Choso’s eyes narrow when you—clad in a scandalously small pink sparkly tube top—brought a dainty manicured nail to your chest and seductively dragged it down your cleavage to tug at the hem of the fabric. The tops of your tits swell over the edge of the material provocatively as you tease the chance they might altogether spill out onto the table if you pulled any lower.

The plan worked and your opponents thoroughly distracted missed their shots much to your amused squeals and Choso’s growing irritation. His brow twitched as he noticed the rest of your outfit which barely provided any more coverage. 

The matching mini skirt you wore rested low enough on your curvy hips to show the very edges of your thong but high enough on your thighs that your cheeks were nearly peeking out just from the slight bend you took as you aimed to take your next shot. Your pink jeweled belly ring (that he’d bought you) and gem adorned nude fishnets lead down to chunky hot pink glitter pumps only calling more attention to your lower half as they were illuminated by the outdoor tiki lights.

Why were you dressed like such a slut and letting those greasy shitheads drool all over you? 

Your beer pong partner was clearly exaggerating his drunkenness for an excuse to feel you up as his hand rested dangerously close to the top of your ass as you took your next shot. 

Were you that clueless?

Choso’s jaw clenches as you allow yourself to be pulled in by the shoulder tits first into a celebratory hug after landing a cup off a bounce, thus removing two. The way you’d casually let those assholes gawk and grab at you when you wouldn’t even make eye contact with him in public pisses him off like none other and reminds him why he had decided to cut you off after all.

This time though Choso doesn’t march over, masking his resentment with nonchalance as he considers leaving altogether. 

Sure he needed the money—but it wouldn’t make or break him in the long run. 

Keeping the big picture in mind, Choso had Yuji to think of and he couldn’t afford to catch a case over your slutty ass in case he actually gave into the urge to knock some random frat fucker’s teeth out.

Yet Choso switches his attention back to Brianna when she returns with a beer filled cup for him and her sheer top unbuttoned even lower. 

Oh? 

Choso grins. 

Plug!Choso who you finally notice standing near the back door of your sorority house next to—Brianna?!…urgh! 

Her obnoxious high-pitched laughter loudly cut even through the music and party chatter to draw your attention over. 

What the hell was Choso even doing with her?! 

You grit your teeth as Choso takes the drink. You watch him as he reclines against the house and cheered cups together. Brianna is twirling her hair innocently as she flirts with him, giggling like an idiot. 

One without an ounce of shame at that. 

You seethe as she clutches onto his bicep pulling herself closer and resting her tits on his arm when she pretends to momentarily lose her balance. 

Stupid cunt ass bitch. 

You know it's just to spite you too. 

Of course Brianna still didn’t know of the true nature of your relationship with Choso for certain but a backstabbing whore like her would try to fuck him solely off an inkling. 

If anything just so she could say your ‘stalker’ was now hers.

She was just using him! Did Choso not see that?! 

Your beer pong partner slides his arm around you to tell you it’s your turn again but you don’t even spare him a backwards glance as you shrug him off. Abandoning the game and ignoring his puzzled calls after you. 

Truthfully it doesn’t even register as you are on your warpath with Choso and Brianna in your sights, stomping directly towards them like you were on a mission. You were too, as far as you were concerned, determined to break that shit up expeditiously. 

Especially now as you see Brianna airdropping her contact info to Choso.

Stopping directly in front of them you’re far too tipsy to prevent your souring mood from spreading all over your face when they both seem to not notice you right away.  

You loudly clear your throat.

“AHEM!”

Staring at Choso expectantly your lip curls when it's Brianna who greets you first instead.

“Oh Prez, my B girly! We didn’t notice you there!” 

“Whatever, Brie.”

You sneer at her. 

Although Brianna only giggles again, feigning innocence and leaning into Choso a bit more. 

The whore was still touching up on him.

“I was just keeping Cho here company until we found you.”

Bullshit, they were searching fo– Hol’ the fuck up—CHO?! 

Did this whore just call him Cho?! 

That was your fucking nickname for him! Only you and Yuji were allowed to call him that!

Oh Brianna was just begging for that ass whooping, dying for it even. 

Swaying on your feet, your buzz only intensifies your anger and folding your arms in front of you serves two purposes at the moment: 

To keep your balance as you try to prevent your heels from sinking into the grass— but more importantly— because the urge to yank a bitch was escalating to the point your hands were now twitching. 

You had drank way too much in your nervousness waiting for Choso.  

You thought a quick round of beer pong would settle your anxieties as you’d been hanging out near the front door all day and night not knowing when he’d show up. However time had slipped away from you and one game had turned into three. 

You didn’t even really know the guys you were playing with, just some random freshman!

Of course once you finally let your guard down Choso would not only show up but be hanging out with your biggest opp!

But what really had you about to crack—Choso was taking his sweet time in acknowledging you as he appeared to be more concerned with checking Brianna’s contact info than speaking to you right in front of him. “Ight, got it.” 

Choso confirmed and slid his phone back into his jacket before pulling out a joint as he finally made eye contact with you.

THE FUCK!? HE ACTUALLY SAVED IT?! 

Plug!Choso who stares at you with a condescending smirk as his eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement before exhaling smoke towards the sky.

You bite your cheek to hold back your angry tears, you weren’t about to give Brianna the satisfaction. She could fuck right the hell off as far as you were concerned, only wanting to speak to Choso who was currently looking at you like you were the one interrupting something.

“W-Why didn't you text me you were here?! I would have come outside!” 

Your words fumble out of you drunkenly, not sounding one bit as smooth and unbothered as you hoped.

“For why tho? Don’t you have me silenced anyway, Prez?”

You stiffened. 

Even if he wasn’t silenced right now you couldn’t deny you had previously silenced him before the last few weeks of trying to get him to talk to you. 

“Yea figured—so thought it’d be best to come inside…”

Choso exhales smoke through his nose this time, leering down at you as he passes the joint to Brianna who eagerly takes it.

“You really think I’m still tryna wait for you?”

Choso’s words are crushing as the double meaning behind them is not lost on you. Parting your glossed lips you couldn’t even form a sentence as your mouth had gone completely dry.

Brows raised Choso is practically daring you to challenge him. 

But you’re frozen. 

Ironic, because his eyes are all but intensely burning into yours as his accusingly cruel question penetrated you like a hot knife to butter. 

However, bringing you back, Brianna interrupts the moment—because of course she does—not being able to read the damn room nor handle the attention being away from her for 5 fucking seconds.

“You know Prez… You’re going to be pretty busy with all your responsibilities soon...”

Brianna taps her stiletto shaped nail to her lips in faux contemplation. Her smarmy expression gives away her true intentions resembling every bit of the evil bitch she is. 

“...Annnnnd it won’t look good for our lovely new president to put herself at risk by getting us drugs, right? Sooooo, I was telling Cho here how I’m going to be the one taking over for you now.”

Brianna coyly tucks a few loose strands of her long tawny locks behind her ear. 

“Who knows? I might be able to get a better discount than you too.”

Passing the blunt back to Choso she winks at him. Choso merely chuckles, shaking his head at the implications before taking another hit.

And yeah that’s what fucking did it alright.

More than ready to give Brianna exactly what the fuck she’d been asking for you wordlessly lunge forward to snatch her up by those raggedy ass microlink extensions she couldn’t stop touching.

However your trajectory is thrown when you feel Choso grab you by your wrist. Pulling you in towards him, the action confused both you and Brianna—who didn’t know how close she was to actually kissing dirt.

Choso passes the joint back to Brianna, telling her to keep it as a ‘sample’ he turns his attention back towards you.

“Come on Prez, I got places to be. Get me my money now before I charge your ass the full stack.”

You both leave Brianna standing there dumbfounded as Choso drags you back into the house. 

Plug!Choso guides you through the crowd of your sisters that are all now much too drunk and self-involved in their own good time to care about the pierced n’ scary dark haired man towing their president behind him. 

Reaching the staircase Choso motions for you to go ahead of him and you nod dumbly as you obediently climb the stairs trying not to trip. 

Urging you along, Choso is right on your tail— quite literally, as he tries to simultaneously avoid staring at your ass cheeks jiggling out from under your skirt—but more importantly tries to keep any other wandering eyes below from getting a peek as well. 

Choso places a hand on your waist, both to keep you from falling and to move you along quicker. Warm tingles radiate out from where his hands touch your bare skin yet he instantly releases you once you reach the top.

You can’t help but to pout at the loss of contact.

“Which one?”

Choso still feels all business though as he walks ahead of you like he can’t wait to wrap this up and get you the fuck out of his life again.

Plug!Choso who you usher into your room before closing the door. The party seems distant as only the faint sounds of the base bumping against the walls reach the sanctuary of your room. Still holding the knob you’re leaning with your back against the doorframe as your body is still pumping insane amounts of adrenaline through you. 

Nearly fighting Brianna, Choso finally touching you, on top of being drunk had your mind going into overdrive especially since it seemed like Choso would leave as soon as the deal was over.

Would he really take the money and go just like that?

Choso’s face is unreadable as he strolls deeper into your room and casually looks around. You had always come over to his place and he would have never in a million years dreamed of being able to see your room in your actual sorority house. 

It was so you though. 

Tidy and adorned in your favorite colors, your walls are decorated with pictures of celebrities, friends and various moodboards. Not to mention it smelled like you. The scent of your sugary perfume with notes of vanilla and saffron assaulted Choso's senses making it seem a bit warmer in the room than it actually was.

“Yo Prez, the money.” 

His patience for the situation is dwindling. He has to get out and fast. 

Choso doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t leave soon.

Yet you were plotting the exact opposite and you couldn’t let him leave so easily now that you finally had him alone after all this time. 

Armed with a plan you nod as you scoot by him and over to your vanity to retrieve the cash. Acting clueless as to which drawer you put it in, you search them all as you bend over to check one of the drawers at the very bottom. 

Choso swallows hard.

Your ass–with plenty of curves to spare–is on display for him as well as your sheer pink thong that teasingly pokes out between your crystal studded fishnets. 

You had to be doing this on purpose. 

Swishing side to side your skirt raises up a bit higher with every shift of your hips while your thong strains tighter across the print of your fat pussy lips threatening to snap altogether.

Akin to a seductive pendulum as you sway before Choso completely entrancing him. 

Only you could ever affect him in this way.

After what feels like years do you finally locate the money, a sizable stack of cash composed of 20 dollar bills.

“Found it! In the top drawer all along, imagine that!”

Smirking you plop down in your vanity chair crossing your legs not missing how Choso’s gaze lingered, even if just the tiniest moment, on your thighs.

“Took ya long enough…” 

Choso mumbles. There's no real bite to his words this time though. He’s holding his backpack close to hide his half chub while he removes 3 hefty bags of kush from his backpack to toss on the desk beside you.

Reaching for the cash his annoyance is evident on his face when you jerk away from him. Leaning back and fanning the bills across your chest, you wave them tauntingly in the air.

“Stop playin’ around. Not in the fuckin mood, I swear.”

“Playing?”

You question acting coy.

“This is just business right Choso?”

You sat up as if you were taking this seriously at all and Choso is unamused as he reaches for the money again. 

And you snatch it back yet again like a fucking brat. 

“I’m practically dropping a stack on this–thanks to your new “tax” and all. How do I know if it's any good?”

Clearly your plan is working as you continue to push Choso’s buttons pretending you aren’t excited from him towering over you now.

“Cut the games, Prez. Ya know my shit is always pressure.”

You act contemplative as your eyes lazily travel up his tense muscular form appreciating the view after not seeing him for so long.

“Hmmm, do I though?”

Choso scoffs, growing tired of your games. 

That’s all he ever was to you, a game.

“Like I said, just business. Or are you telling me you weren’t going to count the cash to make sure it's all there before you left?”

Damn. Well you got 'em there. 

Choso rubs the back of his neck before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Tch—let’s make this quick then, Prez.”

Plug!Choso who after grabbing one of the bags of weed off your vanity takes a seat on your bed. He shrugs off his jacket to retrieve a pipe from the inner pocket and impatiently extends his hand hurrying you with a quick beckoning gesture.

“Gimme your grinder.”

Rolling your eyes you haphazardly toss it over to him. However, unbeknownst to you, the top was loose and crumbles of kush spilled out of it and onto your bed when he failed to catch it.

“Nice looking out Cho, great catch.”

Even though the poor throw and loose top had been your fault, the fact he apparently couldn’t wait to fucking leave along with you still pissed with how he flirted with Brianna makes you lash out. 

“You fucking serious right now? I’m always lookin’ out for your ungrateful ass.”

Obnoxiously you huff, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him.

Ungrateful? For what!? 

He hadn’t been ‘looking out’ for the last month, he’d been completely ignoring you! 

“Heh, like I didn't just stop you from turning that gouda chick into actual cheese from the way you went at her?”

You press your lips together firmly to keep from cracking a smile at his play on Brianna’s nickname. You’re honestly still salty he had even been around her at all getting so chummy. He’d always talked about how stupid your sorority sisters were, it didn’t make sense why he let her flirt with him like that.

You’re also mad he didn’t at least let you pop her one good time.

“The bitches name is Brie. You should know, you were ‘oh so concerned’ about saving her number and giving her a discount.”

Choso looks at you like you’re an idiot as he shakes his head. He stops packing the bowl to throw you his phone.

