5minuteswithjoni

[5minuteswithjoni]

 Jesus our Wonderful Counsellor

After studying wellbeing and reading Dave Smith’s book on ‘Gods Plan for your Wellbeing’ I have developed a huge interest in this area. I also have been through personal mental health challenges that have completely tested my faith. As a psychologist graduate it’s been helpful for me to look to Jesus as the perfect psychologist. What does this mean to us? In my relationship with him and as I walk the path of healing from mental illness, I can look to him as my ultimate counsellor. Medication and trained professionals are so so helpful and I want to highly recommend specialist help if you need it. However we are mind, body and soul and they are interconnected - I can simultaneously rely on his Spirit present with me in struggles to counsel me, which might incidentally lead me to medication or professional help. God works the whole tapestry together.

Jesus is the True and Best Psychologist

Whilst I completely recommend professional trained therapists and doctors and hold them in high esteem, we can also see Jesus as our ultimate therapist or counsellor. Take psychology for example, which began with Sigmund Freud who invented modern psychotherapy late in the 19th Century. There have been psychologists — doctors of the soul — throughout human history. However, Jesus is also a true psychologist.  He is the ultimate psychologist of psychologists if you like. That is what the Bible meant when it talks about Jesus as our Wonderful Counsellor.

Jesus understands the human soul, or psyche — first as our co-creator with God the Father, second as the incarnate Son of God who experienced being a man and living on this earth, third as the Redeemer who never sinned and conquered sin and death and Satan by rising from the dead, and fourth as the ever-living and present Spirit of Christ with us now.

Imagine the best Christian therapist… Think of the most wise, caring, and helpful pastoral counsellor… Jesus Christ infinitely surpasses these women and men!

We can see the glory of Jesus’ counselling ministry in the Gospels.

Jesus is Available and Approachable

This is the kind of counsellor that Jesus is. Perhaps the best example of this is his ministry to the Samaritan woman at the well and then in her village. (John 4:1-42) Even though he was thirsty, he focused on her deeper thirst. He saw that she was beaten down by her sin and shame and by being abused and rejected and he surprised her by being gracious with her and engaging her in friendly conversation. He had powerful, life-changing insight to share, but he shared it gently so that she could receive it.

Jesus Didn’t Judge the Woman Caught in Adultery

When you’re hurting or struggling the last thing you want is to be judged! Yet, it’s so easy for people with knowledge to judge those who don’t have it.

Everyone in Jesus’ day judged adulterous women. The religious leaders wanted to stone her to death and threw her to the ground at Jesus’ feet. He put his body between them and her to shelter her. He got down on his knees in the dirt where she was. He confronted their mean-spirited arrogance and hypocrisy and they left her alone. Then he stood back up and said to her, “Look, your accusers are gone. I don’t condemn you. You’re free to go now and to leave behind your life of sin.” (John 8:10-11, paraphrased)

Jesus Wept (Jesus Empathises)

Good therapists don’t just give sympathy — they give empathy. The shortest Bible verse says so much: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). His tears for Mary and Martha as they were grieving the death of their dear brother Lazarus were not tears of sympathy. It’s not that their sadness triggered his and he spilled out. These were tears of compassion in which the Wonderful Counselor felt for them, cared for them, saw that they were missing God’s comfort and wanted this for them.

Jesus is a High Priest who sympathises with us in that he knows our human weakness from the inside as a human being. He knows our pain and our temptations to sin. But he moves from sympathy to empathy — staying focused on feeling for us and providing for what we need — by giving us access to his throne of grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15)

Jesus’ Compassion

If a good counsellor is anything they’re compassionate; they empathise deeply with people’s feelings and needs and demonstrate profound care for them.

On every page of the Gospels we can find the great compassion of Jesus. He saw that people were like sheep without a shepherd, aimless and unable to truly help themselves, and so he had compassion on them. (Mark 6:34). He had compassion for the sick and the healthy, the hungry and those who were feasting, the poor and the rich, his mother and strangers, the sinners and the religious. He had compassion on everyone.

Jesus Studied People Carefully to Really Know Them

Therapists, pastors, and other people helpers need to be students of the people they care for.

Our Lord “knew what was in each person” (John 2:25). He knew their thoughts and saw their faith in God or lack of it (Matthew 9:2-4). He saw the inmost emotions of people (Mark 12:15).

