unavailableflower

[unavailableflower]

"بعض الأشياء لا تجريب لأنك تستحق الأفضل."

"Some things don't work out because you deserve better."

[unavailableflower]

Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980

[unavailableflower]

— Elena Ferrante, from “The Days of Abandonment.”

[unavailableflower]

[unavailableflower]

jenny zhang, in an interview with thora siemsen

[unavailableflower]

December, oh you’ve done it again.

All year long, I built my walls, high & sturdy 

I built the walls out of; Cement, rage, tear, and bricks, of course. 

My body feels chilled as my heart melts, this time of the year is a darkhorse 

But Dear December, why do you hate me so much?

that you want me to be loved.

I feel the precious feeling in this world.

I take a look at his sunburnt eyes and go for a dive

Swim deeper in tranquillity, I know my way around here.

I longed to stargaze, there aren't a lot of stars in the city

So I stare at the sky, doe-eyed, as he stares at me

He gave me a piece of his heart to wear on my heartbeat

Please, don't smile like an idiot, we must remain discreet

But everything I write about gets jinxed

Art’s my first love, love demands sacrifices

Beloved Apollo, take this as an offering

Make my words of love eternal

This December shall pass, but I'll never forget it.

[unavailableflower]

1121 | If I Can´t Have Love, I Want Power (2021) Trouble | Room 93 (2014)

[unavailableflower]

“I am not filled with any desire to speak. I don’t wake up, excited to share my world - I wake up, looking for a place to hide.”

— tumblr  -  Helaena C Moon  /  instagram  -  helaena.c.moon  (via hapless-hollow)

[unavailableflower]

this whole "job thing" is rlly starting to get in my way. i need to watch made up people falling in love on tv, and then i need to read more extensively about it online. why is that so hard to understand

[unavailableflower]

In The End

I am going to hurt you.

You are going to hurt me.

But we will do it with practiced fingers

and passionate mouths

and I swear to God

it will be worth something.

- Trista Mateer // Honeybee

[unavailableflower]

It's a classic sunset.

I'm reading a book,

I mean, I'm at least using it to keep my eyes diligent.

I half-eye at the trees and the sun peaking through.

Kids clamor in the fade,

Fucking brats.

I've fallen in love too many times in this lifetime.

Chuckle together when we didn't have a dime.

I waited for hours to ring you from the landline.

Too many people I've given pieces of myself to

Dumbfounded how many of them didn't even exist.

I've walked on streets of cities I've never been to.

Overanazled your luminescent turquoise eyes, just to forget your face.

The sunsets as the night sky rules, questions seem to be my enemies,

Wide awake wondering how the pieces of me are.

Are they still with you? kidnapped in some old box.

Maybe I'm empty because fragments of me are with people I'll never see again?

I'll love you, all, forever in my memories.

[unavailableflower]

“I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain.”

— Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

[unavailableflower]

A reminder to remember: just because the sharpness of the sadness has faded does not mean that it was not, once, terrible. It means only that time and space, creatures of infinite girth and tenderness, have stepped between the two of you, and they are keeping you safe as they were once unable to.

Carmen Maria Machado, from In the Dream House: A Memoir

[unavailableflower]

— Ernest Hemingway, from The Complete Works; "The Old Man and the Sea,"

[unavailableflower]

I take the same route every day, the same one I did while we were together, I haven't left the city, never will, fully.

You don't cross my mind as much as I thought you would, doesn't even hurt.

But an undying fear eats me alive every day, What if we cross paths and you see me?

would you talk? or would you just look past me as if I were a ghost? but that one question that fucks me up every time is the thought that Would you even recognize me ??.

Would I recognize myself?.

no, I wouldn't.

I changed, I really did, the way you feared, the way I admired.

All rage, hurt, and suffering but is it even for me? I don't feel bad anymore because I'm not the girl you fell in love with, never will be. although I sincerely will miss her.

So if we ever cross paths, you wouldn't see her.

[unavailableflower]

“Look at yourself as a color. You may not be everybody’s favorite color but believe me, one day you will meet someone who needs you to complete this picture.”

— Unknown

[unavailableflower]

Cliché

Ok, maybe I want that stupid crazy kind of love

That obnoxious sickening butterfly stuff

Those longing painful needing looks

I’m craving nonsense found in books

Chilling whispers, subtle touch

I’ve been reading far too much..