“Whose number?”

Frowning, you already know the passcode so you unlock it right away. 

Sure enough there was no Brie nor Brianna in his contact lists. Not even her number showed up when you searched his phone for it in case it was under a completely different alias. 

He’d never even saved it. 

The smug smirk on Choso’s face tells you he knew what she was doing all along and got you all riled up on purpose.

In fact, Choso had recognized Brianna’s ploy immediately. You had previously mentioned something about an annoying n’ bitchy rival. 

Besides, there was no other plausible reason for a dumb sorority bitch like her to be talking to him at all—much less throwing herself at him so aggressively.

“Doesn’t feel good now does it, Prez?”

Your face is on fire and you turn away from Choso totally humiliated. You had played right into his hands.

“Hmph! Don’t get cocky, I wanted a reason to beat her ass anyway.”

You puff your cheeks into a pout that Choso can’t help but to chuckle at, shaking his head at you again. 

You were a huge brat that's for damn sure.

“Well, it certainly looks like you found one.”

You’re quiet finally as you rake over his words in your mind. 

‘I’ve always been looking out for you.’

Not only did he not save Brianna’s number there’s a high probability he just kept you from being kicked out of the entire sorority and maybe school too. Fighting was a huge no-no and you could have gotten expelled. Apparently jealous with rage you were ready to risk it all at that moment without even thinking of the consequences. 

Fuck.

Choso had in fact still been looking out for you—even when you didn’t deserve it. 

Plug!Choso who accepts your silence is a sign of your defeat and after a few minutes you move from your desk to sit next to him on your bed as he finishes grinding and packing the bowl. 

“Brats get greens this time.”

I’m paying a premium for all this shit, I better get greens. 

But you hold in that thought, not wanting to give him any more lip in the moment as you’re the one left licking your wounds this time.

Like a gentleman Choso holds the bowl for you and lights it as you take a hit. He tries not to notice how well your glossed lips are wrapping around the phallic mouthpiece as searingly thick smoke flows into your lungs. 

Damn, this shit was dank as hell. 

You’re doing your best to hold it in but your lungs are burning as you watch Choso take a hit himself. Not being able to keep in your coughs for a second more you’re left signaling at Choso to ‘wait a sec’ when he holds the pipe out back to you.

Fuck, it was even stronger than what you remembered.

“See Prez? True pressure.”

You shrug at him trying to save face although your eyes are watering, already tinting a bright shade of red.

“Uhh duh, I always cough Choso. I’ll still need a few more hits to know for certain.”

Choso rolls his eyes.

You take another hit—a smaller one this time—before slowly falling back onto your bed.  

Your eyes close as your high settles in and you debate on what to say next without fucking things up even more with your slick ass mouth. 

However your concentration is diminishing quickly as your buzz makes your senses overly aware of Choso’s intense body heat radiating off him, your thighs practically touching. 

The weed swirling together with the alcohol in your system makes you all the more sensitive. Your mind floats away as your gaze is hyper focused on how the lean muscles of Choso’s toned back and broad shoulders ripple under the thin black tee he wears.

God, Choso is so sexy. 

Your legs squeeze together to calm the burning in your core just from the thought. You want nothing more than to drag him down to bed with you and melt into his embrace—but there's an invisible force field around him that you can’t reach. 

You’re almost certain he would recoil from you if you tried now. 

There’s a conversation you needed to have first but you didn’t know how to start it without fucking things up even more. 

The result is an awkward silence that uncomfortably settles in the room as Choso finishes the bowl off himself. 

Never one to smoke too much of his own product he’s only indulging now to temper his mood. 

Choso doesn’t know why he’s still here, all good sense in him telling him to take the money and get the hell out. Yet he knows he’s hoping for something–anything–to show him you’ve changed even though all signs so far tonight have been showing him you haven’t.

You’re still cowering away from any accountability and he is determined not to give you an easy out this time. 

And it’s for that exact reason Choso can’t look over at you right now.

Otherwise he’s sure to see your tiny pink top that had started to roll up exposing the glitter adorned skin of your underboob. Or how your slow exhales cause your soft stomach to dip temptingly showing off the pink crystal belly button ring he gave you. 

The sight of your fishnets brushing against one another out of the corner of his eye alone is enough to know he wouldn’t be able resist grasping onto your supple thighs. God how he would relish the way his fingers would indent into them. He wanted to rip those slutty fishnets right off of you so his head could push your skirt up even further on your hips while he drowned himself in your wet cunt—not even stopping when you would cry from overstimulation.

Plug!Choso, who is thankful his distraction at long last comes in the form of the faded gray blue fabric by your pillow. 

“Yo!..Is that my shit?”

Eyes opening wide, you pale upon seeing Choso reach for the crumpled up shirt. Choso unravels the tee to confirm it is in fact his shirt—one of his favorite band tees at that. 

“Oh, is that yours?”

Choso deadpans.

“So you listen to RHCP now?”

“Maybe…” 

You grab it from him and toss it to the side less you break down and confess to him you had slept in it most nights. Not only have you slept in it but you do in fact listen to RHCP now, especially when you workout.

However with this Choso has hit his limit. 

To him you hadn’t changed. 

Could you not even own up to the tiniest of things?

He couldn’t let himself get sucked back into your toxic web, not anymore. The longer he stayed the more likely that was.

“S’all good, Prez. Keep it.”

Choso grabs his jacket.

“Listen, I gotta g–”

“—w-wait!” 

You grab the other end of his jacket. You still find it difficult to find the right words but you had to say something. 

It was now or never.

“W-Wait… ah, at least before you go…l-let me know how Yuji’s game went?”

You meekly ease into the question but see Choso go ridgid at the mention regardless. 

For now he relents and stays seated. Although a few minutes pass before he speaks.

“He won, of course. MVP of the season.”

You smile genuinely at that but Choso isn’t looking at you— too pained by the memories that began to bubble up again like bile in his throat.

“Awe, that's so great! I knew he would! I’m so happy for him.”

Choso grits his teeth as he turns back to you, his anger evident in his entire being as every muscle in him tenses.

“Are you? So that’s how you treat someone you’re happy for? Really?!”

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond.

“Yuji’s a strong kid— much stronger than me. Honestly, I didn’t even think he minded you weren’t there as he was all focus and excitement to play that day—”

You let out a quiet exhale in relief though any consolation you felt was instantly shattered as Choso continued. 

“But when I put him to bed that night. H-He..He’d asked why you weren’t there…He asked if you were gone now like our parents. Yuji wouldn’t believe you’d miss it otherwise.”

Choso struggles to say the last bit and maintain eye contact with you. 

Every moment you gaze into his eyes though was pure torture as you’re racked with even more guilt.

“Choso I–”

“I’m so fuckin’ tired of all your fuckin’ excuses!”

You’re silent. It’s so strange to see him this upset you don’t know what to say.

“I’d ask you if you’d even considered the abandonment issues that kid already carries but you don’t. You don’t fill that fuckin’ superficial lil’ head of yours with anything beyond yourself!”

Finishing what he had to say, Choso gathers up his jacket and backpack, stuffing it full with the stack of cash on the vanity—not even bothering to count it.

Momentarily dumbfounded, you're scrambling from the bed to block his path. 

“C-Come on, Choso! I didn’t want to abandon him or you! I tried to call you and I texted you so much these past few weeks to talk!”

Choso isn’t impressed.

“And not one text actually had the words ‘I’m sorry’ in it. Not that it would have cut it this time.”

You're reduced to silence for the umpteenth time tonight. 

You wreck your brain knowing most of your texts had been focused on baiting him to respond to you but fuck—did you really not even apologize? 

“But I am sorry!”

Choso’s gaze is cold and distant, so foreign in comparison to the warmth you’d taken for granted before.

“Whatever you say, Prez.”

There it is again. You’ve grown to resent the title, the job, everything about it.

“Just stop calling me that, okay?!”

You’re trying hard to fight back the tears that threateningly pool in the corners of your eyes.

“What Prez? Why, it aint all that they cracked it up to be?”

“N-No… it’s n-not… I actually hate it and I hate being here.”

Your voice is hardly above a whisper as you direct your words towards the ground. You didn't want Choso to see your glassy eyes even if he’d noticed the cracks in your voice. 

Plug!Choso who regards you with skepticism but curiosity nonetheless. So at long last you decided to be honest with both him and yourself aloud for the first time.

But it didn’t mean shit if you wouldn’t do something about it.

“Then quit.”

Choso says to you like it’s the most obvious answer in the world as your head snaps up incredulously.

“H-huh? W-What?!”

“You heard me princess— quit.”

Could you really just quit? 

Truthfully, you had never considered it an option. The expectations put on you by your sorority sisters, your parents and the plans you had made for yourself had all led you to the commitments and responsibilities you had now. 

How could you just let them all down by walking away from it all?  

“Choso— I heard you..b-but I can’t, you don’t understand I–”

“—No, I understand better than you do, princess. You spent so much time with me and Yuji because you hate this sorority bullshit, you can’t stand any of these bitches and now you just agreed to be president of your own goddamn misery!”

Reading you for filth, Choso stares at you expectantly but you avoid his gaze.

Your nails suddenly becoming all the more interesting as you fumble with them.  

“–Ight then.”

Choso doesn’t want to argue with you any longer. 

You’re still full of excuses to his disappointment. If you wanted to be something you weren't that badly, then that was your own prerogative he decided as he brushed past you.

“N-No! P-Please, don’t leave Cho!”

There's clear desperation in your voice. You cling to him, burying your head into the middle of his back as your shaky hands weave their way around his midsection. 

Choso is mid-twist on the doorknob. 

He had all intentions of leaving if you still weren't being honest with yourself about things.

Still does. 

Yet his determination is wavering from your hot tears begin to seep through his shirt and trickle down his spine. The warmth of your body—now flattened against his—causes your pert nipples to poke into his back while your delicate fingers wretchedly grasp onto his taunt abs like a lifeline. 

Like you actually needed him in your life.

Fucking hell, you didn’t play fair at all.

But he couldn’t forgive you just to hurt him again and especially not Yuji.

“Let go.”

“No.”

“I said let go!”

“NO!”

Choso easily pries you off of him, spinning you around as your back slams against the door pinning you in place. His hands encircle your arms and extend out fully so he could put some distance between the two of you. 

He couldn’t think straight when you were all over him. 

Your world is a blur and in your crossfaded state you are left with vertigo at the sudden shift of positions. Both you and Choso are left panting at the intensity of it all.

“You don’t listen to anyone do you?! You just do whatever the fuck you want…”

Choso’s face is red with anger and your eyes—already reddened from your high—take on a deeper shade as you are now openly bawling in front of him.

“Tch, why are you the one crying? This is how you want things, right?!”

You shake your head, unable to communicate beyond your pitiful sobs. 

Choso grows more and more frustrated as the guilt he is feeling battles with his more rational mind prompting him to still be angry with you despite your tears. Back and forth his mind races until it all bubbles over and—

“—You don’t think I know I’m not good enough for you!?”

Your teary eyes widen at the sudden admission. 

Choso even startles himself with his own confession he’d been holding in all this time. 

“But not Yuji...He’s already so much better than me! He’s gonna actually be something one day. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

Your lip quivers and your pleas are almost unintelligible.

“I-I know…m’s-sorry…m-m’so sorry C-Choso!”

Choso exhales deeply and shoulders slump forward as he releases you, running a hand over his face and back through his raven locks.

You couldn't read his expression but you didn't want him to attempt to leave you again as you close the gap between you, arms encircling him once more.

Choso doesn’t push you away, yet to his credit he doesn't return your embrace either as he’s still torn.

“I-I missed y-you so m-much.”

Cursing the hold you have over him Choso can’t deny he still wants to be with you—but you both were at an impasse.

Nothing good would come from repeating the same cycle again. 

There is no resolution if you still want to keep up a front. 

“P-Please forgive me Cho—I-I love you.”

The sweet proclamation is accentuated by your pillowy lips spreading kisses over his chest while the tips of your fingers slip up his shirt to place feather light scratches at the small of his back. 

Love, eh?

An unexpected revelation dawns on Choso and he is now resolved in what he has to do. 

“Yeah princess, you really love me?” 

Oblivious to the danger edging in his voice, you nod as you continue to coo affectionate words and affirmations into his chest. One of your legs hitches around his as you mold yourself deeper into him thinking he’d finally forgiven you. 

Had he forgiven you though? 

Well, not exactly. 

A devious smirk appears across Choso’s features.

Choso had come to the conclusion that at the end of the day you were simply a terrible people pleaser. 

Your stuck up bratty nature was merely a front of false confidence. 

You tried so hard to become whatever anyone else wanted you to be, you'd lie to yourself and become utterly miserable in your efforts to appease those around you. 

However, Choso knew the version of you he’d gotten when you’d been with him and Yuji had been the real you. 

And he actually did believe you loved him— even if you had just forced yourself to say it in the moment so you could manipulate him into staying.

Sympathetic to your pitiful nature, Choso wouldn’t just abandon you. 

But if you couldn’t do what was best for you, he would make sure you would himself.

⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

⋙ I'm about halfway through P3, its 5.5k already lol. stick with me though cause pt 3 is the nasty brat taming smut we all are waiting for! if i tagged you here i will tag you again for p3 but im still adding new people to tag list so lmk in comments or reblogs if you'd like to be added. trying to focus to finish this but my adhd might distract me into writing a quick gojo fic but if i do i will finish this right after!

