these-demons-we-are

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Ray-Ban Sunglasses

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If it weren’t for the crocheted dog I’d have probably just thought she had a twin lol

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Our professor just asked what wildlife brings in the most revenue for wildlife protection and this girl shouted “BIG SEXY MEGAFAUNA” and it really stopped class in its tracks for a whole minute and kept it stopped when the professor was like “EXACTLY!!!!”

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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace.”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Eminence.”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle “Well…?”

She replies, “My son is a charismatic, 6'2”, hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “My God.”

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Whoever’s running the humane society twitter has a great sense of humor

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a stray cat showed up in my garden earlier and i named him todd howard as a joke but now i have to live with this because my stepfather just said “todd howard didnt eat the cat food i left out for him”

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Amazon Link: https://amzn.to/2twJSuu

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Michelle Gomez as Mary Wardwell in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018-)

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Feel my blood runnin’, swear the sky’s fallin’ How do I know if this shit’s fabricated?

Ariana Grande – Breathin (2018)

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heart: randomly starts beating faster me: what is it what do you see

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Is that a promise?

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I feel extremely powerful today!!

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whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

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My cat Bishop sits outside my door every morning once she hears the alarm clock go off.

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