willheis

[willheis]

ok girlies we are at a sleepover. we know how many crush confessions you’ve given and received. now tell us how many people you’ve kissed

#5 #i married my high school sweetheart

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spider pronouns it/ze/bit/xe

[willheis]

I love when guys r like “it’s not fair! girls get to wear makeup to fake being attractive and we don’t !” cause like..there’s literally nothing stopping u from rocking a contour or covering up ur acne…I have a spare beauty blender u can use

[willheis]

most normal Dan and Phil video

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tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

#light yagami

[willheis]

its crazy growing up and realizing how deranged everyone is and how many problems everyone has. in such mundane ways. your waiter at olive garden believes in q anon. the woman doing your x ray just moved in with a guy she met a week ago. your insurance agent is a hoarder. etc.

[willheis]

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[willheis]

de una forma una mini pimer es como una cinturonga …

[willheis]

canbt stop crying. thats what i woulda did

[willheis]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[willheis]

[willheis]

Twitter users are defending their right to assume Picasso was a renaissance artist. Tiktok users think watching any film made outside the US makes you a snob. “Replace classic lit with YA and fan fiction” discourse is flourishing. I think we’re just living in anti intellectual times.

[willheis]

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

[willheis]

Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

#germans would call it die Frischluft-Klimatauschermaschine

[willheis]

crossfaded on a pastry + a little drinky drink

#chocolate marzipan croissant and flat white my beloved

[willheis]

[willheis]