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"i want more media with zero drama, no tension, and zero problematic characters and i am not joking"

Great! Here are my recommendations:

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A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

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I think we're starting to dilute the meaning of "terminally online". Like, no, it's not terminally online to have eccentric opinions about a popular TV show – people like that existed before "online" was a thing. Unless we're talking at least an "it's homophobic for gay furries to have rat fursonas because they're depicting gay people as vermin", the onlineness falls well short of terminal.

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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

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just started the X-Files after years of Pop Culture osmosis, parody, references and memes

But holy shit did none of you prepare me for the pathetic wet cat rizz of Fox Mulder. Puppy dog eyes every other scene. He loses every stand off with every other government agent, military op, co-worker he bumps into. Sassy little quips in between getting his ass kicked and the puppy dog eyes. he's deeply traumatized. he has no social life. he never knows whats going on. he's one of the smartest people in any room he's in and knows more than most what's going on.

This guy is just sopping wet vibes, desperate need to believe, and love for Scully. Character of all time.

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MIDNIGHT MASS Episode 2 - "Book II: Psalms"

#my little miaow miaow

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Let's Scare Jessica To Death (1971) dir. John D. Hancock

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BELL, BOOK AND CANDLE dir. Richard Quine 

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whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean

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I've never seen more seriously disturbing taste in men than that of Louis de Point du Lac. He would treat true crime documentaries like grindr. He would not notice you're breathing in his presence unless you're covered in blood plotting genoc*de. His dick won't get hard unless you're full of mental illness yet unknown to the psychiatric community. And honestly, good for her

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I've never seen more seriously disturbing taste in men than that of Louis de Point du Lac. He would treat true crime documentaries like grindr. He would not notice you're breathing in his presence unless you're covered in blood plotting genoc*de. His dick won't get hard unless you're full of mental illness yet unknown to the psychiatric community. And honestly, good for her

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So how do you measure the worth of a man, In wealth or strength or size? In how much he gained or how much he gave? The answer will come, The answer will come to him who tries To look at his life through heaven’s eyes

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1x07

#she changed me

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me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

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#me-core