wortsandall

[wortsandall]

A MASTERLIST OF THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY TO EXPLAIN WHY BRUCE WAYNE BEING ABUSIVE IS OUT OF CHARACTER: MADE BY A PARENTAL ABUSE SURVIVOR.

“why would he adopt a child if he didn’t want to take care of them?” or anything related to adoption. saying that implies adoptive parents cannot be abusive, which is wrong on so many levels and invalidates real life abuse victims whose abusers were adoptive. a study once showed 18% of russian adopted children by american parents were murdered, and an even bigger number had been abused. there is also a case in which three children were abused in prestbury, cheshire by their adoptive parents. these cases and statistics, as well as many more, are all just one google search away. not to mention, bruce didn’t want children, he wanted sidekicks. there's a difference.

“he’s a loving father sometimes!” or anything related to him loving his children. i have talked about this before, most abusers do not know they are abusive. sometimes it’s all they know, after all abuse was (and still is) horribly normalized back in the day, so they may be somewhat normal parents 99% of the time even – but that 1% matters, it is traumatizing and scarring. especially for a child. it is also an abuse strategy, the one to be affectionate and loving just so the person stays for that reason, because the abuse is “worth” the good moments in their mind… and for already traumatized children longing for a parental figure? they’re very easy targets.

“he hates abusers!” or anything related to him having said he would never be an abuser or that he does not support abusers. as previously said, most abusers do not know they are abusive. that is especially valid for psychological or emotional abusers, but it may also go for physical abusers – because “if i hit my child just a few times, it’s not abuse” or “it’s discipline”. again, it may be how they were raised, and to them it is completely normal. but murdering a child or sending them to school crying and covered in bruises – that’s the more widely recognized as unacceptable type of abuse, which is the kind the oblivious abusers tend to be against. and they will excuse their actions because “this is not abuse, you are lucky you’re not being abused like those children”. and honestly if you think someone saying they wouldn’t do something is proof they wouldn’t actually do it, you must be very naive.

“when x happened, they were adults!” or anything implying adults cannot be abused by their parents. while parental abuse is different in children and in adults, it is still abuse nonetheless. if your parent hits you (and it isn’t out of self defence – and even then their reaction should be proportional to your offence), they are abusive. end of the story. your age is not a factor in deciding whether or not they are actually abusive. this invalidates all adult parental abuse victims, which are out there. they exist, and they are valid. said abuse can be both physical, as seen in this article, and psychological or emotional, as seen in this other article. usually, parents who were abusive in your childhood will likely keep being abusive even after you become an adult, as seen in this article too.

“it’s because of his trauma!” or anything related to his trauma or mental illness justifying his actions. i cannot stress this enough: trauma & mental illness as explanations, but not excuses. that is especially not the case if, after an episode – say perhaps a rage attack, there is no apology on their part. i suffer from tourette’s (which is not a mental illness, but a neurological disorder – but still) and that, for me, also causes me to get really angry for no reason at times, but if that happens then i will apologize if that ended up affecting anyone else. several abusers were victims of abuse themselves, or they have untreated trauma, or they have a mental illness: that does not mean what they do is right. it still hurts and affects other people, and it isn't right to simply let them off the hook because of their trauma. it isn't and never will be an excuse to traumatize somebody else.

“then why would the kids love and admire him? they aren’t stupid!” or anything related to his children loving & admiring him. first of all, someone admiring or loving their abuser does not make them stupid. secondly, several abuse victims do not know they are victims – similarly to how several abusers do not know they are abusers. this is especially the case in psychological and emotional abuse, but it may also be the case in physical abuse due to the extreme representation of it in the media, as previously explained in the previous points. not only that, but in many abuse strategies, being loving and caring is part of the cycle, and even abuse victims who are aware they are victims may end up believing the abuse is worth the good times, or that since they are usually so nice, then they deserve the abuse the times it does happen.

#mmhmm

[wortsandall]

if ur ever wondering where i am or what im doing just assume im dissociating

#it is what it is #dissociation

[wortsandall]

(New Titans #55)

Bruce isn't a great listener. This exchange is right after he punches Dick in the face (with the gauntlets on) for "daring" (Bruce specifically uses the words "don't you dare blame me") to point out that Bruce was negligent with Jason's safety. Noteworthy is that this is the first discussion the two have about Jason's passing. Bruce told Alfred that he would tell Dick himself. He did not. Dick had to find out by hacking into the bat-computer's database. When he confronts Bruce, Bruce acts like Dick should know already. Calls him out for not attending the funeral of a boy that he did not know was dead. While he was in space.

Bruce invited three people to Jason's funeral: Alfred Pennyworth, Jim Gordon, Barbara Gordon. Five people were present when you add Bruce and the priest. He kept it extremely private because "That's the way it has to remain, if I want to maintain a secret identity" (Batman (1940) #428). Alfred offers to tell Dick. Bruce says no. He says he'll handle it. Again, he does not do this. He told Alfred that he'd handle talking to Dick during the funeral and then asks Dick why he wasn't at the funeral where Bruce openly acknowledged that no one had told him yet. Parental figure who criticizes you for something you didn't have any way to know was happening. How typical.

Seriously. Can't stress enough how little Dick knew about Jason's death. Bruce seems to just expect him to figure it out himself as if it was just another case and he can't be bothered to fill Dick in on it.

#batman critical #idk how ppl can say hes a good dad hes been written as a bad one for far longer

[wortsandall]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

[wortsandall]

anyone else ship things not because you actually want them together but because you want to know how it would affect them as a person for character development (or character undevelopment)

thats why i read a lot of "problematic" content not because i enjoy them as a couple but purely for the purpose of breaking a character apart so i can see if they can be put back together. and if those pieces still fit the same way or are they forever changed. and the reaction to that. i love analyzing people's reactions to being put in situations.

its not about romance for me, not really. i think the amount of romantic ships i have can fit on one hand-stucky and kiribaku. i was gonna say harringrove or dabihawks but those one can be in either category i think.

anyway, tldr, im curious if anyone else is like that or if romance aspects is what draws you to a ship and other parts are less important

#fandom questions

[wortsandall]

This isn’t commonly known but one of the rings of hell is actually being in a fandom wherein the popular bloggers have the worst opinions known to man that everyone else parrots

#remembering being put on a block list just for following a batcest blog #i didnt post back then but they sniped me anyway #and i left the site and the fandom for years #part of why i tentively follow and interact now #but i am still a little nervous ngl

[wortsandall]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[wortsandall]

art by @BottlngSunshine

[wortsandall]

Oscar Isaac

Moon Knight Blooper Reel

#moon knight

[wortsandall]

mutuals and followers at large I'm glad you're alive and I hope it gets easier

[wortsandall]

#wow a drm stan in the wild #left containment

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I hit 1000 hits on my ao3 and I didnt even notice !! but thats cool as hell

#ao3 stats #that word count is crazy to me

[wortsandall]

Full sketch is on my twitter! Same username

#jayroy

[wortsandall]

my dad coming in clutch letting me bum a joint off him i havent smoked in months we r gonna be lit tonight

[wortsandall]

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

[wortsandall]

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it

#i thought of the rick and morty post before i saw it on the bottom #lmao

[wortsandall]

No