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Every day is a waking horse nightmare

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Yoga poses are great as a supplement,

a little treat if you will,

but the meat and potatoes of stretching is reaching your arm over and blacking out, the strings of desire contorting your body like a rolling, writhing, unidentifiable mass of flesh and bones, only awakening when your head is on the floor, legs still on the sofa

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Did you guys know that Ronald McDonald’s car doesn’t start unless he fails a breathalyzer test

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Fuck you

*omegabetizes your books*

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*buzz aldrin talking to the new recruits at nasa* They don't have much room in the spaceship so if you want to go to the moon you have to fight to the death

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mom stop no don't fly into the sun please im begging you

MOM STOP

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Are those faberge tits

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3 months since i posted this it's the wizard of oz isn't it

I’m gonna getcha 

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Oh to be an anime twink boy in a world of miocene-era hell pigs

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The human body contains bwood, phwegm, yewwow biwe awnd bwack biwe. These awe the things thawt make up its constitution awnd cawse its pains awnd heawth. Heawth iws pwimawiwy that state in which these constituwent substances awe in the cowwect pwopowtion tuwu each othew, both in stwength awnd quantity, awnd awe weww mixed. Pain occuws whewn owne of the substances pwesents eithew a deficiency ow an excess, ow iws sepawated in the body awnd nowt mixed with othews.

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If you don't sleep on a slab of concrete every night and eat barbed wire every morning are you really a fan of brutalist architecture?

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Haters

Dang son I'm

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Things to do on Saturdays for a more productive week

Painstakingly sort all the sand in your house into piles based on color and texture. If you don't have sand ready-to-go, I pity you.

That's it

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Pov me being born out of the birth canal of the tin man from alice in wonderland

I’m gonna getcha 

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Do y'all really think penguins exist? Fools. Why do you think the government won't let me touch one

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Tap's my name, eworms is my game

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Ideal outfit:

Ideal outfit: