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Happy pride month!

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in the magnused archives. straight up “recording it”. and by “it”. haha. well. let’s justr say. My staetments.

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Graffiti in the women's bathroom at The Velvet Underground in Toronto, ON.

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its like 105° outside andhes been in his garden forlike 4 hours hesgoing to get heat stroke

stephens sitting in a lawn chair during this in a bathrobe and sunglasses and drinking a mimosa watching jett inthr garden like hes stephens poolguy and stephens a cougar orsomething

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For example, I say "can't" or "isn't," and you say "cannot" or "is not."

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An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:

Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly

The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal

Cocker spaniel named “Captain”

Stupid, the Cat

Litter of baby raccoons

Three more cats

A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM

Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out

A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction.  Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.

Turtle

Snapping Turtle

A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair.  Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.

Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently

Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.

Dummy, Son of Stupid

Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.

An “abandoned” baby deer.

Spooky, an alleged dog.  

Joey the parakeet whose tricks were  1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats

A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice.  Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.

Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.

Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens.  They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.

Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”

Cardinal (bird)

Canada Goose (Demon)

Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”

The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.

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leader of a trio of college kids waking past me at walmart: okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is.

his friend: wait, what was mission number one?

leader: fucking getting here, travis.

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bionicle breasts expansion stop motion animation…

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did I lose my mind or is this the peak of homoeroticism

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happy semi-canonical birthday dr house. i made macadamia nut pancakes in your honor

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sorry if this reads as a confession but i feel the need to say i am from the balkans and have no ties to massachusetts but i did spend my entire childhood OBSESSED with it and boston especially. because when i was very little i watched a yankees vs red sox game with my dad and the red sox were losing by a lot so i decided to root for them with no prior knowledge of anything related to them. and the red sox ended up winning that game AND i think the world series (it would seem the year was 2004) which i interpreted as my doing entirely. and from that moment on i passionately hated the yankees and loved the red sox and begged my mom to buy me anything with the word "boston" on it (i still have and wear a knockoff boston college hoodie from a local shop from like 2010). im normal now but new york yankees hats are now very popular here (for no reason!! the only people who know baseball are the 100 or so people in this country who play it!) and i still feel a pang of irritation whenever i see them. anyway thanks for this blog it takes me back to my massachusetts obsessed childhood 👍 go red sox etc

Official Confession of Massachusetts

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thinking of cock at this difficult time 💔

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sometimes spock is like "this is logical" and sometimes spock is like "this is not logical" and sometimes spock is like "i have a responsibility to this ship, to that man on the bridge. i am what i am, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them" and sometimes spock is like "this poetry sucks"

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