y'all ever get hit with the realization when you’re in the middle of doing something like, whoa, what the fucking shit this is real life. like this is happening right now. not even when its something crazy i mean when you’re like doing the laundry or some shit
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Human: “It must be a dreary existence, unable to love, to eat, to sleep, to laugh… I feel sorry for you.”
Robot: “I can laugh. I have a sense of humor, you know.”
Human: “Really? I’ve never heard you laugh before.”
Robot: “I’ve never heard you say anything funny.”
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on the other hand @staff is creating a fun and sexy competition to see who can make the thottiest picture without being shot for being too horny
honestly that’s true
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*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
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interview with the vampire but the interviewer is eric andre
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went to see if my late package maybe showed up without being scanned
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i put new yellow shoelaces on my boots to show people i am Cool. I walk to my work full of old lady cashiers. “I like your shoelaces.” one of them says to me. I see my life flash before my eyes as this ancient test is presented before me
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Tumblr staff right now
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I have read (and see) something about Hades and Persephone having chickens in the underworld, but this is really a fact or is something invent?
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studio killers backstory: this is cherry she likes fashion and her gf :) sometimes she gets sad but she looks at cat pictures and feels better
gorillaz backstory: demon possession! car accidents! domestic abuse! kidnapping! oh yeah babey! born to die world is a fuck!
mystery skulls backstory: dude what if shaggy just fucking killed fred
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