xueyaang

[xueyaang]

[hey y'all

I don't think I'll be coming back to rp anytime soon. I got a promotion, I changed jobs from the lazy kushy crew life to actually becoming an instructor and the officer in charge of my course. I have to manage students, learn to lead my fellow instructors, and navigate the new space force world as a junior officer.

It's stressful to the point that I've lost 10 pounds in one week.

I'm not closing the blog, but I'm going to be on hiatus. Video games is the thing that relaxes me now.

I hope you all are well]

[xueyaang]

I need some help writing emotions, rage specifically. In my story the main character blindly attacks the person who claims to have killed his romantic partner and his best friend, I want to know how to portray his anger and his pain. I want the reader to feel what he’s feeling.

Portraying Strong Emotions

Portraying emotions effectively, especially strong ones, is all about getting down to the visceral details of that emotion. In other words, getting down to the sensory nitty-gritty.

Emotions have sensory depth, so consider what sensory details would be registering with your character in that moment of emotion:

Sight - How does rage, for example, affect what your character is seeing? How does it affect the way they’re interpreting the things they see? What body language are they picking up from others?

Sound - How does rage affect what your character is hearing? Do they hear their own ragged breaths? Their pulse pounding in their ears? The hiss of the air through their teeth as they heave breaths in and out? Does their rage make the sound around them seem louder? Muffled? Does it sound nonsensical?

Smell - How does rage affect what your character is smelling? Do they smell their own sweat and body odor? Is there a smell related to the moment or what’s happening that is making them angrier? For example, maybe they’re in battle and the smell of gun powder from the enemy’s weapons fills the air. 

Taste - How does rage affect what your character is tasting? Do they taste bile rising in the back of their throat? Do they taste blood from biting their cheeks in fury? Do they taste their own sweat or tears? Do they taste something on the air? Does their anger make the food their eating taste like ash in their mouth?

Touch - How does the rage affect how your character is experiencing touch and textures? Does their skin feel hot to the touch? Can the feel the white hot heat of rage in the air? Does their once soft bed feel hard and lumpy? Does the ground they’re trying to sleep on feel cold and hard? Does another person’s touch feel like sand paper?

Mind - What is your character thinking and feeling as a result of this rage? How does it affect the decisions they’re making and the actions they’re taking?

Expression - How does rage affect your character’s facial expressions and body language? What vibes are they giving off to others? What movements and actions are occurring as a manifestation of this rage, like punching a wall or throwing a chair?

If you can build these sensory details into your emotional portrayals, you can portray strong emotions in a way that will create a visceral feel for the reader. :)

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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

[xueyaang]

[I don't like using mythological references for character names, but I think I like the idea of his ghost being named Arachne, or something from Ovid's Metamorphoses - especially considering the fact that the Traveler created Ghosts and that the ghosts seemed to have a soul or life Before. But I still gotta check out the lore so I can make logical pathways. I'm not as well versed as I'd like to be xD ]

#Destiny AU -population me #but also me: fuck there's rprs in the tags #👀

[xueyaang]

[if we're following a general class system of skills, XY would definitely be a hunter that leans heavily on guile. I think he'd be interested in learning what he can of the darker parts of the solar system, but it would definitely invite more trouble (spoilers, it does). He still hasn't named his ghost - nor have I come up with one. It might be a literary reference, it a historical one. Not sure yet.

There's a lot i haven't decided and there so much more to think about, so this will most definitely be rewritten. With this season coming to an end and a new one coming up (Darkness and Pyramids!) I've been really into Destiny. Not enough to stop writing here, but I think it'll help give me some life again so that I enjoy working XY and LWJ again.]

#also if you need a body for warlock on your fireteam... hmu on pc #I'm at 1015 now finally #and now devoting my time to flesh out my #there's some exotics that i just don't have yet but want to get #xenophage and last word and i need my Warlock to side with the vanguard because he's unable to decide #my hunter however... sign him up for the drifter

[xueyaang]

[me, playing Destiny, thinking that XY spends a while wandering around aimlessly, but eventually gets roped in to a faction after a short crisis. He'll probably change his name since he was dead for a while and now he's got a new life even tho it kinda sucks every now and then. He kinda likes his ghost, who he'll eventually name. And there's this strange Awoken (warlock, he thinks) who he's met a couple of times that eventually takes up property space in his brain. The stranger seems to swirl with Darkness, not in the way the Awoken possess their duality of Light and Dark. Everytime he meets this stranger, he's intrigued and the aura that shrouds him makes his blood hum under this skin.

But he dares not ask. His ghost swirls silently and contemplatively, and he can't tell what it is thinking.]