⋙tags: (ps ty for all the sweet comments for those who joined my overall writing tag list yall legit had me in tears ilysm!) @nkogneatho @toji-girl-main @RoyaltyAndRoses @aydene @slowlyshycomputer @bontensbabygirl @yoonjinhusbands @anxious-chick @kashxyou @halosdiary @littlemochabunni @ryomens-vixen @buttercupblu @tonycries @lowkeyremi @strawberrygirl0 @crybaby-herbalist @rintcrous @bomboclakkk @anubisisthebomb @alwaysfreakingout @oeanonyme @chrys23 @spltbtch @uranometrias @officialsimpp @crispycatt @purple-obsidian my-jukebox @peachyharts111 @thedorklingqueen @sugurusprettygirl @scarasw1f3 @kgorethz @c1truswh4re @madaqueue

#♋︎kizzatcooks #♋︎kizzatcookedthat #choso x reader #choso smut #choso kamo #jjk x reader smut #jjk x reader #jjk college au #jjk x you #jjk smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen #choso x you #choso x black!reader #jjk choso #choso x y/n #choso x thicc reader #choso kamo smut #choso x black reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x black reader #kamo choso #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x you #jujutsu kaisen choso

[faghubby]

Modern Family

"Mom I gave Dad a hug, is he wearing a bra?" Stephanie asked our 16 year old daughter.

Samantha smiled a little,

"Yes he is" she confirmed. Stephanie was even more confused.

"Why?" She asked. Samantha took her daughters hand and led her to the little sun porch off the kitchen. It was Samantha's sanctuary she closed the doors and sat Stephanie down.

"Your father has a fetish" Sam said looking at her daughter not sure she knew what that meant.

"So he what is a crossdresser?" Stephanie said looking back towards the kitchen.

"Well that's part I guess, your Dad is turned on by having me have sex with other men" Sam told Stephanie. Stephanie mouth fell open.

"So you cheat on him?" Stephanie said shocked.

"No, your father begs me to have sex with black men in particular" Sam clarified.

"So dad has sex with other woman?" Stephanie seemed very confused

"OH noi could never allow that. He gets to wear womanly things and if he is lucky I will allow him to please himself" Samantha seemed relieved to tell someone. After two years holding on to this secret life.

"You really sleep with black men?" Stephanie asked curious. Samantha took her daughter's hands in hers and nodded with a huge smile on her face.

"Is is true what they say" Stephanie asked blushing.

"Well not always but yes they are bigger, and much more energetic" Samantha giggled.

I didn't know what my wife and daughter where talking about as I heard them laugh and giggling in the sun room. Later as we ate dinner they seemed to be enjoying a secret.

Samantha didn't tell me anything about it. But two weeks later as I took Stephanie to the store. While Samantha was home meeting her lover. She had told me not to be home for at least 3 hours. Stephanie had found what she was looking for prehaps quicker then I had thought and was ready to go home.

"How about we go for ice cream" I asked Stephanie. She agreed. I tried to take my time.

"Dad you don't have to worry I know mom is home fucking her black lover. You don't have to ,are excuses not to head home yet" Stephanie told me. As I checked my watch yet again. My jaw must of fallen open.

"What?" I stuttered Stephanie smiled stood and got uo and walked over to another table. I turned to see her talking to some boys she must of known from school. I sat stunned as my younger daughter flirted with a table of boys. I couldn't do anything about it. Fear of what she might say or do gave her free riegn leaving me no authority over her at all. After about 30 minutes. Stephanie came back to me.

"Maybe you should go home without me. I be home later" she smirked and left me alone leaving with the three boys.

I went home and found Samantha still in bed.

"Did you tell Stephanie?" I asked.

"Shh, come clean up the mess he left." Samantha said I stripped down to a pink lace thong and crawled into bed.

"Wait " Samantha stopped me reached into my nightstand and pulled out a large butt plug and a tube of lube. She smiled as I struggled to work it all the way in. Till it got past the thickest part then sucked into my ass and set. I let out a moan. My dick leaked precum into my panties. Only then was I allowed to clean my wife's pussy of her lovers seed.

"He made me cum twice, the first time so hard as he fucked me from behind with his big black cock" Samantha told me. After he made me suck him hard again. Then he stretched my ass. She moved a bit allowing me to start to lick her ass as well. Only after Samantha was satisfied I had cleaned all of her lovers cum did she answer my question about Stephanie

"You told Steph, she felt your bra. I just filled in the blanks. You should know she told her sister as well" Samantha told me. Then with a big smile she said.

"Would you like me to dress you up and fuck you like the woman you wish you where?"Samantha teased.

"I don't want to be" I wined.

"Are you sure my little faggot" Samantha teased. She grabbed my crotch. I released a high pitch cry.

"Sound like a woman, you swallow more cum then any woman I know. And your panties are swxier then mine." She pushed on the plug in my ass. "And I could never fit something this big in my ass" I moaned again.

"I bet even your sixteen year old daughter is getting more then you are" Samantha told me. Samantha went to my girlie drawer and pulled out a pink satin nightie. I held up my hands as she slid it on me.

"No reason to hide your true nature if the girls know" Samantha told me. I spent the rest of the night in my nightie. In the morning I felt shame and changed. Samantha got up and found me making breakfast.

"No pretty outfit?" She asked

"I just. The girls" I started to cry.

"OH, baby I know it's okay. I know what you need. When was the last time you got fucked?" Samantha asked. I knew what she meant. It had been months since she had a man. A real man use me. I had not had sex with her in years other then to orally please her.

"Samantha I don't" I wimpered

"You always say that but then love it when it happens" she rubbed my ass. And picked up her phone. By the time we finished breakfast her phone dinged

"You remember Lawrence? He will be by this afternoon" Samantha told me.

"Who is Lawrence?" Stephanie asked as she came in and stole a piece of bacon.

"A man who reminds your father of who he is" Samantha smiled. Stephanie stopped for a second as it registered in her mind. Samantha smiled and made a hand motion. Stephanie laughed.

Then Samantha showed Stephanie a picture. Lawrence was 6' 6" very physically fit man black man. He was a foot taller then me and easily could manhandled me. He also had a huge cock. And loved sissy boys like me.

Last time he came I was alone, but this time. Both Stephanie and Samantha weren't going out. I knew I had to look pretty for Lawrence. He would expect me dressed sexy, hair and makeup done. I got ready just as Lawrence would want. Samantha even made me come out of the bedroom and answer the door. Stephanie took pics of me in my 4 inch heels I am sure to send to her sister.

"Hello Lawrence, Samantha smiled. It has been to long since my faggot husband has gotten some loving."

"Well she looks lovely, I will take care of that" Lawrence lifted me into his arms and carried me to bed. I was totally humiliated as he placed me on the bed. He was naked a moment later. I took his cock down my throat. I gagged and spit and went back for more. I needed him.

For over two hours this man used me, he was a machine able to hold out from finishing. While he had made me cum twice without touching my penis once. Lawrence finally finished chosing to cum on my face.

I fell asleep and Lawrence left. When I got up I cleaned up and put on a dress. I felt girlie pretty as I came out to face Samantha and Stephanie.

"Lawrence says he will keep you satisfied if that is what you desire" Samantha told me. "Is this what you want to become Paula?"

"yes" I said softly. Samantha just smiled and said "as you wish"

[cleminthewriter]

Mom Said It’s My Turn To Do The Writing

This was supposed to be a small fluff drabble but i quickly realized that I can’t write anything under 300 words for the life of me so here’s a full one shot. Enjoy :D

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex wasn’t really sure how long the two had been running for. Maybe minutes, maybe hours,maybe for just seconds. But Alex could tell by now they really couldn’t keep it up. Their legs were shaking which each step, their breathing had quickened, and everything seemed to be blurred despite having their glasses on. Clyde seemed filled with just enough energy to keep going, surely it wouldn’t notice if Alex took a small break to catch their breath and lean against a tree.

But notice it did. Alex watched through closing eyes as Clyde ran back over to check on them. 

“Sandwich Human! We don’t have time! They’re gonna get you!” Clyde hurried them. Alex held up a finger to signal for a minute. Then got off the tree and ran a bit further… before losing breath again and falling over.

Clyde rushed over to them, panicking. “Sandwich Human you are not dying today! There’s far more that needs to happen and your death is not for a while.” Clyde muttered. It placed a hand on Alex, which immediately made them sit up.

The duo had found out just a little bit ago the two can touch without Alex dying (immediately), Now after months of trying not to touch each other, it just felt… strange. It wasn’t like it hurt; Alex was just expecting to suddenly feel more teeth and to start coughing blood, and not just a semi-solid ooz hand (?) on their shoulder.

Clyde had already removed its hand from Alex, but still looked concerned. Then it seemed to have an idea. “Don't panic over what I’m about to do.” The veldigun told them. Before Alex could even question what they were about to do, they were immediately picked up by the veldigun. 

“Come on, let’s go find a cave or somewhere and get you some rest.” Clyde whispered as it began to run and locate a good place for the duo to sleep for the night. 

Alex really hadn’t been held like this since they were incredibly young. They had just grown out of asking to be carried and by then they were far too tall to be carried properly. Clyde was a bit taller than them, and was way stronger as well. It was odd, but strangely comforting to be carried around like they weighed nothing.

Just as Alex grew comfortable with being carried, Clyde looked to the side in joy. “Finally! A good cave!” It announced as it brought Alex inside. Clyde seemed to search around for some unknown reason before placing Alex down in a spot far from the opening. It readjusted the blanket Alex had been carrying to be wrapped around them.

“We need a nest, stay here.” Clyde whispered as it scurried away. 

Wow, tonight was a night of firsts for Alex, wasn’t it. They were hunted by the police for the first time, ran for more than half an hour for the first time, were carried for the first time in years, and now they were sleeping in a nest for the first time. Last time they had this many first was their 18th birthday, first time drinking and first time waking up in Mr. Jones’s shed with their clothes on backwards. What a night they still couldn’t remember.

As Alex thought about this in a headspace they were too sleepy to actually think about things logically, they had barely noticed Clyde coming back with a pile of supplies, which was now being used to make a makeshift nest. Alex examined the nest closely. It had what looked like some tree branches, leaves, some discarded trash, what was either a tent or a hammock, and fluff that they couldn’t identify (maybe it was cotton, maybe it was spider webs, maybe- actually, Alex didn't want to know). Alex was still unsure of how it was being held together because it looked poorly woven, until they noticed Clyde gliding a finger across the nest structure, leaving a trail of goo(?). So that was that question answered.

Eventually once Clyde had finished construction of the nest, it reapproached the human. “Alright, the nest is done, from the position of the moon it’s should be 4 or 5 am, so I’m gonna block the cave and sleep with you. So you hop in the nest, be there in a minute.” It told the human before grabbing leftover branches to cover the opening with. 

Alex made an “attempt” to move into the nest, but they were so tired they’d rather just lay on the ground then move another inch. It made them feel terrible cause Clyde just spent its time building a nest that it didn't need to, but here Alex was not getting in it. God they were just like their old family cat, Neptune, who never slept in the nice cat beds they’d buy him and instead sleep in the box it came in. Neptune was a nice cat, don’t get Alex wrong, just a tad annoying. Shame Neptune went missing mysteriously one day- actually no wait now that they think about it, it was highly likely Clyde had found him first and-

“Need help Sandwich Human?” Clyde offered as it towered over their body. Alex just made a vague yes noise and grabby hands. They heard the veldigun laugh as it picked them up. 

“Wow, your way more tired than I expected.” It chuckled as it laid the both of them in the nest. “Six, this must be what Winfrey felt when I stayed up past 6 am hunting and begged to be carried to our nest.” It chuckled again.

They stayed like that for a minute. While the nest was comfy, Alex found themselves unable to truly fall asleep. “Blanket maybe?” They thought as they unwrapped their blanket and threw half over Clyde. It was probably cold as well. Clyde seemed a bit shocked to have gotten half of the blanket around it as well, but grateful nonetheless.

Alex, however, was still having trouble sleeping. They were incredibly tired, but couldn’t get to that state where they were asleep. 

Clyde looked soft.

Alex wrapped themselves around the veldigun. This was something they probably would have considered a death wish maybe a few months ago, but at this moment it just felt… right. 

There was a small pause between the two. Maybe Alex had taken it too far, maybe this was the moment Clyde decided they were too much trouble, maybe-

Clyde wrapped its own arms around Alex, and its tail wrapped around theirs. This was… incredibly comforting. Maybe tonight had been, probably the worst in all of Alex’s life, but right now, in this cave, in this nest, in a moment of peace between human and eldritch beast, Alex had a thought they hadn’t thought in sometime:

“Maybe things will be ok.”

#doai sitcom au #doai #clemin writes #dreams of an insomniac

[sgiandubh]

Fans subscribed to FMN gin's mailing list receive 'news coming soon' messages. It looks like T is excited to get into the drinks business too...

Dear Mailing List Anon,

I would be quite surprised, even having seen this:

There has consistently been 0 movement in both (UK and IE) companies (and even in the third, IE, company - IYKYK) for at least a year, now. But hey, if the ad says so, amen.

Hell, I even saw this, haven't I?

