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my brain produced the phrase “can’t get a moment of homoerotic peace” the other day and now i can’t stop saying it

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Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

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OKAY series of polls about sock preferences because i'm a curious autistic fuck:

(if you don't wear socks don't answer any of the other questions)

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Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

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time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

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I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

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no matter the struggles there is always ao3 in bed

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Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

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A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

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“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

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Fnaf au where everything is the same but Gregory and Vanessa are both live-tweeting the events of SB

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Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

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I deserve to have a body horror mode. Like I should have a second form that’s just really bad to look at

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I deserve to have a body horror mode. Like I should have a second form that’s just really bad to look at

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This is a neutral post

Feel free to stop here and rest before journeying to the posts below.