trombonecock

[trombonecock]

You ever see something that makes you go "you know, that's right! Someone should write a book that's like this famous book series, just from the other side, to make a point about how terrible the viewpoint characters are in that series!"

And then you realize you're already writing it and have been for two years?

[trombonecock]

it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??

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best description of morgan spurlock's legacy ever

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when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began

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having a king bed sounds scary what if you try to put the fitted sheet on and get lost in there and die like a caver

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kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

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Death penalty should apply to scam callers I think

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fucking stupid

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can i get a transcript on this fucking video

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confession

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[trombonecock]

speaking of the scary ocean, in the Salish Sea we have bioluminescence in the summer. It’s not like in movies where the whole sea glows. The microorganisms which cause it only glow when they’re disturbed. On a warm, still night the sea is black until you stick your hand in and shake it around, then it lights up blue.

anyway my friends and I dive at night and it’s really cool to watch someone from above because they look like a celestial being in the water, glowing blue underwater.

what is deeply UNNERVING is when a Very Large creature passes you at some distance, and you know because you see a blue, glowing mass go by and you think well, that’s just not my business.

[trombonecock]

cats are carnivores but i think inaa should put a leash on me anyway

drew this on my phone just for you