walkingonmyshoe-blog
VÄLKOMMEN.
Basically my space to rant, a place to contemplate. Not to get you impressed but for me to express. Giving you another perspective how it feels to walk in my shoes. Best viewed in Chrome.
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Lots of thoughts are spinning yet I don't think I deserve to just write them out here when I'm not trying to work things out.
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Funny thing is I choose this username to show people (readers) how it feels like to walk on my shoes. But the thing is... I do not walk for a quite long. I sleep. Nothing is good enough to be shown. Just lame and negative thoughts caged in dreamland.
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One thing I realize from lazying down in this boring Sunday is I got plenty things to catch up.
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Didn't write any thing in quite while and I believe my color-based app arrangement is the one to blame. I don't get to see Tumblr's icon very often as I did before. But this kind of arrangement is fun, though. Just sometimes being a little crap when I forgot some icon color.
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Go slow my mind - everything happens at its own pace. The gardener may water with a hundred pots, but the fruit will only appear in its season.
Kabir (via dharmarainbow)
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How to Self Validate
Self-validation: Respecting yourself, letting yourself feel, think, and want with acceptance – no judgments, second-guessing, or devaluing yourself.
With Mindfulness (about):
Observe, participate, and describe your thoughts and feelings non-judgmentally.
Let judgments pass. Notice but do not hold onto them, let them go.
Observe your thinking without participating or believing it’s true.
Identify and describe your feelings precisely.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions without avoiding them, escaping from them, acting impulsively, or numbing out from them. Try to manage your emotions skillfully.
Honor your own values.
Using Radical Acceptance (about):
Look for legitimacy and understanding within yourself, truthfully and without judgment.
Try to radically accept your feelings, thoughts, or actions as they are.
Respect your own experience with willingness.
Broaden and balance your views on what you are invalidating, putting them in a new context.
Change your response to yourself:
Act like you take yourself seriously.
Acknowledge your normative emotions without judging them.
Identify problematic behavior and try to change it.
Nurture and support yourself or seek support from others.
Show the same compassion for yourself as you would for any human.
Use your wise mind.
Note: Without self-validation, you might criticize yourself, beat yourself up, or feel embarrassment or shame when something happens.You would likely retreat from these emotions and fall into the same self-defeating patterns.
A self-validating pattern after an event might include:
Catching self-invalidation early.
Noticing your emotions and check the facts. Ask “what happened?” or “what would another non-judgmental person feel?’
Watch for more complex emotions like shame, but trust your primary emotions.
Don’t call yourself names like “jerk” or “idiot.”
Identify what you want and respect it.
Identify your vulnerabilities.
Ask yourself if what you’re feeling makes sense or if other people would react similarly.
Actively tell yourself how your emotions, sensations, and wants make sense.
Self-soothe.
Re-engage with your life in the moment as a valid, respected person.
Bottom line: Judging yourself usually leads to shame. If you feel shame, check whether you have violated your values. If you have not, try to stay in your primary emotion. Describe your wants and the situation. Try to allow yourself to just be; notice and describe. If you are still struggling to self-validate, ask yourself how you might treat somebody else and give yourself the same respect.
Further Reading: The Self-Verification Theory | Source: (x) paraphrased by Rachel for Borderline Bravery
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You can't always expect someone to please you if you want to live in reality, not in fantasy. Expect nothing, Self.
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'Aku emang orangnya begini' is the most selfish remark that I hate a lot. You are not human if you think you can't change your habits, traits or even your way of thinking. You lock yourself in your own belief and not trying to fit yourself on the others' boat.
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There is always things to be thankful of
Sebuah obrolan kecil di pojok Starbucks Margo City
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Playing with Foodie plus walking down memory lane. These decoration was plastered one side of my wall last year by my friends' creative hands. That was cute because we actually do make the same for four of us as our birthday are on April and May. By four of us, I mean Artha, Bianca, Mei and me. Artha, Bi and Mei has taken down their things and I just let those thing be. I don't want my wall empty and I don't have any ideas to decorate it with yet so I decide letting those sit there a bit longer. Now that I am 21, I feel like the days are running fast. My early twenty is blasted because I have such a supportive housemates and friends. I wish our friendship last forever. I wish things will be easier for us as the time goes.
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A one fine evening. That day, some friends wore their best outfit, make up and smiles. That day, some friends celebrated the years they spent in whatever their major. That day, they whispered a prayer, 'Cepet nyusul ya,' and somehow blew a magical chills up to my head. That kind of day for me is getting near, at least, if I could finish everything this semester. That kind of day feels sacred that I couldn't even imagine myself in toga. Old memories of how I struggled to enter this college tickles me. That kind of day... I don't know. Putting this here as self motivation.
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BANKS
BANKS' songs have this magical vibe that could lift up my mood in certain condition. Kind of sacred that they don't always work that way but that timing actually surprised me many times. I don't even need to relate to each song's lyric to let my emotions drown in. They just creep in my soul and suddenly I feel awaken; could means being super emotional, energized, happy or even motivated to do something. Some people find it weird for someone so random-coated-with-'tough'-kinda-appearance loving these songs. Plus, BANKS always performs in sexy way, so as her music videos. Maybe it was because these songs are poems BANKS wrote herself at certain condition so it actually touches my inner self more. Check her songs out.
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