Our professor just asked what wildlife brings in the most revenue for wildlife protection and this girl shouted “BIG SEXY MEGAFAUNA” and it really stopped class in its tracks for a whole minute and kept it stopped when the professor was like “EXACTLY!!!!”
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”
The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace.”
The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Eminence.”
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle “Well…?”
She replies, “My son is a charismatic, 6'2”, hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “My God.”
a stray cat showed up in my garden earlier and i named him todd howard as a joke but now i have to live with this because my stepfather just said “todd howard didnt eat the cat food i left out for him”