thekitchenspider

[thekitchenspider]

Boyfriend: *after hearing a clip of the ghouls voice from the fallout show* you think that ghoul dick still works?

Me: it won’t after I’m done with him.

#spiders other intrests #fallout #fallout cooper howard #fallout the ghoul

[thekitchenspider]

I barely remember making this post

I’m drunk and I need my mutuals to know I love them and that they’re godob peolr even if I don’t even Eve know you guys wellq

Wlso the entire tf2 mercs are htot

[thekitchenspider]

I’m drunk and I need my mutuals to know I love them and that they’re godob peolr even if I don’t even Eve know you guys wellq

Wlso the entire tf2 mercs are htot

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier

[thekitchenspider]

Oh but if you could have it all, why do you want me?

So let me slip inside your ultraviolet disguise

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy #others art #I love old men

[thekitchenspider]

To Jonathan Realman, the guy acting as a radio show host on this tf2 server.

I hope both sides of your pillow are your preferred temperature.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier

[thekitchenspider]

“There was a spider in my kitchen- so I shot it!” -random dude on tf2 after killing me.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier

[thekitchenspider]

People who main medic deserve everything, that shit is stressful.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 demo #tf2 soldier #sniper tf2 #pyro tf2 #medic tf2 #spy tf2 #heavy tf2 #tf2 engie #stress is stored in the tits

[thekitchenspider]

I have an idea for a sniper x reader smut fic but i haven't written anything since smut was called lemons..

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 demo #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier

[thekitchenspider]

So I was just reading some, admittedly disgusting, sniper x reader fic on Ao3 and I read the comments and I found someone I follow on here, such a small world

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 fandom #it was a foul fic but I enjoyed it

[thekitchenspider]

Don’t forget his VOICE, like damn…

I get so many butterflies when I think about Dell Conagher, I'm absolutely serious. How could you not love him? He's the whole package. He's sweet, handsome, and thoughtful. He has 11 phDs, he can build machines, and he can repair your house. He could probably build you one if he wanted to. He would KILL for you. He might be psychotic, but I would say with confidence that he would be the best boyfriend in the history of anything ever. I know the fandom loves Medic (and tbh hes my hear me out haha), but I always find myself preferring Engie because he already has a lot going on and I can't believe this man does not have a whole harem of simps behind him.

I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH AHHH. You have no idea how many times I've read Loose Canon just for him.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 engie #i love men who are old enough to be my father #engineer tf2

[thekitchenspider]

Normal discord shenanigans

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 demo #tf2 soldier #tf2 scout #tf2 shitpost

[thekitchenspider]

I have never related more to sniper

The Tf2 Mercs opinions on these cookies:

Engie: That looks like a biohazard. But with milk it’d be alright.

Spy: Are you serious? That is an abomination of a cookie. Real homemade cookies and pastries always beat these cheap, disgusting knock offs.

Sniper:

*eyes red & visibly drooling*

Those are so dry but so damn good. I could fuck up that whole box. Just gimme an hour.

Scout: Dude same. Last time I had those I ended up dippin’ mine in water cuz we were all outta milk.

Didn’t taste half bad.

Engie: Now that’s just desperate.

Heavy: I agree. They are very dry. But with milk is tasty.

Medic: Ja. They are only good with milk or any other milk substitute. They taste amazing paired with vanilla almond milk.

Soldier: You queers with your nut milk. Only a true American can eat these cookies raw with no beverage! Just as God intended!

Pyro: I can only eat the pink ones with strawberry milk :3 🍓🥛

Demo: *leans into Spy’s ear*

Are ya seein’ this shit Spy? We’re the only ones here with any good taste.

Spy: Indeed. It is such a shame these men have never experienced a delicious homemade frosted sugar cookie. Or one from a proper bakery that is.

Demo: Yeah. Baked goods are best when made at home and not in some shitty lil factory. Real hands make the best desserts.

*folds arms*

Spy: Precisely.

…

I am going to make some and show everyone what the hell they are missing out on!!!

*clenches his fists & storms off to the kitchen*

Demo: I’ll help ya!

*follows right behind him*

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 demo #tf2 shitpost

[thekitchenspider]

GOD DAMN YOU CAN SWIPE A CREDIT CARD BETWEEN THEM CHEEKS

mediboobs are great but what about mediass??

#tf2 #tf2 medic #team fortress 2 #medic tf2 #ass #others art #i love men who are old enough to be my father

[thekitchenspider]

There was also one thing about sniper and edibles btw

CW: cannibalism mention, wounds being used for pleasure, mentions of drugs (weed specifically).

Found this in my drafts after a night of being stoned off my ass.

What does cock lobotomy mean? What did I mean by that?

#tf2 shitpost #i love sniper so much #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 engineer #tf2 demo #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy

[thekitchenspider]

CW: cannibalism mention, wounds being used for pleasure, mentions of drugs (weed specifically).

Found this in my drafts after a night of being stoned off my ass.

What does cock lobotomy mean? What did I mean by that?

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #i love men who are old enough to be my father #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 scout #tf2 demo #tf2 soldier #tf2 heavy #the conga music thing is normal it just happens sometimes to me i don’t even need to be zlonked

[thekitchenspider]

Y’ALL

So I buy myself some creepy crawly cases because why not

I got it

I got the burly beast

I also got a unusual spirit of the bombing past

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #sniper tf2 #tf2 heavy #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 demo #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 spy #tf2 engineer #tf2 cosmetics #this post is BLESSED

[thekitchenspider]

I did it

So I buy myself some creepy crawly cases because why not

I got it

I got the burly beast

I also got a unusual spirit of the bombing past

#tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 demo #medic tf2 #tf2 cosmetics