I have thoughts and questions. Let's unpack:

'We hope you didn't forget about us.' - oh, wait: Forget Me Not -> forget about us. Wow. Seriously? A bit underwhelming. On which planet is a cheap, mild pun classy?

'to find more about our long awaited batch'. Ok, folks. Zero corporate social media engagement since at least December 2020:

30k views and 6 comments in three years and a half is what I would call miserable social media traction. Zero client service: even those hopeful six comments were never answered. It would have taken ten minutes tops to do so!

So, long awaited by who? C's Stans? Orgasmically, if I dare say so. C's fans? Perhaps, but since few people got a chance to sample it, a friendly, but classy nudge was in order - not a 'Dear Jane Doe' email : she is not that famous (yet). Outside the OL bubble? I don't want to sound mean, but I'd be damned if I know why someone would use 'long awaited' for some vanity project by a lesser-known actress.

'In the meantime, why not get reacquainted with our founder (...)'. Cognitive dissonance alert: either the product was long awaited for, by a crowd that knows reasonably well enough about the founder, the projects, the socials (unused since December 2020 - reminds me of that forlorn 🎄). Or you'd have to get reacquainted to all this stuff - I mean, how more obviously can that copywriter sabotage the brand & its creator in two lines and 30 seconds?

How long is that 'meanwhile'? Pics were taken in the spring of 2023 (remember Dr. Eustace? LOL for days) and she looks completely disinterested. That picture could be literally anything: a magazine spread, a tell-all memoir cover, a pic taken at a party. How is this aligned with whatever the brand identity is - mystery. I know it wants to be classy and mysterious, but the color palette immediately made me think of...

[Aaron Shikler - JFK's official Presidential Portrait, 1971,The White House - poignant and soulful, but this is my beloved JFK, not a classy 40-something successful woman]

Why? Gin is fresh and festive and fun and oh, so easy. Why choose a melancholy, emotive color trope is just beyond me.

C is a woman of strength. I miss that woman. I want to see that woman blossom and confidently sell her shtick. Instead, I am shown a confusing, blurry Greta Garbo-esque silhouette.

Last, but not least: you take the time to send all those mails suggesting a 'pre-sale op', you should at least update your socials, because you expect clicks, isn't it? Why sending it at all, if you mean to come back in six hours or more, with an update? That information should have been simultaneously made available on FMN's website and on ALL the socials - all those people who clicked on your links are potential clients, after all.

Right now:

Nothing. Lord give me strength.

My take on it? A second limited batch, with lackadaisical availability, zero client relations and a much belated explanation for the use of profits to charity.

#fandom #shitshow #booze wars

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Reckoner: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Summary: Your world is turned upside down when you get in trouble for something you didn't even do. The entire team is in uproar over this but Hotch says he will take care of it. Can he? Or are you doomed to live out the rest of your days in misery?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

Spencer hasn't stopped thinking about you even after the team arrived on Long Island. He's been stuck in Penelope's office with nothing to do but think about you. Detective Gil Hardesty met Emily and Derek at the newest crime scene.

"It's pretty much how we found it. There are no signs of forced entry," Gil says and leads the duo into the house.

There is blood on the walls that belongs to Ben but it doesn't look like nothing was taken from the house.

"It says in the file that Heather has a daughter. Where is she?" Emily asks the detective.

"She moved to San Diego to live with her real father. Ben and Heather have only been married a couple of years."

"So, Heather came in and dropped her shopping bags, cell phone, and her keys but not her coat." Emily ats out what Heather might have done when she arrived home. She turns the lights on but they don't come on. "She turns on the lights but they don't work because the phone and electricity were cut. Something in this room attracted her attention."

Derek walks over to a big blood stain on the ground and notices something in the pattern.

"What is it?" the detective asks when he notices 

"The marks in the blood look like a camera tripod. Serial killers, especially sexual sadists, often document their kill."

"Sexual sadists usually torture their victims while they're still alive," Emily says. "You haven't found any conflicting DNA?"

"No. There are no prints or fibers. There's nothing here."

"Nobody heard any shots?"

The detective's phone rings and he looks relieved at the news he gets.

"Heather was just found wandering the streets half an hour ago. She's at Brookside General."

"Get JJ over there," Derek says and Emily leaves the crime scene. "A killer this sophisticated doesn't leave a living witness without a reason."

JJ immediately heads over to the hospital to talk to Heather before she has a chance to talk to anyone else. Heather is still out of it but she is able to see JJ and talk to her. She knocks on the door and walks in once she hears a quiet "come in".

"Heather, my name is Agent Jennifer Jareau. I have some questions for you if it's okay." Heather nods so JJ pulls a chair next to her bed. "When you came home and tried to turn the lights on, what did you do next?"

It takes Heather a moment or two to think of her answer.

"I saw a light like a flash. I opened the door and Ben was tied to a chair. I think he was dead." She takes a deep breath in and lets it out shakily. "There was another flash. It blinded me for a moment."

"Ddi you see your attacker?"

"No."

"Did he say anything?"

"No. I heard this noise."

"What kind of noise?"

"Sawing. I watched him cut Ben's hand off. Why didn't he kill me?" she cries.

JJ's phone rings and she gives Heather an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. Excuse me." She gets up and walks to the window for some kind of privacy. "What's up, Garcia?"

"I've been getting to know Heather. I can't tell you her favorite Beatle, but I can tell you she was living la vida unhappy."

"What did you find?"

"Her ex-husband took her daughter Allison out of school mid-term. After that, Heather cut a check for $5,000 to a place called Lewis, Bell, & Peters six days ago."

"Is that a law firm?"

"Family law."

"Hey, how's Spence doing?"

Penelope looks over at Spencer who has been staring at his hands for the past twenty minutes trying not to cry.

"Not good. I'll talk to him."

"Thanks." JJ hangs up and turns to Heather. "Mrs. Vanderwaal, did you move your daughter out of school at mid-term?"

"Yes."

"After that, you filed for divorce from Ben. This man left you alive for a reason. I need to know if these two things are connected."

"A few months ago, I found a picture of Allison on Ben's phone. She was naked."

"Where was it taken?"

"I couldn't tell."

"Did you confront him?"

"Yes. He claimed that Allison sent it to him by mistake. That she meant to send it to another student at her school. It's called sexting," she sighs.

"What did Allison say?"

"She said Ben took it but she lies. Allison is a liar. She caused us a lot of trouble."

"She wasn't lying about this, was she?"

This is when Heather starts to cry.

"No," she sobs.

Heather didn't give much information to JJ, but Rossi is hoping to gain more information from Ben's body at the medical examiner's office. 

"The hand removal is less than surgical," the ME says. That means whoever cut it off is either impatient or doesn't know how to cut into a body. "He used a basic double-toothed saw."

"So, the guy we're looking for has no medical training."

"Not the kind I've had."

"One in the heart and one in the brain," Rossi studies the bullet holes. "It's close range. The second one was right up behind the ear. How about gun residue?"

"Surprisingly little."

Maybe it's because the killer was using a .22 small caliber with a small discharge. It's certainly possible. Rossi grabs the file and looks through it to study what kind of bullets are used. He does a double-take and looks closer at one of the images.

"This is weird," he mumbles. "Ballistics can't match the bullets to a gun because there were no rifling marks on the bullet. There's only one explanation for that. This was done by a zip gun."

Rossi, JJ, Emily, and Derek meet back at the police department just in time for Hotch to walk through the doors. The current case can be put on hold for five minutes because they're all worried about you and what's going to happen to you.

"Hey, how did it go? What's going to happen to Y/N?" Derek is the first to ask.

"She's in real trouble. I don't know if I can get her out of this one."

"Why do they think she did it?" Emily wonders.

"I don't know. They won't release the information to me. We haven't been invited in. It's not Federal, and they're not going to discuss details of an open investigation."

"This is Y/N we're talking about here!"

"I know this. I'm trying, Morgan."

"I can make anything Federal. I can try and help," JJ says.

"Thanks. Where are we with this case?"

"Not much into it. We found Heather wandering a few towns over. She's in the hospital now. She told me that Ben took naked pictures of her daughter which is why her daughter lives in San Diego with her biological dad."

"If anyone had the motive to kill Ben, it was Heather's ex-husband," Detective Gil says.

"No, he was in San Diego at the time of the murder, and he has no connection to the other two victims."

"I might have something," Rossi says. "In all cases, the .22 caliber bullets had no rifling marks. Without the barrel being rifled, the bullets would have very little velocity. He would have to shoot his victim point-blank. This guy is using a zip gun. If you know what you're doing, a piece of plumbing pipe of a kid's bicycle pump can be turned into a gun. One in the heart, one in the head. Untraceable, expandable bullets tell me without question that all of these kills were strictly business."

"You mean a hitman? What about the postmortem mutilation?"

"A contract sometimes includes extras. The camera isn't for sexual gratification. It's for proof of death. We could be looking for two people. Maybe more."

"Excuse me," Gil says and walks away from the group.

"I might be able to hit on some old contacts but I'll need to do it alone," Rossi says.

"Contacts?" Emily asks. "Do we want to know?"

"Probably not."

Rossi leaves but the rest stay to discuss the case some more.

"The removal of the hands is as specific as Rita's condition was when she was found, and just as specific as the removal of Bill's genitals."

"There's a message in the mutilations the unsub wants us to know," Hotch says.

There is a chime coming from one of the computers, and Derek accepts the video chat invitation from Penelope. Everyone can see the look of sadness on Spencer's face. He looks up and does a double-take when he sees Hotch.

"Hotch. What happened with Y/N? Is she okay?"

"She's okay but she's in more trouble than I thought. They have a lot of evidence against her but they won't release it to me or anyone that's not on the case. We're trying to push past the red tape."

Spencer looks like he's going to cry but he's not going to do it in front of everyone. Instead, he scoots further from the camera so that Penelope can take over. 

"I got something here that might help us with that. Bill was involved in a serial rape case all involving minors, and it never went to trial."

"What about Rita?"

"She's a former social worker. She was fired from the DCFS for gross negligence. In one of her cases, a seven-year-old boy starved to death."

"That explains why Rita was so emaciated when she was found."

"If all the victims were indicated in crimes against children, then we've found a connection," Derek says. "One of the unsubs has access to the crimes of the victims and probably works in the justice system. Garcia?"

"On it."

"Alright, we know what the victims have in common, so we just need to find out who they have in common."

"Wait, this social worker and the suspected rape case were matters of record. Ben's relationship with his stepdaughter is not," Penelope says.

"Unless the stepdaughter told someone else."

"I'll call Rossi," Emily says and walks away.

"I'll have the daughter flown in," Detective Gil says.

When Penelope hangs up the phone, Spencer actually breaks down in tears. She doesn't know what to do or say to make him feel better so she just brings him in for a hug instead.

"What if they actually convict her?" he sniffles. "What if she goes to prison for the rest of her life?"

"That's not going to happen."

"I should be there right now."

"They're not going to allow visitors right now unless you're her lawyer. Spencer, Y/N is smart. She knows she's innocent and that has to be enough right now."

"Hotch says there is a lot of evidence against her. Like what? What could they possibly have? If she's not here, she's with me."

"I have enough faith for the both of us that she is going to be okay. There's nothing we can do right now until we know more. Just wait until Hotch gets back from New York. He'll be able to get more information."

Spencer's scared to go home knowing you're not going to be there. He hates sleeping alone.

x

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#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds angst #criminal minds series rewrite #criminal minds season 5

[railingsofsorrow]

chapter IV | infidus

summary: "You're off this case." 

"You can't do that," Spencer said, almost pleading. "I was right!" 

"You were jealous," Hotch said with a sigh of irritation. "You might have been right but your whole body language inside that room was telling. I don't want to know how you two met or how you kept in contact." Even if he already had that answer through Iris a few minutes ago. "You are off this case, Reid. Do you hear me?"

w.c: 2.5K

warnings/contents: petty arguments; interrogation; mentions of anxiety; bruises; implied domestic abuse and violence; non-graphic violence; descriptions of stalking behavior; mentions of blood and threatening messages; iris having one brain cell & a fierce best friend.  A/N: last chapter focused solely on the investigation.

navi

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LETTERS — [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

CHAPTERS — [1] [2] [3] [4] . . .

❝Infidus❞

[adj.] unsafe; not to be trusted.

Emily's gaze shifted from Iris to Imogen as something akin to understanding reached her eyes. Iris snapped out of her anxious state to take a step back as if to shelter herself.  

“I didn't ask for one.” She revealed, locking eyes with Imogen for the first time in a year. She hadn't seen her since Mark's family tried to buy off her silence and she refused. The last thing she needed was his family's help again, given that their son was responsible for the scar in her jaw she has to stare every time she looked in the mirror.  

Iris wanted to be very far from Mark's family as possible and from him, but since she wasn't able to to the latter, she would take the former. 

"You don't have to say anything, Iris. They can't hold you against your will without any evidence-" 

"They don't have evidence against me because I didn't do anything!" Iris cut her off with a glare. She couldn't prevent her rage from slipping through her tongue. "And what are you doing here? Did he send you?" 

Imogen seemed dumbstruck by Iris's reaction, probably due to the old image she had of her being naïve and believing every word she said, when the only thing she cared about was to shut her up to not ruin the Dawson's privileged name. Iris hadn't eat anything since last night, she was starving and thirsty and dirty. She was exhausted. She could very much throw every shit Mark has done to her out in the open because the FBI would hear her, right? But this wasn't about her, this was about Fabian and Meredith, and she would do anything to get them to safety if there was even a possibility. She just wanted to find them. 

