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Jane Birkin on the set of the movie 'Trop petit mon ami', 1969.

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It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

#1 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

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👌🏽❤️

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i love sociopaths i love narcissists i love low/no empathy havers i love people so mentally scarred it makes them generally mean people who push everyone away i love chronically angry people i love people with horrible intrusive thoughts (yes even yours) i love people who want horrible things to happen to the people who hurt them i love people with pervasive feelings of hate i love people who are uncontrollably agitated and irritable i see you i care about you i want you to get better i think you deserve as many chances as it takes for you to pull through i mean it i really really mean it

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if you can’t eat a whole meal, eat half. you ate, that’s what is important.

if you can’t get out of bed, try and sit up instead of lying down. it’ll be better for your back and your blood pressure.

if you can’t shower or have a bath today, try and brush your teeth and clean your ears. it’ll keep you a little cleaner, and we often forget those areas. 

if you can’t get dressed today, change underwear and use some deoderant. it’ll leave you a little fresher until you have the strength to change fully.

and remember, i’m very proud of you. your best will look different every day, and that’s okay.

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its always "mental health matters" until you start showing symptoms.

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I hate when people use the fact that sometimes people are misdiagnosed as having personality disorders to try to say that personality disorders are Not A Thing™.

Your autism was misdiagnosed as SzPD/BPD/STPD/AVPD/ASPD/OCPD? Cool, doesn't mean that they're aren't people who genuinely have SzPD/BPD/STPD/AVPD/ASPD/OCPD.

You were diagnosed with HPD by a professional who hated you as a way to dismiss you as "just an attention seeker"? Sorry that happened, but that doesn't mean they're aren't people who do have HPD.

You confided in a professional about a stalker/abuser and they diagnosed you with PPD due to medical misogyny? That shouldn't have happened, but that doesn't mean they're aren't geniune cases of PPD.

I'm so sick and tired of people using the fact that sometimes people are misdiagnosed with personality disorders to tell people with PDs that their disorders aren't real, or to claim certain PDs are "rooted in anti-autistic ableism/misogyny/ect", or worse, try to campaign for these disorders to be removed from the DSM/ICD.

I'm sorry you were misdiagnosed, but that doesn't mean these disorders don't exist. Trying to remove personality disorders' awareness, treatment options and place in diagnostic manuals is not going to prevent misdiagnosis, it's just going to make it harder for people with severe mental illness to get help.

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Since autism is stereotyped as having low empathy, many autistics fight against it, but while doing so they discriminate against cluster b autistics/individuals. And it's a shame because due to the constant abuse we face, a lot of us do have cluster b disorders.

Autistics can be narcissistic, antisocial, histrionic, and have bpd.

Autistics can have low empathy.

And the ability to empathize does not equal non-abusive. Abuse is a choice, not a personality disorder. Having empathy doesn't inherently make you better than people without it.

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Nasal breathing tips 💯❤️

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYL7tNAy/

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you know what’s fucked up? this.

the fact that when I search npd, the search results are all about how to avoid people like me, how to recover from people like me, how to hurt people like me.

it makes me feel so unloved. it’s so harmful that i could look up my own disorder and the results aren’t even for me, they’re for people that hate me. what the fuck? makes me want to end it all. there’s, like. not a single space that’s safe for us, not a single space where we’re seen as anything but inherent abusers and people that deserve pain.

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people with bpd don't need to be palatable in order to deserve support. like you don't need to say "actually, we're empathetic, not manipulative" in order to combat bpd stigma.

borderlines with low/no empathy deserve as much support as ones with empathy. borderlines who manipulate deserve as much support as ones who people please. they're both coping mechanisms, and they both can be harmful to oneself and others.

we all deserve to be supported and to find healthy coping skills. health is a human right. it's not conditional on what kind of person you are, or who people think you are.

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Understanding a person with BPD. ( Borderline Personality Disorder )

( mostly focused relationship-wise ) - J.

tw; mentions of s///h and su//c//de.

Let's say you are in a relationship with a person that has BPD, or perhaps they're a close friend, a family member, someone you generally know that you want to work well with. It can be quite challenging when you don't understand the symptoms or how to handle the situations that comes with it — yes, the symptoms will most likely affect the relationship, but it is important to understand that dealing with BPD is not easy either.

Us with BPD have a lot of struggles, let's get that out of the way. There is our fear of abandonment, rejection, judgement, unstable self-image or sense of self, rapid mood changes, impulsive behaviors, persistent feelings of emptiness and numbness, extreme rage, and more. There is a lot to learn and understand about it in order to work well with your partner and have good communication, I hope this small guide helps + my own experiences!

Show you appreciate your loved one. From a source — Someone with BPD may go out of their way to do things for their partner to make them happy because they want to receive love and affirmation in return. ( and from my own personal experiences, we generally have a lot of love to give. ) "If we don't get the recognition we think we deserve, then we'll start to feel like we hate our partners, because they didn't give us that feeling we wanted." ( This is called splitting. ) This can make us feel unappreciated and maybe even feel like our efforts of love was rejected/pushed aside. To avoid an issue like this, it's important to show your loved one that you appreciate them and the things they do. Individuals with BPD often search for honest validation and love, so if you feel it, be open about it.