#plotline isn't necessarily parallel #just vaguely similar character representations #im slowly uncovering the Lore #what a ride

[xueyaang]

Master List: Villains

Illustrating a Villain’s Motivations  Coming Up with an Object Antagonist Wants 15 Non-Tragic/Traumatic Motivations for Villains Three Steps to Strengthening a Weak Villain When Does a Villain Become Irredeemable? Three Steps to Strengthening a Weak Villain Antagonist Too Easily Defeated Defeating a Powerful Villain Writing a Great Villain with a Great Back Story

[xueyaang]

“Fucking finally, time to myself.”

#hey yall I've got 5 days and a work shift left in this place #then I go the fuck home #also #I'm here and around at last #pardon the absence - it's been... a ride

[xueyaang]

I didn`t plan to turn my tumblr into JGY shrine, sorry, but here we go ^^”

Jin Guangyao&Xue Yang // MDZS Ch. 85

(ah these villainous friends)

Tumblr kills quality (as usual), so click on the picture, it looks better

[xueyaang]

[while waiting for last step of The Lie to work so that we can get Feltwinter’s Lie... I know I’m already gonna have to fix things, or at least explain things so that I can fix them. Like, he’s not gonna remember his name on waking, I don’t think. IDK. This is an adventure.]

“So,” Xue Yang began with his eyebrows furrowed as he hunched over a bowl of steaming noodles in broth. “Ghosts find their guardian, right?” His ghost hovered quietly behind him and from the direction of its voice he can tell that it is turned away to watch people as they walk by the food stand. 

“That’s correct.”

“And... you found me? How are you supposed to know when you find the right one?”

“I’d wondered that myself, when I came to be. Ghosts roam when they are alone, fated to search. There is no countdown to that moment. We just... know.” The ghost’s voice was gentle, and even though he’d simply snapped awake after a long time dead - or so the ghost told him when he’d sucked in air - he knew that the voice should come across as maternal. But, the voice of his pearlescent, lilac-colored ghost was difficult to pinpoint. It was neither male or female. 

“Because of the Traveler?” Grabbing noodles with chopsticks, he fumbled a little but managed to draw the soupy noodles into his mouth. He took the ghost’s silence as an affirmative. “That’s so fucking dumb.” 

“It is what it is. Either way, you are here now.”

This was true, he accepted wryly while he slurped noodles noisily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw broth splash over his head. Maybe he got the ghost dirty. Oops.

“Do you know how long I was dead for?” Xue Yang remembered the nausea of waking suddenly like he’d just resurfaced from nearly drowning in a warm sea. Suddenly, and cutting off the ghost’s reply, he waved his hands and shook his head. “Never mind, I don’t want to know. Useless information at this point.” 

“You still think I chose wrong.” The change of subject was direct and to-the-point. The ghost made a statement, not asked a question. Xue Yang knew he could appreciate that quality, though it might get boring fast.

“Yeah, from your quick introduction you said that ‘Guardians wield the Light.’ How do I know what I’m doing? What am I even supposed to be doing? I don’t want to be part of any righteous group, I just want to... I dunno. Be.” Lifting the bowl, he drank at the broth, and nearly choked. 

“If you die again...” the ghost began dryly, knowing somehow that Xue Yang could put two-and-two together. 

“Because it was a shitload of fun the first time,” he managed between coughs. “I want to be me. I bet I had a life before I died, but fuck that I guess. What am I supposed to do now?” 

“We will go where all Guardians go - The Vanguard’s Tower. There is much for you to learn, the ones who can teach it are there.”

Xue Yang audibly scoffed as he put the now-empty bowl down. “Great.”

“Your enthusiasm is warming.” 

“I’m gonna find a way to get rid of you so I don’t have to do this garbage.”

“I look forward to your trying. Let’s go.”

[xueyaang]

[Signs I’ve been playing too much of a particular game (Destiny): when I make an AU that is population me and kept alive only through word dumps of varying word length. Short destiny AU drabble under the cut.]

The Light - every Guardian seemed to wrap themselves with the warmth and comfort of their gifted power like a beautiful veil. But to this boy, it was cold and unwelcome and alien. The world he knew had once been him and only him, but now a chilling awareness of everything around him as the world shifted, breathed, and lived distracted him. No... not just the world because that put a limit on the depths of his newfound senses, which seemed sensitive to the confluences of rivers and streams of energy in the Galaxy and beyond as though he were simply a wind vane that spin this way and that in a typhoon. What use would he have with all of this? This was unnatural, but with a great and grimacing effort he managed to shrink down his world back down to just himself. The hum of the universe was simply background noise now, and less distracting than before. 

“The Traveler saw fit to bequeath this power to you,” the strange, floating cuboid attempted to reassure him in a soft but firm voice. The sky blue light at the center of its sphere (like one unblinking eye) bloomed with its voice as it spoke. “Through me, that is. And I have found you. You are the one.” 

