wordofolympus

[wordofolympus]

Paris gives Aphrodite the apple and Helen leaves Menelaus to be with Paris: Agamemnon speaks out

Aphrodite got her way after all! She was seen earlier today wearing the infamous golden apple necklace. “I guess it eventually worked itself out.“ She laughed to the press. Makeup with TheBeautyGoddess: 2022’s hottest trends

If that news isn’t entertaining enough, don’t be disappointed. Helen of Troy, Model and heir to Sparta Co. has separated from her husband Menelaus for Paris! Although no legal action has been taken yet, the new couple smiled for a photo from the paparazzi together just last weekend.

Here’s where our story really gets wild, readers: Although Menelaus refuses to speak to press, his older brother Agamemnon went rogue, delivering a 17 tweet long twitter rant just this morning. He accused Helen of “betraying a man who has been the perfect husband,“ and being “genuinely cruel and selfish,” finishing his tirade by saying that, “Anyone who really cared about [Menelaus] and Helen would know that this is totally unprovoked.”

At this moment Menelaus and Sparta Co. are still refusing to comment, but as always, there’s never a shortage in public opinion. People are widely criticizing Helen for leaving Menelaus so abruptly, but her fans are coming out in droves to defend her. Our sources say some of the largest forums in Greece are considering banning the topic entirely!

Readers, you can say what you like about Olympus, but it’s never boring here! What’s your take on the situation?

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Disaster erupts at Peleus and Thetis’s wedding

You heard it here first, readers. Who could’ve guessed?

At first, it seemed like nothing could go wrong. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. Thetis walked down the aisle with her Olympic teammates Amatheia, Eudora, Galene, Kalypso and Klymene. There wasn’t a dry eye in the Parthenon when they made their vows, and you could hear the cheering across the Acropolis.

It was at the reception that things went off the rails. A little more than half an hour into the festivities, our sources report a small package, tied off with a golden string, arrived at the Parthenon. Assuming a guest’s gift had been delayed in the mail, an employee simply placed it on the gift table.

It was just as this happened that the bride and groom’s guest were cajoling them to open some of the gifts for the crowd. Maybe if Peleus hadn’t chosen that little package, the day would have been a solely happy affair. Maybe it was destiny. But either way, when he had peeled the wrapping paper and opened the jewelry box, his smile faded. Because not only was the gift not addressed to Thetis and Peleus, but on the back of the golden apple pendant inside, someone had inscribed “To the fairest.”

It was a shame that he read the phrase aloud, because the second he did so, three of his most honoured guests unfolded their hands to receive the gift.

As Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite turned to look at each other, the silence in the hall was deafening.

Thinking quickly, Thetis asked Zeus to appoint the necklace to whoever he thought was the most beautiful woman. But there was no easy answer. As a supermodel, Aphrodite is widely acknowledged to be the most beautiful woman on earth, but Zeus couldn’t outright disrespect Hera, his wife, or Athena, his daughter, who had generously let her venue the Parthenon be used for the wedding.

So the choice was passed on to Paris, a university student studying law to join his father’s business, Zeus’s preferred law firm.

But as always on Olympus, no one is playing by the rules. Our sources tell us that in exchange for the apple, Hera promised to put in a good word for him with her connections, some of whom could make or break a young lawyer. Athena, dean of Olympus University, promised him the best tutors and after hours access to the Univeristy library, And Aphrodite offered to talk to upcoming model and her protege, Helen of Troy, for him.

As always, readers, stay tuned for more

[wordofolympus]

Peleus to marry competitive swimmer Thetis at the Parthenon

We here at Word of Olympus are happy to report Olympus’s cutest couple are tying the knot at Athena’s venue.

Our sources can also share that the happy pair will spare no expense for the event, reporting that Peleus had the rings designed by Hephaestus himself. Thetis, who dedicated readers will remember brought home the gold for Greece at the 2020 Olympics, gushed about it to one of our reporters. “Of course the Arbios family has been so generous.” She is, of course, referring to Zeus’s clan,  famous across Greece and the world for producing titans of industry, and whose company, Olympus Industries, is a major client of Thessaly incorporated, which Peleus took control of last fall.

Thetis’s Wedding Workout Routine: How is the athlete planning to stay in shape for the big day?

Thetis goes on with pride. “We’re so happy to have them attend. I know nothing is ever perfect, but if anything can get close, I want it to be this day.” She smiles, the picture of a happy bride.

“Speaking of your guest list,” Our reporter begins, “Are you planning on inviting Eris? I know she’s a little... high maintenance.”

Thetis’s smile fades entirely, and she presses her lips together in a hard line. It’s a stark contrast from the beautiful young woman she was moments before.  But who could blame her? Eris is notorious for her penchant for drama. From starting fights between former power couple Aedon and Polytekhnos to encouraging Typhon’s attempted hostile takeover of Olympus Industries, which Zeus runs, Word of Olympus readers have learned to love and hate Eris in equal measures.  “No comment.” Thetis says, regaining her composure. The interview continues, but the atmosphere has shifted, and soon she makes her apologies and leaves.  Readers, stay tuned, because if we know anything about Eris, it’s that she would never take this lying down. 

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