thedesertedsystem

[thedesertedsystem]

🍄 Raven (she/they) moodboard for @thedesertedsystem ! 🐦‍⬛

They encompass #ravencore, #plaguecore, #purplewitch, and a kind of gothic lovecore? 💜

#Raven 🐦‍⬛ #love this babe 💜 #literally me!! #mentioned #sweetberryfemme

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[alt1: userbox reads "this alter has multiple boyfriends"]

[alt2: userbox reads "this alter has multiple girlfriends"]

[alt3: userbox reads "this alter has multiple partners"]

#damien and brittany

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"mental health matters" people support DID until you ask them not to talk about a triggering topic because it puts you at severe risk of harming yourself / others because who might front

"mental health matters" people support DID until your symptoms and headmates are:

- unappealing to them

- concerning

- make you or others unsafe

- scary

- or just "weird"

"mental health matters" people care about DID until you tell them to stop spreading misinfo and stop supporting endo "systems" and tulpas

"mental health matters" people don't actually care about DID.

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every time I'm in front and another alter that accompanied me leaves I become the audio of "Michael don't leave me here!!!!!".

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Based on that one jesus meme

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sighs

Me? Be from a really obscure source? Nah, I'm just limited edition

#Ila 🔮 #from previous tumblr exploration we've seen like... maybe 3 fictives from our source i think #but usually it's the content creator and not the character :( #never seen doubles though which is surprising! #i thought id be a common fictive amongst fans of my source 😅

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You did what you could today. Even if all you could do was survive, that is something to be proud of.

Even if you could have technically done more, you should still be proud.

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Signs of having DID that I ignored (note that these are not exclusively signs of DID but they were for me):

I don't have amnesia, that's just short term memory loss because I have ADHD!

I actually have a very good memory, I'm great at memorizing things (what do you mean that's not the same thing)

sure it may seem like my mood changes drastically but I've read online that's common in people with ADHD! it's hard for us to regulate our emotions!

so what if I have different preferences from time to time? that's normal right? like when your mood changes you may prefer different foods? what do you mean that's not the same as going from "I hate spicy foods" one day to "omg I LOVE spicy foods!" the next?

yeah okay I tend to space out in the middle of conversations then come back to and need you to remind me what you said for the past 10 seconds or so. that's just my ADHD inattentiveness. what do you mean that I only do this when stressed. what do you mean that's a form of dissociation.

speaking of dissociation, sure sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself say and do things without my own input but that's just because I was tired/stressed out

yeah sometimes I go on autopilot. my autopilot seems to have its own agenda sometimes though. weird.

sure I changed usernames a *few* times but isn't that pretty common? yeah I also wanted to change how I presented online and also my pronouns and stuff but again isn't it common for people to want to start over sometimes?

*making multiple accounts to play the same game because I play the game differently on different accounts and don't want to mess things up on one account*

oh yes, I'm genderfluid! I say that because my gender absolutely changes from moment to moment and sure it seems kinda tied to other aspects of myself like color preferences and energy levels and personality traits but I'm pretty sure that's just par for the course with genderfluidity?

"you're so different when you're around your parents vs when you're at school/work vs when you're hanging out with friends!" yeah that's called being a complex person we all have different masks we wear in different social situations and I'm no different even if it seems more extreme for me

"how was school/work/the hang-out/going to visit your parents?" I don't know I'm tired and have a giant headache and can't remember

"you said this to me the other day and it made me feel <x>" what????? I literally have no memory of this and that's so incredibly out of character for me wtf I would never do that I was probably just really stressed out and tired and had no filter on.

#us fr #we had so many instances of thinking we were faking bc of downplaying our symptoms as ADHD

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plural culture is agreeing to do something tomorrow and then the next day you aren’t in the “mood”

(please, I didn’t agree to this, let me leave 😭)

Me when Vegas says he'd be down to try certain foods and I refuse to eat anything other than my safe foods

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Your trauma is valid if it’s something that isn’t traumatizing to someone else but it is to you. We are all different and react differently. It doesn’t make you weak or anything like that.

[thedesertedsystem]

Traumagenic disorders (like most disorders, I believe) can look very different in remission or during/after successful treatment than they do when someone is at their worst.

In the traumatic situations I was in, my DID presented with frequent amnesia and dissociation (depersonalization and derealization,) flat affect, and uncontrollable mood swings. Out of the situations but before treatment, it looked like frequent flashbacks and possessive switching, more amnesia, and several conflicts between alters.

Now, after a few years in therapy, my DID looks like functioning as one unit, co-consciousness and easy communication, frequent blending, and fusion being possible between even parts who had high conflict with each other.

I still have DID. It just looks different in treatment (especially since I'm working towards final fusion, it's not going to present the same way someone with untreated, unmanaged DID will present.) I've lowered dissociative barriers via work in therapy - I'm still a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I personally don't see it as "recovering from DID" but "recovering with DID." When I fuse, I will hopefully have the skills to deal with stress in a way that doesn't trigger splitting again, but I don't negate the years I struggled with this disorder. That doesn't stop being a part of my history any more than recovering from my eating disorder did.

This is not even to mention people who pursue functional multiplicity - their DID doesn't stop being DID because they're in a healthier, happier state.

No syscourse interactions.

#so real!!! #blurry 🫠

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Hey, hey, hey!!! All of you guys are doing amazing!! Keep doing what you're doing! I know things might be tough right now, but you're doing a good job!

You're loved and appreciated! You're all awesome!!!

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Something I like about the plural community here on Tumblr is that you can get to know people of all different ages. Most of us, are, of course, vague about our ages for privacy and safety reasons (as we should be), but I like how I can go and talk to plurals of all different ages here if I want to. There are teens and young adults and middle-aged folks and even a few elderly plurals I've seen here and there. It's nice to be able to look around and go, Oh, we've always been here, and we're going to continue to be here, learning and growing with and off of each other. This is what a community's all about.

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#us fr #blurry 🫠

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BORN TO FORGET

WORLD IS A BLUR

I Am Memory Issues Man

410,757,864,530 FORGOTTEN PRECIOUS MEMORIES

[thedesertedsystem]

Sometimes having DID feels like your brain whisked and now everything is apart and a messy, my brain is scrambled eggs