"Get out of here," Iris ordered, crossing her arms over her chest, exhaling slowly. "I did not ask for a lawyer." 

Imogen took a step towards her, but was stopped by Agent Prentiss, who earned a glare. "You're making a mistake, Iris. I came here to help you, they will try to pin this on you-" 

"You're not worried about me and tell your brother to leave me alone or I won't keep my mouth shut as I did before." That was the cue for Imogen to leave.  

"Iris." 

She didn't realise she had been staring at the chair ever since Imogen left. She glanced up at warm honey brown eyes that had a soft green glow around them. It looked almost like a forest bathed in sunlight.  

"You're shaking." He pointed out.  

Iris blinked away from her stare, bringing her hands to her chest in an attempt to stop them from shaking. She looked pathetic. She felt pathetic.  

"Sorry, I don't particularly enjoy confrontation." She hated it.  

"Is that Mark Dawson's sister?" Emily interrupted their conversation. 

Iris nodded, fidgeting with the collar of her blouse. "Yes," she uttered, scratching her wrist. Spencer observed the movement as a nervous tell. She would get uncomfortable every time they mentioned her ex fiancee. “I'm sorry but, I told you everything I know. I'm tired, can I just— can I just go?” 

“Let me ask you one last thing and you're free to go.” Emily opened the manila folder with the image of Iris's door where it was written in crimson red YOU ARE ALL I WANT. Iris turned away from the picture with a frown. “Do you have any idea who might had left you this message?” 

“I thought you said Fabian did it.” 

“We had reasons to believe that before, yes. But who do you think wrote this?”  

Iris stayed silent, eyes shifting back to the image. 

“You've received threatening messages before. Though they were different and not very... explicit. Isn't that true?” 

“Those were pranks.” Iris dismissed her affirmation. “Someone found out my number, probably even one of my students, and pranked me. They weren't exactly threatening. . .” 

Emily grabbed another file and started reading it out loud. Spencer leaned back on the chair, his lips twitching in slight annoyance. 

 “I'm the only one who will ever be able to love you the way you deserve.” She followed to the next one. “I love you and I have you, even if you are playing hard to get—” 

“Stop.” Iris rubbed her hands across her face, shaking her head. “I told you, those were pranks—” 

“Are you sure about that, Iris?” 

“I don't know!” 

“Do you think Fabian Helley wrote that message at your door?” 

“No!” Iris snapped. “I don't think he did that and I don't think he sent the other ones either because he wasn't the one obsessed with me. He wasn't the one watching my every step and he wasn't the one responsible for making me scared to go back home after work because I could be cornered if I was alone!” She let out in one breathe, inhaling sharpy as she carried on. “Fabian was my student, the only reason he spent so much time on my lab studying was because that was the only safe place he had outside my classroom. He was bullied by at least half of the people who were in the cafeteria the day the mass poisoning happened. He was not obsessed with me. He didn't send the texts.” She took a deep breath to pull herself together.  

Spencer watched in sympathy how relieved she felt that she said that, even if with so much pressure. 

“But you do think they caused the mass poisoning.” His voice rang through the room for the first time in a while. It was an affirmation because he could read between the lines of he was bullied by half of the people who were in the cafeteria. 

Iris started scratching her wrist again, “I don't want to accuse anybody without proof.” 

Emily placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder, and she offered him a look he was able to decipher as she muttered something along the lines being needed outside and that she would be right back.  

She wouldn't. Upon concluding Iris was actually comfortable around Spencer and not around her, the smartest thing to do would let him conduct the interview. 

“It's just a question. Not an accusation.” His eyes traced Iris's abused skin and he saw she stopped scratching when Emily left the room. His eyes squinted on the area now uncovered by her hand, it wasn't just pink because of her nails, but there was a purple bruise encircling her wrist. He didn't see that before.  

Iris dark brown eyes stared into Spencer's as she debated wether or not it would be good to tell him.  

She trusted him. 

“He, mhm... Fabian came in to my lab one day, before he fell sick, and told me to not come in to NSU in the 27th.” 

Spencer nodded, he remembered she told him this in one of their latest letters.  

“You found it weird.”  

Iris nodded, “yeah, it was late at night. He wasn't even supposed to be there. But he didn't stay, he said this and left.” 

“Do you think he was trying to protect you?” 

“Maybe. I told you— I mean, I wrote to you that I thought I was being paranoid.” She sounded extremely guilty and helpless. “I should have listened to my gut, shouldn't I?” 

He lowered his head so her gaze could meet his. “You couldn't have known. He didn't tell you what he was planning. There was no way you could have stopped this. It's not your fault.” 

“Is that really what you think? Or are you just saying that because you were trained to and you want me to tell you more?”  

Spencer blinked, stunned. “Iris, I believe you.” 

She scoffed, eyes welling up in tears as she beat herself up inside. “You don't even know me. You know my handwriting and my favourite books but you don't even know me, Spencer. Why would you believe me?” 

“Reid.”  

He jerked his head in the direction of the door, cutting his speech short as his boss called him outside the room.  

Hotch's tone was stern, demanding but Spencer couldn't bring himself to leave without knowing the truth.  

“Did he do that?” He eyed the bruise on her wrist and Iris gave him a confused glance before her eyes followed his gaze and she immediately retracted her arm to her lap, lowering her sleeve as her cheeks turned pink in shame. 

“I fell.” She blamed her tiredness for not being able to find a better excuse. 

"I didn't said a name but you already knew who I was talking about."  

Iris's lips parted in astonishment. Spencer's eyes softened. 

"Iris, he's toying with you. Mark's a narcissistic man who seeks power and control any chance he gets. He thinks that because he has power and money, he can get away with what he did to you and the other girls—" 

"What other girls?" Iris's breathing fails. "What are you talking about, Spencer?" 

Hotch walked inside the room with heavy steps, not even batting an eye at her. “Reid. Outside. Now.”  

Spencer kept his eyes on Iris for a moment, jaw-clenching but she somehow knew he wasn't frustrated at her but at whatever lecture he was about to receive from his boss. He stood up, the chair screeched against the floor causing Iris to wince and stormed out of the interrogation room with Aaron Hotchner on his trail. 

━━━━━━━━━ 

“Do you have any idea of what the implications of your actions can do to this case?” 

“She didn't do anything. There is no reason for her to be interrogated like she's the culprit when we both know who should be in there." 

Then, Hotch made Reid glare at him at his next statement.  

"You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement." 

Spencer huffed in annoyance, "that is not what I am doing, Hotch. I'm just following my gut." 

"Well, you can't just follow your gut when someone you care about is at other side of that room, Reid." Hotch snapped, clearly out of patience with what had happened and for the fact that his Agent omitted knowing their former suspect in the current case. "You're off this case." 

"You can't do that," Spencer said, almost pleading. "I was right!" 

"You were jealous," Hotch said with a sigh of irritation. "You might have been right but your whole body language inside that room was telling. I don't want to know how you two met or how you kept in contact." Even if he already had that answer by Iris a few minutes ago. "You are off this case, Reid. Do you hear me?" 

Spencer's irritation showed through his tense shoulders and the scowl he had on his face. He mumbled a low fine and walked away from his Unit Chief.  

"Aaron."  

He tilted his head to see Dave approaching with his lips turned upside down. He most definitely had seen the small commotion in the hallway.  

"He'll be fine." Rossi squeezed his shoulder in a comforting manner. "Now, we need to let the poor girl go home. She's been here the whole night. I'm afraid she will combust in anxiety inside that room at any moment." 

Hotch rolled his shoulders back in an attempt to get rid of the tenseness, "I know." David was right. They had no reason to hold Iris because there was no evidence against her. They had, however, evidence against her ex fiancee, which was why they tried to get something out of her. They would have to work with that they had as of now. 

━━━━━━━━━ 

Iris didn't had any nails left in her fingers to bite on. The current victim was the dry skin of her lips. She had drink water, but it wasn't enough for her chapped lips, she would probably down a whole gallon of water as she arrived home. 

"Red looks good on you."  

Emily Prentiss looked up from the message in her phone that said "Did she actually fell asleep?". Iris had her eyes closed, head tiled to the side as she rested her head against her upper arm. She looked like she was sleeping, but apparently not.  

And what had she just said? 

"You know, because of your skin and your hair. It's a good contrast. It looks attractive. It's an attractive color on you."  

Emily blinked as the woman said all of that with her eyes closed.  

"Thanks?" 

Iris winced, aware of her bold comment. She couldn't stop her mouth from spilling out her thoughts, she didn't hold back her tongue when she was in distress. It was like she was inebriated.  

"Sorry," she apologized, glancing up at Emily with a grimace and straightening herself in the uncomfortable chair. "That was inapropriate." 

Emily covered up a laugh by clearing her throat. "It's fine." 

Another message from JJ arrived and Emily rolled her eyes at the text. "Is she flirting with you???" 

"Could I have a phone call?" Iris remembered that was a thing in movies, though she wasn't arrested, she could still call someone, right? It's not like she had a way to get back home, she didn't have her car and she didn't want to grab a cab with the miserable state she was in. She would have to bother Lindsey with this, unfortunely.  

Before Emily could reply, Hotch and Rossi stepped inside the room to announce Iris was free to go. Iris seemed in search for someone else as she tried looking past their shoulders, as if they were about to enter the room. They didn't, but she let out a breath of relief and walked out to be met with her best friend sprinting towards her in a bone crushing hug.  

"You spent the night here and don't even call me?" Lindsey fussed over her, grabbing her face and studying it to see if it had any injuries, if she was truly okay. "Did you even had any probable cause to hold her overnight, Agent Hotchner?" Her usual bright blue eyes became a stormy dark night as she stared up at the man who was at least 6 feet tall, but she didn't let herself be intimidated by any figure of authority, no matter how tall they were and how grumpy they look. "You're aware I could sue you for this?" 

"Oh, god, Lind—" Iris pulled at the blonde's arm with a mortified look in her face. She turned back to mumble an apology to the FBI Agents. She saw Emily's smirk of amusement before turning back to her enraged best friend. "I'm sorry and thank you!" 

"Why are you thanking them? They held you in a cell for an entire night like some criminal—" 

"I wasn't in a cell!" Iris hissed, finally being successful in dragging her outside the police station with no apparent deaths.  

Inside the precinct, Emily couldn't stop laughing.  

"Who was that?" JJ got off the phone with Penelope, dumbstruck at the commotion that attracted everyone's attention.  

"I don't know," Emily shook her head, drying the tears in her eyes. "But I need to find out." 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets ; @chayceschultz ; @cultish-corner ; @lover-of-books-and-tea ; @theonecalledrue

#sun-bleached paper petals fic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x iris valencia #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic

[kingofpopmj]

Can’t Go On Without You By My Side

Summary: You visit your boyfriend of two years on his BAD world tour. The excitement of witnessing him perform live is quickly tainted the moment she walks in.

Pairing: Michael Jackson x Reader

Warnings: SMUT

Requested: yes! BAD tour smut was requested, however I added my own little twist to it. I hope that's okay. I live for drama…

*Y/N's POV*

Michael and I were finally able to plan for me to visit him on tour. I was lucky enough to get a week and a half off of work and we were determined to make the most of it. Michael had insisted on picking me up from the airport even though he was technically supposed to be at the venue. We arrived about ten minutes after the show was scheduled to begin, but thankfully, no one called us out on it.

I stood off to the side, watching Michael completely own the stage. The way he mastered his onstage persona was breathtaking. His smile was so bright. I took a moment to discreetly admire his outfit, clinging to his body tighter with each passing song.

“He’s sexy, isn’t he?” A breathy voice sounded from beside me, interrupting my silent gawking. I guess I wasn't being as discreet as I thought.

“Um—” I looked to my left, making eye contact with a very tall woman. She was beautiful. A tight black dress clung to her body so tight it almost looked painted on. I know exactly who this is.

“The correct answer is yes. He can do it all, if you know what I mean.” My hands clenched into fists with such force I could feel my rings digging into my skin. “He’s absolutely the sexiest man alive. I’m so exhausted, he kept me up all night this past week. That's not a complaint by the way. He is so worth it.”

I couldn’t put together enough words to form a complete sentence. Quite frankly, all my focus was on holding myself back. I couldn’t catch a case right now. Michael might be cheating on me and this woman is certainly a whore. That was that. I couldn’t change fact. If I went off and beat the living shit out of some groupie it would ruin the rest of my life. I couldn’t let the anger control my behavior. He betrayed me, but I refuse to let him see how much it really broke me.

“I’m so sorry, I get all misty watching him. Don’t we all?” She laughed, squeezing my shoulder, little did she know she was dangerously close to losing those boney little fingers. “My name is Tatiana, and you are?” She held out her hand, batting her eyelashes so hard I thought she’d fly away. At least I hoped she would. Maybe over a large body of water, perhaps shark infested waters.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” She let out an exaggerated gasp, slapping her palm against her mouth.

“You’re the girlfriend! Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” She quickly ran off leaving me standing there alone with this feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t describe.

