virathis

[virathis]

I've fallen too deep now i don't think i know which way is up anymore. everything sucks and everything hurts I'm tired of all of this

i hate my mother but at the same time i know that she's my mother but she fucking emotionally abandoned me when i needed her the most and the past month ( entirety of May) i felt so fucking alone, even with my friends there I just wanted to talk to her but fuck her. fuck her. fuck her i needed her so much I can't stand everything in my head and she fucking abandoned me.

fuck you.

fuck you.

[virathis]

said fidget toy,

okay look it was originally round, yeah? and have those wiggly shits BUT IDK WHY IT DEFLATED LMAOOOO but it's still useful tho so 😌

[virathis]

watchin bodies bodies bodies

watching random movies rn but im scared it's gonna be bad

[virathis]

watching random movies rn but im scared it's gonna be bad

[virathis]

chicken scratch bcos why no

[virathis]

on god.

[virathis]

bitch i forgot to take my fidgets shits imma die

[virathis]

usually I'd go to twitter but biiiiitch the audacity- anw Twitter isn't me-friendly anymore

[virathis]

first time going to dentist alone, who am i gonna fucking ask about my birthday smh it's not like I'd remember anything under the doctor's scrunity!

[virathis]

finals sucks and made me rethink my life choices of living.

it's so long and they prolonged it to 23rd Dec, it originally was supposed to end at 16th.

[virathis]

life update : no im not dead ( jk I'm ded inside)

they didn't win and ugh i felt terrible for being a shitty friend bc of my moping bc it's not technically MY campaign yk but meh we'll all get over it.

this weekend was probably the worst of them all bc there's the annual year-end meeting for the accountability reports from each field in my Javanese Cultural community and they deadass had us all there until 4 am in the morning on the last day. Fucking cunnnnts. but alas I'm still alive.

yeah so I MADE A LITTLE BLURB WHILST ON THE MEETING THO SO IT'S KINDA COOL but i still needta transfer it from the paper to here.

kinda wanna uninstall tumblr but the drafts would be gone too, huft.

[virathis]

and at the end of the days where you've been busy you realize that you're gonna go home to this tiny space of yours to your doggo plushie and also the snake and the lizard after the tiredness of the day and you'll realize that it is enough and it's gonna be enough because you know that they're gonna embrace you and welcome you home and you'll succumb into your tangled pile of blankets and you're gonna think that oh, oh.

and it will be enough.

[virathis]

i gave my blood sweat and tears for this :<

[virathis]

me making ig feeds listening to taylor while screaming and crying and singing you're on your own kid and august and No body no crime bcos that song>>>> And also getaway car.

what is finals?

huuuh?

[virathis]

:<<<

[virathis]

anw kudos for my friend bc he bought me the emergency sandals n socks n all of the foods <3

BITCH I TRIED TO PAY OK BUT HE JUST " Nah nah here-" bitchass-

[virathis]

gaktau cara label perasaan gue tuh gimana. gatau cara prosesnya. gue ngerasa capek kek pagi siang sore malem kalo gue sendirian tuh gaada energi samsek jingan.

gasuka ngerasa kayak gini

aku capek tapi nggatau ngeluh ke sapa karna gabisa jelasin jg jadinya gajelas cok gue capek bgt tapinya. Semua semuasemua kek tai aku sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhh aku sedih aku sedih aku sedih kangen banget tapi gangerti deh kayanya gabakal bisa. Sedih. Sedih. Sedih. Capek.