Ghosts always reminded him of a childhood game made of paper and decisions and sing-song spelling with the way each of their sections shifted. He wondered, briefly, what would happen if he were to snatch the ghost out of the air and attempt the same game now. Between the legends of the ghosts who selected their Guardians and childhood dalliances, the older boy found he preferred the latter. 

He frowned so deeply that his brows creased and the curls of the corner of his lips bared the whites of his teeth. The definition of a snarl, the ghost thought to himself. Not the reaction I was expecting. But I cannot be wrong.

“Well,” the boy snapped in a challenge as he began to stomp off as though he could escape his very situation simply by leaving, “you picked wrong. I’m not a Guardian. If you knew me at all then you’d have chosen someone else.”

The ghost followed at his shoulder, the light of its single eye unblinking. “The Traveler...” his voice stopped suddenly because he sensed that his new Guardian companion did not place faith lightly. It seemed there was not going to be any discussion about The Traveler. To the ghost, this felt like quietly compartmentalizing an essential part of himself, but if it was necessary then that was what he’d do for now. “I will be frank with you. I chose you. That is all I have to say on that matter for now. You can reject me and attempt to leave me behind, but you will find that I will never be apart from you, nor will I leave you.”

A moment of silence passed - the ghost perceived it as acquiescence. 

“Now,” the ghost continued in a lower tone, “what is your name?” 

The other didn’t answer immediately, but his steps seemed less hurried as he traversed what looked to be a district square. His lips were twisted as he chewed his lips in thought. A moment later, he released his lips from between his teeth and he resignedly answered. “Xue Yang.”

#fuck yeah I love writing when I've been drinking

[xueyaang]

[I did it, I made it through a 12 hour overnight shift. now to stay awake somehow through noon...]

[xueyaang]

xue yang: i have a fun christmas idea, hang mistletoes but instead of kissing you have to fight whoever is under it

a-qing: mistlefoe

xiao xingchen: no

xue yang: soMEONES HALLS ARE GETTING DECKED

xiao xingchen: nO

[xueyaang]

#forbidden snack

[xueyaang]

So I've been having trouble coming up with motivations for villains. Whenever i come up with something i just end up sympathising with their ideas and they just don't feel evil.

Non-Sympathetic Motivations for Villains

1. Financial Greed (they want to be filthy, stinking rich.) 2. Material Greed (they want to own ALL the things.) 3. Power Hungry (they want to be super powerful.) 4. Excessive Ambition (they want it ALL, or to achieve a certain thing.) 5. Desire to Possess Something (could be a person, place, object, skill…) 8. Extreme Hatred (motivated by excessive hate for someone/something.) 9. Envy/Competitiveness (they’re trying to outdo someone else.) 10. Desire to Control (someone or something, just because they want to.)

All you have to do is remove any reasons that could come across as sympathetic or benevolent. Let’s say your villain is a corrupt general who serves as the pharaoh’s top advisor. First he murders the pharaoh’s wife, then a bunch of other advisors and courtiers, then the pharaoh himself, and finally begins to manipulate the new pharaoh (the old pharaoh’s son) to do his bidding and marry his daughter so that she’ll have even more power and maybe even rule herself after he kills the young pharaoh. If your villain is motivated by the belief that his daughter will make a better ruler than the current ruling family, that’s benevolent. It maybe be misguided, but it’s sympathetic. You can understand why someone might go to crazy lengths to make that happen if they truly believe their daughter is the best thing for the greater good. But if that benevolence doesn’t enter into it and your villain is motivated strictly by wanting to consolidate more power for himself and his family, and wanting to rule the kingdom through his daughter, that’s just pure evil. There’s nothing sympathetic there.

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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

[xueyaang]

[lazy blog promo, lazy blog promo, lazy blog promo:

Howdy! Always looking for MDZS blogs to follow and RP’rs to write with. I am:

Bored AF because quarantine sucks, y’all

Independent, casual, semi-selective, 18+ (see About)

Interested mostly in canon ships and canon timelines

Also down for AU’s and verses with any MXTX character! (only read SV and MDZS tho :p)

Shoot me a message if you’re interested! Also take a look at my trash son XY Stay healthy!]

#self promo ftl

[xueyaang]

Oh you got to Yi city arc! Can't wait to see your reaction or hear thoughts!

Oh god I can’t wait for thoughts on xue yang, he is one of my faves and I always love seeing new perspectives (you are I think first person I saw express opinion he was greatly sane beforehand). Also do you know why Xingchen’s body is in such good condition despite aroundd ecade having passed? It is because every single day Xue Yang has been transfering his spiritual energy to corpse to keep it from rotting, keeping it in same condition as living body.