I glanced around the immediate area, seeing no one else near me felt worse somehow. I don't know many people here other than Michael. I became distracted as he sang Rock With You, little did he know he was moments away from getting rocked. Y/N, no, stop. I release the tension in my hands, shaking it off, trying to let go of the violent thoughts swirling in my mind. Besides how therapeutic it was right now, it wasn’t productive. I need some air, a drink, a hitman? No. Air, I need air.

The clicks of my heels echoed through the halls as I headed towards an unknown destination. I'm probably lost, but that a problem for future Y/N.

*Michael's POV*

As Rock With You came to an end, I noticed Y/N disappear behind the curtain. Exactly, two songs have gone by since then and still no sign of her. During the brief outfit change after Thriller, before intermission, I notice Greg, my music director mouthing something to me.

"What?" I mouthed back, scratching my forehead. He's terrible at this.

"Your girl." Okay, I got that. I nodded, shrugging slightly as if to say and what about her.

"Mad."

I couldn’t play charades any longer, as the lights dimmed and the band took over the stage I snuck behind the large equipment to get closer to him.

"What happened?"

"I saw Tatiana talking to her. She did not look too happy after that brother."

I nodded slowly, processing his words before walking off. I should be taking advantage of my break, but I couldn’t relax not knowing where my girlfriend was.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. What are you doing all the way back here?”

"Nothing I just needed some air." She said lowly, avoiding my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I moved towards her, cupping her face in my hands. The look in her eyes answering my question, but I wanted to hear it from her.

"Yeah, well, no, but it can wait until after the show."

"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded in response. "Now, can you please come back with me? I perform better knowing my beautiful woman is watching me."

She accompanied me as I changed into my next outfit. She helped me slip into my coat, but my excitement was short lived, because I could sense her sadness. What is going on?

"I love you, baby." I watched closely as she struggled with her response, she began biting on her bottom lip, her eyes growing glossy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Her voice cracked and she quickly turned away from me.

"I know you Y/N. You're hurting and I'd like to know what's going on so I can help."

"S—She—" Y/N broke down right, her body was shivering as she tried to compose herself. I felt less than helpless.

"Who?" I tried comforting her, but she brushed me off, moving away from me all together.

A quick knock on the door, signaling that intermission was coming to a close and I needed to get back out there.

"I'll let them know I need more time. I'll be right back."

"No!"

"You're crying. Y/N, baby, I'm not leaving you."

"I'm alright. Please, can we just talk about this later?"

I didn't want to agree, but she wasn't asking, she was practically begging. I intertwined our fingers, keeping her close as I weaved my way through the backstage area.

"Please, stand here and watch the rest of the show. It would mean the world to me." I smiled at her and kissed her temple as I hugged her.

"I'll be right here." She reaffirmed my confidence. Then, she grabbed my collar, pulling me into her lips. Her tongue was pure magic. Normally, I'd be embarrassed about public affection, but with the way I'm feeling, I'd love to feel every inch of her right here, right now. I didn't care who was watching.

She pulled away and I desperately chased her lips as she giggled at my neediness.

"You have to go."

"There is no way I'm leaving your side after that."

"You don't have a choice."

"I will be back. Very, very soon."

*Y/N's POV*

I watched the second half of Michael's concert the way I should've watched the first half. I enjoyed myself dancing and singing along to my man's voice. What Tatiana said hurt me, but I felt so foolish when I thought logically again. Michael isn't that type of person. I didn't need to talk to him about this, because once the anger and hurt wore off I was able to come to a conclusion on my own. She's lying. She has to be.

"You're still here?" This damn witch. "I'd be halfway home by now if I found out my boyfriend stepped out on me."

There was so much I wanted to say, but I chose to let her words go in one ear and out the other. The last thing I want to do is let her know she ever got to me.

"Well, that's my cue. Enjoy the show." She winked, walking pass me and flipping her hair.

I was forced to watch as Tatiana strutted across the stage with my boyfriend chasing after her. This was one of my favorite songs and now I couldn’t even enjoy it. I felt my blood begin to boil as she shamelessly flirted with him in front of the crowd of thousands.

She was getting closer and closer to him. She was doing this on purpose and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Why is this song so long all of the sudden?

"What the hell is she doing?" I heard Frank DiLeo grumble from behind me. I jumped a bit at his tone, but tried to play it off.

"Everything okay?" I asked softy.

"Hey darling, yeah she was supposed— what the hell! Get her off the damn stage! Now!"

I turned my attention back to the stage and I wished more than anything I wouldn’t have done that. I tried to blink as if that would change the view, but it didn’t.

I was stuck in that horrible moment as the worst thing I could imagine was confirmed. I had a front row seat to my own humiliation and I had no idea how to escape.

Before I knew it, she was walking towards me. "So happy you could be here to see what a real power couple looks like." She stopped in front of me, crossing her arms. "Sorry honey, he's moved on to bigger and better things."

I felt my cheeks heat up as I became uncomfortably aware of how many eyes were on us.

"Tatiana, that's enough. Get away from her." Frank shouted, shooing her away like a toddler.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

We stood in silence as Man in the Mirror blasted through the speakers. It wasn't until Michael's long passionate goodbye to his fans, wrapping up the concert that Frank slung his arm around my shoulder.

"Darling, you know she's full of it right?"

"I'm not sure."

"Michael and I have to take care of some business. I won't keep him too long and I'll send him your way after."

I knew that was his way of telling me it was private business that I couldn’t be around for. I hugged him before heading off, I wasn't really sure where I was going, but walking felt better than sitting with my thoughts.

"Baby! I'm so sorry. Frank told me what happened after—"

“I need to get out of here before I do something I regret.” Michael reached out, taking a firm hold of my hand, he pulled me down a short hallway and into his dressing room.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He finally spoke, shutting the door behind him.

“You’re sorry I had to see it?”

“Yes.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Y/N—”

“Does that mean you do it often?”

“No, that’s not—”

“You go around kissing other people when I’m not around?”

“Y/N, I’ve never—”

“I know they’re everywhere, throwing themselves at you, but I never thought you let them get to you.”

“Stop!”

“What!”

“I’ve never cheated on you!” He shouted in a tone I had never heard before, the look of pain present in his eyes began.

“That’s not what people are saying.” I muttered, suddenly feeling guilty.

“People? What people?”

“Who do you think! She said you two—”

“That’s a lie! I only see her during performances. That’s it. Y/N, I would never do that to you.”

“How am I supposed to believe you after that? She kissed you and you let her.”

“No, no, no! I didn’t let her! I wasn’t even paying attention to her. When I’m on stage, I’m there to perform. Why would I spend weeks planning for your visit just to betray you?”

“She was so awful to me, the things she said, then, she went out there and—”

“Got herself fired.”

“Michael, I’m pissed, but I’ll get over it. I don’t want this to affect business. You don’t have to fire her.”

“I already did.”

“Michael—”

“I only want to work with people who respect me and my loved ones. She won’t be missed. I don’t care to have people around me that I can’t trust.”

“I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I accused you of—” Michael shut me up, gripping my hips, pressing my body against his and kissing me sloppily. His hand claiming a possessive hold of the back of my neck, deepening his touch.

"I love you." he spoke into my mouth, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine. I felt myself tremble as his fingers explored my inner thigh, pushing up my skirt to give himself more access.

"I love you." I said, slipping my fingers around his belt buckle. He smiled knowingly, pushing me back, my ass collided with the counter and I felt myself crumble at his roughness. The cold countertop causing me to let out a moan. He pulled away for a moment, reaching behind me and clearing off the counter in one swift movement. "Such a gentleman." I purred in his ear as he picked me up.

"Only for you." A smirk on his face as the sound of nylon tearing filled my ears. "I love how sexy these look on you. I'll have to replace them." His long fingers slipping pass the freshly shredded fabric of my panties and teasing me one finger at a time. He watched as my head leaned back onto the mirrored wall, he chuckled as I struggled to find something to grab onto.

"Michael!" I was fighting to breath feeling him knuckle deep inside of me, hitting the right spot. "Fuck! Deeper!" I begged for more. Contrary to my needy cries, he pulled back, leaving me feeling empty as he unbuckled his belt, letting his pants fall to the ground. I took this opportunity to tear his shirt off, throwing it across the room.

Michael pushed my legs apart, admiring how much I yearned for him, he slowly pulled me towards him with a strong grip on my legs. My bare ass slide across the counter painfully slow until I finally felt his hard tip press against my entrance.

"Always so wet and ready for me." He slammed into me, giving me no time to adjust which threw me further over the edge.

"Harder!" I yelled as he pounded into me with such intensity I swear I could feel him rearranging my guts.

"Baby, I want to cum inside of you." His voice smooth, making me even more wet.

"Please!" The walls were shaking as we continued to devour one another.

"You're fucking perfect." He whispered against the bare skin of my chest, I felt him everywhere. My eyes rolled back as his dick massaged all the right places.

Suddenly, the door swung open violently, causing me to panic and try to cover my exposed chest, but Michael stopped me. He grabbed my wrists trapping them behind my back in on of his hands as he increased his speed again. My moans escaped my throat against my will as tears of pleasure rolled down my cheeks. At this point, my entire body was shaking, Michael's tongue rolling against mine elongating my high further.

"What the fuck are you doing!" A voice shouted, causing my head to snap in the direction of its origin. Tatiana.

"You feel so good wrapped around my dick." He declared as he sucked on my neck. It was impossible to concentrate on anything else but his lips. "I'll never get tired of fucking this perfect pussy." Michael didn’t stop. He spoke clearly and confidently as he fucked me with purpose.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Tatiana yelled.

"Y/N!" Michael whimpered, his seed spreading within me, causing my legs to tingle. He gazed deep into my eyes, beads of sweat trailing down his face. "I fucking love you." His hand gently curled around the side of my neck, pulling me back into his sweet mouth.

"What the fuck!" Another shout from the demon herself. I paid it no mind. Looking back at Michael, his long dick still twitching inside of me.

"I love you baby." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, leaning into his neck to leave my mark. Tatiana stood there staring at us in shock, so naturally I challenged her stare. I waited to see if Michael would break focus, but he didn’t.

“We are busy in here. Close the door on your way out.” Michael said sternly between breaths, not even sparing her a glance.

The door slammed shut seconds later and it was only then that I took the time to look around the dimly lit room. Make-up and personal belongings littered the floor. Various unfamiliar items surrounded us, leading me to believe that I was made apart of one very well thought out, very devious plan and it turned me on.

"Michael?"

"Yes, my love?"

“This isn’t your dressing room, is it?”

“Nope.” He smiled triumphantly, planting tender kisses all over my face.

“You’re so sneaky.”

“You’re my girl. That’s never changing.”

“You quite literally marked your territory.” I giggled as he caressed my collarbone, watching as goosebumps formed.

“Oh, Y/N, baby, I’m just getting started. We’re gonna be here all night.”

“Let’s see what you got rockstar.”

“Baby, don’t make me carry you out on that stage and give those lovely people an encore they’ll never forget.”

“A girl can dream can’t she?”

I winked teasingly as I positioned myself onto my knees, looking up at the man I love, confident I was about to give him the best head of his life.

#michael jackson #michael joseph jackson #king of pop #michael jackson imagine #michael jackson x reader #michael jackson imagines #michael jackson fanfic

[friesian]

my father is dead and i couldn't be happier.

the following is a sort of. reconciliation/vent post since i just got the news a few hours ago that my father died, and i finally feel like i can sort of talk about everything that happened to me as a child. for the first time. without the threat of potential violence. so. tw for neglect, abuse, parental death and honestly just. a lot. if you don't like the most stereotypical 'bad dad' shit, don't read this post.

my father was a cruel man. it was only until recently i was informed that my father used to actually shake me as a baby, no more than a few days old. when i was a few months old, he used to do the same to watch my 'funny reactions' and had to be actively reprimanded by aunt and mother in order to get him to stop lest i die a very sudden death.

when i was a little kid, my father i guess got this idea in his head that i was a little innocent flower and that if anything touched me, that'd be it. i'd be sullied. i'd be dirtied. somehow 'impure'. mind you, my father wasn't a religious man. really, honestly, the opposite. i wasn't allowed to talk about religion or god, explore spirituality, really have 'faith'. this would earn me hostile looks, a loud scolding, or called stupid. this also might displace onto my mom, who received it much worse than me.

