wishingalice

[wishingalice]

Told my boyfriend yesterday that I relapsed because I was scared and in that moment wanted to recover , mentioned how I’m down 10 pounds but I think it was probably all muscle. He told me “yeah I didn’t know you don’t look any different”.

Guess who’s not gonna be recovering anytime soon

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana food diary #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #th1nnsp0 #disordered eating thoughts #ed but not sheeran

[wishingalice]

my toxic trait is isolating myself in order to feel better when all i really need is a hug and someone that tells me it’s gon be alright

[wishingalice]

My OMAD (260 cal)

EDIT: could only bring myself to drink the juice and eat one pickle slice (125 cal)

I’m so hungry and shaky and faint but I cannot bring myself to eat more than a few bites a day if at all.

#ed behaviour tw #tw disordered thoughts #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ana fast #tw ana diary #tw ana shit #anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #ed but not sheeran #hahaha i’m actually dying inside #i want to ⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #i wanna be weightless #i want to be tiny #i want to be weightless #disordered eating thoughts #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #th1n$po #ed meals #tw skipping meals #mealsp0 #mealspø #meal$p0

[wishingalice]

The way i've gone so far down the rabbit hole that i'm sacred of even eating my OMAD. I haven't had over 100 calories in 5 days... inly 4.2 pounds away from GW1

#tw ed rant #tw ana diary #ana trigger #tw ed diet #anorex14 #ed vent #i want to be tiny #i wish i was weightless #i wanna be weightless #ed bullshit #tw ed but not sheeran #tw disordered eating #tw disordered thoughts

[wishingalice]

I love miso soup

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran

[wishingalice]

I’ve been sleeping so much lately, lack of nutrients hitting fr

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #ed behaviour tw #ed but not sheeran #th1n$po #tw ed but not sheeran #i will reach my ugw #i wanna be weightless #i want to be tiny

[wishingalice]

How did I let myself get this bad again

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed bullshit #ed but not sheeran #tw restriction #4norexi4

[wishingalice]

wanted to binge so bad today, so i made some tea and I went on a walk, found a spot to read and enjoyed the last little but of warm sun I will feel for the year. It felt like some good self care time and it allowed to quiet time to think and recenter my goals. fast is still going strong :).

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #disordered eating mention #disordered eating thoughts #th!n$piration #i want to ⭐️ve #i wanna be weightless #ed but not sheeran #i feel like i actually really needed this

[wishingalice]

Trying to do my shadow health assignments and all I can think about is how I couldn’t enjoy thanksgiving dinner with my family last night and how I stayed up to 3am to burn the calories

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #i wanna be weightless

[wishingalice]

Decided I’m gonna try and have a Metab day today, because it’s thanksgiving and I want to be able to try and enjoy a meal with my family

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #tw restriction #th1nnsp0 #thin$po #tw ed but not sheeran #i wanna be weightless #ed meals #disordered eating thoughts

[wishingalice]

Two weeks binge free :)

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed behaviour tw #ed but not sheeran

[wishingalice]

My ED Coded boyfriend

I wanna start this off by saying my boyfriend is the sweetest, kindest most supportive person on the planet. He calls me beautiful all the time and he lets me know he loves my body on my really bad image days, but there are some things he says that drive me further into my ED.

Like for example, I was craving a pita pizza all day the other day and I had previously mentioned that i wanted to cut down on my carbs and he said "Well you can have it now and then just avoid carbs for a few days" or ill be looking at something to eat and he will say something like "You can eat that of you want but I know id feel like crab after eating that its too (greasy, sugary, processed, etc)" or tonight im currently 26 hours into a fast for preparation for thanksgiving dinner (Obviously he doesnt know this lol) and I mentioned I was kinda hungry but didnt wanna eat because then id have too much energy to sleep tonight and he deadass said "Just chug some more water to fill the void"

It makes me question if hes just so in love with me and will support me in every decision I make, or if he secretly wants be to be Thinner

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran #ed behaviour tw #tw ana shit #tw disordered eating #tw ana fast #disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating mention #thinspo #thinspiration #th!n$p0 #th11n$po #th1gh g@p #ed br #ed bullshit

[wishingalice]

Where are my people that developed an ED as a need to be in control of their own body at??

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran #hahaha I’m actually dying inside #th1n$po #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #th!n$p0 #notprojustusingthetags #disordered eating thoughts

[wishingalice]

13.4 pounds lost since I relapsed, 9.5 pounds to go until goal weight 1!!!

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran #ed relapse #disordered eating thoughts #tw ana shit

[wishingalice]

Currently 36 hours into a fast idk if I wanna break it yet

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #th11n$po #thin$po #ed but not sheeran #⭐️ve #⭐️ving

[wishingalice]

St*rve when you are alone

Eat when you are with people

✨ No one will suspect a thing ✨

[wishingalice]

My caloric intake over the past 10 days

782

586

829

129

332

585

759

715

710

489

I’m disgusted with myself for the 700-800 days.

#anamia #ana mia #tw ed rant #ana food diary #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anorex14 #ed vent #anarex14 #ed but not sheeran #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #tw ana fast