Jesus Delved Deep Into People’s Lives

The best counsellors go deep with people. They help them to peel back the layers of the onion to get to the core.

Jesus was anything but superficial in his conversations with people. He certainly did not stay on the surface in small talk, but like a “depth psychologist” he delved deep into the heart and soul of people. A metaphor of this is when he called the fisherman disciples to follow him for the third time, after which they gave up their fishing business and normal life to travel everywhere with him in his ministry. He said to them, “Put our your nets into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch” (Luke 5:4).

Jesus’ Counselling Ministry Restores Fallen Leaders

Counsellors have a lot of power because the people who come to them are vulnerable and often they’re broken or fallen. Good counsellors are healers that seek to restore people.

When Peter denied Jesus and was in despair Jesus sought him out. He drew him into conversation around a campfire at the beat. He showed Peter that he loved him. And that even though Peter had failed so badly he still had so much good to offer. Jesus restored Peter’s self-esteem and re-instated him to ministry leadership. (John 21:15-23)

Jesus Ministers Through Human Counsellors

Some Christians say that since Jesus Christ is the Wonderful Counsellor and the True Psychologist we don’t need human counsellors. That’s not true! It’s a false belief that has brought great harm to many wounded, struggling Christians that I have talked to.   Human counsellors are a gift to us and bring healing. I am not denying that and Jesus can work through these in incredible ways.   But know this when you approach Jesus in prayer you approach someone who knows you better than you know yourself and can guide you into healing and wholeness. Perhaps he’ll lead you to professional help too which will bring you healing for mind, body and soul. My prayer for you is that you would know the healing Jesus who is accessible and can guide you to the best place for your healing.

[5minuteswithjoni]

Mum’s the word.

Are you in need of being uplifted?   As a Mum you are probably needing some encouragement right now. Perhaps you feel like you’re doing your best but it isn’t quite good enough? Perhaps you’re struggling with a challenging stage for your children? Perhaps you’re in a comparison trap where everyone else seems to have it all sorted but somehow you don’t measure up?  Perhaps you’re exhausted after a difficult week, month or a season.  

Sit back, relax and enjoy a cup of tea and read on.

I want to tell you that it is a myth that you are all alone in this journey.  You are not. There are countless mums out there who feel what you do sometimes. You are not alone.

How does it feel when you scroll social media and you see all the happy pictures of picture perfect families and you think that’s just not me in real life?  It’s true, we all do it – we show our highlights without all the truth behind the scenes. Perhaps in your daily challenges you compare yourself to other families or you compare your children to other children?

Don’t compare yourself.  You and your family are unique with all your strengths and weaknesses.   

Often you can feel like you are not doing a great parenting job at any of it. I want to tell you these feelings are normal: some days you feel average. And on low days you might feel discouraged. So many mums feel like this.

Adverts and social media are thrown at us all the time – as mums we are told we need a constant upgrade and need to do better.

Deep down we want to do our best for our families, but we can’t be perfect. Don’t measure yourself against other people. Did you know in the Bible it says we are God’s masterpiece created for good works we are called to do? You are amazing and have incredible gifts and strengths inside of you. There never will be another version of you and you are created to make a difference. Don’t wish yourself to be someone else. Be you. You are valuable and amazing just the way you are.  You might not be perfect and your life might not be easy but who you are matters to those around you.  There is always room to grow in each of us, but something powerful that we can do for ourselves is accept who we are and our value.  Our kids are often accepted for who they are and our instinct is to put others first. But you matter too. By accepting yourself this is a gift to your children. My advice to you would be to steer away from comparison and steer toward encouragement for others. 

When you think of your capacity perhaps you struggle with fitting it all in? Perhaps you often feel a sense of overwhelm and stress. Your plate is different to other mums plates. Your capacity is different to others and that’s ok.  You can only do what you can do. You learn this through your journey as a parent and you can start putting boundaries in place if you feel you are overdoing it.

And mum guilt!  That’s common to all of us too - all mums struggle with this.  You can’t afford a lovely cake for your wee one’s birthday, you can only buy a small present for you sons friends party, you’re tween falls of the trampoline and twists their ankle and it’s a hospital trip, you’re teenager says they hate you.  Oh the guilt we all feel that we have failed our kids. Be gentle with yourself, you are doing you’re best at the time.  

