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pre-fame hozier tweeting this casually in 2012 like it isn’t the best fucking joke i’ve ever heard in my life, decimating all my brain cells instantly

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What’s up late night folks? Here’s an eerie shot I took down a pitch black road in the middle of the night

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This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

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Janlynn: Smokey Mountain Cats stitched by sgivens_i.

“Judgy Kittehs ask why it took 20 years to finish. Tsk tsk. Smokey Mountain Cats by Janlynn. So.Much.Blue.”

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Sampson is a service dog for a researcher who works in a lab. He has his own lab coat and safety goggles

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Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

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Pro-writing tip: if your story doesn't need a number, don't put a fucking number in it.

Nothing, I mean nothing, activates reader pedantry like a number.

I have seen it a thousand times in writing workshops. People just can't resist nitpicking a number. For example, "This scifi story takes place 200 years in the future and they have faster than light travel because it's plot convenient," will immediately drag every armchair scientist out of the woodwork to say why there's no way that technology would exist in only 200 years.

Dates, ages, math, spans of time, I don't know what it is but the second a specific number shows up, your reader is thinking, and they're thinking critically but it's about whether that information is correct. They are now doing the math and have gone off drawing conclusions and getting distracted from your story or worse, putting it down entirely because umm, that sword could not have existed in that Medieval year, or this character couldn't be this old because it means they were an infant when this other story event happened that they're supposed to know about, or these two events now overlap in the timeline, or... etc etc etc.

Unless you are 1000% certain that a specific number is adding to your narrative, and you know rock-solid, backwards and forwards that the information attached to that number is correct and consistent throughout the entire story, do yourself a favor, and don't bring that evil down upon your head.

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The answer to your problems is self-discipline

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"Are you more of a family or career oriented person?" Babygirl im a bed oriented person. Snork mimimi

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so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

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you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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who up wanting something they can never have

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learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally