that-friend-who-feigns-innocence

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

so there's this exhibitionist who's only aroused by being looked at naked & who's extremely turned off by seeing other people naked. he can't solve this with a blindfold because he needs to visually witness his nudity being witnessed by others in order to get off but if anyone else whom he can see is naked, it just ruins things for him. his quest to bust and his aversion to the flesh of the Other leads him down an erotic road paved with selfish intentions until, by some stroke of misfortune, he stumbles into the home of a petty bureaucrat holding an orgy. nude but fleeing from the nudity of others, the exhibitionist streaks through narrow halls, down winding corridors, and finally escapes into the Mirror Room. and he sees himself, naked, for the very first time. two hours later when the orgy arrives at the Mirror Room they find a warm corpse on the floor with no reflection in the mirror. panic! screaming. fainting. chaos. the party's over, the police are called, somebody puts a sheet over the mirror because the lack of a reflection is upsetting people. week later the coroner is able to identify the body of the exhibitionist with reference to dental records and the cause of death is ruled to be sudden cardiac arrest. which is a relief because no one at the scene could even identify the body, everybody forgot what he looked like. no one could remember anything. a whole orgy detained for questioning. you can imagine the inconvenience. anyway, that's why we keep the dustcloth over it

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

Plenty of highly intelligent people end up getting sucked in to cults because they just wanted people to hang out with. There are antivaxxer nurses. Your ability to act on empirical reason breaks down fast if your social and emotional needs aren't being met.

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

The thing about parrots is that YES they will mimic you, BUT just like toddlers they also know the correct context in which to mimic you, and there will never be a time in which hearing your own voice coming out of a bird, which is staring at you intently while you eat chips, saying "is that good? Do you like that? Is it yummy?" ever feels normal

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

its of utmost importance you have sound on while watching this

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

happy pride

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

tumblr will never count as social media to me. This shit a secret hideout and we just all happen to see each others thoughts

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

There used to be a genre of video where people would just set dancing cartoon characters on fire. I miss those days, they were nice.

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

Every now and then my cis male friends bring up bottom surgery and ask me if I’m gonna get a mega shlong and I think it’s the funniest running gag we have

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

This pride we have GOT to stop making fun of bi women with boyfriends btw . I’m so so serious .

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

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[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

???

[that-friend-who-feigns-innocence]

something interesting is happening on the nexus this week