You might not feel like you are surviving. Perhaps it’s time to call in the cavalry. What help do you have around you to take the pressure off? Is it time to be vulnerable and ask friends for help? We can try and do it ourselves but we need people along the way to help us. It might not be comfortable saying it out loud that you need someone and you might be too embarrassed, but sometimes we have to be courageous and ask for help.  Do you need to ask to share the load on the school run for example with friends?  It often takes one person to get the ball rolling to take that step and be vulnerable. Can you step out and do that and ask for help?

It’s really nurturing for us to have friends at a different ages and stages than we are. Perhaps there’s mums who are older than you who can offer wisdom and life experience. Friendship is such a gift to us. Perhaps you have some single women friends who don’t have children and can help you to be a better mum. It’s good to be open to friendships that might be a bit different. Hearing other people’s stories helps connect you to other people who also might be having other challenges. Think of one or two people you can trust who you can share your struggle with and you can be vulnerable and this can help you.

When was the last time you laughed and made memories?  Had fun or listened to some great music. Often in the winter seasons we go through in life, we have some memories we can hold onto when things were brighter.  Our children will leave home one day and we will become empty nesters, so cherish the good times together while you have them.  Be present in the small and big moments with your kids.  Often as kids growing up we remember the small things that we treasure the most.  I remember eating chocolate donuts in McDonalds with my Dad as a teen, this was so special for me, a time of connection.  Don’t overlook the ordinary moments with your kids. You’re building something significant in the lives of your children.

But you might have some days you have dismantled rather than built and gone to bed feeling discouraged, you’re not alone in feeling that.  You’ve yelled at your kids and it’s not worked out. This is normal. Tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities to try to build again.

Every day you make sacrifices and you do your best.   Whether you are a person of faith or not, you’re sacrifices are not unseen.  God sees your sacrifices, the cupcakes you made to give something nice for your kids, the room you tidied for your son, putting the crafts out for the umpteenth time, the pizza you made for your daughter at 10pm at night, listening to the 5th breakup story or the maths homework. We are all building great cathedrals. You might not feel you get applause for all of this but remember the small things. We are always there for our children. They are accepted for who they are and although far from perfect we are a safe place where they belong. 

So remember accept yourself, you are not alone, don’t compare, share the load, laugh and remember your sacrifices don’t go unnoticed.  Rest in that today.

[5minuteswithjoni]

God’s heart for your wellbeing

When you think of your individual wellbeing what do you think of?  It’s becoming a concept that more people are considering in the public and private sector.  Governments, health services, charities, and think tanks are all considering how to improve individual and societal wellbeing.  

Defining wellbeing has often been linked to an individuals happiness level, but it is more than just your mood.  The Office for National Statistics currently measures wellbeing across a number of domains, including life satisfaction, how worthwhile things feel to an individual in their life, happiness, anxiety and mental wellbeing. 

The UK Government is working to develop a more composite measure for the nations wellbeing compared to our current economic measure of Gross Domestic Product, because the wellbeing of the population is regarded as just as important than production and consumption. 

But what is God’s view of our wellbeing, individually and as a nation?

In the Bible we read in the Old Testament the concept shalom which includes what we consider to be peace, but it also means much more. To experience God’s shalom is to experience wellbeing in all aspects of life.   It translates as wholeness and wellbeing which includes our mental and physical health, financial stability, a sense of purpose in life and meaningful work. You may be able to think of more components.  More information about the definition of shalom can be found here.

We know that there is not shalom present in this world and often a lack of human flourishing.  Tim Keller writes in Generous Justice, “human flourishing and well-being are ultimately a function of God’s saving work.” God’s plan of redemption is rightly described as shalom, the result of which is human flourishing. Through his death and resurrection, Jesus took the first steps towards restoring shalom to all of God’s creation. We long for him to return and finish this work he started so long ago. We can remember the work he has called us to do while we eagerly await his return which is to increase shalom in ourselves, our families, our communities and our nation.