Be prepared for mixed messages/responses. From a source — An individual with BPD can go from loving and adoring you ( idealization ) to feeling furious and "hating" you ( devaluation ) in a matter of hours to even mere minutes. Even when they do "hate" you, they still carry an overwhelming fear that you will abandon them. When these fears arise, be ready to offer comfort and meaningful reassurance; "I understand that your feelings are overwhelming right now, I understand that you feel afraid that I will leave you. I won't, okay? We will get through this and I am here to support you."

Be responsive. From a source — When an individual with BPD is trying to reach out to you or contact you, it is helpful to be responsive as possible. If their friend or loved one doesn't respond, the individual with BPD can feel rejected and maybe even feel bits of abandonment creeping in, as well as internalizing that as something being "wrong" with them or make them feel that they have done something wrong. This can lead to self-hatred and destructive behavior. It can be difficult for a person with BPD to handle conflict or feelings of rejection/abandonment because they often blame and punish themselves. 75% of people with BPD will turn to s*lf-h*rm*ng. This is not to say it is your fault if they turn to s*lf-h*rm*ng, but staying kind and responsive can make a positive difference.

Understand it is NOT their fault. From a source — BPD is quite known to cause immense stress and strain on a relationship. It can be challenging for a person to manage their symptoms in a way that doesn't affect their partners. So, when symptoms do flare, remember that they do not have control. Literally. This condition is known for it's lack of regulation or control over emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. You wouldn't blame a loved one for having cancer symptoms that might spill into everyday life, so do not blame someone for having a mental illness with active symptoms. Hold your judgement.

It is also extremely important to note, DO NOT MAKE US FEEL DOWNPLAYED. If we are in distress about something, avoid responses such as these;

"You're being dramatic."

"You're overreacting."

"You're acting crazy."

"You're being ridiculous."

"It's not a big deal."

"Why don't you just calm down."

"You're taking things way too seriously."

"I don't understand why you're acting like this."

I can almost promise you that these responses will only make the situation worse, and only fuels the fire. We are upset for a reason, we have our triggers for a reason, respect them. It may seem small and inconvenient to you, but it matters to us very much and that needs to be taken into consideration. Instead, respond positively with patience and support. Understand that we are feeling extremely overwhelmed at the moment and we need reassurance and comfort, not to feel downplayed or discredited. From my own experience, it only makes me feel like I am not being listened to, that my reasoning behind my distress isn't being taken seriously, my triggers aren't being respected, and it provokes my anger.

It is also important to be patient when splitting is occurring, it may seem ridiculous and dramatic to others, but it is a real thing and when we split, it is for a reason. For me personally, I feel extreme anger towards the person I am splitting from. I get unwanted violent thoughts, I want to say cruelest things, but afterwards, I get hit with a wave of depression and immense guilt and shame. We all experience this differently, but always remember it is out of our control and we remain self-aware. Stay understanding and supportive.

And remember, while it can be difficult for the other person to work with an individual with BPD, we are always acknowledging that. We know it isn't easy, but imagine how we feel. Imagine living with a constant whirlwind of worries, constant fears of rejection and abandonment, emotions turned up to the maximum, constantly on edge that we are doing something wrong, and even more. And while there is that, a lot of us have a lot of love to give. A lot of loyalty and devotion, and all we want in return is that acknowledgment, appreciation, and love from our partners. As well as honesty and respect.

( Please note that I am still new to this community and if any information is incorrect in any way, I will change it ) - J.

Closing quote.

"I couldn't trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any, and which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD.

I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations." — Rachel Reiland.

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I see personality disorders more as traits developed from traumatic situations than mental disorders. Especially cluster B personality disorders, which ironically are portrayed as the toxic/abusive ones but behaviors associated with them are directly tied to trauma--especially 'acting out' behavior.

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I hate when people say "It's not you, it's the depression" or "it's not you, it's the mental illness." Okay but it's in my brain which is ME. It sure as hell feels like it's me right now.

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people really love using psychotic disorders as a joke or trope or plot point in fiction, but even other mentally ill people are just fine with stigmatising psychosis. i’ve heard so many stories of psychotic ppl being in psych wards and fellow patients have said "at least i’m not crazy" or "before coming here, i thought all ppl in a psych ward would be weird and insane". of course, they inevitably slip up and say it to someone who they don’t realise has psychosis. when ppl watch tv and laugh at the "crazy", "nonsensical", "strange" character… what they never seem to think about is that someone else in the room might be psychotic and too afraid and upset to speak up. and then there’s all the times where you call someone you don’t like "delusional" or "psychotic" because to *you* it means stupid and evil. to psychotic people it means that their loved ones are scared of them or hate them.

just think before you speak. and no, you probably wouldn’t know whether or not someone has experienced psychosis. so don’t assume.