๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
A compilation of things a muse of mine has said. Ranges from 100% seriousness to absolute chaos (but mostly chaos). Change pronouns / etc. when sending as needed.
tw for drinking/alcohol mentions, suggestive content, violence mentions, lots of swearing / insults, other non-PG shenanigans.
โ Get the heart eyes away from me. โ
โ I can't help it, I'm just too hot. โ
โ Was I supposed to NOT be mean? โ
โ I am what the boomers like to call a "delinquent". โ
โ Just think before you say anything, "would I say this to [name] for fun", and if the answer is yes, do not say that shit to her. โ
โ Aw, did that hurt your little feelings? โ
โ Oh dear god, what torture are you going to put me through now? โ
โ Words cannot express how much I hate the words that I just read with my own two eyes. โ
โ Call me [nickname] again and I'll break your face. โ
โ If you turn that into a sex joke I swear to god โ โ
โ Cursed. Horrible. Disappointing. โ
โ Adorable that you think you're worth the effort. โ
โ The only kink here is gonna be the one in your fucking spine. โ
โ One, I'm not your babe. Two, I will fucking strangle you. โ
โ Do you have a death wish or something? โ
โ Feel like doing something ridiculous? โ
โ I feel like this is what happens before someone walks into an intervention. โ
โ My entire support system is having a crisis right now. โ
โ I'm just not ready to deal with it right now. โ
โ I'm not gonna try to fix things and get myself in another fight as a consequence. โ
โ I fucked up and kinda shut down before I could. โ
โ I don't know how to make this right. โ
โ Maybe he's better off without me. โ
โ You went right back to blaming me for everything the first chance you got. โ
โ I imagine it's hard for you to feel sorry for anyone at all. โ
โ I can't catch a fucking break. โ
โ I actually liked the idea that we could maybe be friends and move past everything, but you're always going to think the worst of me. โ
โ I guess I did ruin everything, didn't I? โ
โ I needed to win to prove to myself that I could do it. โ
โ No no, this one is actually a good idea! โ
โ See, this is why you're perfect for each other. โ
โ Maybe he'll be more receptive to it if you're there. Or at least less hostile about it. โ
โ I think you're probably the only person who could get through to him on this. โ
โ I've had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do to try to get by. I get what that's like. โ
โ You're not a snack, you're a whole damn meal. Don't be humble. โ
โ Soooo I might have done something. โ
โ He's too much of a petty bitch for that. โ
โ I'm going to terrorize him. โ
โ Guess I better get the bullying out of my system before then. โ
โ Wow, that's like, third base. โ
โ Hold my [object] while I kick ass for you. โ
โ You're the cutest duck, though. โ
โ That's the option with the least violence. โ
โ You're probably the only person I trust that much. โ
โ Okay that was cute, you can have a kiss for that one. โ
โ Um, that's me. I'm the Precious here. โ
โ I'm a scam of a person. โ
โ Don't worry, I'm sure all her murder energy is focused on [name]. โ
โ Want me to make mean faces at them? โ
โ There is something and I need you for impulse control. Or you can enable me, that's cool too. โ
โ Yeah but like, we're little shits by choice. He's a little shit out of hatred or spite or whatever the fuck fuels him to act like this. โ
โ I'm pretty sure my brain stopped working several times. โ
โ It's scandalous! I mean we're just SO wholesome and innocent. โ
โ People might start to think we're in love or something. โ
โ Getting kicked out of [location] sounds fun. โ
โ They are looking at me with their EYES. โ
โ . . . I've never seen that. โ
โ The trauma is half the fun. I'm just melodramatic. โ
โ Don't tell me how to breathe, mouth breather. โ
โ Why were you listening you fucking creature !? โ
โ Dude go to fucking therapy, I'm not even kidding. โ
โ I need to bleach my brain. โ
โ It was for safety purposes you nasty bastard! โ
โ Dishonor on you, gambling satan! โ
โ I don't know how you're still alive. โ
โ You call me the antichrist and accuse me of being pregnant at least three times per month. He gives me hugs and pizza. โ
โ No you're right, I set my expectations too high. โ
โ Why did you bet on THIS of all things oh my fucking god??? โ
โ Everyone's always like "[name] you have daddy issues" but I have no dad to have issues with so??? โ
โ I will beat you to death with your own limbs. โ
โ You Gary Busey lookin' bitch. โ
โ We have to watch you guys make bedroom eyes at each other all the time, we just want it to stop. โ
โ You use my horny behavior against me, it's only fair I get to use yours against you. โ
โ I have no sense of self preservation. It's why I get into so many fights. โ
โ Glad to know you approve of horrendously spiteful revenge tactics. โ
โ I may talk shit but I do worry about you. โ
โ Oh, I'm completely vile. I'm well aware. โ
โ At least I don't look like I got hit by a school bus because the driver thought you were a threat to the children on board. โ
