thehouseofspades

[thehouseofspades]

we'll make it out alive, alright, alright

[thehouseofspades]

[thehouseofspades]

AAAAAAAHHHHhH! aaahh! AH! AHHHahhhahhhAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHH! AHAHAHHHH! AHHAHHH! AHAHHAAHH!

CITIZEN! Did you know?! CoMmUnIStS have been describing me as UnStAbLe!!!

And they're right... Fuck me, I wish I was okay.

I'm not though, and my mental instability has been used an excuse to attack me! They will not cease, and it's all my fault! I'm a useless fuck-up!

Being dead would be a good alternative... but I get what I deserve

#imagine being loved by anyone

[thehouseofspades]

I must say

It is great to wish for death

[thehouseofspades]

I've gone back to playing Fallout: New Vegas. Or just roleplaying games in general. The amazing thing, that which changes everything, is that you (the person who plays the game) matters. YOU can actually CHANGE things. This is not true in real life, and occupies the "escapism" part of the game.

This is opposed to me in the actual real world. Here, I cannot possibly matter. Here, there is very little I can change. Maybe my Speech skill is just too low, but I have never changed anything by talking. The course of life of those around me, I have no effect on. The larger world, I could die, and nothing would change. My existence is, largely, pointless. I know, deep down, that this view is fatalistic. But I am a being with a fatal end.

So, frankly, what do I do? Those around me seem to want to plunge into their end, or at best prolong it.

Fuck, I guess War Never Changes.

And yet...

We MUST change war.

That is all. Do what you can.

[thehouseofspades]

I truly, deeply wish anything that I did or said mattered.

#but haha everyone knows I should die

[thehouseofspades]

I've been following the director of Fallout: New Vegas on twitter for a few years now and I can't emphasise enough that this dude is really good at posting

[thehouseofspades]

I marked this "drugs/alcohol."

But they are more of the symptom than the cause.

I have to say, expecting to be something and then being forced to be nohing hurts most beings.

Not that that could possibly matter.

Haven't you been paying attention?

Being Nothing

[thehouseofspades]

Being Nothing

[thehouseofspades]

#Artsy bullshit #Or #An accurate depiction of my general mental state

[thehouseofspades]

#K'chow lesser beings #The chosen one

[thehouseofspades]

Some knowledge is best left in the darkness.

#dark magic #Sunny-D would sell your grandma for a nickel

[thehouseofspades]

Tell 'em noname almost passed out drinkin'

#All I am is love

[thehouseofspades]

Hey there! Several (or multiple) things are wrong with me!

#I should have wrote this on a post-it note

[thehouseofspades]

Hey! No one loves me!

Winning cause it pleases god

Losing cause it pleases me!

#That's that real shit

[thehouseofspades]

Once again, I, myself, have listened to Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie.

Is this the new year? I -don't- feel any different.

#just listening to the sound of settling

[thehouseofspades]

OnTheTrailNotTheChair: Moved Smoothly Through The Smokies

The mountains and the changing leaves. The Great Smoky Mountains National Park is one of, if not the most, visited National Parks in the United States. The park receives more than 9 million visitors each year. Of course, most of these visitors will drive into the park and maybe hike a few miles. They have a very different experience compared to mine, hiking all the way through the park after…

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#Appalachian Trail #backpacking #hiking #Travelogue