a-smol-cosplayer

[a-smol-cosplayer]

We get it kind of vaguely confirmed that the Black Pearl is like soul magic tied to Jack Sparrow (it literally went to the Locker with him + Davey Jones mentions it almost every time he’s fiending for Jack’s soul), which lends immeasurable humor to Barbossa insisting that it is in fact his ship, not Jack’s. As if every time he actually achieved captaincy of it something didn’t go horribly wrong.

All I’m saying is if I got lifelong traumatized by the same boat (twice) after stealing it from the dude who brought it back from purgatory (twice) by sacrificing his own soul to the Sea Grim Reaper (twice)… Well first I’d hire a medium and get exercised, and second I would not touch that ship with a fifty foot pole because clearly there’s some preternatural fuckery going on that does not want me to be involved.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

i love how in pirates of the caribbean we barely ever see the pirate characters doing any actual piracy. like, will and jack steal a boat in the first one, but that’s about it

[a-smol-cosplayer]

Barbossa and Jack as a dynamic are so funny to me like, they’re exes, they’ve never dated in their life, they’re divorced, they’ve never married in their life, they’re enemies, they want to murder each other, they’re the besties ever, they share a braincell, Barbossa sees Jack doing something insane and goes ‘yeah he knows what he’s doing’, Jack saves a single bullet specifically so he can shoot Barbossa.

Essentially it can boiled down to ‘The only person who’s going to kill that idiot is ME’ and it just works.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

Imagine thinking Jack Sparrow is the protagonist of Pirates of the Caribbean. Jack makes no character development through the series. Jack isn’t the protagonist. He’s the catalyst.

Elizabeth is the protagonist. She goes from living an English colonist life and repressing her desire for Will, to leading the pirates against the English Navy as the Pirate King. Talk about character development

[a-smol-cosplayer]

pirates of the caribbean but when elizabeth steals the aztec gold piece from will as a child, it activates The Curse and she grows up a little part-time zombie child. what if she sees the cursed pirates when the pearl raids port royal and she goes to the ship willingly to try to figure out why she's Like That. idk how else this would affect the story though.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

hey. don’t cry. i went to Your Heart Locked In A Chest Island and…oh. um. yeah there’s three scrungly idiots fighting over it. with swords. they’re on the comically large hamster wheel and everything. yeah it’s gonna take all day. sorry

[a-smol-cosplayer]

in love with the idea of pirate king Elizabeth Swann-Turner sending messages to her husband, queen consort slash ferryman Will Turner-Swann via the sailors she kills, and at first it's very chaste and sweet but then as the years wear on it gets increasingly bodice-rippy, like "Tell my husband I need to [redacted] his [redacted]" so you get this 55-year old ghost of a Navy cook telling this all straight-faced to Will and the crew of the Dutchman while surrounded by a dozen people who just perished at sea plus an obligatory mother covering her child's ears

[a-smol-cosplayer]

I think it is important that, aside from the scene where he's a kid and only conscious for long enough to say his name, the first thing we see Will Turner do is break something and then flounder about for a moment trying to hide the evidence

[a-smol-cosplayer]

barbossa's first words to jack in like literally 10 years being how the FUCK did you get off whore island is literally funny no matter which way you slice it bc to me it's like. option a he literally found out jack was alive in that second like my ex husband who I left for dead just texted me I lived bitch or whatever OR option b he's known for a while and he's been thinking abt that for fucking everrr like howwww did that menace get off the island I specifically left him to kill himself at how did he doooo that⁉️ like it's literally good either way

[a-smol-cosplayer]

came back wrong trope is very good but I find it very funny that barbossa came back literally the same like that was just a minor inconvenience to him. gets killed and comes back and is like um okay anyway

[a-smol-cosplayer]

Will being sincerely supportive of Elizabeth's unconventional passions, desires, choices, roles etc. is actually, probably my absolute most favorite thing about their relationship, I'm not gonna lie.

When she throws out "daft" battle plans, he just shrugs and throws his weight behind trying them.

He saw her show up in menswear to save his ass on Isla de Muerte and was just thrilled about it--nothing other, nothing less.

He gave her swords and personally taught her how to use them to her best advantage, helped her make herself more formidable and independent. Literally, the way that swordplay is a genuinely central part of their love language is so--!!

When she cut her hair in the old DMC drafts, he immediately complimented her over it.

When she was distraught over Jack's death, he offered to help her make it right.

When he found out she was Pirate King, he just said, "Based."

And when she ordered them into a battle that was likely a lost cause, he was the first "fool" to stand behind her.

And she almost never has to ask it of him, he just does it.

He's not without flaws or missteps, don't get me wrong. But when Elizabeth is in the thick of anything she's put her mind to, there's virtually never self-consciousness or doubt or competition or anything like that on Will's part--the closest he comes to that is questioning whether she's fallen out of love with him and why, and even then he doesn't let it stand between her and what he believes she wants. Instead, there's this beautiful, consistent almost-entirely-nonverbal expression that she deserves to have and be everything she wants.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

pirates of the caribbean killed all 4 of its main male characters, and one came back with nail polish, another came back with eyeliner, and the third already had so much eyeliner that it was just like, okay you're good, and the one who stayed dead was in the military.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

My favorite thing abt the relationship dynamic of Pirates of the Caribbean is that Will and Elizabeth value Jack enough to save his life in the first movie and then spend the next two movies wondering if it was worth it

[a-smol-cosplayer]

thinking about how when elizabeth confronts beckett she says, “consider in your calculation that you robbed me,” not “of my wedding”, but “of my wedding NIGHT”. taking will to bed was really the first thing on her mind huh

[a-smol-cosplayer]

Okay TV weddings are cute and all but name a more iconic wedding scene than Will and Elizabeth Turner’s cause they were literally married by the man who kidnapped the bride and killed the groom’s dad, WHILE killing sea creature-people things and while reciting their vows to each other and their witnesses along with the psychopathic officiant were two other previously undead freaks who tried to kill her the first time they met her and a fucking immortal monkey.

And don’t even get me started on the way he spun her like they were dancing. That. Was. Everything.

You can’t get weddings like those on sitcoms.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

[a-smol-cosplayer]

bringing the potc fandom back one meme at a time #18

8th one is a lie btw he’s the prettiest girl in the room