#wow i read the ivory key a whole 100 books ago

[plantdad-dante]

Book #138 - The Crimson Fortress by Akshaya Raman

(probably the only book with "published first draft" vibes that I would pay actual money to read a re-do of)

So, uh... what the shit happened?

Don't get me wrong, the first half of this book was fine. Maybe stumbling a bit, here and there, but The Ivory Key did, too, so, like... it's fine. Especially because fuck, was I looking forward to this! And then...

And then the pacing just started picking up speed and kept getting faster and faster and faster, until the details, the descriptions, the explanations, the transitions, the character beats, disappeared from the page and it was just action, just plot, like a fucking summary-

Okay. To maybe illustrate what I mean, an example. There is a chapter, close to the climax, that is about 1.5 pages long (for the last ~100 pages, the chapters shorten from about 8-15 pages to 1-4 pages. Feel like that's important to mention) and it's from Ronak's perspective. In it,

- he sees his sister faint - he registers that there are no further traps in the room, other than the thing that made Vira faint and that seems to have been a one-time thing - he knicks The McGuffin (that he had given to Vira in the first place, so why even- ugh) from Vira - he decides to just carry her, because they need to continue their search for The Villain and hopefully she'll wake up on the way? - he hears and then sees The Villain's Goons draw near and realizes he can't hide - he decides to throw the McGuffin he just knicked at the enemies as a distraction, so that he has time to run? (btw, this is the last McGuffin the bad guys need to complete the Evil Plan and Ronak knows that, ffs) - he flees, carries Vira to safety - Vira wakes up and he tells her that he gave away the McGuffin

... in one and a half pages. And this isn't a dense, 6-point font kinda book. This is a normal, standard YA formatted book.

The fact that Ronak gave away the McGuffin never leads to conflict, btw. The next Vira chapter does not start with her yelling at him. It does not feature a fight, or even a discussion, or at least a mention of what Ronak did. It is just accepted, and then not mentioned again, like Ronak didn't do something extremely short-sighted and dumb, yet a-fucking-gain.

Also, Kaleb is just kind of a non-entity in the final showdown? Like, he has the Secret Weapon to Deafeat The Villain, and he hands it over to a very hurt Vira, who limps across the room to get it from him, so she can then limp back to the somehow still distracted Villain to defeat her?? And that's all he does, that's his entire contribution to the fight. We don't even get to know where he is in the room. So basically, Kaleb just stands there, paralysed by things outside his control, watching his siblings do their usual things (Riya - be rebellious and combative, Vira - be the one chosen to do the important bit, Ronak - get himself into danger for nothing but ego) and honestly, it's like nothing changed at all between these... ... Actually, I will just choose not to read into that scene any further, if it's all the same to you.

Speaking of Kaleb, I loved his character arc (and he does have one, even if it's a bit tell-don't-show, due to the pacing problem), but it wouldn't have hurt to actually see Lukas in the denouement. Just a bit. A glimpse. A line. A presence. Or am I asking too much. Like, when Lukas was introduced and Kaleb and him started exhibiting romantic tension, I was hyped, because the blackmailing thing had so much juicy angst potential, and then it just kinda- ugh.

And the worst thing is that I can't even dislike this book! Because the imagination that I loved in The Ivory Key was still there! There is, very clearly, a lot of coherency and thought behind this story. The characters and their relationships and the plot make sense. And they stay consistent throughout. It's just that... for about 150 pages, suddenly this lavishly described, evocative world gets stripped to its bones, as if the clock is running out and it is only conveying bullet points to me anymore, because it wants to get to the end before the bell rings. And then the denouement is completely normal again, as if nothing happened. As if I fucking hallucinated this skeleton of a third act.

Ugh, what I wouldn't give to read a version of this that's... well, actually finished. Hm.

#the ivory key #the crimson fortress #akshaya raman #wow i read the ivory key a whole 100 books ago #damn how time flies