when i was 7, my father made the move to go somewhere out into the deep west virginia mountains where i would never be in danger. except by him. we moved to a place where the closest store was 45 minutes by car, getting home from school was 35 minutes-- not counting school bus routes, that was up to 2-3 hours-- and there was not a single neighbor that could see the house nor talk to us. we were alone. for good. for over 11 years of my life i was alone in a house with a man who grew actively more and more hostile to being in that house. as i aged, tried to be a teenager, explore my gender, sexuality, ect. it was all shut down. my computer-- my only lifeline-- was bugged with spyware that allowed him to look at my screen and take control of anything i was doing. a vivid memory of mine is when i used to write fanfiction of innocent teenager things. kissing, holding hands, professions of love, the usual-- nothing explicit. at some point i was caught and had my computer thrown and i was screamed it. i could only run to my room and cry, and hope i wasn't chased. this left me with no sense of privacy, as any computer or technology i ever got passed through him, and as he was a engineer for networking, most things were bugged by him first as much as i tried to remove them. my mom suffered similarly to i, both of us being called slurs and having things thrown at us for existing in his radius. we walked on eggshells. we had no room to breathe. if we weren't in his general space, we were yelled at for avoiding him. if we were actually there, we were yelled at for laughing or even breathing too loud. there was no right answer. my friends never wanted to visit because of him, or he would often get mad at their parents for being 'flakes' or 'untimely', leading for me to be berated about my choice of friend. i wasn't allowed to go out unless it was with 'other girls', and i didn't have many friends to begin with due to the many social problems i faced due to his neglect. i grew up in that house, with many other issues i can't even begin to list, but i grew up and left as soon as i could, and didn't really do much. mostly just coasted by after dropping out of college that he pressured me to be in, lest i end up homeless. my mom divorced him shortly after i left due to being threatened with a gun, and at that point i was pretty sure he was officially off the deep end. this is sort of my 'getting it off my chest' moment as i was never able to speak out about what i faced in any regard due to him consistently monitoring my online presence. for all i know, he could've known about this blog-- choosing to hold onto it for some sort of legal proceeding as he had done to my mother. he tracked her car, recorded her calls, did everything he could to fuck her over. his father did something similar to him back in the 90s, and i needed to avoid it at all costs.

he never got the chance now. i never felt like i had a father, more like an angry dragon that guarded a tower with someone who didn't wanna be there. some sort of 'king' that transformed into a dragon, i suppose. but, i remember relating a lot to the imagery of people trapped in towers by beasts. i wanted to make a comic about it at one point. 11 years of solidarity does a lot to a motherfucker.

to this hour, i haven't shed a tear. i cheered and celebrated, put on my mask as i'm talking to the funeral home people, family, his friends, whatever it is. i've just been blaise and calm. i have to go back to my 'tower' this weekend and see it for the first time in years, now with the memory of my father dead seeped in those walls.

it's been a relief i didn't know i needed, but that house haunts me with the horrors that went on in it. i guess this is sort of my testimony to his life. i refuse to have a funeral. i refuse to have a memorial. he's being cremated and disposed of as soon as i can. i can already tell what little remains of his side of the family has an issue with it, but i don't care. they didn't live the life me and my mom had, and they never will now. for what it's worth, somehow, even though i was forged in fires that i don't think any man should go through-- it made me a more hardened and aware person. you get time to think when you're alone for 11 years. a lot of time to see emotions, patterns, understand, and just pick things apart. he never knew me, elf, he knew my dead name. and i'm thankful for that. i came out a good man all things considered, i have my flaws and issues, but who doesn't. but at least i never was like him. here's to getting out of the tower.

#ly talks #tw parent death #tw abuse #tw trauma #just. the whole nine yards. #thanks for reading if you did. it feels good to put down words to what i experienced finally. i don't have to be quiet anymore. #i might be quiet-er these next few weeks handling all the legal stuff. sorry.

[sciderman]

im so happy for you that you have a possible reason/cause for your brain itch!!!! i hope the tumor removal goes superduper smoothly. Do they know how long its been present/growing???????? how did you find out??? <- you obviously do not have to answer these personal medical questions lmao im just!!!! so curious and excited for you.

from what i've discussed with the docs it's been there for a LONG time... they say this sort of thing might take up to a decade to develop - it doesn't happen overnight!

i think i started noticing symptoms about maybe... 7 years ago? literally as soon as i started working full-time, maybe. my first job stressed me out so much and i cried underneath the tables at 8pm because i couldn't leave the office, i still had so much to do. i was leading up an entire ass animation department at 20 years old. bad. awful. that's when i started depending on things to get me through the day. my body started feeling awful. i thought it was anxiety, or me just being weak, i guess. i don't know if stress created the tumor, or the tumor created the stress - (well, it's the latter now) i think it's probably both, but all the research i've done and what the doctors have said is that there's just - some people with a genetic predisposition for it.

it's funny - i never miss a deadline, and i'm really really good at my job, always. i never let anyone down, ever, at the cost of my own sanity, and i seem to always, always have it put-together when i'm dealing with people - i have the constant consensus from everybody around me that i'm the most cheerful person to work with on this here planet earth - but apparently, my body was falling apart underneath it all - which i failed to recognise, because outwardly i was holding it together so well, and figured it was just normal to cry all the time when nobody was looking.

i started really noticing it after taking on a lot of freelance work on top of my day job – i was really doing very hot, and did these amazing projects for some really amazing clients who sought me out for being amazing (i am amazing) - but naturally, had consecutive nights of no sleep, and quick deadlines - and INVOICING... screams. and just, realised - after taking those jobs that - my heart did not stop pumping afterwards. my heart was still racing a mile a minute, even after all those jobs were done and dusted and ever-so-loved and appreciated by very happy clients. my heart. wouldn't. stop.

i figured it was MAJOR anxiety, and sought out some counselling sessions, hoping they'd help. i relayed my woes. i said i'm worried i'm not resting enough. i'm not sleeping enough. my heart rate won't go down. they said "oh. not everybody needs 8 hours sleep, don't worry about it. everyone's different." - for some reason that reassured me. i thought it was okay. okay. i don't need rest. maybe my body's just different and doesn't need rest. maybe that's why i wake up at 6am every morning without fail. i just don't need sleep, i guess. (bad advice.)

so – everyone is telling me i'm okay. i should just get on. you're barely sleeping? that's fine, you probably don't need it. your heart is pumping? that's healthy. your heart SHOULD pump, idiot. get back to work.

i felt very unhappy at work - i felt like i was stagnating - so i moved job, last year. i moved job to one that was so, so much more fast-paced. i thought the excitement and change would do me good - but i've been facing maybe - 3 deadlines a day? vs my previous one-deadline-a-month arrangement. and i think it broke me. i needed to depend on so many unhealthy habits to get me through the day. i needed like 6 energy drinks, 3 coffees, i'd have the shakes, i'd have the jitters, i'd feel like i was going to fall apart every single day.

and then, one day, i did.

one week last year i doubled over - my body was in so much pain that i couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, and worst off - i couldn't work. it was the first time i'd taken sick leave - i couldn't function. after being on antibiotics that didn't work, i eventually went into the emergency room because i just couldn't sleep. i couldn't do anything. i didn't care if they put me down, i wanted the pain to end.

she was a kidney stone. her name was sharon (sharon stone) - i suspect it was all the energy drinks that made her. i've dealt with her now. but during the process, the doc pulled me aside, and he said "dear. do you have any pain in your other kidney?"

i said... no............... why?

doc said "ah. problem for another time."

so, once sharon was dealt with, obviously i had to chase up on that doctor's ominous warning. i said "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY OTHER KIDNEY!!"

you have a tumor, dear. his name is lamar. he's on your right adrenal gland, and we suspect he's messing up all your hormones.

i did my own research, and turns out all these crazy, mysterious symptoms i've been having all line up - so i chased, and chased, and chased.

the doctors didn't take me seriously at first. because i guess i'm not in pain, and i handle it so well. i'm still so strong. i'm a fighter, i guess. whatever. but, turns out...

it's worth it to chase. your life might depend on it. i'm so glad i did, because there's an end to my suffering (dear god, i hope) - but, guys, if your heart won't slow, and you chronically can't relax, and you feel like there are bees in your brain - that's the time to do some research. it isn't normal, actually. and sure - it might not be a tumor, but - kid, you need some support. you need some help. you need to ask some questions. it's not okay for that to be your baseline. your body needs to rest. it needs to rest. even if i have to force it to. it has to rest.

right now i'm in a major stressed way, and i broke down and cried. i'm in the middle of a freelance job, and in the middle of an interviewing process for a new full-time job, and still working my current full-time job with 3 deadlines a day, and my surgery is next week. and i feel like crying. all the time.

i can't wait for rest. i hate that i literally have to be hospitalised to get it. but, i'll get it. i'm going to rest so fucking hard.

#sci speaks #sighss.... sighshss. #im going to cry some more now i think. it's a stress relief thing. #i say “i don't have anything to stress about” but fact is. i Do actually always have something to stress about. under capitalism. #it's no wonder i have a stress tumor. it's no wonder. in this economy?? #and i know i have it so much better than other people do. so how do other people survive???????????????

[st-just]

hi I like your blog. I have a question that may be too personal so no hard feelings if you don't answer but could you talk a little bit about more about what you like/don't like about Halifax? im considering Dalhousie for grad school but have never been! and would like to have as much information about where I might spend the next 2 years of my life. thank you!

Oh sure! Though like, it depends on where you're coming from? Everything here is very relative. And also I'm absolutely certain I will forget numemrous vital things, do ask followup questions.

Most important thing is that the housing market is horrifying - the city's population started booming during COVID and the zoning and construction is only really starting to catch up now. Especially within walking distance of Dal getting a place to live at anything approaching affordable is going to be vicious. (This has unsurprisingly coincided with a large uptick in homelessness. Unremarkable to walk by a tent in a corner of some public park now).

Relatedly, the bus system is like - okay I'm not sure it's notably bad for a mid-sized-ish north american city, but it's damn sure not any better. You can get by bussing around on the peninsula, anywhere beyond 20 minute drives turn into 40-60 minute rides.

You will not have a family doctor, figure out the nearest walk-in clinic you can use for anything non-emergency.

The city's economy runs on some combination of students, tourists, sailors and soldiers. There are as many bars as you might expect (had the most per capita in the country for a while, don't know if we still do). Some of them are actually very good!

Relatedly, weed and liquor are both only legally sold by the crown corporation monopoly and a few weird specialty places.

None of them are massive, but there is a very nice amount of parkland and green space scattered throughout the city. The public (botanical) gardens are really beautiful in the spring-summer, and most are well-maintained (they just renovated and expanded the outdoor pool on the city Commons last year, even).

The waterfront has been thoroughly gentrified for the cruise ships over the course of my lifetime, but it's all still open to the public and grabbing one of the armchairs or hammocks to read in during the summer is lovely.

Provincially the government is the most thoroughly domesticated/red tory party in the country (they fairly literally ran to the left of the liberals). Full of corrupt backslapping, constantly getting into pissing matches with the municipal government, will probably govern for the next decade.

For reasons that I assume are downstream of all the students and having the closest thing to a regional theater scene east of Quebec, the whole city is IME very queer-friendly. For reasons I absolutely not understand, pride is in August here.

The public library system is basically the only part of the municipal government I think anyone involved should be unequivocally proud of, but it is great.

I don't really know the crime stats offhand but like, I left my apartment door unlocked probably 7 times in 10 through all of undergrad and it never bit me in the ass?

#hope any of that helps? #my beloved provincial backwater

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Pausing halfway through reading one of your fics to pop in and say I really love your narration and character voices. It’s not common in fanfic for an author to write in a way that’s layered enough for the reader to gain their own insights and conclusions. Like I’m in the last chapter of therianthropy and there’s the stuff that happens on the same page when there’s dissonance between thoughts and actions or when Karen buys Matt the sympathy muffin and Matt’s mad that that tactic totally works, and there’s also the longer story motifs that must be so hard to tie together when you’re publishing at the same time as actively writing.

The bit that got me to stop is when teenage Matt’s at Fogwell’s. Previously we saw Fogs starting to talk about the little boxing found family and Matt’s all “oh geez I hope he doesn’t start the lecture about sacred boxing fraternity 🙄”. And on its own this was a great scene because it showcased the characterisation of Fogs, Matt and Lisa in a few short paragraphs. Fogs is real passionate about this one thing, Matt’s heard this windbag go on about it a million times and is comfortable enough to be a little bitch, and Lisa’s relaxing for the first time in a /long/ while. And it’s beautiful.

But then. BUT THEN!!!!!!! This *fucking* speech Fogs was about to launch into!!!!!! Is the very thing that made Matt feel genuinely loved for the first time since Jack died!!!!!!!! Nearly ten years!!!!!!!!! And when Matt finds this traumatised teenage soldier that needs reassurance, love and support, he takes her to the the place where that unconditional care was given to him all those years ago and arhgrgahgrhhogohrgohhhh don’t even get me started on kintsugi ok I hope u never stop creating ok ur fics make me wanna howl at the fucking moon

2/2 Sorry my coherency evaporated real quick there. Your stories are also laugh out loud funny

Hello extremely kind ask I have neglected in my ask box for far too long. Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and made me feel more competent than I actually am.

The tough part about fanfiction is that everything y'all get is basically a first draft because, like you said, it's publish-as-you-go and I don't have the chance to go back and rewrite the story to be more cohesive. Like, the act of writing itself means the plot and characters are still developing, and i really rely on editing and second drafts for that in a way that's not super possible with fanfiction. Sometimes the characters just Do Things and i'm like "wha--stop that. why are you. since when do you. why didn't you do that like 100k words ago." and it gives it a very flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants vibe from my perspective.

I am a very big fan of Recycling when it comes to my writing, and i think it makes it seem a little more put-together than it is. Like, I always have big Scenes in my head that exist from the start of the story that I know are going to make an appearance, so I just bury references to them them I need to craft the moments leading up. Or, if I don't have a scene planned and there's something missing, I tend towards trying to tie it back to something that already existed in the story, so there's a little bit more of a common line running through it. Granted, if you do this too much it seems a little kitschy, so I don't always do it, but I'm a firm believe in using what you have to the fullest extent.

