a-birdbrain

[a-birdbrain]

Me, screaming into the abyss, “sorry just decompressing”

[a-birdbrain]

“That’s the shit, baby!”- fun way to agree with something or express how much you like something

“That’s the shit baby.”- horrifying, why is the baby covered in shit, or,,,, is the baby made out of shit? Either way, don’t like it.

[a-birdbrain]

I’m completely covered in soup. Absolutely drenched in it.

[a-birdbrain]

Me:

My anxiety:

Me:

My anxiety:

*something incredibly mild happens*

Me: oh ok

My anxiety: uh Not Okay I think it’s time for a complete BrEaAkDoWn

[a-birdbrain]

The rooster in my stomach WANTS OUT

[a-birdbrain]

Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,

Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,

Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,

And bring it right here.

*cocks gun*

We won’t go until we get some,

We won’t go until we get some,

We won’t go until we get some,

So bring it right here.

[a-birdbrain]

When I was younger we would drove by the VIP near my house and I would think “oh! The sign says they have toys, I wonder if I could get a rainbowdash plushie there?”

Turns out you cant

[a-birdbrain]

Can I call Christianity “the god fandom” or???

[a-birdbrain]

what do you call a sunburnt penis

[a-birdbrain]

A quick reminder for everyone that the infamous Stephen King, who authored dozens of pants-shittingly terrifying horror novels, screenplays, and short stories, has a small corgi puppy named Molly and posts pictures and cute little blurbs about her on his official Facebook page on at least a weekly basis.  

[a-birdbrain]

[a-birdbrain]

pants cat

[a-birdbrain]

[a-birdbrain]

Twenty One Pilots concert?

[a-birdbrain]

I’m also allergic to pineapple but you don’t see me not putting it on my pizza now do you

a list of things phil is allergic to

[a-birdbrain]

Dog post dog post dog post

How I talk to my dog when he’s being good: “ohh good night lovely boy, my sweet prince, little king. Sleep well you hairy sweetie. I love you.”

Vs when he’s been bad: “doth thou betray me?! How could you do this to me, you smelly man, you hairless rat, you horrid creature?! I cannot forgive you for this.”

[a-birdbrain]

today in lunch I put my chocolate cookie into my friend’s ranch dressing and ohhohohoho that was a bad idea