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Gender Issues Facing Women in Tanzania

Tanzania's gender gap is huge. In the village, woman are the ones doing most, if not close to all of the cooking, cleaning, and carrying water. Little girls can often be found doing house chores while their brothers play outside, free of any responsibilities.  Many men view their jobs as exclusively on the farm, work which accounts for only about half of the year. When men aren't in the fields, you can find them in bombas (village bar), playing bao (Tanzania mancala), or just chillin. Domestic violence is everywhere, it happens regularly in Tanzanian movies which are shown to the public on busses. Scenes where men are knocking their ill-talking wife or girlfriend are viewed as comedic, people just laugh at it while children watch.

It would be hard to find a female volunteer here who hasn't been touched inappropriately (hata mimi). You cant really let that get to you though because it’s not worth the time or energy. It took me a day to admit to myself that I was groped by a vijana (youth) at my junction. I initially assumed it to be a “slip of the hands” and when it finally hit me the next morning that he had done it on purpose, I wasn't even mad at him. I was pissed off at the group of men who stood there watching and didn't say anything. Didn't stop it, just watched it happen and probably congratulated him afterwards.

Looking back though, I'm not sure what else I could have done differently. I just went with the flow, feeling like it was all a big misunderstanding, and got in my vill Van. If instead I had made a scene and yelled at him, what really would that have accomplished? I'd get some boobs reparation in some sense but even now I look back on it and I don’t let myself feel violated or angry, just extremely annoyed. It happened, and it happens to just about every female volunteer in Tanzania. It happens in crowded markets, crammed transportation services, or usually when you least expect it.

Men here think they are better than woman. Most of them will have no problem telling you this and listing their “facts” and “proofs” on why it’s the ultimate true. This severe gender imbalance is such a toxic environment for women. Men are constantly proposing to me, making suggestive conversation, and asking for my number. They expect women to treat them like gods, because they've been raised to view themselves to be as great as “God”, when in reality most of them are garbage.

There are some gems out there. I am always taken aback when I meet men who can not only do housework here, but actually help with it. So many woman here carry the weight of the household on their shoulders without much help from their male counterparts. Women run around everywhere doing everything while their husbands are either sitting on the couch staring at their phone or “hanging out” in town with their friends. This place reminds me a lot of the show Mad Men; portraying the America when it was perfectly acceptable behavior to spank the secretary. When woman were told to be seen but not heard.

That is why I have hope. I know, I know, America is not perfect but no one can say we haven't improved over time. Tanzania is still so young, almost 60 years old. The women here are so strong, they just need to know it and believe it.  It is only inevitable that one day, some place, women will be treated equal to men.  In order for this to happen though, we need men on our side. Women, stand up for yourself because we deserve better. There are parts of this struggle woman cannot accomplish on their own, we need men to be teaching/checking their peers.  The only way for men to see how many woman these issues have affected is to hear it from the women they know. Most woman have stories, all men have to do is ask, care, and help.

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“Black children have black hearts while white children have white hearts”

A teacher's reasoning for corporal punishment in school. The colonists may have left but the mentality that they projected onto people still remains ingrained in the culture. It was one of the most toxic things I saw and there wasn't a thing I could do or say that would change their minds.

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“Why do black Americans get shot by police?”

The questions people in the developing world had weren't so easy to answer...

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Peace Corps PC Culture

I remember during training we had a specific session to discuss the facts that "Peace Corps Volunteers aren't all white". I looked around and whispered to the close group of volunteers around me that we were mainly a white group.

No one said anything in response to my comment and I felt that they were uncomfortable with me for pointing this out. The PC session continued with how the word mzungu shouldn't be used to describe volunteers because they aren't all white (even though it's literal translation is one who walks in circles - the perfect way to describe a foreigner). Why does the truth bother PC people so much? Numbers don't lie.

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Peace Corps Intention Distribution

20% - Lost souls, not a clue regarding anything/everything

40% - White savior complex

30% - Inherently "Good" people

10% - Modern day explorers

So the real question you need to ask yourself in order to figure out where you end up on this list: Why did you join Peace Corps?

Insider advise - If you think, as an outsider, you are going to "make people's lives better" in the developing world. Please keep that white savior complex of yours away from development work. You will be setting yourself up for complete failure and utter dissappointment.

PC note: you don't have to be white in color in order to embody the white savior complex. It's an inclusive term used due to the history in development work. Don't be racist.

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“2 that I know of but possibly 5″

A motorcycle youth in town's response when I asked him how many children he had. He then went on to say that women from a certain tribe are notorious for lying about the father and asked me if condoms actually prevent HIV... He had been taught in school by previous PCVs. Smh

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“I would rather get HIV than diabetes because at least there's available medicine for HIV”

A Tanzanian Mama on diabetes

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It kills me that Tanzanians think the world of America while most Americans wouldn't even know where Tanzania is on a map

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Peace Corps pet assimulating into America

#Peace Corps pet

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When people were dicks in Tanzania I use to tell them "mungu anakuona" (God sees you right now)

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Final Thoughts on Service

So much happened in the last months of my service. The school had the 4 top personal transferred (the cunt mkuu, both second masters, and the teacher in charge of the food). When I returned in July for the start of the term, they had 2 weeks to prepare their things and start working at another school in Mbeya. It was strange to see, because there was no celebrations. No formal good byes, just personal ones filled with hope to see each other again if god wishes.

I left my site with the intentions of returning some time early next year. First off, I need to personally follow up with this water project if I ever want to know what is going on. As per usual, I have hope and have left the project in some capable hands with funds from the school’s rice farm. Second, I have left so many good people in that part of the world. Friends who have extended 6 months/1-year/unknown. I’m hoping to take advantage of those opportunities by starting my journey in South Africa for NYE and working my way up to Egypt with no time constraints, complete freedom (with some economic limits of coarse, I’m not completely insane).

I am so grateful for the things my service has taught me. For one thing, in the west we use “thank you” almost too much. It loses its meaning when you thank people for something so small. Make your thank you’s genuine by saving them for the real times when you should say it. Second, I’ve stopped being in such a rush. I look at the people here (especially driving) and they are all in such a hurry to get where exactly? Most importantly, Tanzania taught me to not be so attached to money. Money doesn’t equal happiness. Obviously for the basic needs it makes a difference but then after that, it’s all just extra stuff. And we have way to much stuff here in the west. It’s one of the most overwhelming things to see.

The fourth thing that I learned in Tanzania was how to appreciate people TV. People are so weird, especially when you add alcohol. Alcohol seems to make people let out their inner selves in a way. It allows most to lose some of the restricting factors in thier decisions, like fear and future concerns. But by being here and having to deal with all types of people on a daily basis I have mastered the art of not giving a fuck. Something that I have, throughout life, been working on. I am so ready to have fun in mzungu land with this mastered attitude. There are so many things to do here and so many people whom I haven’t seen in way too long. Two years is too long to be away from home. 

And the last, 6th thing, that Tanzania taught me was how important my family is to me. Without them, I don’t know where I would be. I traveled the world and came home to see that I had it the best all along. My mom is the best mahm. I love her so much because she taught me how to love unconditionally. And my dad is the best dahd. I am forever grateful to him for teaching me the gift of laughter. He’s still up to this date, the funniest guy I have ever met and never fails to participate in a prank. Lastly, I love my little sister for giving me the precious gift of learning how to deal with difficult people. Shes lucky I love her as much as I do because she knows how to dish out the worst smelling shit and it has helped me in life when dealing with everyone else’s shit.

I cannot really fully explain how amazing it is to be home. I haven’t lived here since the summer after Freshman year and it’s nice finally being treated (somewhat) like an adult. Its my golden birthday year, think it should be pretty dope. Thanks to any and all who took the time to read this blog. I especially want to thank my Aunt Kathy, who’s messages kept me writing. For any one thinking about Peace Corps or just thinking about life, if you want to send me an email ([email protected]) or give me a call (714-421-1636) please feel so free.

karibu

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Peace Corps People

People are people everywhere, but the people in Peace Corps are pretty unique. Most people have a story or some random knowledge worth listening too. When thinking about coming to Tanzania, making friends was not on my Peace Corps agenda until I showed up at staging in Philly and the hotel bellhop encouraged me to go downstairs where people were drinking and watching the Olympics. I remember quickly deciding, fuck that as the door closed and relished those last moments that I would be by myself. My personal goal in Peace Corps was to test my ability to be alone and man did I fail.

Throughout this process I’ve had no other choice but to realize that my happiness is interconnected to those around me. At the beginning of service, life was easy. People in my village were just happy to have me in their homes. Those with very little gave me what they had without a second thought, and the best people I met were those who didn’t want/expect anything in return. I saw that it’s not the cost of a gift that matters, but the meaning and story behind it that lasts.

Stuff will never bring happiness for very long. Things break, get lost, and even stolen. Thats why people are the most important. The people whom listen without judging, advise without being a dick, and ask the questions that they want answers too, are the ones worth dealing with. When you have good people in your life, you can never be alone.

And that’s the biggest fear for most people, a future alone. I now see more than ever how important it is to have good people in your life. Good people try to listen just as must as they talk and learn just as much as they teach. Life is all about balance. When you’re too much of one thing, you’re usually losing out on something. Surrounding yourself with people who you can be yourself and not give a fuck is a key to happiness and I feel so lucky (hashtag blessed) to have met these people through Peace Corps.

Because Peace Corps people are fucking weird.

I’ve found so much love in the people that I surrounded myself with here. Each adventure and each memory can never be forgotten because some people are unforgettable. They help and teach you without even trying. Just by being there and ready to have fun is usually enough for a Peace Corps friendship. Time is a bitch though because we all have different timelines here; it keeps moving and sometimes just doesn’t align right. There were so many people who I met and instantly got along with only to never see them again. Peoples lives keep growing and changing with or without you as I’m about to walk into after 2 years of not being home.

