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so many queer ppl will be like "deviating from social norms is part of who we are" and then gleefully participate in fatphobia/diet culture and nearly make being skinny an entire ideology and identity

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so many queer ppl will be like "deviating from social norms is part of who we are" and then gleefully participate in fatphobia/diet culture and nearly make being skinny an entire ideology and identity

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so many queer ppl will be like "deviating from social norms is part of who we are" and then gleefully participate in fatphobia/diet culture and nearly make being skinny an entire ideology and identity

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my ability to be scared despite literally nothing happening knows no bounds

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ok i have a plan (gets distracted) (gets distracted) (gets distracted) (gets distracted) (get distracted) (gets d

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I know it's not the worst thing about capitalism. But I do think there's something really *bad* about the fact that between lack of leisure time, lack of disposable income, and "hustle culture" mindset that for many, many, many people the primary/only way they are able to express their creativity and artistic aesthetics is through consumer culture. Buying stuff and displaying that stuff.

When like...making stuff. Drawing, painting, weaving, crafting, sketching is like, baked deep deep into our bones as humans.

But I know so many adults who haven't like...drawn a picture since they were children.

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Bothering the beast

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its time to bang out the tunes in honor of neil

#neil banging out the tunes

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this whole thing seems pretty simple right. some people find inquiries into their gender by their trans friends helpful and vital, some find them invasive and stifling. it varies from person to person and the only actual answer is to use your own judgement about it and not be a dick if someone says they don't like it. the only reason people are out here arguing over whether it's the Eighth Deadly Sin or not instead of accepting that obvious conclusion is because people hate trans women

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love letters

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ngl sometimes the sentiment of "don't ever say anything that might suggest someone may be trans ever" on tumblr being as pervasive as it is feels less like a "i'm trying to be respectful of how you identify/not trying to pry into something you may not be comfortable with" thing and more adjacent to the "trans-as-social-contagion" line that transphobes have.

i didn't feel like i was able to id as anything but cis woman until one of my transfem nb lesbian friends took the time to ask me how i felt about my relationship to gender after watching me post quite a bit in the vent channels on a discord server we were both on. she told me that a lot of the feelings i was having about my relationship to gender and sexuality were things she had also felt before when figuring her own relationship to it out (albeit her journey was different because she also has to navigate transmisogyny), that i shouldn't be afraid to explore the possibility of being nonbinary and even just using "lesbian" as a means to describe my relationship to gender if that felt right, and that i wouldn't be stepping on anyone's toes in doing so.

and that conversation was like a sigh of relief to me after having held my breath for years and being afraid of putting an actual name to how i felt about myself. tbh, if she hadn't reached out, i'd probably still be here telling myself that i'm a cis woman despite how much the concept made me want to crawl out of my skin and made me feel like i was having to smother a part of myself in the process. and i do not think that this is a completely unique experience.

while there's always a line that can be crossed when it comes to just about any personal topic and ultimately that gender identity is journey of self-discovery, the idea that even mildly and compassionately suggesting that someone might benefit from exploring options with their gender identity during a heart-to-heart is somehow inherently disrespectful, or god forbid, predatory (especially when it comes to transfems) is something a lot of people need to unpack.

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you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

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When kids are trying to explain a problem they are having to you, you need to ask questions. Kids often don't have the words that they need to explain what is going on. So, they substitute in words that they do know that are as close as possible. If you take what they say at face value, you can sometimes entirely miss the actual problem.

A recent example is a kid, ten years old, I know who kept saying that their problem is that they "get bored" when reading. I've been helping by recommending books and other material relevant to their interests to their parents, but it didn't seem to work. So, I came over, sat down with the kid, and asked them to read as much of a short story as they could before they got bored.

They could read about sixty or so words before they were unable to focus on the text any longer.

According to them, this has been a problem since they were seven. But because "boredom" was the only word they had for it, they received attempts to get them more engaging texts. That's a great strategy for most book-shy kids, but not when it's looking far more like an undiagnosed disability. This kid has amazingly supportive parents who are now looking to get them more expertly evaluated, but because they didn't have the language to explain how bad the problem was, it flew under the radar for three years.

Ask kids clarifying questions when they're having trouble, especially when the problem you think they are telling you about isn't being solved by solutions that would normally work. You might figure out why those solutions aren't working.

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Lunar halo

@picabuzz