If i recall correctly, Fogs' confusing Matt into staying by just sort of talking until he passed out was a Big Scene and I was just planting my chekov's guns like a deeply unqualified gardner who should have been fired a long time ago and never given access to the guns safe. I knew that I wanted Lisa being taken in by Matt to parallel his own recovery from Stick, so it was sort of low-hanging fruit to have Fogs go off on the same rant. I also kind of liked it because I think time does a lot for reframing how we think of things.

Like, when Matt first gets Fogs' speech about Ancient Sumerian Men Beating The Hell Out Of Each Other, he's half starved, half feral, and trying to fling himself back out into the hostile streets of New York because he feels safer alone than he has ever felt with other people. He passes out, wakes up with a blanket over him and Fogs asleep at his desk even when he doesn't have to be. Like you said--it's the first time in a very long time that he's felt safe.

Then, when he's in the future, it's just very casual. It's not really framed as remarkable, and Matt doesn't hold it in his mind as something that glitters. I thought it showed an enormous amount of healing for him to be so comfortable with Fogs that he didn't seem to remember that this was something that once brought him to tears.

And you're also right about Matt bringing her there--it was easy recycling in the sense that i needed to answer the question of "where would he bring this traumatized child he doesn't know how to help" and figured the answer was "probably the place that helped him."

Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and I'm very glad you like my writing

#if you have an unanswered ask in my ask box you are not being ignored I’m just still chipping away at them #one day I’ll finish cleaning out my ask box and it will be over for all you bitches #see I go through this cycle where I start to answer them and then I can’t finish in one sitting and then it sits in my drafts for months #when i say some have been in my drafts for like. a year. #see i was doing them in order that they came in but that just ended in a lot more asks getting very old so now i just answer at random #with zero rhyme or reason #will you get an answer in a minute or a year even i don't know #but yeah from my perspective its messy screaming hurtling down a cliff and landing wrong but trying to make it look purposeful #i'm thrilled and touched you like it

[widowshill]

personal.

#// tbd #// personal #// vent #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and exhausted. #man it has been. sort of a rough day. i stumbled on some pictures accidentally and i. really miss the person i was then. #i miss the friendship i had with that person. i miss the excitement i had for the future; the fun i had with mundane things. #the sense of trust and belonging with them. the way i could communicate with them about anything. #in hindsight was it necessarily for the best that I always wanted their approval and to impress them? well. no. #but i was always pushing to be better. dress better. be funnier. be successful. driven. a better artist; a better writer; a better friend. #partly i think university burnt me out; or just. The State of Things. but I've been thinking so much about apathy. #how i struggle now to plan out anything even two weeks in advance; forget to make reservations til the last minute; miss out - #on buying tickets because i forgot. but the trip I had with them I was excited about and planning for *years* #i'm trying to be better at answering messages and keeping up with people it's just so. i don't know. i've been feeling very unmoored. void. #i've never been *great* at interpersonal relationships but that ... did not help. #i wish i would have handled things differently. i feel like these things aren't supposed to affect you 5 years later #and after you've gone through undergrad but it still ... does. #what they did hurt but they only acted that way because i didn't. get it. i didn't understand why i felt the way i did #or what it was i was feeling. and even when i did i didn't handle it well. so. natural consequence #and now i just have a weird reaction to *any* friends having a romantic life which is not. can't be like that. can't be doing that. #that's not realistic or sustainable for friendships. #and now that i don't have grades / faculty attention/approval to strive for and sustain me it's. well. it's something. #whatever. i'm sure my personal life being irreversibly tanked by this will all work out in the end. #[crunchy black and white mr. incredible dot jpeg]

[icewindandboringhorror]

everyday I miss miitomo .. aaa

#these screenshots are not even good or the most interesting/funny/cool ones from back then #they just so happen to be ones I found in a folder so am thinking about them solely for the memory of it all #WORST thing is I never even had friends (still don't have friends really that have many similar interests to me lol..epic hermit moment) who #played or were willing to do I didn't really use the social aspects much. if there were any?? maybe I'm just making up a better game in my #head lol.. I thought maybe you could visit your friends apartments at some point or something? I know you could have multiple mii characters #and put them in their own apartments too. #I could also be mixing it in my mind with tomodachi life. which is a superior game. but also I think mostly I just loved the dress up and #photo creation aspects of this. That you could spend like 30 minutes putting your little avatar person in different lttle poses with differe #nt backgrounds and import your own custom background and etc. etc. And the community questions & answers section was always ridiculous #WHY is it that all actually good and cool things end up shutting down and nobody cares about them but then some tv shows/games/etc. can keep #going for like 808989598590 years when they are actually very bad and stinky and pointless #I know probably something somehting profit motive. if something sucks but is hyped blindly and sells then that's all that matters. #things that are cool and innocative but have a small audience get poo poo pee pee Not Good Enough For Shareholders whatever #>:( #This is why I don't play apps or online games /anything live service or that is dependent on external things to function #Like every once in a while I do but for the most part if something is not it's own self contained experience then I dont care to even get #invested in the first place because it could just randomly be taken away from you at any time without warning or etc. #Also just charmed by anything that incorporates personality tests into part of the structure of an app even in a minor.comepletely trivial w #ay due to my preexisting obsession with anything in the realm of that topic (enneagram. mbti. etc. even astrology. just any way humans categ #orzie and analyze themselves. NOT because I think they're all scientifically valid methods and swear by them in practuce but like. the theor #y of it. I love personaliy testing from like.. a cultural perspective? like the fact that humans make this stuff up at all. and how they use #it and conceptualize it and apply it to their lives. the different frameworks within which the same traits can be categorized in different w #ays. one person looks at X trait and says its bc theyre a virgo. another explains the same exact trait by saying it's bc theyre an infj. etc #I mean some of them I do find actually personally fun to get into themselves (enneagram mostly) but mostly I just like the.. analysis #tfw you're such an analytical person you like to spend time analyzing analysis. Thinking abt the ways people think about thinking abt things #Actually Ive talked before about how I don't relate to/care about/get emotionally attached to media/dont exhibit Fan Behviors or join fandom #s or etc. BUT that is actually the one vaguely media related thing I WILL do. after watching something I like going to places like that #'personality database' site which is the public voting on character's personality types. and I do enjoy going to read the comments. not bec #ause I care about the character themselves. but I love seeing the paragraph long debates about like.. why Whoever is actually an intp NOT an #intj . or like 'OBVIOUSLY theyre 3w4 so/sp ILI are you FUCKING BLIND??!'. essays breaking down every cognitive function they ehibit and why

[fratboykate]

She’s dating a homophobe so we gotta make Kate/yelena like extra gay. Let’s wife them both up so hard

What's a "Kate"? Don't know it lol

But jokes aside, the fact that y'all continue to support women who keep getting in bed with THE worst men just because you "stan" them is why we're going to get absolutely fucked by those who want us dead or back in the closet. You'll keep being lulled by these folks while the people in power strip our rights piece by piece. Like...that purple album that came out yesterday should've gotten ZERO streams. At least not from anyone who isn't a straigt white conservative. No one with a brain should've talked about it after who that woman has knowingly dated...TWICE. But instead I've seen endless videos of POC and queer people who still swear she's secretly gay hosting listening parties and singing the songs. These celebs know they can do whatever they want and you're going to keep giving them your time, attention, and hard earned money no matter what so, why change or even hide who they really are at this point? It's genuinely a bummer. Y'all are super into "accountability" and bring out the "dragging"/"canceling" energy for the dumbest shit. But when it actually involves your fave??? Nowhere to be found.

#rants #celebrity worship and stan culture is brain poison #like another clear example is Keke in all of the discourse that's come out I haven't seen ONE person 'Hmmmm wait a minute' #you think they pulled all of those receipts of him being an antiblack trabsphibic misogynyst #and that this man didn't say ANYYYY of those things in front of Keke once??? that she didn't know who he was??? that he had a kid with him?? #like...absolutely drag him to hell and back because he's a piece of shit but she's getting off too clean here #even if these women don't say these things out loud...they sit in rooms where their men say this shit with their whole chests #and continue to be with them #that makes them complicit #there's literally no excuse #but not one person is questioning why she was with this man for years??? unbelievable #even if you are 'someone who doesn't believe those things' #if you can put your moral/ethical compass aside for some dick you're NOT a good person #if you can fall in love with someone who believes and says those things out loud you're NOT a good person #but y'alls ability to look past shit is incredible #incredibly embarrasing I mean #if I wasn't so lazy I'd change my url because 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 #anonymous #answers

[illgiveyouahint]

The strategy for talking to my dad on the phone goes like this:

He asks how I am. I start telling him something absolutely meaningless, either about my job or about my flat. He at some point hooks on some detail of it all and starts rambling about his own experiences, and I know the next 20 minutes I can just tune out until it's time to say goodbye.

#hana's random text posts #the first 5 minutes are the danger zone where he feels like he wants to know about my private life #but he soon forgets it in order to tell me about his life #so it's just the survival of the first 5 minutes #I do feel the increased need to come out to him though #since I feel like he suspects something and wants me to say it #but I never do #and it's getting increasingly awkward the more time passes #'cause like at this point I will have to be like #hey dad I'm bi and have known for 6 years #and have been in the queer association even leading it for 6 years #and I just never told you #like it's inevitable that it will be hella awkward #and he will have a lot of questions that I really don't want to answer #*sigh*

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

There's a viral video circulating from the Fort Worth Zoo, of two keepers who ended up in a habitat at the same time as a silverback gorilla. Spoiler for good news: neither the humans nor the gorilla got hurt. It's a bad situation that ended extremely well, and that's why I want to talk about it.

The audio for this video is mostly someone praying loudly, so if you need to turn the audio off to watch it, you won't miss anything relevant. If you don't want to watch it, here's the summary: it starts with a keeper running around the corner into the main exhibit, pursued by a large male gorilla. She is quickly able to get into a doorway at the back of the exhibit, but does not completely close the door because the gorilla is standing across from her, watching. He eventually moves off to the right hand side of the exhibit, where we can see a keeper is trapped in the corner at the front. She was trying to move towards the exit as he moved to the right, and she stops, standing very still behind a tree, while he stays along the far right wall. They stay like that for a minute, and then the gorilla runs to the front right corner, and the keeper is able to run to the door in the back of the exhibit and get to safety.

Let's start with basic information. Even though it's just going viral now, this video is from October of 2023. It was taken not by a guest, but by the zoo security officer responding to the situation. Hmmm, seems like he maybe should have been doing something else during that situation, instead of than taking a phone video. It's going viral now because the guy (who is no longer employed at the zoo) decided to post it on TikTok for his five minutes of fame. This guy immediately started giving all sorts of media interviews, answering questions like "why no tranquilizers" inappropriately, making memes out of his own video, generally distasteful shit.

Zoo spokesperson Avery Elander gave a public statement that "thankfully, there was no physical contact between keepers and gorilla, and all staff and animals are safe." A comment from the zoo has also indicated that the incident was due to keeper error. (As opposed to, for instance, something in the fencing breaking.) According to the guy who posted the video, a lock was left unsecured and the gorilla was able to open the door to the habitat. I don't know if I buy it, and again, this just... is probably why he doesn't have a job anymore. By sharing that detail - real or not - he places a ton of public scrutiny and blame on that keeper team. (If that's what happened, I can promise you it will have been dealt with internally.) He also was nice enough to say he wouldn't name the women in the video... but verified they're still staffers at the zoo... which means they're eminently identifiable! Excuse me while I ragequit for a second.

So there's two reasons I wanted to talk about this. The first is to make sure it is well known that this guy is purposefully and intentionally exploiting the worst day of someone's life for media attention. Their lives were in danger, and he's using it for fame. His name is in the media articles - I'm not going to share it because he doesn't deserve that attention. The second reason, though, is because this video is a masterclass on how to survive if you end up sharing space with a gorilla. Every zoo person I've spoken to or seen comment on the video is so, so impressed with how the keepers handled themselves.

The gorilla in this video is 34-year-old Elmo. All apes in AZA zoos are managed in protected contact, so keepers are supposed to be separated from them by a barrier at all times. The zookeepers were in the habitat putting out a mid-day meal when he got out. Watching the video, you can see he's not actively being aggressive towards them - he's not making threat displays or trying to approach them. Mostly, Elmo seems like he doesn't know what is going on and he's kinda freaked out about it. (This is confirmed in the zoo's press statement, too). The staff stayed calm, and importantly, watched and waited to see how he'd move and act.

The zoo did say one thing, though, that's a bit misleading. In one article, their press person I quote as saying “In general, gorillas are considered the “gentle giants” of the great ape species.” Just because this may be true in comparison to other great ape species doesn't meant gorilla aren't still incredibly dangerous. This type of messaging always worries me, because I think it leads people to misunderstand the risks of being close to megafauna. Gorilla are extremely strong animals, and their social norms/behaviors are very different from that of humans. That's why it's such a big deal any time people end up in gorilla habitats, and why sometimes in those circumstances lethal measures have to be taken to protect human life.

These keepers are incredibly lucky to be unharmed. These women stayed safe specifically because they're trained professionals who knew how to act around gorilla, they knew this particular animal well, and they'd learned the escapes from the exhibit just in case this ever happened. We should applaud them for their cool heads and quick thinking.

As for the guy who posted the video? As a colleague put it, may he always step on a Lego.

#gorilla #gorilla video #viral video #zoo animals #zoo animal welfare #fort worth zoo