How do we do that individually and as a society?  Psychologists and researchers have found that wellbeing can be changed in our lives through intentional activity -  are you being intentional with your relationships, time, money and resources to increase your wellbeing?  Dave Smith’s book ‘Gods Plan For Your Wellbeing’ is a good place to start the journey of increasing your wellbeing intentionally.  Researchers have found that the quality of our social relationships, our wider environment (getting out in nature) and play and meaningful work or volunteering all help to improve wellbeing.  The evidence shows that if you have someone to rely on, a good relationship with your partner, trust and if you are employed, are shown to have positive wellbeing. There is also a link between life expectancy and positive wellbeing.  For example, studies have shown that those with higher wellbeing impacts on life expectancy and that wellbeing improves our resistance to developing illness as well as improving recovery.  

Next time you think about you’re wellbeing have a think about what you can do to improve it.  God’s heart for you is to experience wellbeing and flourishing. Although it is not perfect in this life and there are trials and difficulties that are painful, God heart is that you experience shalom in this life.  Whilst it won’t always be perfect, God’s shalom and wellbeing will be experienced by us fully in the new heaven and new earth, we can work towards it in the here and now and have hope for perfect wellbeing in the life to come. 

Pray for those around you to experience God’s shalom/wellbeing in increasing measure. 

[5minuteswithjoni]

Do you ever feel like you are not good enough? Often these thoughts can come rushing in when we are stepping out of our comfort zone, when we’re not feeling confident or we’re starting a new job or comparing our lives to others on social media.

This excerpt is taken from a great blog here:

Do you ever feel not good enough?

In our culture, a person’s value is set by their utility, by what they can produce. If what you can produce is considered valuable by society, then that means you are valuable. On the other hand, if society, or someone such as your boss, don’t think you have anything to offer, then we take that to mean that we aren’t valuable – that we aren’t good enough.

All of these things, from how our culture assesses value at a broader level to how that can play out in our personal life, shapes our self-understanding. But exactly what makes us valuable?

What makes us valuable and worthwhile?

One of the more well-known Psalms in the Bible is Psalm 139. In that passage of Scripture, David is talking about the absolutely mind-boggling way that God knows him and us all. He knows our thoughts, He knows where we’re going, and He created us with intention; with purpose and care.

One of the most powerful lines in that psalm is “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:13-14).

Think about that for a minute. The God who made galaxies, from the smallest microbes to giant planets and stars – this same God made you. And He made you “fearfully and wonderfully.” You are a work of art, something to be wondered at because of how amazingly complex and beautiful you are, coming from the hand of God.

It’s not about anything you’ve done, but what God has done. We so easily lose sight of the weight of these words and the significance of knowing that we are made in God’s image. Our value lies far deeper than our looks, talents, and gifts. Our every fiber was knit together by God, and He loves us as His creation. That can never be taken away or undone.

Even when we make mistakes, one of the encouraging things about God is that He is gentle with us. He understands our weaknesses. Another psalm puts it this way: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). God knows our frailty, and instead of judging us as not good enough and casting us aside, He has compassion on us.

Instead of disqualifying us and looking elsewhere, God loves us and welcomes us. This is very different from how our culture operates, and often how our friends and family operate – when we make mistakes (and sometimes even if we don’t), people can dismiss and disregard you.

It is also different from how we are even toward ourselves. We can be so quick to condemn, label and discount ourselves, but God has compassion for us. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has God removed our transgressions from us.”

If we are not feeling good enough, if we are struggling to see our value in the midst of a struggle or mistake, remember this big question that Paul asks in his letter to the Christians living in Rome: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). If God is in your corner in Jesus, who can condemn you or try and separate you from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord? The answer is, nothing and no one!

The voices that accuse us, including our own, are met with and challenged by the voice of truth – God’s voice, about who we are in His sight. The rock bottom reality of who God is, the God who is faithful, trustworthy and true, is surety for our confidence. We are valuable precisely because we are irrevocably made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27).

That is something we can’t change about ourselves. And so, when you are not feeling good enough, your attention should turn to the only voice that matters – God’s. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Let God speak what is true into your life, and the truth is that you are somebody because God made you.

Our sense of self-worth should not be tied to what we do or don’t do right. That just leads to constant insecurity. Rather, it ought to be connected to who we are, and more importantly Whose we are. That is a far firmer foundation to base our lives on. It is not a quick and easy thing to start reorienting our thought-life in this way. It takes time to undo certain ways of thinking and being.

We need to have our minds renewed so that we will begin to think differently about ourselves, to see the truth of what God says about us, and to take it to heart. This, ultimately, will give us rest from our constant striving to feel like we are enough.

