agressive-demons

[agressive-demons]

The Day After

Mascara all over

a pint of ice cream

to the side of my bed

and chardonnay

that i couldnt bother to finish

because i was

“wine drunk”

your jacket’s

in the corner

dont come closer

i can still feel your touch

even though

youre not here

i didnt want these thoughts

i didnt consent to these thoughts

am i not good enough

is that the problem

tell me

am i not good enough

we used to vibe

what happened

did you find another it girl

a slim fit beauty

wearing fashion nova

and fenty beauty

im tired of the lies

and thoughts

and the pain

its the day after

valentines day

and you broke up with me

2 days prior

my heart feels like fire

no more good mornings

or good nights

no more i love yous

no more late nights

no more phone calls

no more texts

no more cute pet names at that

im tired of crying

i feel so alone

and when i see your name

i wanna throw away my phone

i wanna scream

and yell

i wanna break out of this

personal hell

so good bye

be gone

i cant look you in the eyes

because if i do

i know im gonna cry

and im not weak

im strong

at least thats how it seems

i cant let you know that you

quite literally fucking broke me

and its the day after

valentines day

why should i care

about a stupid hallmark holiday

i mean

it would have been nice to get a gift

and a hug

and a kiss

and date

like all my friends

but my memory

is just

the day after…

[agressive-demons]

I dont need anyone pretending they give a fuck about me

[agressive-demons]

[agressive-demons]

diary #11 - have you ever?

have you ever look at someone and think about how beautiful and amazing they are but also later feel about how you dont deserve them at all because you are just not good enough for them. but you really like them, genuinely. have you ever felt that?

have you ever felt that you are never never good enough? i do. i feel it every single day.

[agressive-demons]

So let me dry my tears,

And let me stand up tall,

For I am a Queen of the most high,

And Queens do not yield to anyone,

And Queens do not kneel to anyone.

-@Unicornss-and-mermaidss

[agressive-demons]

“Someday I will be someone’s first choice. I keep telling myself.”

— gazinguponmyheart

[agressive-demons]

I only write when I'm falling in love or falling apart

[agressive-demons]

“As I watched you slip further away from me, and what we could have been, it felt like I was dying again. I know the feeling. It’s terrible. I can’t ever imagine that I’ll be okay again. That I can walk this earth a healed man. I think all always be broken if you never come back and put your hand on my heart and tell me everything will be alright.”

— -I’m losing you

[agressive-demons]

I’m not afraid of feeling like I’m not good enough in a relationship, I’m afraid of being too much. Too needy, too worried about the future, too whiny, too affectionate, too desperate, too caring, too annoying, too talkative, too impatient, too interfering, too self-righteous, too bossy, and just too much of everything. That’s my greatest fear for every relationship I have and will have in the future. I’m afraid people will get frustrated and leave me because I’m just too much.

// 8:57am //

[agressive-demons]

[agressive-demons]

[agressive-demons]

“What I’ve realized about hiding an unbearable amount of pain is that it makes you both the strongest and weakest person. Strong because you learn to cope with and handle all the suffering. Weak because it wears you down until all of you is broken.”

— tara love 

[agressive-demons]

“I’m trying really hard to not act how I feel.”

-impulse

[agressive-demons]

[agressive-demons]

[agressive-demons]

“Have you ever felt alone with people around you?” -Brennan Savage

[agressive-demons]

“I’m afraid that if I open myself to accept happiness, fire will come in instead and burn me down.”

— tara love / and i’ll go down in flames