tinytheelder

[tinytheelder]

the direct-administered municipality of chicago

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

if yaoi is wrong …i don’t Wnat to be right…

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

The thing about Timmy Chalamet is that he’s truly a great actor and he even has good taste in projects and he’s not even overexposed when you calibrate for how overexposed all that group of 25-30 year old big stars are……however something is still off. any time he gets cast in something it feels like that movie instantly turns into a parody of a movie. I cannot explain this

[tinytheelder]

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

[tinytheelder]

So the project I'm working on may have arrived at a useful insight into resolving any lingering questions regards to the matter of the death of United States President John F. Kennedy. See, we've been working overtime to clone the man- at first I think we were planning on running some kind of quasi-Arthurian King-in-the-mountain-returns kind of scam to unify America behind a universally-appealing figurehead, and these days we're mostly just trying to figure up what was up with his hair. All that's a digression. The point is- and I'm willing to admit that the accelerated aging techniques we've been using to speed up production might be fudging this a bit, but what we've found, right, is that it probably doesn't matter who shot him because any individual sharing JFK's genetic code appears to be ontologically doomed to be killed in their biological forties by massive head trauma of some kind. It's just fate. Doesn't matter what we do, doesn't matter what measures we put in place, it just keeps happening. So far we've lost three to bog-standard out-of-the-blue aneurysms, four to shower accidents, two to horseplay, one to a secret handshake gone horribly wrong, three to baseball accidents, two to football accidents. One fatal Croquet incident, two fatal Crochet incidents. There was a thing with a falling sandbag when cohort 54z was doing their amateur production of Cats. Something really stupid happened last week that involved the compound dumbwaiter, I didn't even want to know the specifics. We took one birding and he brought the binoculars up to his eyes with too much force. We lost a dozen at once during a group trip to a travelling carnival, most of them to that strength-testing hammer game. One of them did a netti pot and there was exactly one single brain-eating amoeba in it. It never ends and it's super fucked. Honestly it's really good that we stopped teaching them what death is or else they'd be super fucking stressed all the time for no reason

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

I’m like if someone smart chose to be an idiot. Out of free will

[tinytheelder]

Wordle is running out of words. Only 2,000 five letter words remain. When that supply is exhausted the Creation shall begin. One day the word will be ZHURM, and all shall get it, and all shall understand it to mean "an ache from suddenly remembering a long-ago friend, who meant something to you once, but whose face you can no longer conjure". The next day the word shall be JOROL, and all will get it, and all will know it means "the melancholy confusion of passing by somewhere where you once could have died". The next day it will be GREFT, and all will understand it to be a small brown bird with white streaks found only in South America, and suddenly, it will appear, in the underbrush of the Amazon, in the streets of São Paulo, and all will know that it once was not there, but now, will always be

[tinytheelder]

i hate texting. lets rent an apartment and move in together

[tinytheelder]

[tinytheelder]

pull up his shirt play with his bra I guess

[tinytheelder]

we all have our own crosses to bear. for example. sometimes i enjoy a panic at the disco song

[tinytheelder]

one must imagine sisyphus bouncing on it and moaning