As someone once said, “When we look back and wonder how we ever made it this far, we’ll realize it’s not because we’ve been clever, but because God has been wise; not because we were strong, but because God has been mighty; and not because we’ve been consistent, but because God has been faithful.”

[5minuteswithjoni]

For those who feel unseen.

El Roi, the God who sees, the God who looks after us, the God named Jesus.

For the Mum who spends countless hours cleaning, changing nappies, wiping up spat out food, weary from the bugs little one keeps catching, struggling to find fulfilment or purpose in it all. He sees.

For the man who got up, logged on for work, worked hard, logged off and feels undervalued and under paid, convinced that if he were to vanish tonight not a single person would remember him. He sees.

For the woman who pleads in quick prayers every morning for help to face the day and just get through the week full of doubt and worry, to a God who seems silent. He sees.

For the elderly woman who feels lonely and isolated the days running into weeks with little connection longing to be understood and accepted. He sees.

For the Son who has lost his Father to a horrible illness, life cut short and feels the hollow ache of loss inside sometimes and numbness other times. He sees.

For the parent who is finding the teen years tough to navigate and is feeling stuck and not sure what to do and feels daunted by the struggle. He sees.

You know these people, some of you are these people. Feeling unseen, unloved, unheard.

Through the days when his children are in loss, shame, confusion, and doubt, Jesus never closes his eyes. He looks and he sees. More than that, he sits with the suffering and holds the weary soul. There is not a bone in the body that he doesn’t care about.

[5minuteswithjoni]

Low Carb Sweet and Sour Chicken

Diabetic friendly and keto friendly.

Serves 4

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon of Olive oil or your oil of choice for frying

450g diced chicken

I pack of Mange tout and baby corn

2 peppers - ideally red and yellow

Red onion

For the sauce

70ml cider vinegar

3 tablespoons of soy sauce

4 tablespoons of tomatoe paste or tomato passata

1 tablespoon of honey

1 teaspoon of Xanthan gum

Serve with cauliflower rice.

Method:

First heat the oil then add in the diced chicken breast and cook until brown on all sides and cooked through. This sweet and sour chicken recipe is unbelievably light so if you want to use boneless skinless chicken thighs, please do!

The meat only takes about 5 minutes to cook.

Now we need to reduce the heat to medium and add in the red and yellow bell peppers and mange tout and baby corn.

We are only going to cook them for a couple of minutes so they keep their nice color and a little crispness.

Now we add in the apple cider vinegar, tomato paste, soy sauce, honey and xanthan gum. Bring to the boil for 3-5 minutes then serve.

Heat the cauliflower rice in the pouch in the microwave for ease and serve with the dish.

[5minuteswithjoni]

I’ve added a 7th week to the meal plan. You might like to try these next week so hopefully it’s in time for your weekly shop.

Enjoy.

Week 7

Monday: Tiger Prawn tagliatelle 🍝

Tuesday: Chicken breasts stuffed with green olives and goats cheese and roasted cubed potato

Wednesday: Oregano lamb steaks with giant cous cous (Goujons for kids) 🥩

Thursday: Pea and sweet potatoe korma 🥘

Friday: Steak, wedges and chimichurri sauce

Saturday: Tomatoe pasta bake 🥫

Sunday: Roasted herb chicken with tomato & mozzerella & fusilli salad with honey dressing

[5minuteswithjoni]

For Week 2 of the meal plan, we have Chicken Chasseaur with a red wine ju. Here’s the recipe. I suggest serving with mash and greens. Try broccoli or green beans.

Let me know if your kids enjoy this or not. I’d love to hear how you get on.

I’d love to see your creations so please share your cooking with me either in messenger or instagram. It’d be lovely to see if you are having a go with the recipes I’m sharing.

If you are being weight conscious in lockdown I’ve been trying mindful eating as a method to help with weight maintenance/weight loss. I’ve tried a number of diets and always struggle with how restrictive they are as I enjoy food and eating. Here is some helpful advice for helping you enjoy your food and avoid overeating. I’ve lost a few pounds since starting and finding it helpful. See if this also works for you when trying the recipes on my blog. You may not be ready for this so don’t put added pressure on yourself if you’re not in that place yet. We are all trying to navigate this crisis so take your time and be kind to yourself. I’ve just found this method good for me at the moment.