I don’t know how I’ve been so lucky my whole life to find amazingly beautiful people. I can walk away from this experience and not think that there’s no one else out there worth knowing. I came here with no expectations and walked away with people that I’ll know for a lot longer than just Peace Corps. Because people who are meant to be in your life will be there. Social media and technology has made it easier than ever to keep up with friends. Time never stops moving forward and there will always be a revolving door of people wherever you go.

The Peace Corps revolving door was pretty special, the type of people who sign up to do this kind of work have to be at least a little crazy (some are full crazy). It’s a door that I am going to miss but truth be told; I’m exhausted and its my time to leave. I don’t know how I would have survived my Peace Corps service without the people that I met here. Just being there for someone is enough and on my darkest days I always seemed to have at least one person who I could talk too. I am so thankful to those that listened to all of my craziness and laughed at it with me while contributing their own crazy.

People just want to be free to be themselves but most of us don’t even know who we are. We sometimes let these outside forces dictate our interests and life instead of exploring things on our own. Surrounding yourself with people who encourage you to be your true self is how you win at life. Those are the kind of friends that I’ve been fortunate to find through out my life and the Peace Corps experience was no exception. I have so much love and joy in my heart for the people and memories that I’m leaving behind; they can’t be lost, broken, or stolen but they can be forgotten, fade, or even disappear. I can’t wait to see where life takes us all and I know and trust the universe when I say “tutaonana siku nyingini mungu akipenda” (we will see each other another day if god wishes).

I love you.

[tzpeace]

Over hear a man on the bus explain to his neighbor how I'm not a mzungu because I don't appear to be in any hurry

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Mzungu

When coming to Tanzania, I was under the naive assumption that somehow this experience could shed light on how it feels to be a black minority in America. Looking back now I can only shake my head at how ignorant of an idea that even was. My experience as a white volunteer in Tanzania has very little correlation to the issues facing Black Americans. Throughout this beautiful experience though, I have been fortunate enough to be exposed to a few people who came from that world, and I’ve heard some crazy stories.

Peace Corps exposes you not only to a new culture but to a group of Americans that you would have otherwise gone through life not knowing. Its a beautiful (mostly white) mixing pot of people from all over America. At times it feels like an extension of high school, not every one gets along, people love talking about other people, and most of us are pretty weird human beings. We all have at least one thing in common that has brought us together, the call for service with Peace Corps.

The Swahili term “mzungu” directly translates to “one whom walks in circles” (pretty accurate name for most white people in Afrika). It is generally reserved for white people but Tanzanians have been known to use it as a term that encompasses more than just someones’ color. Its a term used to encapsulate the type of foreigner that comes here and doesn’t listen, doesn’t understand the culture and way of life. Throughout Tanzanian history, they’ve had various groups of different white people come through; exploit their resources, drive their nice cars, live in their big houses, and then when they’re done, leave. 

It was a new thing being called out so blatantly for my skin color (unless being called a “california roll vanilla ice cream loving white girl” in high school counts). My defense for this word is to tell people that I couldn’t be a mzungu because a mzungu doesn’t know Swahili. This doesn’t stop people from calling it out most places I go, but it usually gets a good laugh. Most Tanzanians will use the term in order to get your attention, with kids you can even hear the excitement and joy in their voices, hoping for some free candy or other shit (classic mzungu move). With others, its pretty clear how they feel about the white chick in their country, and I get it.

They don’t know me. Those with hate in their voices have already formed an idea of who I am. With some people, I’ll get the opportunity to sit and talk with them. With others (especially those who don’t like listening), there’s not much I can do. Now I’ve reached a point in my service where most people in my life laugh while telling me that I couldn’t possibly be a mzungu,  I’m a “mbongo” (a person of the Bongo Flavor culture).

It makes me so happy to have Tanzanians acknowledge my effort to learn their language and embrace their culture, it was/is work. The language barrier continues to be a struggle to reach people on the same level as I can with English, but people here (and I think this is true for people almost every where) just want to be heard and most importantly understood. To feel/know some one isn’t listening to you is one of the most frustrating things in life. Its so hard though because we are all so different and sometimes we just can’t listen (*cough* Tump supporter). Some Tanzanians refuse to listen to me because before I even open my mouth they are convinced that I couldn’t possibly speak or understand their language based on my skin color. Some people are just bad listeners.

So some volunteers here have problems with the word mzungu, for some it makes them uncomfortable while others it can cause emotional distress. In the end, words only have the power which we give them but that still doesn’t take away from the power they can have over others. For my experience, I’ve found the intention of the word mzungu to be crucial to my response and how it makes me feel.

My personal coping mechanism has been to take the word back and give it my own meaning(sound familiar?). Its a term I would use to describe most westerners. Those with a closed off minds, those whom think their idea is the only right one, and that all others should feel the way they do. The problem with this approach is that when you try to make every one listen to you, it doesn’t leave much time for listening yourself. We all have stories and different experiences which in turn shape and change us. The best we can all do is try to listen and learn from each other as equals and maybe some day, some form of progress will be made. Tupo pamoja (We are together).  

#mzungu

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When you find a dead snake in your courtyard and you just wonder how long it's been there

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-Rule of 6 -Also some people are the worst photographers -yes that's a bubble gun in my hand