โ Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much about the things you choose to be. โ
โ Well maybe you should, I don't know, talk to him about his trauma before you give him sex advice? Seems a bit out of order. โ
โ [name], don't touch my baby boy! โ
โ Did he drop kick my son !? โ
โ You told me you dropped [name/object] down the stairs, I do not trust you. โ
โ Say sike right now !! โ
โ Is this actually happening?? Am I having an aneurysm???? โ
โ I feel like this was a big accomplishment, we came out of this with no attempted murder. So it's a win. โ
โ Maybe we DO have the power of god and anime on our side. โ
โ I don't know if I trust you two drinking around each other. โ
โ I said behave oh my fucking god. โ
โ Do it for Voltron! โ
โ You like [food/brand/name], you clearly have no taste. โ
โ No breaking of the sacred pinky oath! โ
โ That was so stupid, but thanks for the attempted save. โ
โ I'm gonna hit you in the dick with a car while listening to the Power Rangers theme song, and I'm gonna have so much fun doing it, dickhead. โ
โ The rules are reasonable. The problem is that I am unreasonable and I know I will break them. โ
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There was a little bit of disappointment on his face as he felt the shift of chakra in the air and he knew, he just knew, that Kakashi had gone way too far once again. Eventually they were going to have to have a sit down talk about it, but there was a time and a place for everything - and this was certainly not it. With a little bit of effort he managed to get the shinobi up onto his back, fingers laced together underneath their rear just to make it a more comfortable hold.
"I'll take care of you, mm?" The promise, just like always, was unspoken but there. The two had been relying on one another for so long, didn't matter if it was life or death situations ( though sometimes it honestly was ) because the promise would always be there.
His shoulders roll just a little bit, a hiss sounding through his lips as some of his own injures are pushed at because of carrying the man. He wouldn't trade it for the world though. The pain kept him conscious, reminded him that he was alive, and the warmth of Kakashi on his back was absolutely incredible. "You can rest you know, it'll be okay. Just let your eyes close and I'll wake you up if we need to stop before we get to the village."
Headband being slid back over his eye brings a sense of relief and he can finally stop focusing on the eye so much now, itโs covered by his headband and would be fine. Thereโs a tired hum that escapes him at the words from the other. โ Youโre probably right. โ they both know how often he ends up chakra exhausted, they both know how dangerously close he gets to being completely drained.
He feels dizzy as heโs moved to a sitting position, the world spins a bit and black spots dance in his vision over such a tiny amount of moving. He doesnโt say anything but dex can probably tell by how he wobbles for a moment.
โ I can walk. Just . . . Give me a moment? โ but he already knows the others mind is made up and knows heโs lying to both of them with his words so he lets himself be carried on the others back instead and it takes so much effort not to let the darkness swallow him up, so much.
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It, of course, doesn't take Kakashi long to realize that the person hovering over them was indeed not a thread of any kind. The entire growling act just made him smile and laugh just a bit. His hands continue to be gentle and kind as he eventually brings the headband down over the sharigan eye, attempting to shield it a little bit as well.
"Won't be the last either." He agrees with ease. He shifts a little so that he's squatting a bit more properly, hands moving to help pull Kakashi up into a sitting position. "Alright, up we go - onto my back. I'm not letting you walk anywhere."
Typically Dex wasn't the type to insist on things - he didn't like getting carried all that much either, but he knew there was no chance of Kakashi walking anywhere like this. Besides, at least like this, he knew Kakashi would be safe. Dex would never, not in a million years, ever let something happen to this man. His best friend. His everything.
His movements are sluggish but you can tell heโs somewhat alert to notice a presence, so much so that his head snaps to the other, mismatch eyes staring and chakra draining even more as sharingan spins and thereโs a growl from him even but then recognition registers in his gaze and heโs slumping again, one eye sliding shut to hide sharingan and stop the drain of chakra as much as possible. โ Mm. Home sounds good. . . โ heโs tired, beyond tired, whatever beyond tired is was what he currently was feeling.
โ We both know this isnโt the first time youโve showed up to find me. โ thereโs been a couple instances, when his chakra got to its dangerously low points ( like right now for that matter ).
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