So it’s like this.  Xue Yang is not…I wouldn’t call him a model of mental health, but he’s in complete control of his own actions and has a very clear grasp of consequences, priorities, and motivation.  I would call that pretty definitionally sane, narratively speaking, and no one ever questioned whether or not he was stable, he’s obviously very stable even though he’s also–how should I put this–a complete narcissist whose regard for human life ranks somewhere below his interest in the annual potato crop.  Prior to meeting Xingchen, he’s not raving, he’s not unpredictable, he’s not even particularly cagey about who and what he is.  I think there’s a very good chance that Xingchen is the first person Xue Yang has ever lied to, about exactly who and what he is.  Wen Ruohan was certainly aware of the fact that he was essentially employing a live viper rather than a loyal clan member.

The thing is, though, that Xue Yang is blessed or cursed with his stability, with his inviolable sense of self and his perfectly clear grasp on why he does the things he does, but those things are all predicated on his understanding of innate value.  Fifty lives are worth less than the smallest finger on his hand, because the finger is his and the lives are not.  (Greatest line from him in the show, by the way!  I love a villain!)  

Xiao Xingchen?  Also his.  Xue Yang has never, ever had someone show unconditional kindness to him before, and then this cultivator, this blind man in white, this man that Xue Yang recognizes and did a horrible thing to, takes him in and binds his wounds and doesn’t ask him any questions, and sure, when he’s healing, he has a great excuse for why he doesn’t kill Xingchen.  He needs help, and Xue Yang has never been anything but practical.  And maybe it’s fun, at first, knowing that the honorable Xiao Xingchen trusts him, turns his back on him, leaves him alone with A-Qing.  The greatest joke ever played by Xue Yang.

And sure, now he’s better, has been a couple weeks, but maybe he shouldn’t leave just yet.  The girl is afraid of him, Little Not-Blind, Little Liar, and that’s entertaining.  Xue Yang gets a kick out of watching her pretend not to watch him.  Xue Yang gets a kick out of knowing that righteous Xiao Xingchen still smiles at him.  Xue Yang gets a kick out of knowing that he’s the one getting those smiles, not dour Song Zichen.  It’s fun, and Xue Yang loves to have a good time, and he’s not exactly on the clock to be somewhere, so he’s not staying, he’s just also not leaving.

And sure, now he’s been here half a year, but he doesn’t want to leave, and when has Xue Yang ever done something he didn’t want?  He doesn’t feel like leaving, and that’s nothing special.  It’s boring, out on the road.  Xue Yang is a creature of war in a time of peace and that’s a boring way to live, if you ask him.  And besides.  Besides.  Xiao Xingchen is interesting.  Xingchen listens to him.  When has Xue Yang ever left behind something he wanted?

And sure, now he’s been here a year and a half, but he can’t leave something that’s his, can he?  And he’s tying Xingchen to him one bloody gash, one severed tongue, one slash of Shuanghua at a time.  Just a little longer, and he’ll never be able to leave, because where else will he be able to go?  No one but Xue Yang will love him and that will be okay, because Xue Yang will love him so much that no one else is necessary.  Just a little longer, and Xingchen will understand that they’re the same, that Xue Yang made them the same because he loves Xingchen enough to twist the entire world off-center.  Just a little longer, and when Xue Yang leaves, Xingchen will go with him.

And sure, SURE, now he’s been here three years and the vaunted Song Zichen is bleeding to death and staring at Xingchen with Xingchen’s eyes, but really, Xue Yang is helping.  Song Zichen, Song Lan, didn’t appreciate Xingchen.  He could have taken Xingchen away.  Because Xingchen would have listened, would have heard him out, would have taken the apology to heart and forgiven him, Xue Yang knows this.  Xingchen would have done it because he loves Song Lan more than Xue Yang he is Xingchen.

And sure.  Sure.  Now it’s been a lifetime and a half and Xingchen, Xiao Xingchen, the noble and upright and good Xiao Xingchen, is shouting his hatred and betrayal at Xue Yang.  But it’s going to be okay!  It’s going to be okay, because Xue Yang just has to make Xingchen understand that they’re the same.  That Xue Yang made them the same.  

And Xue Yang brings out Song Zichen, so sure, so confident in the sure-footed killer’s clarity that he’s always been blessed with, and he knows exactly how this will go, he can see the breaking already, the shatter lines, the way that Xingchen will fall to pieces and then cling to him, to Xue Yang, as the last stable thing in the world, and he’s so sure–

And then Xingchen, bright brilliant kind generous good Xingchen, slashes open his own throat rather than be what Xue Yang tricked him into becoming.

And it’s not Xingchen that shatters.

#[yes please more like this]

[xueyaang]

7 years old

#[i will pay blood for catharsis]