[5minuteswithjoni]

On Week 1 of the meal plan we also make the Mary Contini lasagne. Mary Contini owns the Valvona and Crolla delicatessens in Edinburgh on Princes Street and Elm Row. She has written numerous cook books including ‘Dear Francesca: A cookbook with love’ which includes her lasagne recipe. This is a lovely cookbook and would recommend it if you enjoy Italian cooking and eating. 🇮🇹

For the ragu see the picture below of Mary’s ingredients. For the white sauce, you’ll need 500ml of whole or semi-skimmed milk, 50g of plain flour and 50g butter or margarine. You’ll also need grated cheddar and nutmeg to add later when you layer up the lasagne. To make the white sauce mix the ingredients together and heat on the stove on low heat until it thickens. Set aside.

Make the ragu adding the oil and butter to the frying pan and frying the onion, carrots and celery, then after a few minutes fry the beef mince. Add the white wine and turn the heat up and bubble for a few minutes until the alcohol burns off. Add the passata or liquidised plum tomatoes and the 100ml of milk. Add the salt and pepper. Simmer the ragu for a couple of hours for richness. If you don’t have time cook for 30 minutes.

Layer up the meat first and lasagne sheets, white sauce then a sprinkling of nutmeg then add a handful of grated cheddar and keep doing this until you run out. Add plenty of cheese on the top.

Bake in the oven at 200 dc for 45 minutes - 1 hour. Serve with a salad or peas. Enjoy. If you like, send me your pictures of your creations.

[5minuteswithjoni]

For Week 1, one dish is the Cuban Prawn and Chorizo linguine.

For this recipe, boil the linguine. I use frozen king prawns for this dish but if you can’t get those use fresh prawns. Heat the frozen king prawns in a frying pan with a slug of oil. Once the prawns are pink either slice the chorizo or use pre chopped chorizo and add to the pan. Then after a couple of minutes add the Cuban prawn sauce. I use the Santa Maria Latin America Cuban Chilli Sofrito sauce which you can get at the main supermarkets. Once the linguine is cooked add the mixture and serve with a sprinkling on Parmesan. You could add cooked peppers to the dish if you’d like.

If you’re feeling adventurous you could make the Cuban sauce from scratch. Fry onions and 1 red pepper, add 1-2 red chilli’s (to taste) chopped, 1 tsp coriander leaf, 1 tsp parsley or handful of fresh parsley, 1 tsp paprika, a bay leaf and a slug of red wine vinegar, add 1 table spoon of tomatoe purée and can chopped tomatoes and simmer for 10 minutes before adding the sauce to the prawns and chorizo. Then add to the cooked linguine.

Enjoy.

[5minuteswithjoni]

Do you find meal planning taxing? I know I do. Thinking up meals for the week ahead. Ensuring variety and to keep things interesting.

To give you some meal ideas I’ve come up with a six week meal plan. You can pick and choose what you fancy or follow the weeks that work for you. I’ll post links to good recipes on here too. Enjoy.

NB if you have kids who are fussy like mine, they may not eat everything on here. Just go with what works for you and don’t stress if the kids don’t like the food.

If you find these helpful I’ll be happy to send you these in note form for you to add to your phone, just send me a message on Facebook.

Here goes:

Week 1

Monday: Chicken fajitas with sour cream & guacamole 🌯🍗🥑

Tuesday: Cuban chorizo & prawn linguine 🍝

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, mash & greens with creamy sauce and red jelly 🧆

