a-polite-melody

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*ska music fading happily into the distance*

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"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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10D Chess

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Today my friend said something along the lines of, "It's gonna feel so good to get top surgery and get your huge F-cup boobs cut off. It's gonna be like shaving a matted dog," and that's like the funniest comparison to make on planet earth.

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“Lettuce loves technology!” 2006

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directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.

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Please forgive me, I wrote this dumb joke in my drafts TWO YEARS AGO and I saw it today and cracked up. Seems appropriate since Dracula is everywhere,  enjoy my failure to launch vampire romance.

If this made you laugh you could consider donating to my Ko fi or check out my Redbubble or Teepublic.

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bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

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band is @/thepssyboys on Instagram

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when you're sick you're either a prince moder or a dog moder. prince moding is when you demand many little treats, drinks etc. i personally prefer to drag myself off to a secluded corner to either die or recover, aka dog moding

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Baby pelican👎

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went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up