7nessasaryevils

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I work at a restaurant and nothing will ever beat the time this woman threw an absolute hissy fit at brunch because we ran out of home fries and all we had were french fries, she yelled at me, she demanded to speak to my manager, and when she’s in the middle of complaining, my manager just stopped her and went “hey do you want a hug?” and this woman went “what?” and my manager was like “you just seem super upset about the shape of these potatoes and I thought maybe you needed a hug” fucking hysterical, I got to watch a human blue screen in real life, absolutely the best way to shame someone for their nonsense I’ve ever seen

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hazel: has anyone seen percy and annabeth?

*frank, leo, and piper all at once*

frank: they’re joking around

leo: they’re arguing

piper: they’re making out

everyone (confused): …

frank: um when i saw them like twenty minutes ago, they were joking around together and laughing their butts off outside the senate house

leo: well when i saw them at the forum like ten minutes ago, they were throwing hands and pointing fingers and rolling their eyes at each other, like, viciously arguing over something

piper: ok well when i passed by them literally just five minutes ago, they were very heatedly making out against annabeth’s dorm room door

everyone:

grover: yeah… they tend to be like that

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Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

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Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.

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When I read a fanfic I like, the author becomes a mini celebrity to me. So when an author with a work I like kudos’ or comments on my own fanfic I just-

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that's illegal man 😭

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Them: how obsessed are you with The Sign?

Me: yes

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They should give us a moment in season 2 where someone partnered pulls up with a random bite mark on their neck and when gets asked they just hint at their partner and everyone is like "okay damn, good for you" and then it never gets talked about again.

The same way they never really explained anything omega/alphaverse related in season 1 😌