Thursday: Lentil soup & sour dough. 🍲🍞

Friday: Salmon, greens & crushed new potatoes 🍣🥔

Saturday: Steaks, potato dauphinois & green beans (Macaroni cheese for kids) 🥩

Sunday: Mary Contini Lasagne. 🍲

Week 2

Monday: Chicken chasseur & red wine ju with mash & greens 🍗🧅🥬🍷

Tuesday: Prawn stir fry with prawn crackers

Wednesday: Slow cooked chilli con carne & wedges with sour cream & chive dip 🍲

Thursday: Chicken spinach & mushroom pesto spaghetti 🍝

Friday: Pitta Pizzas, salad & coleslaw 🍕

Saturday: Sausage ragu with rigatoni pasta

Sunday: Pork meatballs in sweet soy sauce with broccoli and rice 🧆

Week 3

Monday: Cajun chicken & mediterranean vegetables 🍗🍆🍅

Tuesday: Sea bass with watercress & crushed new potatoes. 🥔🍲

Wednesday: Beef and red wine casserole followed by watermelon. 🥩🍷🍉

Thursday: Sausages, mash & peas 🍲

Friday: Thai green curry and jasmine rice 🥘

Saturday: Beef mince tacos & salad 🌮

Sunday: Easy Spanish chicken & roast potatoes. 🍗🥔

Week 4

Monday: Sweet chilli pork stir fry & udon noodles 🥬🍜

Tuesday: Scrambled egg & bacon on toast.🥚🍞

Wednesday: Toad in the hole with cauliflower cheese and peas. 🧀

Thursday Tricolour taglielle with rocket, tomatoes, feta & capers 🍝

Friday: Chicken korma curry & poppadums.

Saturday: Burgers with cheese, tomato & lettuce 🍔

Sunday: Mexican grilled chicken & salad 🍗🥑🌽

Week 5

Monday: Fusilli carbonara with streaky bacon lardons 🍝🥓

Tuesday: Lemon chicken & green beans with coconut rice

Thursday: Piri piri chicken with broccoli & sweet potatoe wedges 🍗🌶🍠

Friday: Pulled pork burritos with gem lettuce, avocado & tomatoe 🌯🥗

Saturday: Tomato pasta bake 🥫

Sunday: Roast beef, cauliflower cheese, Yorkshire puddings, carrots, rosemary roast potatoes. Chocolate tart & creme fraiche. 🥩🥔🧄🥮

Week 6

Monday: Chimichurri chicken with broccoli & mash. 🍗🥦🥔

Tuesday: Steamed fish & pak choi parcels with sticky rice 🥬🍱

Wednesday: Chicken, spinach & mushroom pesto spaghetti 🍗🍝

Thursday: Thai beef stir fry 🥩 🍝

Friday: Steak, potato wedges & green beans 🥩🥔

Saturday: Crispy chicken burgers with coleslaw & french fries

Sunday: Roast garlic & herb chicken and roasted root veg. 🍗🧄🥕🍠🧅

Week 7

Monday: Tiger Prawn tagliatelle 🍝

Tuesday: Chicken breasts stuffed with green olives and goats cheese and roasted cubes

Wednesday: Oregano lamb steaks sand giant cous cous (Goujons for kids) 🥩

Thursday: Pea and sweet potatoe korma 🥘

Friday: Steak, wedges and chimichurri sauce

Saturday: Tomatoes pasta bake 🥫

Sunday: Roasted herb chicken with tomato & mozzerella & fusilli salad with honey dressing 🍗🥗

[5minuteswithjoni]

Isla. Strong. At times fierce. Speaks her mind. Determined and will often not take no for an answer. There’s a fire in her belly. Sometimes she’s deeply caring and compassionate. She tells me of times when she is the one who leads to resolve conflict between friends. I’m learning so much through leading her and this is sometimes a challenge but I’m fascinated to see what this one will become. Dreaming big dreams for Isla Grace.

#Isla

[5minuteswithjoni]

My story for Mental Health Awareness Week

In the Winter of 2010 when Isla was 9 months old and James was nearly two years old, I was sleep deprived, experienced pressure of raising two young children, isolation, and a husband working long hours to provide for our family. Looking back, I can see I was becoming more poorly over the months but we just didn’t see the signs. The day I was almost admitted to hospital was the day I had thought someone was telling me to kill myself.  Despite the overwhelming belief that this was true and this was my reality something inside me knew I had to get out of the house and escape from the place that had become my prison. I walked pushing the two children in a pram on Ferry road during that awful Edinburgh winter that everyone still talks about today.  The police stopped me on the road and told me to get on the pavement but they didn’t realise I was in a full blown psychotic episode and sadly didn’t pick this up. When I finally called an ambulance admitting suicidal thoughts, the paramedic avoided A&E and took me to my GP instead, who had known me throughout my pregnancies.  I had become so ill that she burst into tears when she saw me.  When I think back to this I am thankful for such compassion. 

Thankfully I was kept from mental hospital admission and looked after via the community mental health team, but little did I know that my recovery journey from psychosis was going to be long and arduous. I suffered from clinical depression a few months later due to the trauma and continued sleep deprivation but carried on raising my two young children, which, looking back is the hardest thing I have ever done.

