thematchmakingoffice

[thematchmakingoffice]

why the fuck did you put alden on della's first list when she was a hundred years younger than him and a teenager when she got that list

Della (Vacker, presumably) wasn’t a teenager when she got the list? She was over one hundred years old.

#kotlc rp #kotlc #tw cursing #ooc: #alden was said to have gotten his final matchlist later than usual #he took a break from dating to work on stuff with Quinlin for awhile #he was probably 2 or 3 hundred years old when he got his list with Della on it #meaning Della was 1 or 2 hundred years old

[thematchmakingoffice]

The tours are usually aimed at eves of ages 3-10, not the elves who are getting the match packets.

To any parents or teachers taking young children to the matchmaking office: when the council built the statue room, they wanted to show case all of the parts of “love in elven society”, which includes, uh, the process of having children (just one of course).

So if the kids are too young to be aware of this, please avoid the statue room. Thank you!

#kotlc rp #kotlc #tw sex

[thematchmakingoffice]

Reminder of the reasons we should remove the statue room from Matchmaking Office tours.

To any parents or teachers taking young children to the matchmaking office: when the council built the statue room, they wanted to show case all of the parts of “love in elven society”, which includes, uh, the process of having children (just one of course).

So if the kids are too young to be aware of this, please avoid the statue room. Thank you!

#kotlc #kotlc rp #tw sex

[thematchmakingoffice]

As the youths say, Day 55 of trying to get the Council to let me close the statue room.

#kotlc rp #kotlc

[thematchmakingoffice]

That is PREPOSTEROUS. How dare you even suggest that.

i was about to say its a good thing Alden didn't marry Alina because there's too many similar letters in their name--especially since they're both 5 letters starting with "Al," but then I realized Alden and Della are also eerily similar letter and length wise. what's going on here

#*wipes sweat off brow* #kotlc #kotlc rp #tw all caps

[thematchmakingoffice]

No they can’t, they just press the +30 seconds button a bunch.

Today I learned that apparently the length of the Foxfire school year is just on a timer? There isn’t a set amount of days, they just set a singular timer at the beginning of the year and when that runs out they stop letting students into the school.

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

”The Council is going to fire you” I don’t think they can

#kotlc rp #kotlc #I have like multiple centuries worth of experience here #they won’t even let me quit #i mean uh #I have to go through the perfectly reasonable process of putting in a 2 decades notice #and waiting for it to get approved #before quitting

[thematchmakingoffice]

Today I learned that apparently the length of the Foxfire school year is just on a timer? There isn’t a set amount of days, they just set a singular timer at the beginning of the year and when that runs out they stop letting students into the school.

#kotlc rp #kotlc

[thematchmakingoffice]

I think her name was Lady… Avela? Avea? Aveca?

#kotlc rp #kotlc

[thematchmakingoffice]

Don't people call you (the school) 'the best and most excellent school' out there?

So doesn't that technically mean that there are other schools out there? Not including Exillium.

There used to be until Alina framed them for tax evasion. She left Exillium alone so she could send the students she didn’t like there.

#SORRY WHAT HAPPENED #HOW IS SHE ALOUD TO DO THAT #WHY DID WE ELECT THIS WOMAN COUNCILOR #kotlc rp #kotlc

[thematchmakingoffice]

For anyone wondering about the office’s word on this, Former Councillor Fintan Pyren’s bosom size is considered apart of his matchmaking profile and therefore classified information.

fintan’s ass is so flat that all that’s visible of his ass/upper thigh area is a flap of skin at the very front. there’s just. nothing there. it’s a void of nothing.

.

#we also may or may not have deleted all of it when he lost his citizenship #due to joining the neverseen #who said that #kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

Does anyone know if the red coats (forbidden cities) won their civil war?

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

…

are you sure about that

So when Councillor Terik fakes an ability it's all fine and dandy but when I, Timkin Heks-

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

Is Della pretty?

Yeah

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

(ooc: what information should i put in to get a match?? im sorry im not good at rping 😭)

ooc: I do not actually give people matches I just talk about matchmaking stuff

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

#kotlc #kotlc rp

[thematchmakingoffice]

SO YOU’RE THE REASON I HAD TO GIVE THAT PRESENTATION ON FANFICTION?!?!?

elf AO3 sucks because immortals don't really place a lot of importance on speedy updates, and sometimes you have to wait over a century for the next chapter of that bronte/kenric/reader smut you were reading, by which time kenric is dead, and you've really mostly moved on from that particular fantasy anyways

#kotlc rp #kotlc #tw sex