tonights-sunshine

[tonights-sunshine]

The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

[tonights-sunshine]

The altered timeline of my life has a lot to do with when people *find out* rather than when it *happened*. Sometimes it’s weeks or months later, from a “source” against my desire. Sometimes it’s a year or a few, in a song that will get decoded or I will explain. I’ve retreated into privacy for my own peace of mind, but the strange side effect is the public parallel timeline happening by my side. The animated corpse of past-me (dressed as present-me) doing and feeling and saying things quite some time after I’ve already lived them. I’m on a leash and they’re interpretive dancing through an adapted-for-TV version of it all. Weird. Not bad. Not good, really. Just…weird?

[tonights-sunshine]

[tonights-sunshine]

Blessed Monday witchess

[tonights-sunshine]

when it rains it pours,

but how big must a puddle grow

before it is considered a pond?

when does a pond become a lake?

i’m drowning,

but i insist that i’m dry.

insist i couldn’t die.

now every single day is overtime.

is extra credit.

is derealized.

i’m drowning but i

wring my clothes

and promise that i’m dry.

it’s good for the flowers, they say.

that’s very good.

you’ll need them soon.

[tonights-sunshine]

i wake up thirsty and i think of palestine. i go to the doctor’s office and i think of palestine. a sign in the corner of the waiting room says ‘this is a place of healing, disruptive behavior will not be tolerated’ and i think of palestine. they probably weren’t thinking of bombs and snipers and mass graves in parking lots. i call my parents and i think of palestine. i drive to the grocery store and i think of palestine. i look at the clear blue sky and i think of palestine. i put the dishes away and i think of palestine. i feed my cat and i think of palestine. i listen to music and i think of palestine. i read poetry and i think of palestine. i text my friends and i think of palestine. i think of palestine and i think of palestine and i think of palestine

[tonights-sunshine]

Happy New Lesbian Year!!

[tonights-sunshine]

«Te extraño»

creo que se volvió mi palabra favorita desde el día en que te fuiste, porque cada que hablo de ti la digo

te volviste mi cuento favorito, la historia que cuento cada que conozco a alguien

te volviste la razón por la que siempre me preguntan “estás bien?” porque saben que después de ti es imposible no quedar hecho pedazos

te volviste mi sueño favorito y la pesadilla que más odiaba

te volviste mi sonrisa a las 12:00 de la noche cuando imagino que todo vuelve a lo que era antes contigo

y te volviste mis lagrimas a las 3:00 de la mañana cuando recuerdo que ya no estás

te volviste mi insomnio

mi más bello recuerdo

y mi más grande dolor

te volviste eterno en mi mente porque en mi vida fuiste fugaz

y que maldito desastre eras, y que tonta yo por enamorarme de ti

[tonights-sunshine]

THE CREATOR OF ANNOYING ORANGE IS TRANSGENDER

[tonights-sunshine]

[tonights-sunshine]

[tonights-sunshine]

[tonights-sunshine]

frankies bikinies valentine’s edit shot by naicha mercier

[tonights-sunshine]

Dakota Johnson and Mia Goth behind the scenes of SUSPIRIA (2018).

[tonights-sunshine]

Heavy Rain by radshoe [ANIM]

[tonights-sunshine]

[tonights-sunshine]