After the trauma I had to get used to taking medication. There was some trial and error.  The first pills prescribed were akin to horse tranquilisers and I found simple everyday tasks extraordinarily difficult. I could hardly move.  Thankfully a switch to a more suitable medication helped. The medicine worked. This demonstrates a neurochemical basis for my problem.  Paranoid delusions were put at bay and the depression began to lift and I slowly recovered.  When you are paranoid and deluded you generally believe a different reality and when you are really sick you cannot be reasoned with.  My husband talks about ‘losing me’ - he feels that when I am in this place I am not the person he married but someone else.

I am not completely free of mental illness.  I still take my medicine and I have times when I am prone to relapse because of this weakness.  I’ve learnt to manage myself with this problem.  Looking back at these instances I’m not completely sure why I have this weakness.  Some of it may be a genetic predisposition to illness some of it may be environmental stressors, some of it may be due to my dabbling with drugs in my teenage years.

Despite all these things, I found my faith in God greatly shaken by this illness and naturally have had to work through many questions.  The first year when I attended church after the first episode I was numb and tired.  

When I listen to my friends and their stories or read through posts on Facebook, I can see the awful personal battles people have to walk through in this life.  I wonder how people find the strength to endure and grapple with the pain that life can throw at us. Suffering can’t come with flippant answers. Rob and I have had to endure some dark times in our journey, but with this my hope is we can use our challenges to help others, which is partly the reason I now tell my story.  I have found I’m more compassionate, inclusive and have more empathy for people who struggle in this life.  Life can be extraordinarily tough but there is hope – you have to hold on to hope.  To reach this point is not a flippant I-think-other-people-need-to-hear me-say-this-so-I’ll-say-it. I have reached this conclusion after much thinking and soul searching.  In 2 Corinthians it says that: “[God] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  I trust that somehow my story can be a comfort to others in a time of need.

I’m grateful for a culture at work that helps me with this and supportive family and friends without whom I’d be a wreck.

Another big battle I have had to face is with the shame and stigma associated with mental illness.  Despite the awareness we have today of this issue and the fact that many of my family and friends suffer directly or know someone who does, there is still so much shame people experience because of their personal battles and people suffer in silence. It was really encouraging sharing my story with friends at the school gate recently when I was on the verge of relapse – the truth is most of us have to face difficulties in physical or mental sickness at some point in our lives – we are in the same boat. 

I have found working through shame in church community particularly challenging.  We need communities that are safe places to belong. The ingredients to healthy relationships and faith communities to combat shame is authenticity– this is hard to work out for most of us, but we have to be comfortable with being real with each other, warts and all (I think this gets easier as you get older).  It’s still really hard admitting you have a mental illness because of the confusion about causes. People are still poorly misunderstood because of a lack of education. Some people still think that mental illness is something you just need prayer for or just need to ‘get over’ and this is a barrier.  Mental illness is no different to physical illness – my brain just doesn’t work properly but I’m still Joni with all my personality I just have this struggle.  People with mental illness like me have a tendency to self-isolate so encouraging relationship and community is important and reinforcing belonging – people with mental illness (as well as without!) need to know they are loved, valued, belong, included, have purpose. They need to know they can fit in even when they are sick and they still have gifts to bring when in recovery.  Sometimes this is helpful reinforced by word, but more powerful when reinforced through deed.

 If you are a friend or family member of someone suffering, reach into those who are up against it.

The reality is that 1 in 4 of any of us will suffer from mental health issues at some point. I’ve learned the hard way but my encouragement to you is don’t suffer in silence. Get professional help. Get medicine. Be real with yourself. The first step in dealing with a problem is to recognise the problem. When you see someone you know potentially suffering, contact their GP. Some helpful questions to ask yourself: How do you feel mentally? How are you sleeping? Do you feel restful when you wake? How are my thoughts making me feel? Am I having unhelpful thoughts? Am I using helpful strategies to cope with stress?

If you need some help, there are some great resources out there including:

Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you

Mind and Soul – exploring Christianity and mental health - https://www.mindandsoulfoundation.org/

Lastly I’m holding onto hope for the future. Pope Francis said in his Ted Talk for 2017: “Hope is the virtue of a heart that doesn’t lock itself into darkness, that doesn’t dwell on the past, that does not simply get by in the present but is able to see a tomorrow.  Hope is the door that opens onto the future”

Joni