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Every time I see you with her, I start thinking that maybe it was all in my head. But then I remember how you used to look at me, how you laughed at the little things i said, how you made me fall in love for the first time. And I realize that even if my mind was playing games with me, it was because you gave it a lot of reasons to do so.

istudywithtea, writing prompt #67: write about an almost relationship, which broke your heart (via wnq-writers)

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i need yiu now more than ever you are what fulfills me you have always been

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you dont get it only they get it i just want them i only want them and i didnt know i was capable of feeling this way anymore but i do i still do so strongly im tied to you

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IM NOT CAPABLE OF FEELING ANYTHING ANYMORE WONT SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND FIX ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

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i need fucking help lol but whos here to help me this is too complicated id rather rot

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disgusting im disgusting everything ive morphed into is disgusting ive thrown away everything to be disgusting and now im showcasing it im disgusting i cant be ok if im disgusting she thinks im disgusting he thinks im disgusting its all ill ever circle back to my brains mush and alc and drunk on being easy and barely even there an actual figment

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i always fucking lose you and i don't acknowledge it and im losing myself im losing discourse im losing mind im losing power im losing eloquence im losing art im losing poetry im losing intellect im losing cognition im losing fucking everything i used to hold dear to me and the trade off is vile im mindless superficial paper thin

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brilliance keeps escaping me

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(,: this has been long overdue perhaps

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Don’t be neurotic, please don’t be obsessive

They, with keen eyes and acute minds, they say that love is not all that - not. all. that!

May you hold in your hand what you have manifested in your mind, growing arithmetically, akin to the moss and fungi of a sturdy rock overshadowed by the dawn of your own predicament; like skin to skin cravings, recollection to recollection ebbing, bellyache to bellyache..

Ergo, pleading that every fucking inch of me tainted can poison the wings of an unsolicited and unreciprocated devotion to a sheer illusion

Unlikely, unfathomable

Am I, Is this, akin to the thin sheet of a girl you molded from the foreign ashes, to me

Teach me to speak in the chords of your favorite songs, teach me to speak in the strokes of your favorite paintings, teach me to speak trauma trauma trauma

And I will abide

Unlikely, unheard of

Torn me already to figments of your imagination, this girl is

Unlikely, unknown

To me

-Ovid's Allegory

#im happy ive finally written something (.:

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There’s a difference between parents who want you to be happy, and parents who want you to look happy.

 If your parents want you to be happy, they will be there for you when you need them, and help you with your struggles. They’ll take your pain seriously. They wont make fun of your problems when that hurts you. They’ll point out your good sides. They’ll let you know they hold you valuable and important no matter what the rest of the world says about you. They’ll make sure you know they’re on your side, here to protect and get you out of trouble, that if something happens you have backup, you have a safety to fall back on. They’ll make sure you have a place you belong to, place where you’re welcome and wanted. They’ll be a source of comfort, warmth and support.

If your parents want you to look happy, they’ll demand that you stuff down your emotions and play an act of a child who doesn’t need anything or anyone, who is just fine the way things are, no matter how bad things are for you. They’ll dictate what you’re allowed to think of them and how you’re supposed to react on anything and everything they do. They’ll demand you hide your pain, your symptoms, your anger, your fear, anything that makes them look like less than perfect parents has to go. They’ll let you know that they are important, you aren’t. Their emotions and needs and desires are important, yours aren’t. Their pain has to be paid back, yours has to be ignored and forgotten. Your life falls back on what is and isn’t convenient to them, every part of you is judged only by how much use they can have of it. And of course, they’ll tell you they did it all for your sake, because if they didn’t, who knows how awful you would turn out. 

If they say they want you to be happy, but their actions tell you that you need to look happy “or else”, they’re abusive parents, and they do not care about your happiness.

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Allow me to be a mess for a little longer, allow me to complain and whine for a bit. Don’t tell me it makes me weak, tell me it’s okay, tell me I will heal.

kriti-g (via wnq-writers)

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I feel like a time traveler: June, July, August. Summer dissolves in my mouth and I can’t remember what it tasted like.

Zoë Lianne, Erasure (via blahhblahhhblahhh)

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hes already drawing up habits in me i havent witnessed in a long while

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Because of an innocent misunderstanding you think that you are a human being in the relative world seeking the experience of oneness, but actually you are the One expressing itself as the experience of being a human being.

Adyashanti (via abiding-in-peace)

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the only reason why i have friends is bc i mirror whomever i meet to my best ability so yeah maybe i have no personality

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three weeks